The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[NSX-R]

40 days of No contact. 99% of the time feel like she never existed in my life , like she was just another unknown person walking on a crowded street , if you guys know what i mean . But there is still that 1% that I’m still battling.
She was the first woman i genuinely had feelings for and didn’t see her as just another woman to fck . I’m paying the price right now .

I read some of the other posts and i can relate a lot to @murkserious . I was reading each post and it felt like someone was describing my story. Many similarities .

Anyway, no current plates as I’m too busy with my business even though i met 2 new hb9s on instagram. They found me so I responded but I’m not thirsty for relationship or anything in that matter . We’ll see. Still hitting the gym hard . Can’t say I haven’t been affected by that break up . I believe I’m about to close some of my last sweet spots and go full cold blooded. My afc self is counting down his last days. That was my main focus since i started reading ss .
That break up made me stronger and I can’t thank my ex more for being such a Biatch and didn’t let me do something more with her . That was a very valuable lesson.

I’ll post again if anything new appears.

 

[rAFCOliver]

40 days of No contact. 99% of the time feel like she never existed in my life , like she was just another unknown person walking on a crowded street , if you guys know what i mean . But there is still that 1% that I’m still battling.
She was the first woman i genuinely had feelings for and didn’t see her as just another woman to fck . I’m paying the price right now .

I read some of the other posts and i can relate a lot to @murkserious . I was reading each post and it felt like someone was describing my story. Many similarities .

Anyway, no current plates as I’m too busy with my business even though i met 2 new hb9s on instagram. They found me so I responded but I’m not thirsty for relationship or anything in that matter . We’ll see. Still hitting the gym hard . Can’t say I haven’t been affected by that break up . I believe I’m about to close some of my last sweet spots and go full cold blooded. My afc self is counting down his last days. That was my main focus since i started reading ss .
That break up made me stronger and I can’t thank my ex more for being such a Biatch and didn’t let me do something more with her . That was a very valuable lesson.

I’ll post again if anything new appears.

Well done man, complete change to how you were at the start of the challenge. It’s hard when you genuinely have feelings for them but you’re a better man now, different chapter of your life.

 

[NSX-R]

Well done man, complete change to how you were at the start of the challenge. It’s hard when you genuinely have feelings for them but you’re a better man now, different chapter of your life.

That’s true . I guess my environment helped a lot . My work , my circle everything helped to escape it . This thread helped as well. It’s important if there is something or someone to speak freely about this kind of issue . This thread helps you to let go and it’s relieving when you see others with the same problem been able to move on . It’s just an example that tou can move on .

It’s as you said , I’m in a different chapter now and I’m glad that I’ve been through the previous one . Confident and stronger.

 

[MakaTakyn]

Hi

 

[TBG]

FWB hit me with "Hey about Friday, I don't think I can make it. I've been talking to someone the past couple of days and decided to see where things go there. Thought it was best to be honest with you".

The sex was really good and we did get on really well but the urge to take things further on my end wasn't really there....until now when obviously my ego is bruised.

I've not replied and don't planning on doing so. Just going to chalk it up and move on.

 

[mightyrobber]

Day 31
My first post here. Quick rundown what happend. I was seeing 19 year old girl for about 3 months very casual. A lot of red flags from the begining, major lier, daddy issues, drug problems in the past, hanged up on semi celebrity ex boyfriend. sex was good, never actted needy. she ended up flaking 2 dates in the row with no reschudeling, told her im not gonna message her again and left no reaponse from her. I guess for some reason i caught some unexpleined feeling. past few days i have major itch to reach out to her and break nc but i wont do it. It sucks

 

[djbravo]

Back here after 5 years or so. Let's do this!! Day 1 and I'm feeling terrible. This one is really intense. Have given my phone to my roommate to hide. Hope I stay strong

 

[soulforge]

Day 2 no contact..

She ended it two days ago by text message after two years together long distance.

We had a couple of very minor arguments, however when you are long distance, the resentment can fester and it is much more difficult to resolve issues.

We both distanced ourselves a little the last week before the breakup.. I could sense something was wrong, so I pulled back a little too..

Anyhow I really did have strong feelings for this chick, she was a great girlfriend for the majority of the time, however she has a chiled of age 14.. And I cannot continue investing in a woman for another 4 years till he grows up.

Long distance is hard fukin work.. only seeing each other once or twice a week? For six years? Its not going to workout.

She did me a favour by ending it.. Truth is, I shouldn't have got myself involved emotionally in the first place with a woman who isn't able to be in a proper relationship.

This is my own fault.. I should have ended it with her a good while ago.

I find it sad, because she was my ideal type of girl, very caring and genuine. No games, no chit tests or drama.

I'm angry about the fact she ended it by a pathetic little text message.

So I chose not to respond back and have completlety Ghosted her.

I should be feeling relieved that I am out of this situation two years in... Instead of wasting more time.. But instead I feel saddened.

 

[glass half full]

I understand your pain...but realize, as flaky as it is texting her message, she saved you a long angry drive home. A lot of things can happen in that instance.

I know how long distance LTR can be. My friend has one three hours away, been doing it for year and a half. He's 56 or 57.
Harder for us older fellas.
Makes you wonder if they feel as bad as we do when that happens, when they dump us.

Gather yourself, do things you enjoy and soon you'll be boffing someone else Lol. Keep your chin up.

 

[soulforge]

I understand your pain...but realize, as flaky as it is texting her message, she saved you a long angry drive home. A lot of things can happen in that instance.

I know how long distance LTR can be. My friend has one three hours away, been doing it for year and a half. He's 56 or 57.
Harder for us older fellas.
Makes you wonder if they feel as bad as we do when that happens, when they dump us.

Gather yourself, do things you enjoy and soon you'll be boffing someone else Lol. Keep your chin up.

Long distance only works for a certain length of time.. Much higher probability if things falling apart..

I wanted to be with her, live with her, buy a house together.... But doing another 4 years long distance, seems like a waste of my time.

 

[soulforge]

the funny thing about long-distance is the longer it lasts the more convinced the man is that it will go forward, meanwhile the longer it lasts the more likely the woman is going to come to her senses and end it lol. Just another classic paradox.

This is spot on mate... At first I had doubts about the long distance... Then we started having a great time, even though it was once or twice a week.

You start kidding yourself and convince yourself it can work out.. Then she realises it probably won't work out... Game over lol

 

[soulforge]

So i've come to the realisation that this relationship should have ended ages ago..

I never should have got involved with someone with a young kid, who isn't able to have a proper relationship with me.

Moving forward.. I would love to hear from her again, simply so I can ignore the chit out of her lol. Two years relationship in which I was really good to her, and she ended it in such a cowardly way, with a pathetic text message.

I'm somewhat glad she ended it.. otherwise I would have carried on with her for more years.

I have completely ignored her so far.. Is ghosting her, more than likely the best way to get some reaction from her?

By the way i have a arranged a date with this hotty for this coming Saturday!

 

[soulforge]

I'm coming to the realisation that she did me a HUGE favour..

If we had carried on like this, it was VERY likely to go wrong, due to the distance.

She saved me from a fuk load of heart ache 2-3 or 4 more years down the line!


Got a chick who is interested in me at work.. she is a hb7.. not relationship material, but defo worth banging.

Plus got two dates set up for the weekend.. might aswell have some fun.

 

[powersize]

20 Days of NC

Learned my mistakes and going forward.

Did you guys have such stuff as "cultural differences" between the girl and you? Or it is just an excuse that she is not interested in relationships with you?

 

[soulforge]

5 days No Contact

Feeling a sense of relief

The relationship would never had lasted long distance for another 4 years.

I was wasting my time on this, she has done me a favour.

 

[rAFCOliver]

5 days No Contact

Feeling a sense of relief

The relationship would never had lasted long distance for another 4 years.

I was wasting my time on this, she has done me a favour.

Keep positive as much as possible bro. I had a new lease of life when I decided to break up with my toxic distant ex. Get in the gym, focus on work, exhaust your hobbies and get socialising. Take some time for yourself, I wouldn’t recommend getting back out there cause you’ll not be yourself, dates will be a waste of money. Rebuild, grow and become a better person than before.

 

[European-DJ]

5 days No Contact

Feeling a sense of relief

The relationship would never had lasted long distance for another 4 years.

I was wasting my time on this, she has done me a favour.

Guess I’m back on with you on the NC after a couple of years.

First of all, if you haven’t already done it, I would highly recommend you to go back and re-read your own posts, the advice you gave to me and the advice you offered to Jariel.

If nothing else, it should make you overcome the pain easier as it puts things into perspective. Also, having read your recent topic, I believe your last girlfriend was much harder to get over then your current one!

Anyway, day 1 is commencing for me as of this moment, and I’m sincerely interested to see what I’m going to feel this time around!

 

[soulforge]

Guess I’m back on with you on the NC after a couple of years.

First of all, if you haven’t already done it, I would highly recommend you to go back and re-read your own posts, the advice you gave to me and the advice you offered to Jariel.

If nothing else, it should make you overcome the pain easier as it puts things into perspective. Also, having read your recent topic, I believe your last girlfriend was much harder to get over then your current one!

Anyway, day 1 is commencing for me as of this moment, and I’m sincerely interested to see what I’m going to feel this time around!

Welcome back brother.. Lol

This one wasn't a toxic piece of chit, so should be alot easier to get over.

Plus it helps to know, that it was the wrong type of relationship to get into in the first place LDR..

It was doomed from the very beginning.. Their was no Disney ending with this one.. Just glad I got out out of it, within a reasonable time!!

 

[Johnwic11]

New ot the red pill and the blog. had a 5/6 month relationship that abruptly ended. After reading and blogging enough around here I'm pretty sure what happened. being alpha pulled her, turning into a beta and not passing the active test screwed me. she was a bartender tho. always out and about. pretty sure she got wasted night before her bday. screwed up. picked a fight the day after on her birthday. had sex in the morning she went distant. I called her out sunday. she sent me the its not you its me I feel guilty ( after reading on her pretty sure she found someone else and needed to feel better about her actions) anyways I ask her to dinner to see whats up cause the message wasn't clear if sh ewas dumping me. when I show up shes dumping mei said its beena fun five months. I wish you the best but I'm taking off and left her with a big glass of wine. been no contact since and will condintue to be no contact. actually ill never speak to her again. shes trying to throw pot shots by asking my buddies wife, if hes not allowed in the bar since she dumped me. trying to make me look weak. ill have some new plates shortly. but this no contact stuff is golden.

 

[zepped]

Day 6:

Difficult morning today but I did eat breakfast which is a positive sign. My appetite has been stifled since the split but this was expected. I had a few dreams where she was in it last night but I could feel the beta energy of neediness and desperation in them. I know that in order to be strong i must muster new energy inside of me. My blue pill conditioning will be hard to overcome but I am ware of it, and I am actively trying to stride towards becoming more centred, focused on my passions and interests now.

I am going to try hard to maintain the no Fapp thing, I want to keep up the streak of atleast a week to see me through to next week when this girl I am interested in gets back from her trip (Lithuanian bird who works for another company in our shared office space, we have been texting since the split and is actually much cooler / hotter than my ex but I am trying not to take my bucket of ONEitis and pour it over her head). I want her to feel that masculine energy radiate off me otherwise she'll sense that I am a beta *****.

I am fearful of being alone this evening, my housemate is going away until Saturday. I kind of need to go through periods of alone time though. It is the reality of life that there will always be chapters where you will be alone. In many ways, you have to overcome the pain through self-love and doing things that bring you joy.

Like I agreed, your head isn't ready to cake myself in girls and dating yet. I think you need at least a month before you can truly get back into your groove again. I know that she swiftly ran off to the bad boy ex immediately and left you, your beta old self in the dust, but this is the game that you play.

It makes me angry in ways that someone who you thought was totally into you, who had your back and relationship in good faith just disappears overnight to what is potentially another pit of despair that she may re-live again. In any case she wants to be single and you cant have a girl like that in your life.

I think I've accepted beyond any doubt now that there is no going back. I would be prepared to say no now, I will likely ignore any contact made despite that part of me clutching at the end of a cliff hoping this will all go back to the way it was.

The point is, understand that the game you are in is the game of yourself and your masculinity. You must always strive for better in your health, weal and opportunity. You must always be your mental point of origin

- Credit to Rationale Male by Rollo Tommasi for helping me analyse and express my situation with terminology.

Context:

These are entries to myself from my Morning Pages by Julia Cameron notes. It is probably the best way to get your head out onto paper and I recommend trying it out.

Girlfriend (23) me (25) going out for 3.5 years. We lived together on and off for most of it and it started off great then I slowly became more beta as I progresed in my career as a software engineer (which is a hard job and commands a lot of your energy). I started becoming more orientated around long-term things (mortgages etc)and lost my passions along the way (music, entrepreneurship) meaning I turned into a boring beta ****. Signs were visible 4/5 months prior where she mentioned she wanted to live with her friends instead of me, then started going out way more with her home friends and then I eventually found out she was messing around with the bad boy ex boyfriend before me who hurt her bla bla ... it is literally a club classic on February 13th 2019. Anyway, I swiftly asked her to move out like any person with some respect left would do and she then went on to say she wanted to be single so it was over like that. I had ONEitis bad with this girl so it will be a long journey no doubt.