online dating/tinder/bumble/etc...

[taiyuu_otoko]

Dude I've spend nearly 3 whole days messaging women online and it's gotten me nowhere

You sound a like a 500 lb fat guy who's been jogging for a WHOLE WEEK and is mad he doesn't have a six pack yet.

 

[bigdave17]

You sound a like a 500 lb fat guy who's been jogging for a WHOLE WEEK and is mad he doesn't have a six pack yet.

You guys love to justify how absurdly one sided dating is with all kinds of ridiculous analogies.

The female version of me (7 to 7.5 face with a 9 body) gets worshiped by the male gender both online and in person meanwhile the only options i get are fat chicks, single moms and average looking women with mediocre bodies... but yea dating is totally even.

Amante, ask these chicks how many borderline male models message them weekly. I bet you the number is 10-20. I can't even get a legit 7/10 to be interested in me

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You guys love to justify how absurdly one sided dating is with all kinds of ridiculous analogies.

Just a head's up, whining about how hard life is isn't generally a trait women find attractive in men.

Conversely, guys who realize it's not easy but get in there any way and do their best tend to be more attractive, all else equal.

 

[sazc]

I don't have to. Some have gotten messages from actual male models. Some get messages from men who live in mini-mansions. I know one woman who got a message from a guy who works for NASA.

None of those men got the date, Dave, despite looks, money or title. Why? Because:

1) Not all women are immediately sold on just looks or just money
2) These men either didn't know how to handle themselves with women, or came off as entirely playa and untrustworthy. They all displayed some type of flaw in persona, behavior, etc.
3) Many of these women had already dated men solely on looks, money, title and other factors, and they found it wasn't all peachy pleasantries. They know the darker side and the trade offs involved.

You make a lot of assumptions, Dave.

You assume it is so easy for them mostly because of how hard it is for you....

I don't believe that it's any harder for Dave. I think he's probably closer to the " norm " in terms of dating difficulty.

I think he's just assuming it's easier for others so he can cry, whine and baby b1tch about it, suck his thumb and hunt for reassuring pats on the back, since he's such a victim.

After all, if it's easier for all of them, and, unlike him, they are less than average narcissists - then he MUST be a victim of some unexplainable phenomenon

*Poof* not his fault

 

[bigdave17]

I don't believe that it's any harder for Dave. I think he's probably closer to the " norm " in terms of dating difficulty.

I think he's just assuming it's easier for others so he can cry, whine and baby b1tch about it, suck his thumb and hunt for reassuring pats on the back, since he's such a victim.

After all, if it's easier for all of them, and, unlike him, they are less than average narcissists - then he MUST be a victim of some unexplainable phenomenon

*Poof* not his fault

there's a few variables to this


1)I live in suburbs and hate living in Chicago, so I'm around older people and families a lot. I only see women my age at gyms, malls and bars... all of which have a very high difficulty curve. I can't live in city - I like my big house, garage, safe neighborhood, etc... I can't live in apartment in city.

2)I have a somewhat specific taste. I like dark features, curvy body type- in addition to the normal compatibility requirements that everyone else has.

3)I don't look as good in pics as in real life

4)I hate cold approaching as I never know what the hell to say


So i don't know what my answer is. It seems like the only men who get any interest on dating sites from anybody quality are in legit 8.5 to 10 range. I did everything as amante told me in terms of my profile and messages and I'm getting nothing

I hate cold approaching and I don't meet anything quality through social circle. I've had a bunch of women interested in me through social circle but its all garbage, none of them are anywhere near my type.

 

[sazc]

there's a few variables to this


1)I live in suburbs and hate living in Chicago, so I'm around older people and families a lot. I only see women my age at gyms, malls and bars... all of which have a very high difficulty curve. I can't live in city - I like my big house, garage, safe neighborhood, etc... I can't live in apartment in city.

2)I have a somewhat specific taste. I like dark features, curvy body type- in addition to the normal compatibility requirements that everyone else has.

3)I don't look as good in pics as in real life

4)I hate cold approaching as I never know what the hell to say


So i don't know what my answer is. It seems like the only men who get any interest on dating sites from anybody quality are in legit 8.5 to 10 range. I did everything as amante told me in terms of my profile and messages and I'm getting nothing

I hate cold approaching and I don't meet anything quality through social circle. I've had a bunch of women interested in me through social circle but its all garbage, none of them are anywhere near my type.

As usual, wrong wrong wrong

 

[bigdave17]

I think it is harder for Dave because he makes it harder.

He has 7.5-8 looks (with the body of a 9, don't forget), who is also successful and charming and loved... and so he expects to play the field as if he is an 8.5+ type of guy.

But in reality he is a 7, with no game, is afraid to approach women and is rife with desperation.... which is why he gets the results he gets.

Dave cannot make sense of his results because he doesn't know what league he's really in, no less how to play it and what to improve specifically to move up.

I think he can do much better than this, but it will never happen. A level of revelation and humility is needed to identify true issues, address them and to start making true progress. He resists that at all costs.

I would agree borderline 7 on face (keep in mind I'm better looking in real life) but I'm in excellent shape - I have that ideal beach body now. It's interesting how different male and female ratings go.

With men, if you have a 7 face with 10 body, you're still a 7. With women, a 6 face with 10 body is pretty much a celebrity - can be a near 10/10

I would agree on afraid to approach- I just dunno wtf to say. I would agree on desperation in past but that won't happen again. I'm never going to force it to happen again. Either it will happen naturally by itself or it won't

 

[bigdave17]

As usual, wrong wrong wrong

which part is wrong. Elaborate please

aren't you old? keep in mind I'm going after 23 to 28 year olds. Of course women above 30 are not as picky but that's irrelevant for me

I'm doing everything as amante told me to do with OLD (in terms of messages and profile) and getting absolutely nothing. I need to be in 9-10/10 range and I'm just not that attractive unfortunately.

 

[bigdave17]

No Dave, you did a couple of things I told you to do... and then erased the intended benefits by going rogue with your own ideas.

I told you to get the right pics first. You didn't do that. You picked a few and rolled right into OLD with less than ideal pics.

I gave you some material to toss into your ad, but all of the excessive messaging you did squashed whatever perception those words created.

I told you to post and bail. Check in daily. You went on a messaging rampage instead.

You actually did very little of what I told you to do, and just like you claim it is the fault of women when you fail, you now want to claim my advice has been ineffective.

my ad is almost exactly the same as your ad, maybe 2 words changed

I would have received nothing if i didn't go on messaging spree. I've had lots of women view my profile and not message me. Nobody has messaged me.

my pics were rated as a 7 to 7.6 for attractiveness on photofeeler. I don't know if I can get much higher than that. I'm not a 9 or a 10/10. On a good day now, with how lean i am, I'm maybe a 7.5 to 8 in the face

if I get pics that are rated in the 9 range, MAYBE it changes something but i doubt it

 

[sazc]

my ad is almost exactly the same as your ad, maybe 2 words changed

I would have received nothing if i didn't go on messaging spree. I've had lots of women view my profile and not message me

my pics were rated as a 7 to 7.6 for attractiveness on photofeeler. I don't know if I can get much higher than that. I'm not a 9 or a 10/10. On a good day now, with how lean i am, I'm maybe a 7.5 to 8 in the face

if I get pics that are rated in the 9 range, MAYBE it changes something but i doubt it

Still your fault @Amante Silvestre
Smh

 

[bigdave17]

Still your fault @Amante Silvestre
Smh

how is that his fault?

If i have same ad as his and nobody of any real quality is interested, then I'm just not good looking enough. I figured you have to be a 9 to 10 to be good enough for OLD

 

[bigdave17]

I said work on the right pics first. That takes time. It took me hundreds of photos to finally get a few that rated higher than the rest. I've actually ran pics that were nearly identical, but rated 10%+ different just because of a facial expression or a smile.

Had you done this first, your ad likely wouldn't even be up yet.



You had to go on a messaging spree because you posted subpar pics.



Lol. I'm not a 10 either Dave.

Once again, I told you there is a lot more going on with pictures than just your looks. A certain facial expression, a certain smirk or smile. These all convey things on their own. A higher rating on Photofeeler would have given you a clue as to which pics convey these intangible things outside of looks alone. You cannot be the judge of that, Dave. You have to get the feedback from others.

You just chose pictures YOU think are good. Not pics WOMEN think are good.



That is not for you to decide.



Because you've never done it.

I've done it.

but a 7.5 for attractiveness is still solid

you're saying if i got pics in 9 range, somehow everything radically changes?

 

[sazc]

His replies all start with/contain "but"

Meaning "forget everything you just said, im going to disregard all that because here's how I see that it is"

 

[bigdave17]

His replies all start with/contain "but"

Meaning "forget everything you just said, im going to disregard all that because here's how I see that it is"

you did not reply to what I said. Reply to this

which part is wrong. Elaborate please

aren't you old? keep in mind I'm going after 23 to 28 year olds. Of course women above 30 are not as picky but that's irrelevant for me

I'm doing everything as amante told me to do with OLD (in terms of messages and profile) and getting absolutely nothing. I need to be in 9-10/10 range and I'm just not that attractive unfortunately.

 

[sazc]

you did not reply to what I said. Reply to this

which part is wrong. Elaborate please

aren't you old? keep in mind I'm going after 23 to 28 year olds. Of course women above 30 are not as picky but that's irrelevant for me

I'm doing everything as amante told me to do with OLD (in terms of messages and profile) and getting absolutely nothing. I need to be in 9-10/10 range and I'm just not that attractive unfortunately.

You do not compel me to reply to you. I pick and choose what I want to say, when I want to say it.

You are pathetic

 

[bigdave17]

It is not compelling, Dave.



Radical change? No.

But the dynamics change.

Right now those messages you're sending out are your very first line of presentation. My words are rendered ineffective because they aren't the first words read. They are reading your words instead.

With subpar pics, you have to have a silver fvcking tongue or an exception level of humor/wit. etc to get a woman interested in you when you approach it in this way, if they even read your message at all. You do not have a silver tongue, Dave.

But when you have pics that a woman wants to click on when she sees, then she reads something that makes her smile/laugh.... well then.... she is more likely going to initiate.

Chasing women who don't even know you exist vs. responding to women interested in initiating things with you are two completely different things.

Your own head prevents you from achieving the latter.

I agree with most of what you're saying. I'm not funny or witty. My strong likability in terms of making friends in real life is all based on me being a genuinely very good person

I just have a hard time believing that those pics make such a big difference but i will try, i will get new pics done

 

[bigdave17]

You do not compel me to reply to you. I pick and choose what I want to say, when I want to say it.

You are pathetic

stop participating in this thread if you're not going to seriously respond to real questions

if you're over 30, your opinions are invalid. I'm looking for 25 year olds

 

[sazc]

stop participating in this thread if you're not going to seriously respond to real questions

if you're over 30, your opinions are invalid. I'm looking for 25 year olds

Umm, again, you don't compel me to contribute or not. I'll do what I want.

 

[HankHill]

What more proof do you need than your OWN experience that those 25yos don't want you? lol

I recommend you try a 3 or a 4 60+yo Armenian woman; she'll look as good as a 20yo and she'll coddle and feed you milk in her lap like a little mini-me man-child whenever you get into your tantrum throwing moods about why the world is so unfair to your highness.

 

[AJ84]

stop participating in this thread if you're not going to seriously respond to real questions

if you're over 30, your opinions are invalid. I'm looking for 25 year olds

Then find a forum full of 23 - 28 yr old women and ask for their advice. Better yet, send DMs to the Instagram models you follow and get their feedback. I mean they are the types you want so who better to get dating and grooming tips from then the women you want most to impress.