Been there done that. The pain after the split comes in stages. First it's usually wtf happened, then a bunch of anger towards her, followed with a great deal of shame in yourself for allowing it all to happen when you knew better. My relationship lasted 2 years, I'm 1.5 years apart and still struggling some days.
I assure you things will get better as long as you forgive yourself for letting it happen and really try to figure out your core childhood issues. Like most, you probably have some childhood issues that caused you stay with her. It could be a bunch of different things ranging from being bullied, neglected as a child, spoiled, sheltered by a parent, abandonment, lack of love, ect. It's possible you are an empath or a codependent.
Knowing what she is and how she operated takes a huge weight off your shoulders. Some guys go the rest of their lives chasing their bpd ex thinking she actually loved them. Be thankful you are not that guy. You will also in time after you read a fuk ton of material be able to spot a lie, manipulation, gaslighting and all that jazz so fast it will be like having a 3rd eye in the world. Also know that her so called love, future faking, soulmate stuff was all fake to get you to fall in her toxic web of destruction.
The 1# piece of advice I give to anyone who has come thru what you have is stay "no contact" forever! Delete all pics, letters, emails, block her! Never ever look back, answer a call or text, look at her facebook, ect. You will feel a great deal of pain if you dont follow that simple rule. Always remember if she were to ever contact you, it is NEVER about you, it's always about her. Take this time to work on you. I will gladly speak with you on the phone if you ever need anyone.
Good luck