How the hell do most avg mid to late 20s men have dating lives???

Soflobro#2

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So with women you need to play with their emotions. Basically you need to behave in a manner that results in YOU feeling more secure then she does. This will make her feel you are above her. Women want to fvck dudes that are above them. This is just how it works. You can't have it both ways.
 

Soflobro#2

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You need to go live in a homeless shelter with nothing for a few months and then you'll know what it really feels like to feel worthless. Man you need more chaos in your life. Maybe even trauma. Because you've spent a lot of your life creating a comfort zone where you can just not have any challenges. You're job is easy for you right? You make fast money easily. This is not challenging yourself. Do you get what I'm saying?

I mean this specific point could be wrong, but based on everything you've said in this thread, that's how I see it. You can be handsome and jacked but still not be masculine.
 

bigdave17

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You need to go live in a homeless shelter with nothing for a few months and then you'll know what it really feels like to feel worthless. Man you need more chaos in your life. Maybe even trauma. Because you've spent a lot of your life creating a comfort zone where you can just not have any challenges. You're job is easy for you right? You make fast money easily. This is not challenging yourself. Do you get what I'm saying?

I mean this specific point could be wrong, but based on everything you've said in this thread, that's how I see it. You can be handsome and jacked but still not be masculine.
my life is incredibly easy...but I've created it all myself. My parents didn't have any money growing up. I started selling cars at 22 and I turned myself into one of the best car salesmen in my entire state through hard work and constantly training myself to get better and better and better and better. I was born in a 3rd world country for what it's worth

I also learned to be very good with money at a young age, to save as much as I could while still having a fantastic lifestyle. I taught myself to make every dollar stretch and to always make the most intelligent decisions financially. I also met my best friend when I was young, a guy who is worth about 15 million so I was able to have a fantastic lifestyle with him and we do all sorts of super fun stuff

do I have an amazingly easy and near perfect lifestyle? absolutely but it's not like I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I make 4 times more money than my dad ever made
 

Soflobro#2

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my life is incredibly easy...but I've created it all myself. My parents didn't have any money growing up. I started selling cars at 22 and I turned myself into one of the best car salesmen in my entire state through hard work and constantly training myself to get better and better and better and better. I was born in a 3rd world country for what it's worth

I also learned to be very good with money at a young age, to save as much as I could while still having a fantastic lifestyle. I taught myself to make every dollar stretch and to always make the most intelligent decisions financially. I also met my best friend when I was young, a guy who is worth about 15 million so I was able to have a fantastic lifestyle with him and we do all sorts of super fun stuff

do I have an amazingly easy and near perfect lifestyle? absolutely but it's not like I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I make 4 times more money than my dad ever made
I don't know what to tell you. None of these things you're claiming that give you an upper hand are doing anything for you. Obviously there is a different internal problem you need to fix.

You want an easy solution but that's not how it work.

The only thing you should be worried about is what's holding you back, not all the things that you think entitle you to what you want.
 

bigdave17

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I don't know what to tell you. None of these things you're claiming that give you an upper hand are doing anything for you. Obviously there is a different internal problem you need to fix.

You want an easy solution but that's not how it work.

The only thing you should be worried about is what's holding you back, not all the things that you think entitle you to what you want.
you asked a question, I answered it

Do I think I'm entitled to an amazing girlfriend? No dude I'm willing to talk to a woman, to take her out on dates and to have a great connection and hopefully a great relationship. I'm not asking to wake up tomorrow and have a beautiful woman in my bed without me doing anything. I don't understand why so many of you guys believe that's what I want.

I just don't see any ways of doing this that don't involve basically torture (cold approaching a 100 women to get 1 date out of it IS torture). I am willing to do online dating and message a 100 or even 200 women to get somebody quality out of it but I don't think I could message 10,000 women and get anything out of it simply because I'm not a top 0.01 percentile male. Attractive mid 20 women on these dating sites are getting 50,000 messages a day so being a 7 or even a 7.5 male is not good enough. You need to look like Chris Hemsworth to get a 7/10 on a dating site. I wish I could meet someone naturally through my daily routine but it just doesn't happen and it's so unbelievably frustrating. I think cold approaching is fukking horrible.

I don't even think my standards are that high BTW. I don't want a dime, I don't want a 9...I just want somebody about my league, a 7 to 8/10 who will age well (AKA ethnic woman like Italian or Spanish or middle eastern)
 

Soflobro#2

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you asked a question, I answered it

Do I think I'm entitled to an amazing girlfriend? No dude I'm willing to talk to a woman, to take her out on dates and to have a great connection and hopefully a great relationship. I'm not asking to wake up tomorrow and have a beautiful woman in my bed without me doing anything

I just don't see any ways of doing this that don't involve basically torture (cold approaching a 100 women to get 1 date out of it IS torture). I am willing to do online dating and message a 100 or even 200 women to get somebody quality out of it but I don't think I could message 10,000 women and get anything out of it simply because I'm not a top 0.01 percentile male. Attractive mid 20 women on these dating sites are getting 50,000 messages a day so being a 7 or even a 7.5 male is not good enough. You need to look like Chris Hemsworth to get a 7/10 on a dating site

I don't even think my standards are that high BTW. I don't want a dime, I don't want a 9...I just want somebody about my league, a 7 to 8/10 who will age well (AKA ethnic woman like Italian or Spanish or middle eastern)
It's called growing pains. Either go for it or avoid it.
 

Soflobro#2

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in regards to what?
Any discomfort you may feel while getting what you want. You need to just figure out a way. That's the best answer you could get. You have all the information you need already.
 

Soflobro#2

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Also what happens if you get the kind of women you want and you still feel insecure and incomplete?

Maybe this is counter intuitive. It's not even about the women. It's about your mindset. When you fix your mindset you'll be ok with being alone, you won't be worrying so much about feeling accepted by women, and when this happens the women will come easier.

You see how that works? You are desperate and women can see this.
 

Soflobro#2

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Understand also the dude in the videos understands what hes talking about so well because he probably really struggled with it in the past. In one of his videos he admits he used to be a beta afc.

Think about it. He was as bad or worse then you but now he's not. Do you think it camw easily to him? Nope. He probably struggled but persevered and slowly gained the confidence he has now.

He unfvcked his mind and now it's so crystal clear that he's on YouTube litterally preaching to help others, but only because the more men that internalize these concepts the easier it will ultimately make it for him. In a way he's doing it for a selfish reason.

If you're such a loyal, selfless good person, unfvck your mind for us. So we might have a little less fvckery in our lives from women.

(I'm trying to say you're not alone and you need to get over yourself)
 

bigdave17

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Also what happens if you get the kind of women you want and you still feel insecure and incomplete?

Maybe this is counter intuitive. It's not even about the women. It's about your mindset. When you fix your mindset you'll be ok with being alone, you won't be worrying so much about feeling accepted by women, and when this happens the women will come easier.

You see how that works? You are desperate and women can see this.

I don't feel incomplete. I don't need a woman to fix my life. I'm very very happy with my life

To make a medical analogy, I'm like a very healthy person with a small tumor in 1 isolated area. You remove the tumor (the loneliness I feel because I've had zero dating experience of any real value my whole life) and I'm 100% healthy
 

Soflobro#2

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I don't feel incomplete. I don't need a woman to fix my life. I'm very very happy with my life

To make a medical analogy, I'm like a very healthy person with a small tumor in 1 isolated area. You remove the tumor (the loneliness I feel because I've had zero dating experience of any real value my whole life) and I'm 100% healthy
How many relationships have you had? Ever lived with a woman before (it sucks)? What's your longest relationship?
 

Soflobro#2

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I don't feel incomplete. I don't need a woman to fix my life. I'm very very happy with my life

To make a medical analogy, I'm like a very healthy person with a small tumor in 1 isolated area. You remove the tumor (the loneliness I feel because I've had zero dating experience of any real value my whole life) and I'm 100% healthy
You don't seem happy at all. You seem like you feel something is missing from your life and you think its women. I could be wrong.
 

Soflobro#2

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This thread could go on for another 50 pages and when it's over with, you're going to be rhe same as you were before you created it.
This means you're focusing on the wrong thing. You need to figure out what is holding you back and change it. Otherwise you're just spinning your wheels and getting NOWHERE.

I understand men like to analyze chit and want a solution. I do it too. But you're just talking and sometimes complaining instead of finding a solution.
 

bigdave17

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How many relationships have you had? Ever lived with a woman before (it sucks)? What's your longest relationship?
0

I've wanted a girlfriend since I was 16

I've slept with maybe 10-14 women but they've all been 50 leagues below my league - the usual garbage - single moms, some were chubby, couple were mediocre in the face, 1 was a heavy smoker, some were way too old (30+), etc...
 

Fzatf

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I've wanted a girlfriend since I was 16

I've slept with maybe 10-14 women but they've all been 50 leagues below my league - the usual garbage - single moms, some were chubby, couple were mediocre in the face, 1 was a heavy smoker, some were way too old (30+), etc...
You don't want the easier girls who are into you and that's fine; however, you only have yourself to blame for not dating in your own league. You don't approach. You don't try OLD. You just make excuses as to why it won't work and don't even put in any effort. You don't have any balls yet you whine about how bad the market is. The truth is other guys do date women in their league by putting themselves out there.

I'm a 5-6 and date 5-6's online without too much trouble. I could probably date 7's if I approached in real life but I stick to OLD because it's easy. I use to ask myself if I was even good enough to date within my own league but I got over it and started messaging girls I match on tinder.

You're getting in your own way. Make an OLD profile on tinder and swipe right on girls you like until you match. This takes very little effort. You should approach girls in bars, clubs, and in the real world too but you don't have the balls. Try OLD for a solid month and see what it's actually like rather than assuming it won't work.
 
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bigdave17

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You don't want the easier girls who are into you and that's fine; however, you only have yourself to blame for not dating in your own league. You don't approach. You don't try OLD. You just make excuses as to why it won't work and don't even put in any effort. You don't have any balls yet you whine about how bad the market is. The truth is other guys do date women in their league by putting themselves out there.

I'm a 5-6 and date 5-6's online without too much trouble. I could probably date 7's if I approached in real life but I stick to OLD because it's easy. I use to ask myself if I was even good enough to date within my own league but I got over it and started messaging girls I match on tinder.

You're getting in your own way. Make an OLD profile on tinder and swipe right on girls you like until you match. This takes very little effort. You should approach girls in bars, clubs, and in the real world too but you don't have the balls. Try OLD for a solid month and see what it's actually like rather than assuming it won't work.
the problem for me is I'm a 7-8 in real life but only really a 5-6 in pics...a male 5-6 on a dating site wanting a 7-8 female is in a very very difficult group. Women who are 5's online can easily ask for (and usually get) male 8s because dating is so incredibly biased in their favor but the opposite of that...I can't even imagine how difficult that would be

and I wouldn't do tinder, I would do match/eharmony/etc... I want to know everything about the other person. The more info I know, the better.
 
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