First date report. Just a quick peck?

[marmel75]

This was a first, even for me. Met this lady for a drink and an appetizer at a local pub. She was laughing and smiling, so I assumed that was a good sign. Then the band started playing really loud, so I said we should leave. We walked back to her car, and said I hope you had a nice time, and she said she did. I gave her a hug and then went in for a kiss. I received a quick peck on the lips. A bit odd no? Not sure of her interest. She's 32, so wasn't expecting that reaction to a kiss.

Do I just move on?

What did you do that could be considered escalation? Having nice converstions doesn't make a woman want to suck your d!ck.

 

[marmel75]

I can't believe that we are discussing a normal situation. Rick went on date, had fun, got a kiss.
Call her and ask her again.

Tomorrow we will discuss about why the Sun is rising.

Jesus.

But its a continuation of his lack of escalation in date. Where did he say he did anything to escalate in date? Did i miss somwthing? We have spoken ad nauseum about the need to do this and once again he does nothing and gets a "peck". Dude I could get a "peck" within a minute of meeting if I wanted to.

Getting a "peck" is not always a sign of interest...sometimes it can be a "I'm not really interested but you were a nice guy and I feel bad for you so here is a kiss".

Escalate. Escalate. Escalate. Understand your fear to "fail" in date is really keeping you from succeeding.

 

[Glassguy]

Naw he was right to end it. He actually stayed an hour too long. You guys are giving bad advice. You have to spoon feed your time, not linger for hours.

Wrong. You close at the end and try to escalate if you interest seems high and the date is going well.

You'll lose more chicks by being the nice guy than you will escalating. Fact

 

[RickTheToad]

Agreed on the escalation, which I normally do when we go back to her or my car. She actually parked a few minutes away. I offered to drive her over, but she said she'd rather walk since it's only a few minutes away. She asked for me to walk with her, as we had to cross a few intersections, so I did hold her arm and caress a bit, but didn't have the best opportune time to do so. We walked over to her car, she was looking at me, so I leaned in and gave her a hug, held it for 10-15 seconds or so and then looked in her eyes and went for a kiss. I actually saw her close her eyes and pucker up for a peck at the last moment. Thus, I was a bit perplexed and just said be safe and walked back to my car.

Again, I am a bit surprised she didn't text after or this morning about the date. Even ones that are okay at best do that. After all, I did spend 30 bucks for a couple of drinks and two appetizers. She hinted at a meal, but I wasn't falling for that crap. Did that once before, and didn't even get a peck. She didn't offer to split either, which, I thought was a bit strange too. Yet, she seemed very receptive during the date. We were talking about our favorite foods we cook, and I mentioned an ingredient that I use, but she said she's allergic too. Then then joked and said did I lose some points? I said, ah, we can work around that.... I think, with a smirk.

I know I need more practice, but I am learning and will make mistakes. Again, being out of the dating game for 10 years, a lot has changed. There's a festival coming up next weekend, so I was going to shoot her a text to see if she wanted to do something and I'd pick her up. I also am texting a few other women as well, so I do not want to beat a dead horse. There are two are better looking, however, she's closer. I like to keep all my options open.

Just looking for some guidance. I usually do not let the first date go longer than 2 hours or so. I want to build up tension, so I didn't think it was that big of a deal. There were other people around, so maybe she was nervous? Not sure.

 

[marmel75]

Agreed on the escalation, which I normally do when we go back to her or my car. She actually parked a few minutes away. I offered to drive her over, but she said she'd rather walk since it's only a few minutes away. She asked for me to walk with her, as we had to cross a few intersections, so I did hold her arm and caress a bit, but didn't have the best opportune time to do so. We walked over to her car, she was looking at me, so I leaned in and gave her a hug, held it for 10-15 seconds or so and then looked in her eyes and went for a kiss. I actually saw her close her eyes and pucker up for a peck at the last moment. Thus, I was a bit perplexed and just said be safe and walked back to my car.

Again, I am a bit surprised she didn't text after or this morning about the date. Even ones that are okay at best do that. After all, I did spend 30 bucks for a couple of drinks and two appetizers. She hinted at a meal, but I wasn't falling for that crap. Did that once before, and didn't even get a peck. She didn't offer to split either, which, I thought was a bit strange too. Yet, she seemed very receptive during the date. We were talking about our favorite foods we cook, and I mentioned an ingredient that I use, but she said she's allergic too. Then then joked and said did I lose some points? I said, ah, we can work around that.... I think, with a smirk.

I know I need more practice, but I am learning and will make mistakes. Again, being out of the dating game for 10 years, a lot has changed. There's a festival coming up next weekend, so I was going to shoot her a text to see if she wanted to do something and I'd pick her up. I also am texting a few other women as well, so I do not want to beat a dead horse. There are two are better looking, however, she's closer. I like to keep all my options open.

Just looking for some guidance. I usually do not let the first date go longer than 2 hours or so. I want to build up tension, so I didn't think it was that big of a deal. There were other people around, so maybe she was nervous? Not sure.

No. No. No.

Escalation happens in date not post date on the way back to the car. Escalation is a slow process...thats why its called escalation, not a 1 pitch swing or miss at the end of the night.

You need to start working on this in date starting almost immediately upon meeting.

 

[RickTheToad]

How does one do this at a table you're sitting across from? I did try subtle touches at the beginning of the date, but when you're sitting across from each other at the table, I am not sure how to accomplish this task. Any help or guidance would be appreciative.

 

[wifehunter]

 

[RickTheToad]

So, I guess you're telling me for this one, pass? Next one learn kino? Or, you don't give a f*ck on my thread? Any good books to read on kino? Would the book of pook cover this?

 

[wifehunter]

So, I guess you're telling me for this one, pass? Next one learn kino? Or, you don't give a f*ck on my thread? Any good books to read on kino? Would the book of pook cover this?

 

[Glassguy]

How does one do this at a table you're sitting across from? I did try subtle touches at the beginning of the date, but when you're sitting across from each other at the table, I am not sure how to accomplish this task. Any help or guidance would be appreciative.

Never sit across from them on a date.

 

[RickTheToad]

Have little choice. That is how the tables are. For two people, they will not five a four table place.

 

[RickTheToad]

Dude. What's with the gifs? Have an opinion, please share.

 

[wifehunter]

Dude. What's with the gifs? Have an opinion, please share.

nah

 

[marmel75]

Have little choice. That is how the tables are. For two people, they will not five a four table place.

You always have a choice. Finding the right location is a key component to a successful first date.

Perhaps this isnt the right location. If there is a Bar Louie in your area I would highly recommend it.

 

[RickTheToad]

You always have a choice. Finding the right location is a key component to a successful first date.

Perhaps this isnt the right location. If there is a Bar Louie in your area I would highly recommend it.

Surpisingly, yes. One in West Hartford, the other in Milford. Appreciate the tip. Things were so much easier a decade ago...

 

[marmel75]

Surpisingly, yes. One in West Hartford, the other in Milford. Appreciate the tip. Things were so much easier a decade ago...

Awesome. Its a cool atmosphere, dimly lit and it has lots of quiet booths along with the bar. I'd suggest getting drinks at the bar and then telling them lets go sit in a booth and pick the quietest most secluded one you can find.

I'd scout out one or two other places in different parts of town so you always have a go to place no matter where you are/she lives. Then always take a first date to one of these places, no exceptions.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It’s summer. Outside at a patio is good if they have a standing area. It’s not hard to escalate ... look into her eyes when she talks. Test the limits of space after a few minutes by getting closer but not actually touching her. If she doesn’t move away you are golden. From there, next time she catches you looking into her eyes, go in for the kiss. She probably will reject you, but the point is the earlier you start, the earlier she gives in. If she doesn’t leave, you have the green light to keep trying.

 

[flowtheory]

Follow up with her when you feel you want to, with an abundant mind, and not a scarcity mindset. 1 day, 3 days, whatever.
Your common theme in threads is that you consistently over-analyze. You have to care less and take the pressure and expectation away.

I once madeout with a girl on a date and the next day she told me she wasn’t feeling it in our chemistry. I didn’t care; I was surprised though.
So a peck or even a makeout doesn’t mean anything. Or it means something. Who knows? You could get a blowy and have it not go anywhere. It’s the way it goes. It’s life. It’s a giant question mark.

When you pedantically look in to it and scrutinize every moment, sure, you could have done things differently and better.
However you did things mostly right, I don’t think you need to over analyze. But since were all about improvement and details here..

- Two and a half hours is plenty to have spent on a first date; it needn’t go longer just because you were having a good time. Leave some for next time. Good call.
- the table thing; try to sit next to her, however yea I get it sometimes there just isn’t any way. But you can still slide your leg against hers being playful or play with her hands.
- escalate throughout and go for the kiss sooner if you’re feeling it. And if you get rejected, who cares. Keep going until the date is done. Shake off any form of rejections or obstacle.

Keep going on dates and keep doing these things, and soon enough it’s second nature and will feel more natural. It’s just a matter of excavating old ways and cultivating new ones. It can be an arduous process though.

 

[MrWood]

37yo HB7 met on OLD
we had some light chat, light flirt.. over the few days over Whatsapp
said she had a cute smile 3 times over a week of chat, she pointed it out...
so I told her before the date anyway I will never compliment her smile ever again, even if she begs me
mentions something about a russian Quiz show and party after, I dont catch all of it (bad connect over voice)
(shes half German/Russian)

today 1st date, impromptu day date... she was at the beach, i was at work
teasingly invites me to the beach (Helsinki)
tell her the flirting is working on me (her reply smiles)
she needs to be home at 4, I tell her im a bad boy, the bosses are gone and Im leaving, lets meet 2:30
she suggets coffee, but needs to freshn up first.
2:30, we meet, I am in a dirty 2003 Golf...
hug/cheek kiss (she sees my floppy arm, doesnt say anything)... she takes me to a beach bar, we get a beer, shes sleveless in shorts and smells super (perfume) I compliment
start talking, i dis her smile as an ongoing joke...
explain the arm, seems not fazed...
good chat, I light kino her shoulders/leg... she clearly notices and does not resist
I ask about the afterparty and if she was asking me to be her date... yes she replies
talk, she offers me her cigarettes although I have a full pack
We talk passions... she becomes wordless and after a pause say... you really made me think (huge emotional food her hamster hasnt tasted)
I kept backing off kino/eyes knowing I will have Friday with her... to leave some mystery and discovery for her hamster
chit chat bla bla, 4pm comes.. I walk her to her street crossing, confirm the date for Friday (she said I can come early even)
hug, she could take a lip kiss... but I lip kiss her cheek lingering (not a peck)
say our goodbyes

her laughing, sees my floppy arm and shlt car.. still wants a public date in the company of HER social circle

followup 6hrs later:
me: im wearing black Friday
her: I was just thinking about you

this is interest, in my opinion...

LMS cheerleaders... go fvck yerselves