Designer Man
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2018
- Messages
- 171
- Reaction score
- 47
- Age
- 38
Hello, I'm new here and signed up for thoughts and advice. I'll post as much information as possible about what has and is happening:
I met my girlfiend in 2015. It has been almost 3 years together. I am 33 and she is 43. She has a child from a previous relationship and the child is 6 years old.
When we first met we dated and done the regular usual dating stuff. We would see each other every few weeks but she wanted to see me more in the first few months but I could only meet up once every 2/3 weeks due to other commitments in my life at the time. After the first 6 months, we wasn't serious and would see each other about once per week. It worked for me but she wanted me to come around a bit more, have dinner etc, so I did.
I met her child after 6 months and we seemed to hit it off well. I am very child friendly and would play games and spend time with her. Now we were seeing each other more and spending more time together, after what seemed a slow start, we began progressing and I would stay over a few weekends and see her a few times during the week for a few hours.
We booked a holiday for that summer for the 3 of us and we had a great time. It was after this holiday I fell completely in love and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman. Things were going great and we were developing a great family dynamic.
We got back from holiday and after a couple of months (Sept 2016) I noticed small changes. I was very open with my feelings and told her how I felt and how much I love her she told me she felt the same but I started to let my insecurities get the better of me. I became jealous of her daughter's father and began to accuse my partner for having feelings for him and asked if she was going to get back with him. She kept telling me no but this behaviour from myself began to slowly push her away. She started to become a bit off with me over the next few months and to explain my partner, she is not the most communicative, not the most affectionate and is not the type to express her feelings. I wear my heart on my sleeve - she keeps her feelings hidden.
My insecurities got worse and I would question her feelings and whether she loved me. I had no idea because she wouldn't communicate her feelings and towards the end of 2016 I had moved in with her and started to notice changes.
We were very sexual in the beginning and thrived on a good sex life. Up until the point I moved in we would have sex every day. It started to become less around the start of 2017 and went from every day to around 3-4 times per week. We both had busy lives working and she would feel stressed out over finances and tended to worry over things but she kept them to herself. I was still insecure and was in danger of destroying the relationship.
In the first half of 2017 she wanted more from me in terms of cleaning and doing things around the house. I believe I done my fair share, I looked after her child and would walk her dogs when she was working if I was off. I played the role of a father figure to her child and would pick her up and take her to school if my partner was unable to. I would take her to the park, to play centres, to fair grounds, to see my family etc. In my belief I feel I was pulling my weight around the house but she would complain and say she is fed up of tidying after me and doing my laundry. I offered to do it myself but she said no, she will do it.
I had a great bond with her child and seen her as my own. My partner was more stand offish and found it stressful to live with me. We were arguing a lot more over silly things and an opportunity for me to work overseas for 3 months came along so I took it.
Whilst I was away we kept in contact and she realised how much I meant to her and that she was missing me. She realised what she had. We argued from time to time when I was away over basically small things like she seemed uninterested at times to speak with me. I came back in December 2017 and things went well for a couple of months.
About February 2018 we were arguing more and more and seemed to be like passing ships. I was still helping her out around the home and was looking after the child regularly. In March 2018 it was as if we disliked each other, we were lucky to have sex once a week and we mutually agreed I should move out at the end of March but still remain in a relationship.
I moved out and found a new place to live. It has been a week since I moved and I have found It very difficult. Being away from my partner and her child has killed me and I have gone from having the family life to waking up in a room by myself.
I feel my bond with her child will be destroyed as I may only see them once or twice a week. I taught her how to ride a bike, helped with homework and loved spending my time with her. I feel empty and choked. It has been an upsetting week.
My partners communication has died off a bit and would appear very distant in texting and talking. I asked her if our relationship was still serious and she replied "I still want to see you."
I asked her if she is in love with me and she replied "I think so."
The reason I ask her these questions is because she would never tell me otherwise. I am seeing her tonight and fear I'm going to tell her how I'm feeling and push her away even further. My plan is to go there tonight and try to act cool. Don't tell her how I feel and try and be positive. I feel the need to regain her interest and stop appearing needy.
I have asked her this week if I can come back to which she replied "We can't live together"
We will never live together again and she feels our relationship would be better if we lived apart. .
She isn't seeing anyone else, I can guarantee that. I just think my insecure behaviour killed her attraction.
I text her last night "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you"
Her reply: "I'll see you tonight"
I met my girlfiend in 2015. It has been almost 3 years together. I am 33 and she is 43. She has a child from a previous relationship and the child is 6 years old.
When we first met we dated and done the regular usual dating stuff. We would see each other every few weeks but she wanted to see me more in the first few months but I could only meet up once every 2/3 weeks due to other commitments in my life at the time. After the first 6 months, we wasn't serious and would see each other about once per week. It worked for me but she wanted me to come around a bit more, have dinner etc, so I did.
I met her child after 6 months and we seemed to hit it off well. I am very child friendly and would play games and spend time with her. Now we were seeing each other more and spending more time together, after what seemed a slow start, we began progressing and I would stay over a few weekends and see her a few times during the week for a few hours.
We booked a holiday for that summer for the 3 of us and we had a great time. It was after this holiday I fell completely in love and knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman. Things were going great and we were developing a great family dynamic.
We got back from holiday and after a couple of months (Sept 2016) I noticed small changes. I was very open with my feelings and told her how I felt and how much I love her she told me she felt the same but I started to let my insecurities get the better of me. I became jealous of her daughter's father and began to accuse my partner for having feelings for him and asked if she was going to get back with him. She kept telling me no but this behaviour from myself began to slowly push her away. She started to become a bit off with me over the next few months and to explain my partner, she is not the most communicative, not the most affectionate and is not the type to express her feelings. I wear my heart on my sleeve - she keeps her feelings hidden.
My insecurities got worse and I would question her feelings and whether she loved me. I had no idea because she wouldn't communicate her feelings and towards the end of 2016 I had moved in with her and started to notice changes.
We were very sexual in the beginning and thrived on a good sex life. Up until the point I moved in we would have sex every day. It started to become less around the start of 2017 and went from every day to around 3-4 times per week. We both had busy lives working and she would feel stressed out over finances and tended to worry over things but she kept them to herself. I was still insecure and was in danger of destroying the relationship.
In the first half of 2017 she wanted more from me in terms of cleaning and doing things around the house. I believe I done my fair share, I looked after her child and would walk her dogs when she was working if I was off. I played the role of a father figure to her child and would pick her up and take her to school if my partner was unable to. I would take her to the park, to play centres, to fair grounds, to see my family etc. In my belief I feel I was pulling my weight around the house but she would complain and say she is fed up of tidying after me and doing my laundry. I offered to do it myself but she said no, she will do it.
I had a great bond with her child and seen her as my own. My partner was more stand offish and found it stressful to live with me. We were arguing a lot more over silly things and an opportunity for me to work overseas for 3 months came along so I took it.
Whilst I was away we kept in contact and she realised how much I meant to her and that she was missing me. She realised what she had. We argued from time to time when I was away over basically small things like she seemed uninterested at times to speak with me. I came back in December 2017 and things went well for a couple of months.
About February 2018 we were arguing more and more and seemed to be like passing ships. I was still helping her out around the home and was looking after the child regularly. In March 2018 it was as if we disliked each other, we were lucky to have sex once a week and we mutually agreed I should move out at the end of March but still remain in a relationship.
I moved out and found a new place to live. It has been a week since I moved and I have found It very difficult. Being away from my partner and her child has killed me and I have gone from having the family life to waking up in a room by myself.
I feel my bond with her child will be destroyed as I may only see them once or twice a week. I taught her how to ride a bike, helped with homework and loved spending my time with her. I feel empty and choked. It has been an upsetting week.
My partners communication has died off a bit and would appear very distant in texting and talking. I asked her if our relationship was still serious and she replied "I still want to see you."
I asked her if she is in love with me and she replied "I think so."
The reason I ask her these questions is because she would never tell me otherwise. I am seeing her tonight and fear I'm going to tell her how I'm feeling and push her away even further. My plan is to go there tonight and try to act cool. Don't tell her how I feel and try and be positive. I feel the need to regain her interest and stop appearing needy.
I have asked her this week if I can come back to which she replied "We can't live together"
We will never live together again and she feels our relationship would be better if we lived apart. .
She isn't seeing anyone else, I can guarantee that. I just think my insecure behaviour killed her attraction.
I text her last night "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you"
Her reply: "I'll see you tonight"