online dating/tinder/bumble/etc...

[taiyuu_otoko]

stop participating in this thread if you're not going to seriously respond to real questions

if you're over 30, your opinions are invalid. I'm looking for 25 year olds

BigDave's inner Froggy has awoken...

 

[sangheilios]

i talk to a lot of guys on bodybuilding.com who are good looking and in great shape who tell me they get nothing on dating sites


meanwhile women in great shape have a billion options

I haven't gone through this entire thread, but you seriously should not post on bodybuilding.com if you want to actually improve on this. That forum is filled with so many loser trolls it's not even funny, almost like they literally just play MMOs all day at 30.

The reality is though that online dating is going to come with a relatively low success rate and you'd be better off approaching women in the real world, something none of those trolls on bodybuilding.com actually do.

 

[spinich]

Seriously thinking of submitting an application for being a moderator just so I can end this misery known as Dave!

 

[sazc]

Seriously thinking of submitting an application for being a moderator just so I can end this misery known as Dave!

I already suggested it's time the thread be closed

 

[bigdave17]

Then find a forum full of 23 - 28 yr old women and ask for their advice. Better yet, send DMs to the Instagram models you follow and get their feedback. I mean they are the types you want so who better to get dating and grooming tips from then the women you want most to impress.

i obviously respect Amantes opinion, he's a very sharp guy

 

[bigdave17]

I haven't gone through this entire thread, but you seriously should not post on bodybuilding.com if you want to actually improve on this. That forum is filled with so many loser trolls it's not even funny, almost like they literally just play MMOs all day at 30.

The reality is though that online dating is going to come with a relatively low success rate and you'd be better off approaching women in the real world, something none of those trolls on bodybuilding.com actually do.

I love bodybuilding.com

great website

 

[spinich]

Maybe because you like men a bit more than women??

 

[bigdave17]

Maybe because you like men a bit more than women??

I respect male opinion on picking up women obviously

 

[AJ84]

i obviously respect Amantes opinion, he's a very sharp guy

Yes he is, but he can’t save you from yourself Dave. Only you can do that.

 

[zekko]

1)I live in suburbs and hate living in Chicago, so I'm around older people and families a lot. I only see women my age at gyms, malls and bars... all of which have a very high difficulty curve. I can't live in city - I like my big house, garage, safe neighborhood, etc... I can't live in apartment in city.
<snip>
I hate cold approaching and I don't meet anything quality through social circle. I've had a bunch of women interested in me through social circle but its all garbage, none of them are anywhere near my type.

Sounds like you're in a rut. You need to get out of it. Only you can say how best to do that.

 

[sazc]

Getting to know you ... Getting to know all about yoooouuuuu

How much more vague can you be?
This is "my adopted son is black" man.

 

[sazc]

I dont comply but so many women provider-zone these guys from the outset so when they try to show a little flair they get smacked back down verbally into the provider zone. I see basically a broken man based on operant conditioning.

Yeah, I'm getting the vibe that he's trying to figure out if I am a Nigerian/fake profile.

Thing is, I don't have the energy to draw people like these out. It's painful, and typically wasted investment, to try to get them to open up/figure out if there's a connection.

Whatevs

 

[guru1000]

@sazc, you are coming across extremely aggressive in your convos. You need to ease back and take a more feminine, passive role and allow the guy to lead. You are going to lose top men otherwise. Hence, why you are left with leftovers.

@bigdave17 listen up buddy, and don't argue as I won't likely respond. I'm going to tell you straight.

Your pics suck. You are judged by your worst pic, not your best. So if you post three pics attractiveness rated 6, 7, 7.5, you are judged as a 6. Even worse, top men know that OLD success is based on pics, so successful OLD men are taking hundreds of photos, using the best ones, checking their results, and then updating their photos for stronger results. This is a business. Rinse. Repeat. In other words, for the women you seek, you are competing with men with attractiveness scores north of 90-percentile ... leaving you, well ... non-existent.

Now that you understand the attraction part of your problem, hire a pro and get better pics.

Let me explain how the numbers work on Bumble if have top tier pics at 99+ percentile. Your matches are aligned with your Bumble elo score. Bumble designates you a score called elo based on who you swipe for and who swipes on you. So if you are top tier in looks, you will align with top tier women.

So let's take a Guru1000, who will swipe for 10 minutes and get roughly 20 matches. Out of the 20, 45% or approximately 9 girls will initiate. Out of 9, approx 2 will convert to insta-dates. Out of 2-3 insta-dates, Guru will capitalize one lay, as most girls in person don't look like their pics. So that means if you are a top tier guy looking to lay a 7-9 in the 21-28 yo range, you are going through approx 20-30 matches to lay one 7-9. And this is if you are extremely picky and a top tier guy. If you are not a top tier guy, then you will need more matches. If you are not extremely picky, then you will need less matches.

As your pics are now, you will very seldom land a 7-9 with the other standards you seek. So just stop. Your current pics leave you in the "nobody category." You are nothing (as you are). So either increase your pics' attractiveness or pursue average women.

There is nothing left to discuss.

 

[sazc]

@sazc, you are coming across extremely aggressive in your convos. You need to ease back and take a more feminine, passive role and allow the guy to lead. You are going to lose top men otherwise. Hence, why you are left with leftovers.

@bigdave17 listen up buddy, and don't argue as I won't likely respond. I'm going to tell you straight.

Your pics suck. You are judged by your worst pic, not your best. So if you post three pics attractiveness rated 6, 7, 7.5, you are judged as a 6. Even worse, top men know that OLD success is based on pics, so successful OLD men are taking hundreds of photos, using the best ones, checking their results, and then updating their photos for stronger results. This is a business. Rinse. Repeat. In other words, for the women you seek, you are competing with men with attractiveness scores north of 90-percentile ... leaving you, well ... non-existent.

Now that you understand the attraction part of your problem, hire a pro and get better pics.

Let me explain how the numbers work on Bumble if have top tier pics at 99+ percentile. Your matches are aligned with your Bumble elo score. Bumble designates you a score called elo based on who you swipe for and who swipes on you. So if you are top tier in looks, you will align with top tier women.

So let's take a Guru1000, who will swipe for 10 minutes and get roughly 20 matches. Out of the 20, 45% or approximately 9 girls will initiate. Out of 9, approx 2 will convert to insta-dates. Out of 2-3 insta-dates, Guru will capitalize one lay, as most girls in person don't look like their pics. So that means if you are a top tier guy looking to lay a 7-9 in the 21-28 yo range, you are going through approx 20-30 matches to lay one 7-9. And this is if you are extremely picky and a top tier guy. If you are not a top tier guy, then you will need more matches. If you are not extremely picky, then you will need less matches.

As your pics are now, you will very seldom land a 7-9 with the other standards you seek. So just stop. Your current pics leave you in the "nobody category." You are nothing (as you are). So either increase your pics' attractiveness or pursue average women.

There is nothing left to discuss.

@guru1000 actually, that's the biggest part of my frustration, the men don't lead.

Oh how I long for the golden conversation where's it's a legitimate back and forth, or, even better, he's driving. I'd say 1% of my conversations online are him leading, 5% are quality back and forth, and the rest are like pulling teeth to get content, and further struggle to get quality.

If being aggressive is asking questions, sometimes I have no choice but to lead the conversation for a bit to see if he will engage

 

[sazc]

PM me I have an idea

Thanks for the offer but this one is dead, no point in summoning the circus clowns to see if life can be breathed into it.....

 

[sazc]

@guru1000 the conversations run the gamut as far as dry to fun. At this point I realize that it takes 2 to tango. I vibe off the guys energy, and I'm sure, vice versa.

If I get substance, I can give substance and I do try. In order to get to fun and flirty, you need tangible information to play with/off of.

TBH this guy still isn't giving me much..... Most of them don't.

 

[longtail]

@guru1000 the conversations run the gamut as far as dry to fun. At this point I realize that it takes 2 to tango. I vibe off the guys energy, and I'm sure, vice versa.

If I get substance, I can give substance and I do try. In order to get to fun and flirty, you need tangible information to play with/off of.

TBH this guy still isn't giving me much..... Most of them don't.

He's not that attracted to you. Which suggests you aren't that attractive. You are the female bigdave17.

 

[sazc]

He's not that attracted to you. Which suggests you aren't that attractive. You are the female bigdave17.

Based on the lack of content we've exchanged, if he's not attracted to me, and that's why he's not engaging much, then he's looking for an easy female, which I am not.

It's far too easy, as a female online, to head in with a heavy flirting hand, and reel guys in. To play to them by appealing to the promise/whispered promise of promiscuity. Foolproof, too easy.

I need cognitive engagement to partner with the potential d1ck.

That's the difference btwn me and Dave. I'm not all judgy on myself about OLD. This sh1t doesn't shake me

 

[bigdave17]

@sazc, you are coming across extremely aggressive in your convos. You need to ease back and take a more feminine, passive role and allow the guy to lead. You are going to lose top men otherwise. Hence, why you are left with leftovers.

@bigdave17 listen up buddy, and don't argue as I won't likely respond. I'm going to tell you straight.

Your pics suck. You are judged by your worst pic, not your best. So if you post three pics attractiveness rated 6, 7, 7.5, you are judged as a 6. Even worse, top men know that OLD success is based on pics, so successful OLD men are taking hundreds of photos, using the best ones, checking their results, and then updating their photos for stronger results. This is a business. Rinse. Repeat. In other words, for the women you seek, you are competing with men with attractiveness scores north of 90-percentile ... leaving you, well ... non-existent.

Now that you understand the attraction part of your problem, hire a pro and get better pics.

Let me explain how the numbers work on Bumble if have top tier pics at 99+ percentile. Your matches are aligned with your Bumble elo score. Bumble designates you a score called elo based on who you swipe for and who swipes on you. So if you are top tier in looks, you will align with top tier women.

So let's take a Guru1000, who will swipe for 10 minutes and get roughly 20 matches. Out of the 20, 45% or approximately 9 girls will initiate. Out of 9, approx 2 will convert to insta-dates. Out of 2-3 insta-dates, Guru will capitalize one lay, as most girls in person don't look like their pics. So that means if you are a top tier guy looking to lay a 7-9 in the 21-28 yo range, you are going through approx 20-30 matches to lay one 7-9. And this is if you are extremely picky and a top tier guy. If you are not a top tier guy, then you will need more matches. If you are not extremely picky, then you will need less matches.

As your pics are now, you will very seldom land a 7-9 with the other standards you seek. So just stop. Your current pics leave you in the "nobody category." You are nothing (as you are). So either increase your pics' attractiveness or pursue average women.

There is nothing left to discuss.

I suspected a lot of this


I need to get very very lean and have a professional photographer take some great pics of me. The importance of the leanness is that it gives my face a very chiseled angular look


I don't know if I'll ever get much higher than maybe a 80-90% on photofeeler. I'm not quite as handsome as you are unfortunately

 

[bigdave17]

No. You didn’t.

I suspected that looks are hugely important

I doubted that I could ever get myself up above maybe 85% range on PF and I'm sure I would be the one exception to have pics that range that high and still get zero quality women interested in me. I'm practically doomed to be single forever.