2nd time gf needs space

[Mazer]

Would no contact really make her come.crawling back? Lol

Only if the interest is still there and her new boy toy is messing up.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

Only if the interest is still there and her new boy toy is messing up.

Im going no contact and I'm just gonna downgrade her to a booty call lol

 

[resilient]

Only if the interest is still there and her new boy toy is messing up.

Exactly. If the new guy is acing attraction and frame, she'll keep chasing his validation or push for exclusivity. Once he gets comfy, complacent, loses value, gets out of shape or seizes satisfying her emotional and physical needs, she'll return to the hunt.

If she's active with OLD & social media, she'll likely feel out those options first.

I've never really been hovered by ex's to comment on their aggressive return post NC...

I do have an ex that DMs me often by viewing my stories in Instagram, she won't text though. Conveying value gets their curiosity juices flowing, yet they need visuals to confirm that via 3rd party social media apps (facebook, instagram, snap...) she's connected to you on to snoop and see what you're up to.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

You should move on. You should also take the high road and after 2 full days send her "This isnt working and I am going a different direction. I just wanted you to know so you dont waste time texting and calling me. I have made my mind up and its firm. Take care".

You need to send her mind into fvcking orbit before you completely bail. This text does that.

You also need to be aware that she will keep trying to reach out. A simple "Sorry, no longer interested in you. I am going to start seeing other people. Please move on. Bye" is in order.

You wont hear from her for a few days, or even a week, but she WILL come back stronger than ever. Just dont buy into it because as SOON as you agree to try to work it out, you've already lost. When she makes her final charge, simply do not respond back. Just keep moving on.

That is the important thing about maintaining a strong frame. You cant maintain what you didnt start out with. You have to start every relationship with a strong frame. That doesnt mean being a jerk, it simply means that you have high standards for the way that you allow people to treat you. I treat people well and expect the same in return. If they dont, I give them no warnings as I am not required to. I just move on along.

That is frame. You can start hitting up and seeing new chicks. Make sure that you hold yourself and how you want to be treated high. Walk away from disrespect.

Once you lose frame with a chick you are never going to get it back with that chick.

I'm gonna go with the no contact and just use her as a booty call. If she wants to act like a sloot I'm gonna treat her like one lol

 

[Chi Town]

Would no contact really make her come.crawling back? Lol

Only cause she wants your validation but that's all.....you messed up somewhere in the relationship, don't get me wrong, sometimes girls do just lose interest over time and it has nothing to do with you but most of the time I can guarantee something happened with your behavior and interactions with her.

We would need to know a little more details to give you a good answer, it's very important that you know exactly where you went wrong because you will continue to run into the same issues with the next girl, and every other one after that, handle the root problem.

If you need more detail, let me know.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

Only cause she wants your validation but that's all.....you messed up somewhere in the relationship, don't get me wrong, sometimes girls do just lose interest over time and it has nothing to do with you but most of the time I can guarantee something happened with your behavior and interactions with her.

We would need to know a little more details to give you a good answer, it's very important that you know exactly where you went wrong because you will continue to run into the same issues with the next girl, and every other one after that, handle the root problem.

If you need more detail, let me know.

She will be back lol.. And when I go see her and stay the night I'm gonna bang her and leave lol

 

[Chi Town]

I'm gonna go with the no contact and just use her as a booty call. If she wants to act like a sloot I'm gonna treat her like one lol

Honestly, your just using that as a excuse to keep her in your life, it's much easier for you then just completely kicking her out of your life for good, I know because I been there when I was much younger.

Also, your way to emotionally invested in her to be able to use her for a "booty call"

You said yourself "we are very much in love"
That's not something that just goes away overnight. Be honest with yourself.

If you truly was done with her you wouldn't try to keep her as a booty call, think about it, why would you need to do that if you could just meet another girl for a booty call and get rid of her?

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

Honestly, your just using that as a excuse to keep her in your life, it's much easier for you then just completely kicking her out of your life for good, I know because I been there when I was much younger.

Also, your way to emotionally invested in her to be able to use her for a "booty call"

You said yourself "we are very much in love"
That's not something that just goes away overnight. Be honest with yourself.

If you truly was done with her you wouldn't try to keep her as a booty call, think about it, why would you need to do that if you could just meet another girl for a booty call and get rid of her?

I'm being serious lol I feel emotionally empty now since I've gathered she is doing the dirty behind my back I'm just gonna **** her and leave lol. I'll let yous know how it goes

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

@Chi Town is it normal that I'm slowly starting to not love her now after she's been doing this?

 

[Chi Town]

@Chi Town is it normal that I'm slowly starting to not love her now after she's been doing this?

Your angry and bitter right now, which is the first phase.

Your feeling the need to get back at her because you feel played and you want to retaliate which is completely understandable due to your current situation.

You still love her, that won't change right away but trust me when I tell you, you won't be doing yourself any favors by keeping her around for a booty call but do what you feel is best for you, at the end of the day this is all a learning experience.

Regardless of what you decide to do, go meet other girls.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

Your angry and bitter right now, which is the first phase.

Your feeling the need to get back at her because you feel played and you want to retaliate which is completely understandable due to your current situation.

You still love her, that won't change right away but trust me when I tell you, you won't be doing yourself any favors by keeping her around for a booty call but do what you feel is best for you, at the end of the day this is all a learning experience.

Regardless of what you decide to do, go meet other girls.

@Chi Town ok so she would still love me aswel Then? Even though I'm losing feelings for her?

 

[Chi Town]

@Chi Town ok so she would still love me aswel Then? Even though I'm losing feelings for her?

If anything, she's emotionally attached to you but that's not the same as being in love with someone, once attraction and respect is lost, love goes right along with it.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

If anything, she's emotionally attached to you but that's not the same as being in love with someone, once attraction and respect is lost, love goes right along with it.

@Chi Town So that's why she is keeping me around because of the emotional connection? She told me she doesn't ever want to lose the emotional connection with me

 

[Chi Town]

So that's why she is keeping me around because of the emotional connection? She told me she doesn't ever want to lose the emotional connection with me

There you go......emotional connection mixed with attraction and sexual desire is where you want to be.

A emotional connection without the attraction and sexual desire then your in the territory of being strung along and used for validation/attention ECT.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

@Chi Town ok you know your stuff. Just say I wanted to get back with her. The emotional connection is there. How do I get the attraction and love back up. There must be a way? NC perhaps?

 

[Billtx49]

@Chi Town ok you know your stuff. Just say I wanted to get back with her. The emotional connection is there. How do I get the attraction and love back up. There must be a way? NC perhaps?

You’re trying to fish in a dry hole. The only existing connection is in your own mind…

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

There's no way. She's using you, she is a user.

C'mon there has to be a way

 

[Mazer]

I'm gonna go with the no contact and just use her as a booty call. If she wants to act like a sloot I'm gonna treat her like one lol

You’re feelings are too strong towards this girl, booty call wont work so soon. That’s your ego talking. You will be telling her you love her and buying her roses after one sex session with her. I want you to sit there, close your eyes and imagine her getting railed by two new dudes that are better looking than you. You need this image in your head or else you will never move on.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

Ok guys I've made up my mind. When she messages me I'm gonna tell her. I do love her but I'm not sure how I feel about us right now so I just need some space and time to think

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Once you lose frame with a chick you are never going to get it back with that chick.

So true. Most of us have tried at several points in our lives. It never works. It's hard to accept. But it's very true.