Dress up Sexy- and she cancelled the date on the spot

[The Diver]

Had a chat online with this woman and after about 10 messages I closed the date.
My last message was:

Me: Cool , see you there, Dress up sexy, lol
Her: Now I'm not sure. Thanks for the chat.
Me; Take care.

Please enlighten me here, what just happened? can't be I went too far, NO ????

 

[marmel75]

Eh, she didn't have high enough interest or she thought you were only out for sex.

I've come to realize things like that are completely unnecessary before a first date. My goal is to get them to meet up so any interaction that could possibly prevent that from happening I stay away from.

Save the boldness for the date itself.

 

[The Diver]

Yea, I tend to agree with you @marmel75 . I did it before, but only after a few dates, and it leads to a funny sexual messages exchange.
It's the first time I did it before the first date, and did it just out of curiosity, trying to see how far I can push it, but looks like it's not a good idea doing it before the first date, and before some connection established.

 

[skinnyguy]

She’s sounds like a dumb prude. You dodged a bullet with this one

 

[Macaframalama]

You sexually objectified her, before getting to know her and she wasn't a complete slut.

 

[The Diver]

You sexually objectified her, before getting to know her and she wasn't a complete slut.

Yea, she did "sound" kind of conservative one, and maybe it's scared her a bit.

 

[Macaframalama]

Yea, she did "sound" kind of conservative one, and maybe it's scared her a bit.

Yea, 10 messages in is kind of quick to steer it in that direction, unless you are absolutely sure she is DTF and just looking for a hook up.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Had a chat online with this woman and after about 10 messages I closed the date.
My last message was:

Me: Cool , see you there, Dress up sexy, lol
Her: Now I'm not sure. Thanks for the chat.
Me; Take care.

Please enlighten me here, what just happened? can't be I went too far, NO ????

Pushed it too far. Too fast.

Its all based on interest level. In thus case, her lack thereof. Likely, she was ambiguous and coupled with society telling her how rapey men in society are.

Just troll. New girls are turning 18 and you are expiring.

You mad?

 

[The Diver]

You mad?

Mad? why should I be ?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Mad? why should I be ?

I see read comprehension isn't your strong suit.

I said, you aware her of the deprecating shelf market that is her SMV. I E new girls turning 18. The you mad retort is trolling.

Note, her ego and sense of entitlement is based on who she is but is a glimpse into her egomaniacal junkies. Its on dopamine spikes based on males wanting to smash and her mistaking this VERY VERY SHORT WINDOW as her being a special snowflake.

Note, the ego of entitlement swiftly changes to victimhood real fast once her phone stops ringing. Its usually adaptive behavior once smv plummeted or as Rollo calls it, her epiphany phase hits (late 20s or Early 30s).

 

[dustmuffin]

I did that to a girl once. She didn't wear panties to a first date like I asked. Fingered her in the bar after 5 minutes. She was in my bed after 30. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose

 

[BeExcellent]

You sexually objectified her, before getting to know her and she wasn't a complete slut.

This is precisely what happened^^^

Advice from the old lady:

Gentlemen, women KNOW that men want sex. We got the memo. If you are showing interest in a chick she already knows you are interested in her sexually. Have enough class not to mention it please.

Part of qualifying a man is observing whether he's interested in us besides just sex or whether he's just a horn dog. This type of exchange is the single fastest way to creep a woman out & run her off. It does not exude a DJ vibe at all. It's tacky.

You remain at this point (prior to meeting) complete strangers. Remember that. Also note that the world is more physically dangerous for females. When you as a man make comments like this...you risk coming across as not only creepy & tacky but potentially physically threatening.

Unless a woman is a complete w h o r e she is not going to send nudes, take kindly to d!ck pics or put up with being sexually objectified before she has met you. It's best advised to avoid it.

Some men succeed with this type of banter...but they are the exception. And even they succeed only after establishing enough value & comfort to be considered "safe" by the woman in question. If you personally don't know how to establish value & comfort then don't sexually escalate in communication prior to meeting...you'll blow your opportunity to meet at all, as happened here.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I see plenty of truth in many posts here.

Low interest to begin with 80%, wrong way to deal with her 15%, 5% wrong timing.

While its true that the way he lead the communication was wrong in his case, I believe the problem was the low interest to begin with.

If he looked like a young version of brad pitt, that line while being wrong would have not been the deal breaker, she would have probably reminded him that "she is a lady" or something like that.

So the take away message is to behave according to your LMS, I did ops mistake many times btw...a decent look + decent behaviour made me reach the minimum score to get her but taken away the decent behaviour the total score felt under the line....a better look would have pushed the sum so high that even losing the personality score would have not break the deal.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I'd personally never say that before the second or third date.

There's a big difference between asking your GF to dress like Lara Croft in a backless gown and asking some random chick who doesn't even know if she feels safe around you yet.

 

[Young OG]

Had a chat online with this woman and after about 10 messages I closed the date.
My last message was:

Me: Cool , see you there, Dress up sexy, lol
Her: Now I'm not sure. Thanks for the chat.
Me; Take care.

Please enlighten me here, what just happened? can't be I went too far, NO ????

Why did you try to set up the date online? You should have went for the number first.

I always get the number and then set up the date through text. Lots of women will agree to a date through the dating app but when you go for the number they disappear. Doing it like this weeds out the low interest time wasters.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Of course none of us should have any interest in dating anyone with interest level so tenuous anyway. Like you said, she will laugh it off regardless if she has tolerable interest. Consider it a s*** test on your end, in fact that's the way I view it and use it.

It's literally the opposite of anti dump to walk on eggshells around low il.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/anti-dumps-machine-part-i-interest-level.39729/

ahaha anti dump damn I miss those days even if I arrived later anyway...early 00s a total different world generally and even more when it came of dating.

Cellphones were just mainstream from a couple of years, no smartphones, no dating apps, no tinder or facebook or instagram...a total different world.

Anyway you have a point, we can use "bad strategies" to gauge interest level, at some point a good reading of her interest is worth taking risks of blowout.

 

[Mazer]

Looking for a reason to flake on you. You can have said the sky is blue and she would have flaked.

 

[marmel75]

Why did you try to set up the date online? You should have went for the number first.

I always get the number and then set up the date through text. Lots of women will agree to a date through the dating app but when you go for the number they disappear. Doing it like this weeds out the low interest time wasters.

It honestly doent matter, I've set up dates both ways. Only reason i like getting rhe number is because some of those sites are crazy and delete profiles for no reason.

 

[Macaframalama]

Disagree, she was just low il.

The second she committed to the date she got buyer's remorse and he gave her an excuse to exit out.

Likely, if she had low IL she wouldn't have agreed to the date in the first place. What, she felt obligated to keep her word? In 2018? Lol. Committed. Sexual innuendo. Uncommitted. Simple as that. I imagine, to women, it feels kind of like how it feels for men, when they start talking about LTR, exclusivity, etc. I employ bold game and have blown out no telling how many women similar to OP's response, even after I've fvcked them. It's a double edged sword. Goes great in the heat of the moment, parties, etc, when the liquor is flowing and inhibitions are down, but when everyone's came back down to reality, if your cards are shown too early and she figures out you're just in it for the lay, when she's not, buh bye.

 

[Mazer]

Of course none of us should have any interest in dating anyone with interest level so tenuous anyway. Like you said, she will laugh it off regardless if she has tolerable interest. Consider it a s*** test on your end, in fact that's the way I view it and use it.

It's literally the opposite of anti dump to walk on eggshells around low il.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/anti-dumps-machine-part-i-interest-level.39729/

Yes. Never walk on eggshells.
I have to disagree with some of these comments. This woman had no interest in hanging out with the OP from the get go. They know exactly what they are doing. I can almost guarantee she would have flaked on the day of the date. All these comments about the woman being "offended" blah blah by his sexual comment. If this woman cant laugh it off then she isn't worth your time. Can you imagine how more difficult she would be on the date?! You would most likely be waiting months for sex. These are the same women who try to change the venue on you last minute. Women like this are just pissed off because Chad stopped calling, now she is forced to settle and needs to make every new man jump through hoops.