Circumcision conversation

[Spaz]

True. But this doesn’t happen with every woman.

Only an invested woman will react as such in the hopes you'll spark something.

Those that didn't react didn't cared enough, they just left you.

Am I right flow ?

 

[Ranger]

There once was a young warrior in China. He was tired of loosing battles. The most recent lost battle was the last straw for him. He had to do something.
The emperor was holding court this day. All those of status and importance would be there.
So he cleaned up his armor and went to the court.

At the doors he was stopped by guards who would not let him pass. He told them to tell the emperor that his new General was there seaking audience.

Shocked and yet curious, he allowed the young warrior into his court. The entire room and all those present were silent. No common soldier ever entered the court. Yet the emperor wanted to learn about this “New” general he supposedly had. So in light of the festivities he would hear him out in front of all the influential people of the province.

The young warrior was already scarred and had the look of a hardened warrior. He stood in the middle of the court with all the onlookers curious about such a man who would dare assert such audacity.

He finally spoke and told the emperor that it was time for a change and that he was the new general. The court bursted out in laughter. Unphased he then told the emperor that to prove it, he would even teach the emperors concubines to march properly in short order and as well as his own troops. Again the court burst into laughter.
The young warrior then said...I will wager my own head. The court fell silent.
If I do this, i will win the honor of being your general. If I fail, I forfit my head.
All I ask is that I have full authority over the concubines while I train them.

Amused, the emperor agreed with a lavish smile. It was great entertainment.
Everyone knew that women could not be made to march. They were women.

So the warrior lined up the beautiful concubines and began instructing them. They were starting to learn but the head concubine would stop and in any way mess up the progress. All the concubines would giggle at the silly warrior. Laughter would fill the court. The warrior would patiently correct her and resume the training and marching around the court room.

Finally the warrior had enough. He turned to the court axeman and told him to chop the head off the concubine who was leading the amused concubines. The emperor leaped to his feet and the courtroom was filled with shock and murmurs.

The warrior knelt to one knee with his head bent down. He was awaiting his fate. But the emperor suddenly realized that now it was a matter of honor. She was his favorite concubine. The most beautiful woman of all the land. He was saddened. It was now a point of honor. He had, in fact, given the young warrior full authority. He nodded to the axeman who then proceeded to drag her to the block and chopped her head off. She died having no clue what this thing called honor was. It was just something silly men said.

In short order all the concubines were marching in perfect order. Shoulders up and back. Smartly executing the commands. The courtroom was in shock.

The emperor made him his general and never lost another battle.

 

[Ranger]

I’ve learned some things on this thread by just reading.
A couple of threads back, there was this discussion on the value of a beautiful woman on your arm as social proof and validation. That other women would want you. There is truth in it but only a half truth and of marginal value to the man.
Getting social proof and validation is still about the woman. I just didn’t like that. But I really had nothing to say towards the subject. Yet.

Now I do. It’s in the realm of the imperative. We talk about boundaries. I understood it but it wasn’t resonating deep enough with me. We talk about dismissing a woman. I understand it but it also wasn’t biting deep enough into me.

Take this beautiful woman that you are parading around on your arm for social proof, it’s the wrong model. You are quite stuck in the imperative. It’s rather degrading if you think about it. Girls do that.

Now at the first sign or act that violates your boundary (honor) you, figuratively, chop her head off in front of everybody, especially her friends. How valuable would you be then?
In fact, her friends would, figuratively, drop to their knees and open their mouths for you.
But that’s NOT why you do it....

You become a General by risking everything and chopping the head off something valuable to keep your honor intact.
You are your own General. Be it. That’s masculine.
Sacrificing your honor and personal integrity for a golden piece of a$$ and not dismissing her immediately is feminine and the laughter in the courtroom will humiliate you.

 

[flowtheory]

Only an invested woman will react as such in the hopes you'll spark something.

Those that didn't react didn't cared enough, they just left you.

Am I right flow ?

Yes. If I had this issue with a woman who wasn’t interested she would be gone. However this current woman sticks around. But now she’s starting to get a bit frustrated. Which is understandable

 

[sazc]

Yea this was my original suggestion, pretty simple and pragmatic.
But that’s when she went on about her thinking it’s the circumcision.. and how she never had this issue before with previous partners. She has preference for that.

You need to turn this sh1t around on her and tell her that YOU have never had this problem or complaint with ANYONE. And that you highly suspect that the real issue is with her body and then ask "what are we going to do to solve it?"

People will complain of you let them. Fine. Complain. But always follow up the complaint with "well, how are you/we going to solve this?". Never allow someone to dump THEIR problem in your lap and wait for you to solve it.

 

[Spaz]

Yes. If I had this issue with a woman who wasn’t interested she would be gone. However this current woman sticks around. But now she’s starting to get a bit frustrated. Which is understandable

The trajectory u r current heading doesn't bode well for you. Take it positively.

If I were to talk further of this it will be a rehash of what I said earlier or even a repeat of what others have said.

Do what's needed to change that trajectory.

 

[sazc]

Mark my words Flow boy, should you continue as you are now you'll end up just like LA (sorry LA, I'm using you as an example here).

He too is in your personality quadrant.

And as a coping mechanism he goes all BPD, NPD etc to make sense of his massive failures with women, each time he fails he blames the other party.

Do you want that as your future ?

Remember if I can easily profile who you are in the past and in your current state, I could just as easily predict your future.

Lol ur SUCH an attention seeker!

 

[flowtheory]

You need to turn this sh1t around on her and tell her that YOU have never had this problem or complaint with ANYONE. And that you highly suspect that the real issue is with her body and then ask "what are we going to do to solve it?"

People will complain of you let them. Fine. Complain. But always follow up the complaint with "well, how are you/we going to solve this?". Never allow someone to dump THEIR problem in your lap and wait for you to solve it.

Yea I did do that. I told her I’m just in my head, because I care a lot. She is understanding. But when we do it twice she just complained that her vagina gets irritated. And this is due to lack of lube - as she’s only been with uncircumsiced which apparently does give a bit of natural lubrication because of the skin. But also because I think I may be a bit passive in the bedroom, due to me being in my head trying to not lose my erection. It’s self consciousness feeding off each other.

 

[flowtheory]

The trajectory u r current heading doesn't bode well for you. Take it positively.

If I were to talk further of this it will be a rehash of what I said earlier or even a repeat of what others have said.

Do what's needed to change that trajectory.

And I will. Most parts are great between her and I.

What I’m going to do tomorrow eve is smoke a bit of weed before she comes over, so I’m relaxed, and won’t be in my head much, enjoy our night in other ways than sexual, and if she brings up disrespectful topics like some mentioned. Tell her to shut her mouth about that because it’s not cool and act insulted which I am

 

[Ranger]

I told her I’m just in my head, because I care a lot.

Why?
“Men should express their feelings to a woman.”
Feminine Imperative.

 

[Spaz]

Lol ur SUCH an attention seeker!

I could have sworn I've dismissed you multiple times and yet you keep coming back.

You having a hard time keeping Spaz out of your mind ?

 

[flowtheory]

Why?
“Men should express their feelings to a woman.”
Feminine Imperative.

But it’s true. My issues are I really give a sh!t about things, no matter what it is. And in terms of relationships, I really care when I find someone I like. And this is true in this scenario. I’m thinking so much, not wanting to screw it up, but in turn I screw it up.

Spaz was 100% correct in his personality breakdown of me. And it’s something I’m working on, but it’s difficult to just all of a sudden be super dominate and assertive. And don’t get me wrong, I like that I am expressive and really care; it’s just about finding a balance though.

And right now I’m too much in a passive and feely place.

 

[sazc]

@flowtheory I hope she's just a plate because no woman worth an LTR should put you in a mental haedspace where you think you need to get high before you see her in order to relax.

 

[sazc]

I could have sworn I've dismissed you multiple times and yet you keep coming back.

You having a hard time keeping Spaz out of your mind ?

Nah, I just watch the dribble you post, purposefully trying to cause drama in order to get people to engage you.

Completely worthless junk, I reported it as such

 

[Spaz]

Nah, I just watch the dribble you post, purposefully trying to cause drama in order to get people to engage you.

Completely worthless junk, I reported it as such

That's good to know.

Again, I repeat, I'm not here for you.

Now gather up ur little skirt and hurry along now like a good little girl.

 

[Ranger]

@flowtheory I hope she's just a plate because no woman worth an LTR should put you in a mental haedspace where you think you need to get high before you see her in order to relax.

This is worthless. ANY woman will put him in this headspace. He has already stated that he is too touchy feely and he knows it. He understands the dynamic. He will sort it out if he works on it.
You are misdirecting it to the woman and thus he will shift responsibility to the woman and not himself. It’s him. All him.

Getting high is a patch. It’s not a solution. A terrible one at that.

 

[flowtheory]

This is worthless. ANY woman will put him in this headspace. He has already stated that he is too touchy feely and he knows it. He understands the dynamic. He will sort it out if he works on it.
You are misdirecting it to the woman and thus he will shift responsibility to the woman and not himself. It’s him. All him.

Getting high is a patch. It’s not a solution. A terrible one at that.

You are correct in the first part

Well I already do smoke a bit here and there. She’s not the cause of my performance anxiety, but I need to relax and get in my body. This does assist. So if all goes well by getting me in my body it can restore confidence and break a thought loop which is currently happening.
It is a patch, but a bandaid can assist in healing and regeneration. But the true issue is what Spaz and others have stated. But that takes time which I will work out over the coming months and years. With or without a female present

 

[Spaz]

This is worthless. ANY woman will put him in this headspace. He has already stated that he is too touchy feely and he knows it. He understands the dynamic. He will sort it out if he works on it.
You are misdirecting it to the woman and thus he will shift responsibility to the woman and not himself. It’s him. All him.

Getting high is a patch. It’s not a solution. A terrible one at that.

She's spinning the imperative on OP.

 

[sazc]

This is worthless. ANY woman will put him in this headspace. He has already stated that he is too touchy feely and he knows it. He understands the dynamic. He will sort it out if he works on it.
You are misdirecting it to the woman and thus he will shift responsibility to the woman and not himself. It’s him. All him.

Getting high is a patch. It’s not a solution. A terrible one at that.

Ummmm
"Any" woman who gives ash1t will take care not to put him in this headspace.

I am directing the issue onto the woman because the woman isn't taking responsibility for her body, she's trying to shame him for what going on with her. It's ridiculous.

Men who can't sort facts like these out, that is reason why they get bitter.

 

[Ranger]

Ummmm
"Any" woman who gives ash1t will take care not to put him in this headspace.

I am directing the issue onto the woman because the woman isn't taking responsibility for her body, she's trying to shame him for what going on with her. It's ridiculous.

Men who can't sort facts like these out, that is reason why they get bitter.

It’s already sorted out. He gets it.
Trying to solve a problem already active and caused by his frame only sinks him more into girl world.
The solution is to create a new frame and reality within his personality traits that is workable. That’s not something I am qualified to help him with as I am not an overly feels person.
This woman was a loss at hello.