So I actually made myself approach a girl who was exactly my taste tonight

[sosousage]

I did a good job in person

I'm not a good writer, I'm not clever or funny. My strength is i have a very good demeanor and how i carry myself. That's how i make friends and am so good at my job. People are drawn to me because I'm genuinely a very good person. That's what i need to focus on and keep the chit chat to a minimum

shes still banging her ex dude

 

[spinich]

Dave, save yourself the humiliation. Even if she gives you a pity date, you will probably start talking about what to name your kids. And she will gag, and you will be the topic of discussion as she f*cks her ex or some other guy. If nothing else they will have a topic to discuss between screwing.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Should be pretty easy in theory

so is losing weight, But tons of people are fat.

 

[bigdave17]

What would you recommend? Wait until thursday? Or friday?

Also i want a 1 on 1 date. You guys are all seemingly recommending that i invite her out when I'm hanging out with my friends at a location. I did that once for a 1st date and it worked out terribly

How do I get a 1 on 1 date out of it?

Can someone explain this to me?

 

[bigdave17]

All along insisted he just needed the opportunity. Under it all...truly clueless.

I need an actual date or 2. My strength is the date, not text game. I need in person opportunity

 

[RickTheToad]

I need an actual date or 2. My strength is the date, not text game. I need in person opportunity

GO TO HAPPY HOURS AND CHAT UP THE LADIES. WORK THE ROOM. GET EXPERIENCE. IT'S NOT THAT HARD!

JESUS.

 

[bigdave17]

GO TO HAPPY HOURS AND CHAT UP THE LADIES. WORK THE ROOM. GET EXPERIENCE. IT'S NOT THAT HARD!

JESUS.

I want to do that but i want to make sure i follow this lead process correctly all the way through

 

[Totallykile]

I want to do that but i want to make sure i follow this lead process correctly all the way through

Don't let it be at the forefront of your mind constantly just do what Rick said and if she texts you she texts you, if not then you should have some new leads to pursue if you follow Rick's advice and everyone else's for that matter.

 

[LiveYourDream]

It doesn't matter if it doesn't work out with her

Remind yourself of this ^^^, as often as needed. She’s just one step on your journey. What matters is that you keep improving, growing and actively moving yourself forward.

 

[RickTheToad]

@bigdave17 is like the teenage brother who's just getting his feet wet in the dating realm. This is not a mathematical problem you can solve with your brain. In fact, you do not have to think on this, just do.

1) Go to the bar.
2) Get a drink (get ginger ale or something with no alcohol if you cannot control yourself when you're buzzed)
3) Walk over to some groups of people and chime in.
4) After a few minutes, go to the next one.
5) Rinse repeat.
6) You see a lady in the corner of your eye looking at you, then looking right away, go and approach. Walk over and chat. What are you drinking. Look at her shoes, say, love the shoes. I can see you have a sense of style. I like that in a lady. Pro tip - have nice looking shoes. After that, just expand. Stay for a few minutes, and then say well, I just wanted to introduce myself, and I going to chat with a few friends over there. IF you are interested, say to her, let's chat again before you leave. If she hangs around or approaches you again, you're in. Get the number and call her 3 - 4 days later, not next morning. If she's in her 20's, text would be better.

YOU: Hey!!! it's Big Dave from the other night at the Roxberry
Her: Oh hey!!!!
YOU: Listen, I'd love to meet up for some drinks this week. What day works for you?
HER: Kewl. I'm free Monday.
YOU: Let's meet at Joe's Bar at 7pm.
HER: Gr8!!
YOU: Anything changes let me know.
HER: U2


Simple and to the point. DON'T TEXT HER AGAIN!

 

[Atom Smasher]

The rules and techniques exist as training wheels. You need them right now. Later you will be able to finesse and bend the rules to your own style.

Does it have to be a bar date? I personally do a lot better on action dates, or day dates. You can really reveal your personality much better that way. If you can do an action date, that's when you tell her "I'm doing XYZ. Join me." If it's a bar date or dinner date (neither of which I advise unless you're looking for a quick hookup), then just tell her you're going to be at such and such a place, why not join me? You don't need to tell her the details... friends or whatever. You're planning on going and why doesn't she come with?

Keep it all light and relaxed. If yes, great. If no, great. Doesn't matter. Just play the game.

 

[bigdave17]

The rules and techniques exist as training wheels. You need them right now. Later you will be able to finesse and bend the rules to your own style.

Does it have to be a bar date? I personally do a lot better on action dates, or day dates. You can really reveal your personality much better that way. If you can do an action date, that's when you tell her "I'm doing XYZ. Join me." If it's a bar date or dinner date (neither of which I advise unless you're looking for a quick hookup), then just tell her you're going to be at such and such a place, why not join me? You don't need to tell her the details... friends or whatever. You're planning on going and why doesn't she come with?

Keep it all light and relaxed. If yes, great. If no, great. Doesn't matter. Just play the game.

You think its a bad idea just to say "hey its Dave did you want to hang out this weekend?" I would much rather do a straight up request than skirt around it by asking her to join me

 

[Atom Smasher]

In my view, saying you want her to join you is anything but skirting around it. Women perceive that I am taking charge and asking directly when I do that.

Join me is a direct command and statement of intent, right?

NEVER ask a women if she wants to "hang out". That conveys aimlessness and lack of direction (aka weakness). Have something already planned and then ask her or tell her you'd like her to join you.

Be a man of direction and purpose. That's what all women want us to be, and that's a worthy way to be. You decide what you are doing, and you ask her if she'd like to join you. Do you see the difference in what is conveyed here?

You never want to appear directionless or without intent. Quality men don't ask a girl to hang out. They decide on something to do, and then ask a woman to join them.

A man of decision is hot, hot hot in a woman's eyes. Just ask the women here.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Always assume that any prospective date WANTS you to be decisive and take charge. I always say that women absolutely crave this, because most men are not decisive, but rather they are timid and tentative.

YOU set the tone. She wants nothing to do with decision making. Women hate to make decisions and they love a man to decide what they are going to do, especially in the very early stages. Later, she can have some input. She wants you to take the reins, brother. Believe it.

It may be too late for this one... we are not sure yet. But for the next one, mark my words and follow them. You will be blown away how attracted women are to a man of decision.

 

[guru1000]

Dave, you ask a lot of questions and that's good. Outside of getting abundant I'm going to share one more thing I'd like you to develop or start to work on:

I want you to understand one important concept: Hot chicks don't care about looks or money (without it put to status) per se as much as you think. They care about high value. Sometimes these concepts are intertwined whereas good looks or money create high value but ultimately it is the high value that attracts and can be mutually exclusive and apart from looks/money too. This is wired deep in their DNA and they have limited control over whom they are attracted to. If you look at most 8-9s, you'll see them with men couple points below their SMV, but usually with men who portray higher social value. This is not the exception, rather the rule. At least almost ubiquitously in NYC.

The portrayal of high value is what you are after and more often this is found in the alphas of social groups. Since you don't have much social group standing in elite groups, you need to focus on building this high value in other ways.

In every act and interaction you must display such value. Text medium is an exchange that is very tricky for the newbies as learning how to project high value in such a medium to a basic stranger is not easy. When you text things like, " So how do you like Illinois?" That is a low value question. Your pics on OLD are low value pics. The pics you post here in that red shirt selfie also make you appear as low value. Your problem is what you are projecting.

This is the area I believe you need to work on in especially in the context of your social acuity; that is ... how to build a high value vibe. Only then, can you do anything, and rules no longer apply.

Whenever you are faced with a question of what to do: Think, "What would a high value man do/say in this exact situation?" You start there, and your behaviors will eventually internalize until you project that vibe unconsciously.

 

[bigdave17]

Always assume that any prospective date WANTS you to be decisive and take charge. I always say that women absolutely crave this, because most men are not decisive, but rather they are timid and tentative.

YOU set the tone. She wants nothing to do with decision making. Women hate to make decisions and they love a man to decide what they are going to do, especially in the very early stages. Later, she can have some input. She wants you to take the reins, brother. Believe it.

It may be too late for this one... we are not sure yet. But for the next one, mark my words and follow them. You will be blown away how attracted women are to a man of decision.

But how do you do it that way and still making it a 1 on 1?

I don't want a friends group date. I want to see her 1 on 1

Give me an example of a quality 1st date idea and how to ask for it

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You’re blindly putting faith into rules.

No, he's not.

He's using a self-deceptive based adherence to rules to hide the fact (from himself most of all) he is TERRIFIED of chatting up random people, especially attractive women.

 

[bigdave17]

Dave, you ask a lot of questions and that's good. Outside of getting abundant I'm going to share one more thing I'd like you to develop or start to work on:

I want you to understand one important concept: Hot chicks don't care about looks or money (without it put to status) per se as much as you think. They care about high value. Sometimes these concepts are intertwined whereas good looks or money create high value but ultimately it is the high value that attracts and can be mutually exclusive and apart from looks/money too. This is wired deep in their DNA and they have limited control over whom they are attracted to. Looks at most 8-9s, and you'll see them with men couple points below their SMV, but usually with men who portray higher social value. This is not the exception, rather the rule.

The portrayal of high value is what you are after and more often this is found in the alphas of social groups. Since you don't have much social group standing in elite groups, you need to focus on building this high value in other ways.

In every act and interaction you must display such value. Text medium is an exchange that is very tricky for the newbies as learning how to project high value in such a medium is not easy. When you text things like, " So how do you like Illinois?" That is a low value question. Your pics on OLD are low value pics. The pics you post here in that red shirt selfie also make you appear as low value. Your problem is what you are projecting.

This is the area I believe you need to work on in especially in your social acuity; that is ... how to build a high value vibe. Only then, can you do anything, and rules no longer apply.

Whenever you are faced with a question: Respond with, "What would a high value man do/say in this exact situation?" You start there, and your behaviors will internalize until you project that vibe unconsiously.

I'm not a good writer, never have been. It was my mistake to start texting any sort of convo. I should have done exactly as you said

I need to focus on my real strengths- i have excellent body language and masculine good voice. I need to focus on meeting women in person and if i get a number, trying to get a date out of it ASAP

 

[bigdave17]

No, he's not.

He's using a self-deceptive based adherence to rules to hide the fact (from himself most of all) he is TERRIFIED of chatting up random people, especially attractive women.

I approached these 2 women on Saturday, including a legit 8/10 (her friend was gross)

By myself, no wingman

 

[17 shots]

Knock it off dave, you've been making threads here for 2 years, and now you're acting as if you're clueless on how to set up a 1 on 1 date. You're lucky so many people here have a savior complex