She’s got herpes (AJ’s I told you so thread)

[MoreThanSmooth]

Why?

My first serious girlfriend ever, and if I have sex with her I'm looking at having to explain to every girl I ever date that I have a permanent sexually transmitted infection. Not exactly a good look, or a small burden for a first GF...

 

[Murk]

Not everyone has a noticable outbreak. If you recently infected, your body prob. hasn't developed anti-bodies yet. You'd have to wait 6 weeks to 3 months. What you want is the Western Blot test. It's the most accurate.

Getting a Western Blot done from the UK - Herpes Information, Resources, & Consultation | Westover Heights

Hi there Terri, I spoke to you a couple months ago about my HSV concerns. I have received 3 negative IGG tests for HSV 1 and 2. I do suffer from OCD and am struggling to accept the negative results knowing that there is a more reliable test out there which I haven’t done. I […]

westoverheights.com

Frequently Asked Questions - The University of Washington Virology Research Clinic

depts.washington.edu

I'm in UK so not sure I can get that?

If I have to wait 6 weeks+ I may as well just drop this girl

 

[Serenity]

You mean HSV-1.

Yes I do. Sh!t, can't edit anymore...

 

[RickTheToad]

Antibodies for HSV will show in a blood test after about 3 months I think, but if you get any kind of sore genitally or orally, go RIGHT AWAY to the doc to get it swabbed. Primary outbreaks typically occur within the first two weeks of exposure, but this is not the rule. It can lay dormant for years.



No, she is not your responsibility. You are your responsibility. This is the mentality I had in every relationship prior, which kept me codependent and beta AF. Doesn't mean you have to be an a$$hole or mistreat her. Just be honest with yourself first, then her about what you really want and what will make YOU happy.

@RickTheToad, that's strange the blood test would come back false positive. Usually it's false negative. That's fvcked up she didn't disclose.

I have seven tests showing zero probability of HSV. I've never even had Mono. They are stating that since the original doc who tested me must had messed something up. Especially when we requested the medical report, they "misplaced it". He had since gone out of business, but yes, after that I went into a slight depression. This was in my mid 20's. Made some stupid mistakes, but fixed them pretty quickly with relatively little harm.

PoF, most ladies just don't give a fvck about you. Just keep that in the back of your mind. I honestly believe that.

 

[RickTheToad]

I'm in UK so not sure I can get that?

If I have to wait 6 weeks+ I may as well just drop this girl

Your choice, but if you care about her, doesn't hurt to consider options. Then again, if you do have it too (after-all, you did raw dog her), it's not cool passing it on to other ladies. Let's fvck them, not try to be or act irresponsibly like them.

 

[Murk]

Your choice, but if you care about her, doesn't hurt to consider options. Then again, if you do have it too (after-all, you did raw dog her), it's not cool passing it on to other ladies. Let's fvck them, not try to be or act irresponsibly like them.

Well if we both have it then I may as well stick with her, but then again her mums death is impending and I don’t really wanna have to look after this girl and drag her through the depths of despair

 

[Billtx49]

Well if we both have it then I may as well stick with her

her mums death is impending and I don’t really wanna have to look after this girl and drag her through the depths of despair

Hope you realize how diametrically opposed these two statements are…
Doesn’t say much for focused and directed intent…

Get your own medical diagnosis, don’t depend on what she tells you.

Men help to emotionally maintain women they care about in times of their need…

 

[sazc]

I remember your post from some time ago this year, it was I think Sara. Well whatever, the point is, you are reckless as fck. True alpha males are not like you, I have a friend here who don't know what game is, he is natural born slayer, he always bags it.

Murk probably has hpv from Sara (or gave it to her) and is spreading that love all around.

@Murkserious my intuition says that this chick has genital herpes (hsv2) and is sugar coating it as a way of a " soft introduction' of the topic to you.

Regardless, she has genital herpes and could possibly give them to you. Unless she plans on taking suppressive medication moving forward she could pass them along to you because (she claims) this is a brand new diagnosis

 

[Mazer]

Herpes Type 1 is no big deal. Type 2 is a different story. I have to agree with Sazc, she might have type 2 and she isn’t telling you or this is all one big **** test. Keep banging away if it’s only type1

 

[Murk]

Hope you realize how diametrically opposed these two statements are…
Doesn’t say much for focused and directed intent…

Yes I do, if I have what she has I'll be conflicted.

@sazc @Mazer

Didn't you read the text message in the OP? The results from the NHS clinic say it's hsv-1

 

[PeasantPlayer]

It's crazy out here and it's not worth it. Honestly I think herpes is overrated and would not classify it as a disease, in rare cases when you get the mutated ones that's different but rare. I've talked to doctors who said it's not serious and majority of people have it. There are seldom cases of heroes traveling up your spine and messing up your nervous system.

Reminds me of this one chick I chatted up at a coffee shop. Told me she had HPV and didn't tell her boyfriend. I assumed it was one of the ones that didn't cause warts

Sad world

 

[sazc]

Yes I do, if I have what she has I'll be conflicted.

@sazc @Mazer

Didn't you read the text message in the OP? The results from the NHS clinic say it's hsv-1

Murk, she "said" it's hsv1. You didn't actually see/read the results yourself.

Honestly, it's really no matter what type she has, she has them by her vadge, right? Which means, if she's not going to go on suppressive therapy, she can transmit to you during any stage of an outbreak. You say she 'had no clue' she has this disease, which tells me she doesn't know what the symptoms of an outbreak are so there's a good chance she will pass them on, not understanding she's having an episode.

If you really like this girl and want to keep seeing her, it's time to have the hard talk of "how is she going to deal with this moving forward so that you don't get it?" A condom isn't going to wholly protect you with this one

 

[Murk]

Murk, she "said" it's hsv1. You didn't actually see/read the results yourself.

Honestly, it's really no matter what type she has, she has them by her vadge, right? Which means, if she's not going to go on suppressive therapy, she can transmit to you during any stage of an outbreak. You say she 'had no clue' she has this disease, which tells me she doesn't know what the symptoms of an outbreak are so there's a good chance she will pass them on, not understanding she's having an episode.

If you really like this girl and want to keep seeing her, it's time to have the hard talk of "how is she going to deal with this moving forward so that you don't get it?" A condom isn't going to wholly protect you with this one

The screenshot is on post 1, page 1

Are you saying that isn't conclusive evidence of hsv1?

Should I talk to her or just keep it moving? Yes she's great and the sex is prob the best I've had but I can get new girls, better girls.

I'm off to see Maria now, maybe I can coax some amazing sex from her, she doesn't get wet and silky like OP girl though

 

[sazc]

The screenshot is on post 1, page 1

Are you saying that isn't conclusive evidence of hsv1?

Should I talk to her or just keep it moving? Yes she's great and the sex is prob the best I've had but I can get new girls, better girls.

I'm off to see Maria now, maybe I can coax some amazing sex from her, she doesn't get wet and silky like OP girl though

It's up to you if you stick around or keep it moving. My decision on that would depend on what the other person was doing about the diagnosis. Is she just sitting there, helpless and like a victim? All damsel in distress like? Or is she taking her diagnosis and health into her own hands, learning about it and how she can manage it?

Hsv-1 as cold sores in the mouth are not that big of a deal IMO but, if I had them, I would take medication to prevent an outbreak. Hsv1 on her crotch? That would give me great pause, esp if she isn't actively dealing with it

 

[Black Magic]

To reiterate what I said earlier, it's up to you @Murkserious how big of a deal it is to you, but here are the facts:

HSV-1 in the genital region *typically* does not break out as often and sheds asymptomatically less than if it was type 2, because you're dealing with a non-preferred site for type 1. You *can* get it however genitally or orally if a) she has an outbreak or b) she's shedding asymptomatically.

The prevention is simple. She goes on regular suppressive therapy (Valtrex) and you wear a rubber. That and she learns the signs of a pending outbreak called prodrome (tingling, itching, burning) and obviously what's an active sore. At this time you'll want to refrain from *all* sexual contact till a few days after the sore(s) are completely gone.

 

[17 shots]

I've had but I can get new girls, better girls.

That's the pimp in you, trying to be heard, listen to him. Great sex is replacable. You do not have to be with her, and you don't owe her anything. Dont let her guilt trip you. I guarantee you, that there are plenty of thirsty dudes out there ready to dive balls deep into that herpes, so let some other guy put his cape on and save her

Just move on and use condoms forever. Players only live once

 

[RickTheToad]

Well if we both have it then I may as well stick with her, but then again her mums death is impending and I don’t really wanna have to look after this girl and drag her through the depths of despair

Shouldn't kick a person when their down. You seem to have feelings for her, which is fine. Continue on, but have her (and you) take the sups both me and Marmel suggested to protect you from getting it and prevent her from having an outbreak. Or, you can get her to take Valtrax.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

@Murkserious All those unprotected blow jobs catching up with you, and not only blow jobs. I once had an uncle he died of AIDS, he got it because he used to shoot himself with heroin and share needles. My grandma died and he was direct air for her property, in fact she made a will to him. Guy's a junkie since age 18 and he was then 52 and all his life he didn't held a solid job, spend half his life in prison, and shot himself up with heroin, made hell of a life for grandma and the rest of family, she had two daughters in the U.S. and a grandson, me. She chose to leave it all to him. He had this young wife age 22, and she's a hoe quite literally. So I end up fcking her unprotected. It was a scare more than one way. But I did not get HIV- that is what she had. Because apparently it's hard to get transmission through vaginal sex. It wasn't too long ago, around year 2015. Anyway, guess what, I learned my lesson hard, I'm bagging it. There are these Japanese condoms they are really thin, I'm using Okamoto 003, and there are now 001, even though I haven't seen them in drug stores yet. Always bag it.

Per CDC getting HIV is extremely rare. It's like 0.008 percent chance. I believe most people catch it from downlow homosexual sex and needle sharing

 

[Murk]

Shouldn't kick a person when their down. You seem to have feelings for her, which is fine. Continue on, but have her (and you) take the sups both me and Marmel suggested to protect you from getting it and prevent her from having an outbreak. Or, you can get her to take Valtrax.

What sups were they?

I just have a weird feeling for her now, especially her frantic desperation since she told me on Friday, she hasn’t let me breathe despite me telling her I needed some time, it’s actually turned me completely off her.

I think I’ll have to let this go, the thought of having sex with her is a turn off now, maybe if I’d known her longer than 2/3 weeks the pull would be stronger.

 

[RickTheToad]

What sups were they?

I just have a weird feeling for her now, especially her frantic desperation since she told me on Friday, she hasn’t let me breathe despite me telling her I needed some time, it’s actually turned me completely off her.

I think I’ll have to let this go, the thought of having sex with her is a turn off now, maybe if I’d known her longer than 2/3 weeks the pull would be stronger.

Just relax and don't make any frantic decisions. Take your time and proceed with care and consideration for both you and this lady. Here are the sups:

Monolaurin

Lysine

Elderberry