Female Trump Cards: Sex and Rejection

[bigneil]

So you're declaring Cosmopolitan obsolete? You don't think women study seduction as much as we do?

 

[Poon King]

Despite this post, the theme I've been hearing all week is "Women don't play games", "Women are 100% predictable", "Women who are interested will never, ever cancel a date", "Women do not play hard to get", "Women do not send mixed signals", "Women do not practice using absence to make heart grow fonder".

When a woman starts to fall for a man, she will use ALL of these tactics and more.

Did anyone ever think she might be doing us a favor if she raises our interest using these techniques?

Only if you are a man who likes being played with, deceived and manipulated.

When a person deceives you successfully... they take away your power to make smart choices that benefit you. I don't see how that is a good thing. If a woman cannot raise my interest level by being her TRUE self.. then she is garbage.

 

[bigneil]

Only if you are a man who likes being played with, deceived and manipulated.

When a person deceives you successfully... they take away your power to make smart choices that benefit you. I don't see how that is a good thing. If a woman cannot raise my interest level by being her TRUE self.. then she is garbage.

Ok, so Poon King is declaring that none of his relationships have ever featured a woman doing anything but worshipping him?

I'm calling BS.

Seriously you guys, get your heads out of your as-ses. Not one of you sounds like you ever had a second date to me.

 

[TheGambino]

This discussion is hilarious lmao

 

[Poon King]

Ok, so Poon King is declaring that none of his relationships have ever featured a woman doing anything but worshipping him?

I'm calling BS.

Seriously you guys, get your heads out of your as-ses. Not one of you sounds like you ever had a second date to me.

"Worshiping" is your words not mine.

When you twist words and definitions to manipulate the argument it makes you look even more wrong. Stick to the facts please.

Women care about what you can do for them. There is a lot I can do for a woman. Therefore, they are attracted to me. I take the lead, which makes them feel more feminine. I am challenging and difficult to control.. which makes them feel more feminine. I lust after them.. which makes them feel attractive, desirable, sexy and wanted. I flirt with them.. which makes them feel special.

Give women the gift of making them feel like women. The more you pander, roll over, submit, kiss a*s, and seek approval.. the more they feel like they are dating another woman. It also makes them feel less feminine if they are the more aloof one in the relationship. Not sure why this is hard to understand.

 

[The Duke]

My guess?

Like most women.. you are not comfortable with peace, quiet and consistency. You are also insecure and need constant reminders of your man's strength, power and abilities.

Why do you think a man cannot just say "I love you" or "You are beautiful" to a woman ONCE and never say it again? Women are deeply insecure and need constant reminders. Not just of a man's devotion, but of where she stands in all areas of life. Ironically.. it comes from a need for control.

I don't think it comes from a need for control as much as it does desire. The females deepest desire is to be desired. You mentioned it perfectly when you said this:
I lust after them.. which makes them feel attractive, desirable, sexy and wanted. I flirt with them.. which makes them feel special. <--Those are all things that create desire.

Its why she positions herself to be the object of affection. Its why she can't get enough of posting pics of herself on facebook. Its why she wears makeup and high heels. Its why she submits and gives her self to the right man. Its attractive to a woman to be taken by a man. When she is being taken she relinquishes all CONTROL and her DESIRE's are met for that moment in time. If it was about CONTROL, she would have never given herself up.

 

[highSpeed]

I have to weigh in on this topic and I think most of what the original poster said was true but it is kind of like a trap for a modern day man. I know myself, I had a childhood where my mother and father were not very nurturing and I mistakenly believed, based on movie and media portrayals, that my experience was in the minority. I believed, having not much in the way of male guidance, that if I just found the right one, that it would fill in that missing piece from my childhood. I believed that a loving relationship between a man and a woman would be a truly unbelievable experience. Having grown up with one divorce and having remarried, that my childhood experience was not far off from reality. Once it has sunk in for my, albeit too late, it has made me quite bitter and angry with my father for never providing the type of guidance that an experienced man should provide to his son, to prevent him from going down the road that he mistakenly went down. I would never, ever, push marriage as something my son should work towards. Now if it was a by-product of him living his passions, under the right legal circumstances, give it a shot. But it should never have been something on his radar as something he wanted to accomplish for his life.

The trap part from my first sentence, is when you make this mistake, there is no extracting yourself easily or without a good bit of damage. When you get married and now realize that sex and attention are the honeypot to get you in the door, what do you do then? I have two kids, a nice house, yea it's easy to say, just LEAVE! However, I like the lifestyle I have worked hard to achieve. I want a day-to-day relationship with my kids, not a weekend warrior parent. I don't want to see some other guy traipsed into the house I bought and have my kids call this person daddy. I don't want to be funding the lifestyle of my ex-spouse having some other guy bang her in the bed I paid for. What do you do then? Because believe me, that rejection, lack of respect and no sex is coming, no matter what they tell you when you start dating them. All of those things are coming when you get married without the legal framework to get you out of it. Having a good firm foundation of a pre-nup and how much money they get for each kid, regardless of income, that is the staying power for pretty much all women. If your career takes off and she would be penalized for leaving? That's the glue that keeps a marriage together, should you choose to get into it. If the difference is between a high living lifestyle and a middle class lifestyle, she'll choose to keep riding the d*ck. If the difference is between the mercedes and the accord, she'll keep riding the d*ck. If the difference is between the split level and the 6000 square foot mcmansion, she'll keep riding the d*ck.

There are a lot of things that I have learned since becoming an adult and having to learn them the hard way, perhaps some younger guys will come around here, read this and take it to heart.

 

[mikey2012]

Most men having "relationship issues" are living in fear. This goes for both single men and taken men.

What do they fear? They fear the two female trump cards:
1. Loss of Sex
2. Rejection

Women hang these trump cards over a man's head from the first day she meets him all the way to the day she divorces him. These trump cards never go away because MEN give them too much power.

Most men are afraid of the women they interact with. How many men have the balls to actually give women "rules" to follow?

Mindset is so important. Spinning plates is a great tool, but with the wrong mindset it gets you know where (see any post from Tenacity as evidence). To have the power and KEEP the power in relationships you must neutralize women's trump cards. HOW? It all comes down to how you view their trump cards.

The typical male viewpoint:
Loss of Sex = Man feels rejected, marginalized and emasculated
Rejection = The man "f*cked up" and lost something valuable

The views above are 100% blue pill brainwashing. Totally WEAK and wrong way to view those situations.

Here is the correct viewpoint:

Loss of sex = Great, now I can f*ck someone else!
Rejection = I guess we are not on the same page! Good to know. Now I can remove the pedestal AND the attention with it!

Why is it that men have such a hard time LEAVING a woman once he commits? It all comes down to pedestalization of that woman and fear of being single. You should not have a problem leaving a woman at any time for any reason. She isn't acting the way you want? Tell her to change. She won't change? LEAVE. She will usually chase you. Also, you should not care if you are in a relationship or not. This is the very important. YOU MUST NOT CARE IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP OR NOT.

All white knights.. cover your eyes: Treating women like dirt works. I flake. I disappear for a week. I ignore text messages. I tell them to "shut up" when they cry. I kick them out of my apartment. This is not done with abusive intent. I do these things when a woman shows defiance and attempts to control/manipulate things. I can do this because I don't FEAR losing them anyway. In fact, I might just dump them first if they get too annoying. Showing NO FEAR boosts a woman's interest level. But I lose respect for them the more I get away with. This is a good thing.

And MEN.. you really don't want to be with a woman you respect. It just turns you into a pedestalizing white knight.

This is the behavior women use to keep weak men in constant fear. You can use it to keep hot, sexy, but insecure women in constant fear. Someone must lead, and if you don't lead, she will control you with her trump cards.

Excellent post

 

[Magotrox]

Yep, but nothing new. All these ideas can be found in "The Book of Pook".

 

[nicksaiz65]

Yep, but nothing new. All these ideas can be found in "The Book of Pook".

The best resource on Sosuave in my opinion

 

[MatureDJ]

Most men having "relationship issues" are living in fear. This goes for both single men and taken men.

What do they fear? They fear the two female trump cards:
1. Loss of Sex
2. Rejection

The typical male viewpoint:
Loss of Sex = Man feels rejected, marginalized and emasculated
Rejection = The man "f*cked up" and lost something valuable

Rejection is merely not being able to get sex, so it is the same "vector" as loss of sex - with a bit of instinctual shame, since a man that gets rejected is looked upon by future sexual partners as even less worthier than someone who does get rejected but still has no success.

It's only in the retarded USA (and a few other areas) where access to professional sex partners are not available (or affordable) where this feeling gets realized. A man that afford a professional sex partner doesn't get all depressed from losing a legitimate sex partner; he simply starts paying for it in one way (i.e., direct cash) rather than in another way (i.e., putting up with all the BS from an amateur, etc.)

 

[Magotrox]

The best resource on Sosuave in my opinion

Indeed.

 

[glass half full]

It's my belief that women get tired of sex with the same man in a relationship quicker than men do with their women. I've heard that for years, and I believe it to be true with many women.

 

[AttackFormation]

It's my belief that women get tired of sex with the same man in a relationship quicker than men do with their women. I've heard that for years, and I believe it to be true with many women.

Same, or at least they become bored to such an extent they will stop sex almost altogether

Sounds like being in a relationship really fvcking sucks, haha..

 

[guru1000]

Same, or at least they become bored to such an extent they will stop sex almost altogether

Never experienced this. Why do you think?

 

[guru1000]

Neither have I

Good. I'd say for those where this does happen, they didn't understand the relation was over (frame) long before the sex dried up.

 

[sazc]

Idk, I've never gotten tired of sex, period.

What has hindered my sexual drive in a relationship is how the man is treating me, how he makes me feel emotionally.

If he's ignoring me, dismissing me/my feelings, etc, I'm not likely to feel attracted to him enough to want to sex him up.

Thing is, most men think 'treating her well' is materialistic, acts of service.
'treating her well' is actually dependent on how she feels about herself, you, and the relationship between you guys. That can include acts of service, but is also combined with emotions. And those dynamics, creating/maintaining how she feels, varies widely between each individual female. Again, no one algorithm.

good luck guys

 

[SoSuave666]

This is a wonderful thread here.

Idk, I've never gotten tired of sex, period.

What has hindered my sexual drive in a relationship is how the man is treating me, how he makes me feel emotionally.

If he's ignoring me, dismissing me/my feelings, etc, I'm not likely to feel attracted to him enough to want to sex him up.

Thing is, most men think 'treating her well' is materialistic, acts of service.
'treating her well' is actually dependent on how she feels about herself, you, and the relationship between you guys. That can include acts of service, but is also combined with emotions. And those dynamics, creating/maintaining how she feels, varies widely between each individual female. Again, no one algorithm.

good luck guys

A woman's emotions can change so easily. The direction of the wind, the moon cycle, time of day, celebrity breakups. To say that man is supposed to manage his own life/emotions/problems and then be responsible for your emotions is just too irresponsible of personal accountability.

The man can literally do nothing different on date 1 than he does on date 150, not a single change, and a woman is less likely to have sex with him on that 150th date. You attribute that to emotional state, I attribute it to which Kardashian broke up with which NBA player that day.

Or we could be more rational about it and say that over time, people naturally become less sexually attracted to each other. It requires more work to stay fresh and as sexually active as previous. Of course women will always attribute this to "the man just doesn't stimulate me anymore" or whatever her hamster decides places less blame on herself. It's just the natural order of things.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is a wonderful thread here.


A woman's emotions can change so easily. The direction of the wind, the moon cycle, time of day, celebrity breakups. To say that man is supposed to manage his own life/emotions/problems and then be responsible for your emotions is just too irresponsible of personal accountability.

The man can literally do nothing different on date 1 than he does on date 150, not a single change, and a woman is less likely to have sex with him on that 150th date. You attribute that to emotional state, I attribute it to which Kardashian broke up with which NBA player that day.

Or we could be more rational about it and say that over time, people naturally become less sexually attracted to each other. It requires more work to stay fresh and as sexually active as previous. Of course women will always attribute this to "the man just doesn't stimulate me anymore" or whatever her hamster decides places less blame on herself. It's just the natural order of things.

Ive had it get better year after year for 6 years. You have to stay busy and have outside passions. Dont overly use her for emotional support.

 

[sazc]

This is a wonderful thread here.


A woman's emotions can change so easily. The direction of the wind, the moon cycle, time of day, celebrity breakups. To say that man is supposed to manage his own life/emotions/problems and then be responsible for your emotions is just too irresponsible of personal accountability.

The man can literally do nothing different on date 1 than he does on date 150, not a single change, and a woman is less likely to have sex with him on that 150th date. You attribute that to emotional state, I attribute it to which Kardashian broke up with which NBA player that day.

Or we could be more rational about it and say that over time, people naturally become less sexually attracted to each other. It requires more work to stay fresh and as sexually active as previous. Of course women will always attribute this to "the man just doesn't stimulate me anymore" or whatever her hamster decides places less blame on herself. It's just the natural order of things.

The ONLY emotions a man or a woman needs to deal with, and be responsible for, are their own. If you really think you are responsible for any one else's emotions, emotional fluctuation, you need group therapy for your co dependent tendencies.

That said, if ur being a **** to the lady you are dating, she's gonna catch some emotions and feels from that action, and she will (most likely) react to those emotions and feels. Proceed any way you like with that piece of info, and define the phrase 'being a ****' however you want.

As usual, if you find yourself stuck in the same pattern, over and over, when it comes to relationships, you need to ask yourself what the common denominator is.