Texting than disappeared?

[flowtheory]

Ideally she should, but she did bring up rescheduling. Reschedule is better than nothing. It's a weak counter offer, but it's still a counter offer. Use it to pin her down. She'll either relent and go out with you (because of your persistence), or reveal her lack of interest level.​

​

Honestly I would her rather suggest a different date. I don’t want to have to circus perform for a simple first date..

Yes, let her bail via text. Don't help her do it by extending the invitation to do so. She should have to initiate to break the date. Or just stand you up. It's all frame.

But if you don’t confirm you run a high risk of being stood up in person.. which no one ideally wants as it’s a colossal waste of time

 

[EyeBRollin]

Honestly I would her rather suggest a different date. I don’t want to have to circus perform for a simple first date..

Doesn't matter. You have no chance with any woman until you go out with her. That's it. There's nothing else that matters. Your first date is the Super Bowl. If you never get the first date, you never get anywhere. Suck it up and get the date.

But if you don’t confirm you run a high risk of being stood up in person.. which no one ideally wants as it’s a colossal waste of time

It's part of the game, and it's no riskier than confirming. If you never send the confirmation text, the ones that want to meet up actually text you to confirm. If you are really worried about wasting time and gas, double and triple book your dates.

 

[flowtheory]

Doesn't matter. You have no chance with any woman until you go out with her. That's it. There's nothing else that matters. Your first date is the Super Bowl. If you never get the first date, you never get anywhere. Suck it up and get the date.



It's part of the game, and it's no riskier than confirming. If you never send the confirmation text, the ones that want to meet up actually text you to confirm. If you are really worried about wasting time and gas, double and triple book your dates.

When you say double or triple book your dates, do you mean like three in a row or three women all for the same time of that specific day and then bail on two of the women?

 

[EyeBRollin]

When you say double or triple book your dates, do you mean like three in a row or three women all for the same time of that specific day and then bail on two of the women?

Either, or both.

 

[flowtheory]

Still Don’t know if you plan a date 5 days from now and agree on a spot you shouldn’t text during that duration. Going cold seems as though it works against a man..

 

[R.U.G.]

Sorry Flow control, you never confirm with the woman. The man sets the date. The woman's job is to be there. Usually, they confirm, but if you confirm them, it shows weakness and unsure of one's self for someone to keep a date. Shows you have nothing going on if she cancels. If the woman cancels or offers a resch., you do that on the spot. If she says I'll get back to you, than means adios. If she cancels again, you are not in the 1st or 2nd spot for the woman. Happens to everyone, even me. I don't care, but I wouldn't entertain the woman again UNLESS she agrees to come to my place and make it up to me. Always say, no prob., how's Tuesday @ 6pm on the cafe` on the corner. She says can't, you can ask her for a date and time, but expect it to be cancelled. Most women are like that. They are very flaky. Deep down, they know they are flakes and do not like confrontation. Most, believe it or not are quite mean and resentful. Anything they say or text, pay little attention, it's always there actions. If their interest is high enough, they'd walk to you on their bare feet.

Now, how to get them to that level via talk, text and OLD? I have no idea.

 

[R.U.G.]

What!? No way!
If a woman breaks a date shouldn’t she be suggesting the new day? To me, the onus should be on her for that. Counter offer would be her duty there, unless I’m being too hardcore and stubborn on the rules of engagement here

They should, but most are so inherently lazy, they cannot even do that right. You need to take the initiative. If they shoot you down, you pass. If they reach out to you later, the only date you'll accept is for her to come to your place to cook and chill. Don't expect anything, but if the moon aligns up correctly with the stars, it may just happen.

 

[R.U.G.]

Still Don’t know if you plan a date 5 days from now and agree on a spot you shouldn’t text during that duration. Going cold seems as though it works against a man..

Never go that far in advance Flow control. Between 2 - 4 days in advance. If you want to see the woman Tuesday or Wednesday, you call or Text Sunday. If you want to see them Friday or Saturday, you call or text Tuesday or Wednesday. When her interest is really high, you can call Wednesday or Thursday.

 

[flowtheory]

Sorry Flow control, you never confirm with the woman. The man sets the date. The woman's job is to be there. Usually, they confirm, but if you confirm them, it shows weakness and unsure of one's self for someone to keep a date. Shows you have nothing going on if she cancels. If the woman cancels or offers a resch., you do that on the spot. If she says I'll get back to you, than means adios. If she cancels again, you are not in the 1st or 2nd spot for the woman. Happens to everyone, even me. I don't care, but I wouldn't entertain the woman again UNLESS she agrees to come to my place and make it up to me. Always say, no prob., how's Tuesday @ 6pm on the cafe` on the corner. She says can't, you can ask her for a date and time, but expect it to be cancelled. Most women are like that. They are very flaky. Deep down, they know they are flakes and do not like confrontation. Most, believe it or not are quite mean and resentful. Anything they say or text, pay little attention, it's always there actions. If their interest is high enough, they'd walk to you on their bare feet.

Now, how to get them to that level via talk, text and OLD? I have no idea.

So let’s oretend I go to cafe at 6pm for a first date and she no shows. It’s now 6:15pm. Would you call/text? Or just leave?

Also.. who’s flow control? Haha

 

[R.U.G.]

So let’s oretend I go to cafe at 6pm for a first date and she no shows. It’s now 6:15pm. Would you call/text? Or just leave?

Also.. who’s flow control? Haha

That's you flow control. ;'p

If she's not their after 30, you jet. You can text 10 mins in, I've done that. However, I've not yet to experience a woman showing up to a date. Most be a new phenomenon. I am sure I will have the pleasure one day. I did it inadvertently to a woman due to traffic, but she couldn't wait 10 minutes. I was only scheduled for a 30 minute meet and greet. Gee, 36 and still no LTR. I wonder why?

 

[Igetit!]

The date and time had already been planned she was just asking me questions.. here’s the actual texts.. and generally how I text with most women these days..

(Sunday)
Me: I’m still deciding where I want my adventure to be this year; I was thinking Portugal, Spain, and Morocco
Her: That's awesome, Barcelona is beautiful!! The Gaudi, Dali and Miro exhibitions are incredible. Do you go travelling often? Also, which area do you live?
Me:I’m in K—. You live in North (location) right?
Her: That's right! What do you want to do Thursday?
Me: With the bears (grimace text face and bear emoji)
Her: Yes, we have tea parties in the forest
Me: Ideally a walk on the seawall if the weather is picturesque. We shall see what that Thursday brings though
Her:Sure, it may be quite late though, around 8pm
Me: Twilight walks are my favourite
Her: haha okay! What's it like living in K—?
Me: That’s like asking an angel what heaven is like
Her:I see, so a fun place to live
Me: You will have to come experience it with me first hand
Her:What do you do for fun?
Me:Go on dates with English women
Her: So you do that often?
Me: Just on Thursdays
- - - -
(Wednesday 2:42pm)
Me: Good day! So tomorrow let’s meet at (location) at 8:15. We will go for a walk and see what happens from there
(11:05pm)
Her: Hey, I'm really sorry I'm not able to make tomorrow. Can we reschedule?
Me: Sure
—-end convo—-

Ok.......I'm just gonna be STRAIGHT UP honest with you about this text exchange.

When I read it......I CRINGED. I wholeheartedly agree with what EyeBRollin said to you. With that said....

Dude.....what are you doin' here with this girl? There's a couple of things you need to understand. For one,

You are A STRANGER to her. Just because you two connected and were in the process of trying to set up a date doesn't change that.

All those questions she asked....she was trying to get to know you better...to get a better sense of who you are,but you wouldn't be serious. Like every question she asked,it seems like you kept trying to come up with some "zinger" or witty remark. It's hard to get to know someone when every answer out of their mouth come off as a joke or a comedy routine.

Again....you're a STRANGER. She asked what you wanted to do Thursday,you sent her emojis WITHOUT a serious response. Then you mentioned going for a walk on a seawall,she said it'd have to be around 8pm,you said "Twilight walks are my favorite".


YOU ARE A STRANGER. You think she's gonna feel comfortable walking around ALONE........A NIGHT with some guy she doesn't know? She was trying to get to know you,but you kept playing around. When you do that constantly,it can make someone suspicious of you. That's NOT what you want. Look at this....

Her: That's right! What do you want to do Thursday?
Me: With the bears (grimace text face and bear emoji)

Her: Yes, we have tea parties in the forest
Me: Ideally a walk on the seawall if the weather is picturesque. We shall see what that Thursday brings though
Her:Sure, it may be quite late though, around 8pm
Me: Twilight walks are my favourite

She asked about Thursday,you say twilight walks are your favorite.

Her: haha okay! What's it like living in K—?
Me: That’s like asking an angel what heaven is like

She asked what it's like living where you live.....

You say that's like asking an angel what heaven is like...

Her:What do you do for fun?
Me:Go on dates with English women

She asks what you like to do for fun....you say go on dates with english women.

Her: So you do that often?
Me: Just on Thursdays

She asks how often you do that,you say only on Thursdays.......just one smart alek remark after another. Not only can she not get to know you,but she probably thought all the joking and kidding you do through text,that'd you'd likely be like that on the date as well. Women want A MAN...not a comedian. You need to use the joking like a spice,like salt or pepper......just a dash here and there. You just kept laying it on.

You kinda come off as if you've read too many cheesy novels,or seen too many romantic movies. You talk about "adventure".....talk about the weather being "pictureasque",twilight walks,say the town where you live is like "heaven"...tell her she should "experience it" with you.

Where's the MAN at here? You find her attractive? You flirt with her? Ask her what she's gonna wear on the date FOR YOU?

Ask her if she saw a quarter on the ground,would bend down and she pick it up. If she says yes,tell her if she wears a nice low-cut blouse on the date,you'll throw a whole round of quarters on the ground for her. Act like A MAN who's attracted to a woman. You come off like you're trying to win a woman over like they do in the movies,or like an episode of "The Bachelor"....with rose petals,moon light walks,etc,etc.


This ain't the movies...it's REAL LIFE.

 

[R.U.G.]

Better exchange:
You: Deciding where to vacay next.
Her:That's awesome, The Gaudi, Dali and Miro exhibitions are incredible. Do you go travelling often? Also, which area do you live?
You: I travel a few times a year. Yea, I live in North so and so. We should meet for drinks. It's better to get to know someone in person than message.
Her: Good idea!!!
You: How's Wednesday @ 6:30pm @ The Beaver Club?
Her: Works!!!!!
You: Perfect. See you then. Need to clean up dinner (or whatever). See you Wednesday and take care!

 

[R.U.G.]

Flow control, no disrespect, but how old are you?

 

[R.U.G.]

Ok.......I'm just gonna be STRAIGHT UP honest with you about this text exchange.

When I read it......I CRINGED. I wholeheartedly agree with what EyeBRollin said to you. With that said....

Dude.....what are you doin' here with this girl? There's a couple of things you need to understand. For one,

You are A STRANGER to her. Just because you two connected and were in the process of trying to set up a date doesn't change that.

All those questions she asked....she was trying to get to know you better...to get a better sense of who you are,but you wouldn't be serious. Like every question she asked,it seems like you kept trying to come up with some "zinger" or witty remark. It's hard to get to know someone when every answer out of their mouth come off as a joke or a comedy routine.

Again....you're a STRANGER. She asked what you wanted to do Thursday,you sent her emojis WITHOUT a serious response. Then you mentioned going for a walk on a seawall,she said it'd have to be around 8pm,you said "Twilight walks are my favorite".


YOU ARE A STRANGER. You think she's gonna feel comfortable walking around ALONE........A NIGHT with some guy she doesn't know? She was trying to get to know you,but you kept playing around. When you do that constantly,it can make someone suspicious of you. That's NOT what you want. Look at this....





She asked about Thursday,you say twilight walks are your favorite.



She asked what it's like living where you live.....

You say that's like asking an angel what heaven is like...




She asks what you like to do for fun....you say go on dates with english women.



She asks how often you do that,you say only on Thursdays.......just one smart alek remark after another. Not only can she not get to know you,but she probably thought all the joking and kidding you do through text,that'd you'd likely be like that on the date as well. Women want A MAN...not a comedian. You need to use the joking like a spice,like salt or pepper......just a dash here and there. You just kept laying it on.

You kinda come off as if you've read too many cheesy novels,or seen too many romantic movies. You talk about "adventure".....talk about the weather being "pictureasque",twilight walks,say the town where you live is like "heaven"...tell her she should "experience it" with you.

Where's the MAN at here? You find her attractive? You flirt with her? Ask her what she's gonna wear on the date FOR YOU?

Ask her if she saw a quarter on the ground,would bend down and she pick it up. If she says yes,tell her if she wears a nice low-cut blouse on the date,you'll throw a whole round of quarters on the ground for her. Act like A MAN who's attracted to a woman. You come off like you're trying to win a woman over like they do in the movies,or like an episode of "The Bachelor"....with rose petals,moon light walks,etc,etc.


This ain't the movies...it's REAL LIFE.

Actually, not that he is, but his texts come off as a ****y a$$hole or someone who's trying way too hard. It should flow naturally. The stuff you are doing is move for Corky Romano and SNL bits. Not when you are trying to get a woman to give you a chance. I often say that modern women are good for two things out of the same hole, but I never said they were dumb.

You want to be a mature I do not give a fvck man. I used to crack jokes on a few dates to break the ice. Bad idea. Shows you cannot handle the pressure or silence. What I should had done was just drink my beer and look at her. I assure you, she would had broken the silence. Anyways, we all learn from our own and others mistakes. That's why where all here.

 

[flowtheory]

Ok.......I'm just gonna be STRAIGHT UP honest with you about this text exchange.

When I read it......I CRINGED. I wholeheartedly agree with what EyeBRollin said to you. With that said....

Dude.....what are you doin' here with this girl? There's a couple of things you need to understand. For one,

You are A STRANGER to her. Just because you two connected and were in the process of trying to set up a date doesn't change that.

All those questions she asked....she was trying to get to know you better...to get a better sense of who you are,but you wouldn't be serious. Like every question she asked,it seems like you kept trying to come up with some "zinger" or witty remark. It's hard to get to know someone when every answer out of their mouth come off as a joke or a comedy routine.

Again....you're a STRANGER. She asked what you wanted to do Thursday,you sent her emojis WITHOUT a serious response. Then you mentioned going for a walk on a seawall,she said it'd have to be around 8pm,you said "Twilight walks are my favorite".


YOU ARE A STRANGER. You think she's gonna feel comfortable walking around ALONE........A NIGHT with some guy she doesn't know? She was trying to get to know you,but you kept playing around. When you do that constantly,it can make someone suspicious of you. That's NOT what you want. Look at this....





She asked about Thursday,you say twilight walks are your favorite.



She asked what it's like living where you live.....

You say that's like asking an angel what heaven is like...




She asks what you like to do for fun....you say go on dates with english women.



She asks how often you do that,you say only on Thursdays.......just one smart alek remark after another. Not only can she not get to know you,but she probably thought all the joking and kidding you do through text,that'd you'd likely be like that on the date as well. Women want A MAN...not a comedian. You need to use the joking like a spice,like salt or pepper......just a dash here and there. You just kept laying it on.

You kinda come off as if you've read too many cheesy novels,or seen too many romantic movies. You talk about "adventure".....talk about the weather being "pictureasque",twilight walks,say the town where you live is like "heaven"...tell her she should "experience it" with you.

Where's the MAN at here? You find her attractive? You flirt with her? Ask her what she's gonna wear on the date FOR YOU?

Ask her if she saw a quarter on the ground,would bend down and she pick it up. If she says yes,tell her if she wears a nice low-cut blouse on the date,you'll throw a whole round of quarters on the ground for her. Act like A MAN who's attracted to a woman. You come off like you're trying to win a woman over like they do in the movies,or like an episode of "The Bachelor"....with rose petals,moon light walks,etc,etc.


This ain't the movies...it's REAL LIFE.

Cringe? Ah it’s not that bad. I thought we were supposed to be ‘hard to get’ in a way. I guess I’ve swung the pendulum too far over to one side. I’ll bring try to steady it towards the middle for next time.
I really appreciate the feedback though, man!
I do see what you mean. It’s just too much, I’ll dial it down 80% for my next potential plate and reserve the humour for when she knows my style.

 

[flowtheory]

Actually, not that he is, but his texts come off as a ****y a$$hole or someone who's trying way too hard. It should flow naturally. The stuff you are doing is move for Corky Romano and SNL bits. Not when you are trying to get a woman to give you a chance. I often say that modern women are good for two things out of the same hole, but I never said they were dumb.

You want to be a mature I do not give a fvck man. I used to crack jokes on a few dates to break the ice. Bad idea. Shows you cannot handle the pressure or silence. What I should had done was just drink my beer and look at her. I assure you, she would had broken the silence. Anyways, we all learn from our own and others mistakes. That's why where all here.

Thanks for the perspectives man. I do appreciate your input.
Next time I will dial the jokes back 80% via text and be a bit more serious.

I used answer questions straight up. And I felt I was being boring or something. Maybe that was just in my head?

 

[flowtheory]

Flow control, no disrespect, but how old are you?

Hahah why flow control.. Where did the ‘control’ come from?
I’m 29. How come?

 

[R.U.G.]

Thanks for the perspectives man. I do appreciate your input.
Next time I will dial the jokes back 80% via text and be a bit more serious.

I used answer questions straight up. And I felt I was being boring or something. Maybe that was just in my head?

Jokes do not come over well via text. Learn from me, unless you are a comedian, they do not want to hear your jokes. Don't laugh at them either. Looks bad. Did that two women ago. Damn shame too. She had a really nice ass, but a sh!tty apartment @ 36.

May be best to forget the jokes all along. Stop trying to impress her (been there) and just act like you care to learn about her. Always continue to example. Nod your head, say I see and true, agree, etc. Just to show you are following along. However, if you get a woman who is a mute, CHECK! It will be like pulling teeth from super glue. Ain't going to move. Save yourself the heartache.

Hahah why flow control.. Where did the ‘control’ come from?
I’m 29. How come?

You are learning to control your flow. Thus, flow control.

 

[flowtheory]

Okay just looked overall the texts between her and I and re-read this thread.

I see completely where things went array. It was when I got her number. I became different and started the comedy hour via text. Before on the OLD I was very much my normal self and she was eating that up. And my game was tight there.

When @Igetit! laid out the conversation play by play, I literally laughed out loud as I read my conversation as it sounded ridiculous — I imagined my character as someone on Seinfeld (Kenny Banyas character; the comedian who tries to be like Jerry.) haha

I’m learning so much through this forum and other outlets of red pill and game theory/thinking. So I’m trying so many different tactics to find that correct balance. And the pendulum is swinging all the ways. Have to let some opportunities smash during the rebuilding process I suppose.
I’m happy I messed this one up. Best way to learn.

 

[flowtheory]

Jokes do not come over well via text. Learn from me, unless you are a comedian, they do not want to hear your jokes. Don't laugh at them either. Looks bad. Did that two women ago. Damn shame too. She had a really nice ass, but a sh!tty apartment @ 36.

May be best to forget the jokes all along. Stop trying to impress her (been there) and just act like you care to learn about her. Always continue to example. Nod your head, say I see and true, agree, etc. Just to show you are following along. However, if you get a woman who is a mute, CHECK! It will be like pulling teeth from super glue. Ain't going to move. Save yourself the heartache.





You are learning to control your flow. Thus, flow control.

Don’t laugh or joke; you mean just over text right?

And flow control.. that’s smart. Hah