2nd time gf needs space

lamath

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You got some real good advice in this thread.

Personaly id go with Chi strategy, but like LA said lots of red flag there.
 

Mazer

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She doesn’t respect you anymore so this relationship is done. You lost frame, sounds like you never had it to begin with.
 

051AV

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It sounds like you were not so alpha after all lol
 

niceguytoalphamale

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She doesn’t respect you anymore so this relationship is done. You lost frame, sounds like you never had it to begin with.
Well she still calls me to say I love you and goodnight I mustbe doing something right lol.. let's see how it pans out before we cast any predictions eh?
 

Dr.Suave

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I'm giving her plenty of space. She was molested when she was little girl so maybe emotional issues.
Find an un traumataized girl. She´ll still be crazy though.
 

resilient

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Suffice to say if she does shape up, need less space, what is to say that she won’t push you away again when she goes through another rollercoaster in life? Partners should be accountable and dependable to help each other grow.

You mentioned the part about molestation so that tells me she will always have emotional and physical intimacy issues (regardless of the partner she is with) until she seeks professional help and heals.

I would still walk for your own time and self-respect, yet that is your call.
 

logicallefty

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Well she still calls me to say I love you and goodnight
^This is one of the toughest scenarios to understand that women put men through when we haven't been subjected to this behavior multiple times, but one of the easiest scenarios to understand once we have. She still calls you to say "I love you" and "goodnight" because she still needs your attention and validation. Things are likely not where she wants them to be with any other men yet. Once they are, the "I love yous" and "goodnights" to you will stop. Then the new guy will be her primary focus and be getting them, and getting the pvssy. But even at that time, she will very very likely try to still keep you around as an orbiter and string you along for as long as you will put up with it, but without the "I love yous" and "goodnights". Women will always take you as one of their orbiters, even when they claim to be "happily married".
 

resilient

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She still calls you to say "I love you" and "goodnight" because she still needs your attention and validation. Things are likely not where she wants them to be with any other men yet. Once they are, the "I love yous" and "goodnights" to you will stop. Then the new guy will be her primary focus and be getting them, and getting the pvssy. But even at that time, she will very very likely try to still keep you around as an orbiter and string you along for as long as you will put up with it, but without the "I love yous" and "goodnights". Women will always take you as one of their orbiters, even when they claim to be "happily married".
So much this.

Flirting drop off and infrequent texting times, excuses, difficult scheduling dates, flaking are other reasons (I.e. a guy with higher perceived LMS hit her up for the same night you two were supposed to hang).

I experienced this big time with my last ex-main plate this fall when she was withdrawing, becoming less physical on dates, and even suggested we should stop seeing each other. I stopped the “goodnight” texts and initiate less texting to rebuild attraction with desire... it didn’t work. I was already too late. Another fox was in the hen house.

You would be shocked at how attraction can go from hot to luke-warm to ice cold when she finds a better catch.
 

MrJack

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I don't think she's done she still wants me around. She would leave if that was case like her other boyfriends. P.s she said last time if we ever broke up she would keep me around for her own selfish needs because she doesn't want to lose the emotional connection
There you have it right there. She literally told you she would do this if you ever broke up.

The funny part about that?

She worded it as if all along she would be the one breaking up with you in the end (HA!). Obviously she can’t keep you around selfishly if YOU broke up and cut contact with her right? Kinda reveals her mentality right there.

When a woman says she needs space like that, that means she is either currently working on mentally checking out on you for a new guy or she already has.

Since you have already established a strong emotional connection with her (at least at some point you did) it’s taking her some time to get rid of it so she’s stringing you along and doing exactly what she said she would.

You’re being played. Break up with her first before she officially does because trust me.. there’s another guy involved. She wouldn’t do this without having a Chad or 3 lined up and ready to go whether it be for a quick fvck or new relationship.

I would tell her something along the lines of look... little awkward being with someone who needs space and doesn’t know what she wants. To me, that’s unacceptable in a relationship and I think we should part ways.

She will either reply back defensively and agree with you out of anger by turning it all on you or she will cry and moan and plead until she’s had enough (although with enough immediate no contact she will come crawling back most likely).

Either way she claims role of victim.
 

niceguytoalphamale

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There you have it right there. She literally told you she would do this if you ever broke up.

The funny part about that?

She worded it as if all along she would be the one breaking up with you in the end (HA!). Obviously she can’t keep you around selfishly if YOU broke up and cut contact with her right? Kinda reveals her mentality right there.

When a woman says she needs space like that, that means she is either currently working on mentally checking out on you for a new guy or she already has.

Since you have already established a strong emotional connection with her (at least at some point you did) it’s taking her some time to get rid of it so she’s stringing you along and doing exactly what she said she would.

You’re being played. Break up with her first before she officially does because trust me.. there’s another guy involved. She wouldn’t do this without having a Chad or 3 lined up and ready to go whether it be for a quick fvck or new relationship.

I would tell her something along the lines of look... little awkward being with someone who needs space and doesn’t know what she wants. To me, that’s unacceptable in a relationship and I think we should part ways.

She will either reply back defensively and agree with you out of anger by turning it all on you or she will cry and moan and plead until she’s had enough (although with enough immediate no contact she will come crawling back most likely).

Either way she claims role of victim.
Would no contact really make her come.crawling back? Lol
 

Glassguy

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@niceguytoalphamale

I have read through the responses that you were given on here. I want to give you my take.
Some say she might be emotionally screwed up. Maybe she is. Some say she might be cheating. Maybe she is.

If it were me in your shoes, none of that would be relevant without knowing for certain. So I want to break this down a little because there is only one thing that you are in total control over. YOU.

You didnt come here to praise your gf for treating you so well. You came here because her actions are not lining up with how you want to be treated.

If you have read any of my in depth posts you will notice that I am very high on self worth, self esteem and holding frame.

Her actions of being hot and cold, leading you on and then shutting you off, etc. are all signs of disrespect.

Your choice is simple:

1.) If you do ANYTHING to try and work it out: She has shown you who she is and it doesnt matter why she is acting this way. She is acting this way nonetheless. Its now a pattern with her. You even trying to talk to her about this is losing frame and she again has the upper hand. So if you do anything to try and make it work, you are telling her (and yourself) that her actions of blatant disrespect are OK. Its acceptable to treat you this way. Up until now, you have allowed it so that is what you have told her. Thus she hasnt changed.

2.) Stand up for yourself: you are the only person that you can control. Walk away from her. Do not give her the ability to explain herself. Her actions have already spoken louder than her words ever will. Do not talk to her about it. Do not entertain her anymore. Why would you want to ever invest time and energy into such a person? There are a billion women on this planet. There is no time spent in my precious life entertaining such bullshyte from ONE of them.

Now with my game, ability to hustle up a few new plates, high self value and self esteem, I am #2 all the way. I would have been long gone already.

This is what I would do........and I have done before though not to THIS degree of disrespect.

Do not message her for 2 days. If she texts you, do not respond. If she calls, you do not answer. NO Contact.

After 2 days, send her this message:

"Sorry, I have been busy. We will never work out and I have started my search for other people that I am more compatible with. Best of luck and take care".

After that, DO NOT respond to her. Erase her off social media. Block her from your phone. Get your mojo back, get in the gym, get on your purpose and start dating other women. She will BEG to get together and talk. You will simply respond with "Sorry, no longer interested. Please move on"

In order to be a successful person in life you first half to be not only motivated to achieve what you want but you also have to have high self value. There is a reason that its called SELF value. The value is yours to determine. You will never date someone who looks good and treats you right if you are wasting your time being juggled back and forth with a bimbo like this.

Most posters will agree with me. Many on here have been through a similar situation to yours and now know to never entertain a woman that CHOOSES to string you along or act disrespectful.

Let me leave you with this:

Any man that is good with women and has abundance will drop a chick in a split second for being disrespectful. Only someone who fails to improve themselves and thinks this ONE woman is the best they will ever get (scarcity mindset) would stay with someone that acted as she is.

Any man or woman that acts disrespectful, intentionally strings someone else along, etc., knows it. Nobody has to tell them as to how they are acting. This is why I would always choose to NEVER sit a woman down and TALK about it.

Being disrespectful? Poof I am gone. Want to flirt with someone else while out with me? Poof I am gone. Want to call me out on something in front of other people? You wont even be able to finish your drink before Poof.....I'm gone.

Your actions will tell people how you expect to be treated, not your words.

Now tell this bytch "deuces" and move on.
 

Glassguy

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Would no contact really make her come.crawling back? Lol
When you typed this, it tells me that YOU are the problem.

The question you need to be asking yourself is "Why would I ever allow this toxic space of a person to ever be in my life".

Until you develop that mentality, you're truly fvcked.
 

niceguytoalphamale

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@niceguytoalphamale

I have read through the responses that you were given on here. I want to give you my take.
Some say she might be emotionally screwed up. Maybe she is. Some say she might be cheating. Maybe she is.

If it were me in your shoes, none of that would be relevant without knowing for certain. So I want to break this down a little because there is only one thing that you are in total control over. YOU.

You didnt come here to praise your gf for treating you so well. You came here because her actions are not lining up with how you want to be treated.

If you have read any of my in depth posts you will notice that I am very high on self worth, self esteem and holding frame.

Her actions of being hot and cold, leading you on and then shutting you off, etc. are all signs of disrespect.

Your choice is simple:

1.) If you do ANYTHING to try and work it out: She has shown you who she is and it doesnt matter why she is acting this way. She is acting this way nonetheless. Its now a pattern with her. You even trying to talk to her about this is losing frame and she again has the upper hand. So if you do anything to try and make it work, you are telling her (and yourself) that her actions of blatant disrespect are OK. Its acceptable to treat you this way. Up until now, you have allowed it so that is what you have told her. Thus she hasnt changed.

2.) Stand up for yourself: you are the only person that you can control. Walk away from her. Do not give her the ability to explain herself. Her actions have already spoken louder than her words ever will. Do not talk to her about it. Do not entertain her anymore. Why would you want to ever invest time and energy into such a person? There are a billion women on this planet. There is no time spent in my precious life entertaining such bullshyte from ONE of them.

Now with my game, ability to hustle up a few new plates, high self value and self esteem, I am #2 all the way. I would have been long gone already.

This is what I would do........and I have done before though not to THIS degree of disrespect.

Do not message her for 2 days. If she texts you, do not respond. If she calls, you do not answer. NO Contact.

After 2 days, send her this message:

"Sorry, I have been busy. We will never work out and I have started my search for other people that I am more compatible with. Best of luck and take care".

After that, DO NOT respond to her. Erase her off social media. Block her from your phone. Get your mojo back, get in the gym, get on your purpose and start dating other women. She will BEG to get together and talk. You will simply respond with "Sorry, no longer interested. Please move on"

In order to be a successful person in life you first half to be not only motivated to achieve what you want but you also have to have high self value. There is a reason that its called SELF value. The value is yours to determine. You will never date someone who looks good and treats you right if you are wasting your time being juggled back and forth with a bimbo like this.

Most posters will agree with me. Many on here have been through a similar situation to yours and now know to never entertain a woman that CHOOSES to string you along or act disrespectful.

Let me leave you with this:

Any man that is good with women and has abundance will drop a chick in a split second for being disrespectful. Only someone who fails to improve themselves and thinks this ONE woman is the best they will ever get (scarcity mindset) would stay with someone that acted as she is.

Any man or woman that acts disrespectful, intentionally strings someone else along, etc., knows it. Nobody has to tell them as to how they are acting. This is why I would always choose to NEVER sit a woman down and TALK about it.

Being disrespectful? Poof I am gone. Want to flirt with someone else while out with me? Poof I am gone. Want to call me out on something in front of other people? You wont even be able to finish your drink before Poof.....I'm gone.

Your actions will tell people how you expect to be treated, not your words.

Now tell this bytch "deuces" and move on.
@Glassguy thanks that made me feel better your right I'm not even gonna message her I'm just going to move on silently
 

Glassguy

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@Glassguy thanks that made me feel better your right I'm not even gonna message her I'm just going to move on silently
You should move on. You should also take the high road and after 2 full days send her "This isnt working and I am going a different direction. I just wanted you to know so you dont waste time texting and calling me. I have made my mind up and its firm. Take care".

You need to send her mind into fvcking orbit before you completely bail. This text does that.

You also need to be aware that she will keep trying to reach out. A simple "Sorry, no longer interested in you. I am going to start seeing other people. Please move on. Bye" is in order.

You wont hear from her for a few days, or even a week, but she WILL come back stronger than ever. Just dont buy into it because as SOON as you agree to try to work it out, you've already lost. When she makes her final charge, simply do not respond back. Just keep moving on.

That is the important thing about maintaining a strong frame. You cant maintain what you didnt start out with. You have to start every relationship with a strong frame. That doesnt mean being a jerk, it simply means that you have high standards for the way that you allow people to treat you. I treat people well and expect the same in return. If they dont, I give them no warnings as I am not required to. I just move on along.

That is frame. You can start hitting up and seeing new chicks. Make sure that you hold yourself and how you want to be treated high. Walk away from disrespect.

Once you lose frame with a chick you are never going to get it back with that chick.
 
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