Dress up Sexy- and she cancelled the date on the spot

[R.U.G.]

You came on too strong bro way too early. Classic rookie mistake.

 

[The Diver]

whatever this girl was thinking, it isn't congruent with her thinking OP displayed sexual interest, she's acting more like she thought they were gonna hang out as friends or something t

Yes, that precisely what she thought.
After you mention it, I reread her story, and the last line was " had a bad experience in the past, so Friend First". I totally missed it. I never went/go for a girl who said this "friend first" bu***** , My bad.

 

[Igetit!]

that her reaction is almost as if she wasn't expecting sexual interest at all. maybe OP was too nice/beta in the first 10 messages so she thought he was being friendly

Yep...exactly. That's why I said I wonder what was the conversation like in the 10 messages leading up to her suddenly losing interest.

Cause something seems odd. It's weird how whatever they discussed prior got her to agree to going out with him,then that one little comment seemed to kill all her interest. And honestly......that really didn't seem to be all that offensive of a remark.

A date IS sexual. That's the whole point of it.....to further explore that initial "spark" between a man and a woman from when they first met. It's also why some couples,like after they've been married for a while and the relationship seems to have slowed down due to complacency,stress,children,or other things will have a "date night".....where the two of them ALONE will go out on a date in attempt to try to re-captive or re-ignite the chemistry that brought them together in the first place.


I guarantee you.......If we knew what was said in those first 10 messages,we could find out what the hell went wrong.

 

[Banelord]

She was just not interested in u man....i had a girl once and i got her to say yes to me cumming inside her in 8 text. The first was her saying hi how your day. So this one not into u.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

1. if going on a date with a girl is a showing of sexual interest, then that means nobody who goes out with a girl ever gets friendzoned after X dates right? but we know that's not how it works.

If she friendzones you after X dates, it means...nothing, really. She just decided she wasn't feeling it for any of 1,000,000 reasons. Certainly the problem wasn't that you weren't telling her to "dress sexy" every 5 minutes.

Girls will friendzone you. Even if you're hot and you're good with girls. It just happens when girls have low interest level, or aren't feeling it, or aren't over their ex or whatever. It doesn't matter - in that situation, next.

 

[The Diver]

You came on too strong bro way too early. Classic rookie mistake.

As I mention before, I'm not new to this, But now and then I have the urge to try new things, explore a new approach, and checking how far I can push the boundaries.
I do all that to better calibrate my game/understanding, I well aware that I'll lose some girls on the way, and for me, the outcome is worth it.

 

[Macaframalama]

how in the world did you reach a conclusion like that? lol

Experience. Not all of them are looking for a fvckboy and even if they are and they're not half a$$ hammered, they would prefer a little more tact. I've yet to meet one, that likes a man, that can't keep his **** in his pocket.

 

[Macaframalama]

if your tongue isn’t down her throat within by the end of the first date you are friend zoned,
- if you are not f*cking her by the 2nd date you are a beta bvtch loser who can’t get a women
- if her lips aren’t on your genitals by the 3rd date she will never ever have sex with you.

Preferably, on the first date.

Yet to tell some girl he met ONLINE to “dress up sexy” for a date is pushing it?

Assuming all women have the same boundaries would be ameteurish at best, but downright retarded honestly. I can imagine her thoughts...

Him: Dress up sexy.
Her: Why? Are we having sex? Or...
Her: Is he really that cawky? Or...
Her: Is he presuming, that I am a slvt? But... I figure it's probably more like...
Her: Why? Are we having sex or are just really that cawky to presume, that I am going to fvck you after only 10 texts?

I have stated my experiences with bold game, what is yours? I've literally had one chick slobbing on my knob, after quoting the lyrics to 3-6 Mafia's "Slob on my knob" and I've blown out completetly otherwise responsive women whom I had already fvcked by overly objectifying them within the several days of fvcking them. When you get reactions like that, you are forced to draw conclusions and look at the common denominators. While, a chick may be comfortable with you giving her the gonzo treatment in the heat of the moment, it doesn't necessarily mean, she is going to be comfortable with you speaking to her any ol type of way. It's a completely different arena, considering a woman isn't solely seeking sexual gratification. I won't say the majority, because I have no way to quantify it, but emotional gratification is priority over sexual gratification for many, many women, ime. Many others use sex to get it. Nothing is free in life and do you honestly think, that she is going to enjoy the sex as much as you are and even if she did, generally speaking she can get sex infinitely easier, than 99.9% of men out there. Now ask yourself, what would be the one thing, that she couldn't get from just any man quite so easily?

 

[Trump]

I can imagine her thoughts...

Him: Dress up sexy.
Her: Why? Are we having sex? Or...
Her: Is he really that cawky? Or...
Her: Is he presuming, that I am a slvt? But... I figure it's probably more like...
Her: Why? Are we having sex or are just really that cawky to presume, that I am going to fvck you after only 10 texts?

Fair enough.

Me: Dress up sexy
Her: Now I'm not sure. Thanks for the chat.
Me; Take care.

What happened?

Sosuave:

- She thought you were only out for sex.
- You sexually objectified her, before getting to know her
- Pushed it too far too fast
- Women know men what sex, have enough class not to mention it
- Never say that before the second or third date.

Me: What time will you arrive?
Her: Now I'm not sure. Thanks for the chat.
Me; Take care.

What happened?

Sosuave:

- She thought you only wanted to be her friend
- You treated her like your buddy, instead of a sexual object
- Didn't push for sex fast enough
- Women never know men want to have sex, you have to be direct with your intentions
- Always push for sex by the end of the first date



Its as though sosuave is waiting for the outcome of the set, and if for any reason its not successful, they rip the guy to shreds. The same people who are saying "he pushed for sex too fast" are the same people who are saying "You have to be push your genitals down her throat within 15 seconds of meeting her."

Each set is different, but you have to retain some sort of consistency in the advice.

 

[flowtheory]

Fair enough.



Sosuave:

- She thought you were only out for sex.
- You sexually objectified her, before getting to know her
- Pushed it too far too fast
- Women know men what sex, have enough class not to mention it
- Never say that before the second or third date.



Sosuave:

- She thought you only wanted to be her friend
- You treated her like your buddy, instead of a sexual object
- Didn't push for sex fast enough
- Women never know men want to have sex, you have to be direct with your intentions
- Always push for sex by the end of the first date



Its as though sosuave is waiting for the outcome of the set, and if for any reason its not successful, they rip the guy to shreds. The same people who are saying "he pushed for sex too fast" are the same people who are saying "You have to be push your genitals down her throat within 15 seconds of meeting her."

Each set is different, but you have to retain some sort of consistency in the advice.

I think each case is different. When someone presents a scenario and is trying to figure out what went wrong in that specific situation with the given context, posters of SS will look at what would be the determining factor in that context for the lack of ideal results. Contradictory to other posts? Yes. But each post is a different world with new terrain and players.

Posters present problems and look for solutions. On forums, they point out where the OP went wrong and circle it so that individual is more weary of how they act.

I don’t think there can be a blanket statement for how to deal with all women, as each woman is completely different. In this scenario, he read the conversation incorrectly and didn’t take heed of the given circumstances. I believe much of being savvy with women is the ability to pickup cues and how to navigate her volatile waters to warm shores. He simply steered the ship in to a rock.

 

[The Diver]

Fair enough.



Sosuave:

- She thought you were only out for sex.
- You sexually objectified her, before getting to know her
- Pushed it too far too fast
- Women know men what sex, have enough class not to mention it
- Never say that before the second or third date.



Sosuave:

- She thought you only wanted to be her friend
- You treated her like your buddy, instead of a sexual object
- Didn't push for sex fast enough
- Women never know men want to have sex, you have to be direct with your intentions
- Always push for sex by the end of the first date



Its as though sosuave is waiting for the outcome of the set, and if for any reason its not successful, they rip the guy to shreds. The same people who are saying "he pushed for sex too fast" are the same people who are saying "You have to be push your genitals down her throat within 15 seconds of meeting her."

Each set is different, but you have to retain some sort of consistency in the advice.

Hahah that so true, not that I have a problem with being bashing. No pain -No gain

Now, sometime when I'm uncertain, like in this case, I play a hypothetical mind game, and asking myself:

Will she respond with:"Now, I'm not sure, Thanks for the chat" if this "Dress Sexy" would have come from Daniel Craig ? Fu*ck No. Would she respond to me the same if she was really into me? Well, I'm sure if she was really into me, she would just brush it off with some comment.

So my conclusion, in this specific case, she cancelled the date B'cos she just hasn't been into me at all, and not B'cos I have been rude. And maybe by saying "dress sexy", I just found out I'll waste my time, as her interest level just wasn't there at all in the first place.

 

[devilkingx2]

Experience. Not all of them are looking for a fvckboy and even if they are and they're not half a$$ hammered, they would prefer a little more tact. I've yet to meet one, that likes a man, that can't keep his **** in his pocket.

as I see it, her perception is her interest level and her interest level is her perception.

when you say something sexual you are testing her IL at that moment, if you say it too early you might say it while her IL is low but rising, but if you wait too long you'll say it when it might've been high but is falling off now

but the general idea is that you wanting to fvck her is only a bad thing/turn off if she doesn't want to fvck you, whether or not she never wanted to fvck you, you waited too long, or you rushed it is a context based question, but at that moment she didn't wanna fvck you at all

so while the lesson here is that 10 texts might be too early, the fact that she was willing to just drop him like a rock in an instant suggests her interest was so low that absolutely anything he said or did would be a deal breaker

If she friendzones you after X dates, it means...nothing, really. She just decided she wasn't feeling it for any of 1,000,000 reasons. Certainly the problem wasn't that you weren't telling her to "dress sexy" every 5 minutes.

Girls will friendzone you. Even if you're hot and you're good with girls. It just happens when girls have low interest level, or aren't feeling it, or aren't over their ex or whatever. It doesn't matter - in that situation, next.

what bizarro land do you live in where men don't lose girls for moving too slow, being too passive/beta, not making moves/making excuses, etc.?

I can't think of a single girl that wants to fvck me but has a problem with me being sexual, even from the beginning, I got a girl to agree to let me bang her raw before we even went on a first date once,

https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-move-faster

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

what bizarro land do you live in where men don't lose girls for moving too slow, being too passive/beta, not making moves/making excuses, etc.?

I can't think of a single girl that wants to fvck me but has a problem with me being sexual, even from the beginning, I got a girl to agree to let me bang her raw before we even went on a first date once,

https://www.girlschase.com/content/secrets-getting-girls-move-faster

The "bizarro land" I live in is a world where I don't care if I "lose" a girl for being too slow, because there is an abundance of girls out there and so what if I lose one girl I've been on one date with? Zero f*cks given.

Yeah, if a girl's agreeing to bang you before the first date, she probably bangs almost every guy she meets before the first date and she's just really loose. Enjoy the herpes.

The whole alpha/beta mentality is so tiresome. Men are not slack-jawed apes that need to follow some sort of caveman instinct. It's not "Beta" to not want to f*ck on the first date every single time. It's actually more enjoyable to take your time sometimes, and you often score better quality women too.

 

[HankHill]

I won't say the majority, because I have no way to quantify it, but emotional gratification is priority over sexual gratification for many, many women, ime.

What's that mean? Emotional gratification? An example perhaps?
I ask because this woman I dated for a couple of months kept telling me she loved my emotional intelligence. I never could figure out what she meant by it. I even asked her but it didn't make sense. The sex wasn't great for me so I became disinterested in having it very often . She called me out on it one day. I told her I wasn't feeling it, so that was that for us but to this day I wonder what the hell she meant.

 

[flowtheory]

What's that mean? Emotional gratification? An example perhaps?
I ask because this woman I dated for a couple of months kept telling me she loved my emotional intelligence. I never could figure out what she meant by it. I even asked her but it didn't make sense. The sex wasn't great for me so I became disinterested in having it very often . She called me out on it one day. I told her I wasn't feeling it, so that was that for us but to this day I wonder what the hell she meant.

There’s a book on emotional intelligence if you’re actually curious..
Daniel Golman - Emotional intelligence

 

[Macaframalama]

Each set is different, but you have to retain some sort of consistency in the advice.

Every woman is different. Every situation is different. There really is no one size fits all approach.

as I see it, her perception is her interest level and her interest level is her perception.

Huh?!

when you say something sexual you are testing her IL at that moment, if you say it too early you might say it while her IL is low but rising, but if you wait too long you'll say it when it might've been high but is falling off now

Again, huh?! It's more about her boundaries and ppl change opinions on a whim. I'll drop a woman over a few things at the drop of a dime, when otherwise I thought she was cool a few minutes ago.

so while the lesson here is that 10 texts might be too early, the fact that she was willing to just drop him like a rock in an instant suggests her interest was so low that absolutely anything he said or did would be a deal breaker

It could have been a million different things, but I highly doubt it.

 

[HankHill]

After being here for a few weeks my observation is that there are only two right analyses at SoSuave for 99% of us:

1. You're a desperate AFC for making sexual gestures like this, keep it in your pants bro
2. Or you're a beta male for not escalating things on the first date (or even before the first date), don't be a pvssy bro

BTW, you can be both from one thread to the next.

The other 1% on SoSuave are the alleged Alpha males whom women are constantly begging to take their virginities

 

[Macaframalama]

What's that mean? Emotional gratification? An example perhaps?
I ask because this woman I dated for a couple of months kept telling me she loved my emotional intelligence. I never could figure out what she meant by it. I even asked her but it didn't make sense. The sex wasn't great for me so I became disinterested in having it very often . She called me out on it one day. I told her I wasn't feeling it, so that was that for us but to this day I wonder what the hell she meant.

The book flow theory suggested is a great book, but for example, just listening to her rant about the chit shes going through life and empathizing with her.

 

[Atom Smasher]

The way I see it, if you say "Dress sexy", you are eliminating all women who feel some discomfort with an overt reference about sex. You're putting the cart before the horse and the result is that you lose potential opportunities with women who would love to hear "you look sexy" after she meets you.

Ah, impetuous youth... Always rushing headlong in. Careful and thoughtful use of strategy and tactics greatly increases your chances of a positive outcome.

 

[devilkingx2]

Going fast is not going to lose you anyone, but even if it did, that means you are operating from fear of loss, not us. Going slow is not going to change the underlying quality of the woman you're dating.

It totally will lose you low interest girls, girls who think you're beta bux or are looking for beta bux, prudes and otherwise boring girls, etc.

Usually not anything you want though.

Yeah, if a girl's agreeing to bang you before the first date, she probably bangs almost every guy she meets before the first date and she's just really loose. Enjoy the herpes.

If a girl bangs you early, it's possible that she just actually likes you, and doesn't need to be a wh*re to find you attractive because you're not that ugly

Or it could be that she is the gangbang queen of the north east.

If a girl holds out in the beginning and doesn't even want you broaching the topic of sex it could be that she's sexually conservative, chaste, a classy respectable lady who seeks a gentleman

Or it could be that she isn't attracted/interested or that she sees you as a beta.

It is up to each individual man to decide which is more likely, in my experience if she isn't DTF immediately it's because she doesn't like you much lol. But perhaps other men such as yourself have had different experiences with which to advise the OP