Ghosting is Bull****

[MoreThanSmooth]

You hate ghosting but then enter the ghosting cycle with her just for the bang?

A ghosting cycle implies she's actually ghosting me. 90% of the time the girl's just busy or whatever. Perfect example: I won't be free for at least a week so I've just told this girl I'm busy and I'm going to go silent for a week and hit her up for a date when I'm free.

By this logic I'm "ghosting" her and she should immediately next me. Nonsense.

It's playing it by ear. There's a big difference between a girl with tons of sh*t going on in her life who is simply busy, and a girl who is jerking you around. You just have to work out which is which.

All of the most xXx-ALPHA-macho guys who are like "If she has a personal tragedy and it makes her 10 mins late for my date I NEXT HER" are the kind of guys who spend their whole time bouncing between bars jerking their own ego alone while the girls they're nexting are banging guys who have 5 more mins of sensible patience.

Imagine you're dating a 10/10 chick who works 16 hour shifts as a lawyer for a month. She misses a date. If you immediately NEXT even when she phones up and says "Really sorry I forgot about yesterday, totally my mistake. Come round my place tomorrow night and I'll cook you something really special to make up for it." then you're just putting your own ego ahead of everything. Which is dumb.

If she f*cks up understandably once you make it clear she owes you for the mistake but you're still interested. If she does it deliberately, you next her. It also means she will give you some leeway to f*ck up too.

 

[djdfuser]

Imagine you're dating a 10/10 chick who works 16 hour shifts as a lawyer for a month. She misses a date. If you immediately NEXT even when she phones up and says "Really sorry I forgot about yesterday, totally my mistake. Come round my place tomorrow night and I'll cook you something really special to make up for it." then you're just putting your own ego ahead of everything. Which is dumb.

Agreed but this is not your average broad and as you say, not ghosting. But even then you can bet the alpha lawyer who works harder, with the slightly higher SMV who's dating her is gonna be p!ssed if she pulls that stunt more than once.

We're talking about the average femcentric bints, glued to their iphones who are in no way too 'busy' to text for a week after they've been blowing your phone up for a solid month.

If she f*cks up understandably once you make it clear she owes you for the mistake but you're still interested. If she does it deliberately, you next her. It also means she will give you some leeway to f*ck up too.

Totally agree, but this ain't ghosting either. What OP's broad did is and it's unforgivable. I'd fvck her off instantly and for good.

 

[nismo-4]

Second place is first loser.

Read the High Score Theory. That helps a lot.

Move on. You f**ked up by a reason only she knows. Sometimes things like cheering for Ohio State or not owning the latest iphone can cause a girl to be disinterested.

You're dead last here. Move on unless you just want to be friends.

 

[BreezyB84]

It's amazing how many people didn't read the rest of the thread lol.

 

[fastlife]

Boundaries do not always have to be communicated. They are about self-respect and some are just given.

She showed what she is and the guy should walk away for good.

There’s a calculus that every man has to make for himself that goes along the lines of:

What do I want out of this interaction ?

What’s the best way to achieve this outcome?

What am I willing to do/not do to achieve this outcome?

Starting out, if a guy is susceptible to oneitis & likely to over invest in a woman (I.e. become monogamous) with a girl unworthy of that investment), then strong boundaries—my way or the highway—are necessary.

But that’s one set of boundaries for one set of outcomes. There are any number of potential outcomes: She’s a girl I hookup with once but I wouldn’t want her to know my name or where I live. She’s a girl I hookup with a couple times but never invest in emotionally or do any outside the bedroom stuff. She’s a girl I invest in emotionally but won’t commit to, etc.

There are awesome life experiences to be had in all of those outcomes & different girls are better suited to different types of interactions. A lot of the time the whole ‘protect yourself,’ ‘self-respect’ mantra is just rationalization to protect your ego or avoid rejection—but it limits your options significantly. Especially in the modern dating market.

 

[synergy1]

The last several years for me has been nothing but ghosting. This is not unsurprising as my SMV is about as close to 0 as you can get. For people with options, nexting on this type of behavior seems like the best option. After all, they could care less if one women doesn't schedule as they can fill it in quick enough. For those of us without options I have seen ghosting to have no effect what so ever. Women already have options, and if you keep axing your limited options, you end up with nothing at all.

I have found that women who are interested in you will try to find a way to meet up. Its really that simple. If they don't want to meet up, than thats mostly on you and you have to improve parts of your game/social circle or whatever to get there.

To me, it seems women can smell a low SMV from miles away. Believe me. I know.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The last several years for me has been nothing but ghosting. This is not unsurprising as my SMV is about as close to 0 as you can get. For people with options, nexting on this type of behavior seems like the best option. After all, they could care less if one women doesn't schedule as they can fill it in quick enough. For those of us without options I have seen ghosting to have no effect what so ever. Women already have options, and if you keep axing your limited options, you end up with nothing at all.

I have found that women who are interested in you will try to find a way to meet up. Its really that simple. If they don't want to meet up, than thats mostly on you and you have to improve parts of your game/social circle or whatever to get there.

To me, it seems women can smell a low SMV from miles away. Believe me. I know.

smv0?

 

[synergy1]

smv0?

smv0 defined by social proof really. I have a great career, I work out a lot, and still look normal. All of that. Its just mental at this point. When you are in a dry spell, it begets more of a dry spell and no second dates.

Odds are i'll be moving soon to a more populated area with a prospective job that will pay 2-3X what I earn now. That will help boost confidence no doubt, which will increase smv0 to smv(non zero).

 

[mrgoodstuff]

smv0 defined by social proof really. I have a great career, I work out a lot, and still look normal. All of that. Its just mental at this point. When you are in a dry spell, it begets more of a dry spell and no second dates.

Odds are i'll be moving soon to a more populated area with a prospective job that will pay 2-3X what I earn now. That will help boost confidence no doubt, which will increase smv0 to smv(non zero).

It can get so bad even fat wont take you seriously in a sexual manner.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I'm chill but I have a right to be somewhat upset.

You don't have a "right" to be upset. Having "rights" have nothing to do with being upset.

There isn't any international human rights organization dedicated to making sure snowflakes who don't get treated with the respect they think they deserve are properly taken care of.

You dated a girl, she dumped you in an unkind way.

Get over it and find somebody else.

Being butt hurt is not manly or attractive or helpful in any way. Stop sobbing your cheerios and get on with life.

Some people are friendly and polite, some people aren't. Welcome to Earth.

 

[resilient]

It can get so bad even fat wont take you seriously in a sexual manner.

. That’s gotta suck man!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

. That’s gotta suck man!

You a good looking man with puszy on you too...

 

[djreez88]

It can get so bad even fat wont take you seriously in a sexual manner.

Gotta be a homley mf to have it that bad lol on some incel ****!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Gotta be a homley mf to have it that bad lol on some incel ****!

Not really. If you reek of starving for puszy you almost cant pay for it. Even AMS said puzsy droughts are to be avoided and can be very hard to break.

 

[synergy1]

It can get so bad even fat wont take you seriously in a sexual manner.

Not quite there yet as I turned down sex w/ someone I wasn't particularly attracted too back in august. Thankfully my low SMV is a side effect of not being as social, hence not going out as much. I am actually in the best shape of my life since all I do is play sports and workout now. A few adjustments aught to turn the zero into something else.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Not quite there yet as I turned down sex w/ someone I wasn't particularly attracted too back in august. Thankfully my low SMV is a side effect of not being as social, hence not going out as much. I am actually in the best shape of my life since all I do is play sports and workout now. A few adjustments aught to turn the zero into something else.

Even going 30 days is a degredation after 3 months sexless i think a man looks empty.

 

[synergy1]

Even going 30 days is a degredation after 3 months sexless i think a man looks empty.

women can sense that too. Now add a year onto that and it is an uphill battle.

 

[bigdave17]

women can sense that too. Now add a year onto that and it is an uphill battle.

that's a bunch of bull****


women can sense a desperate, needy man and that is not directly related to how much sex you have. I talked to this chick from my high school yesterday at my gym, guess what? she was all over me instantly and I haven't been laid in about 1.5 years. She was not nearly attractive enough to be dating material but she was all over me regardless

 

[mrgoodstuff]

that's a bunch of bull****


women can sense a desperate, needy man and that is not directly related to how much sex you have. I talked to this chick from my high school yesterday at my gym, guess what? she was all over me instantly and I haven't been laid in about 1.5 years. She was not nearly attractive enough to be dating material but she was all over me regardless

Dude in your picks you look built and pretty good but your DRY as a bone. Women can see that.

 

[synergy1]

You're the exact opposite of @bigdave17 bc you have actual culpability and take responsibility

Thanks! that is what I go for. If one doesn't take responsibility, what good can come from ones mistakes? Sure its been a while, but I know the streak will end eventually. I like to take stock where I am, understand the challenges ahead and go forward. If this means swinging down , than it might be a good idea while in normal circumstances it might not be.

"women can sense a desperate, needy man and that is not directly related to how much sex you have."

Not directly, no. But indirectly, your body language, manner of speaking will telagraph these things for you. I know this because I have been in a totally reversed situation from where I am now, and had zero trouble during those times. People's overall attention to you is a confluence of things, most of which are derived from confidence in some way. You see this in sports, the work place..everywhere.