Relationship has dwindled and I need to regain that spark again

[ohrein]

Thanks for all your replies.

Last night went well. I met her around 4pm in the park. She was with her child and walking the dogs, I turned up and the child was excited to see me. I took her on the play apparatus for 20 minutes before we left to go and have dinner.

She got out of the shower later than evening and I began kissing her softly and caressing her naked body. I then left it at that. Later that night we got into bed and I began teasing her by running myself against her and running my hands all over her body. We then had sex and she was absolutely soaking. It turned out to be a good night. I stayed over and will have breakfast before going home.

As Spaz said, if you're not adjusting your behaviour, you will be back here. Just read the material now and start learning. You don't have to put any of it into practice if you don't want, but at least read it with an open mind. Wishing you all the best, friend. We're here if you need us.

 

[The Diver]

Thanks for all your replies.

Last night went well. I met her around 4pm in the park. She was with her child and walking the dogs, I turned up and the child was excited to see me. I took her on the play apparatus for 20 minutes before we left to go and have dinner.

She got out of the shower later than evening and I began kissing her softly and caressing her naked body. I then left it at that. Later that night we got into bed and I began teasing her by running myself against her and running my hands all over her body. We then had sex and she was absolutely soaking. It turned out to be a good night. I stayed over and will have breakfast before going home.

You came here asking for help, but then totally ignored all the advices given to you by the top experience advisers on here. You're an a*ss, and almost certainly doomed to failure.

"Smart man learns from his own mistakes while Smarter man learn from others people mistakes".

 

[R.U.G.]

Thanks for all your replies.

Last night went well. I met her around 4pm in the park. She was with her child and walking the dogs, I turned up and the child was excited to see me. I took her on the play apparatus for 20 minutes before we left to go and have dinner.

She got out of the shower later than evening and I began kissing her softly and caressing her naked body. I then left it at that. Later that night we got into bed and I began teasing her by running myself against her and running my hands all over her body. We then had sex and she was absolutely soaking. It turned out to be a good night. I stayed over and will have breakfast before going home.

Your lost bro. You cannot see the light through the woods.

 

[Designer Man]

Your lost bro. You cannot see the light through the woods.

I am lost. I genuinely do not know how to act.

If I act like I don't care about her she will just leave me. It won't make her more interested.

If I become aloof she will just carry on. She has a busy life to worry if I'm interested in her or not.

 

[R.U.G.]

I am lost. I genuinely do not know how to act.

If I act like I don't care about her she will just leave me. It won't make her more interested.

If I become aloof she will just carry on. She has a busy life to worry if I'm interested in her or not.

Bro, the one who cares the least about the relationship has the power. This is clearly her, and she knows this. SHE is the used up person in the relationship. How can you not see this? Unless she's going to be a sugar mommy and is incredibly hot, what man worth his salt would put up with her? She knows she has you wrapped around her finger and controlled by her pvssy. You need to STOP IT. Call her, text her or talk to her you need a break to settle things in your head then go no contact. You need to fix yourself, not her. One cannot fix another person, only they can fix themselves. Stop being Mr. Save A Hoe. There are nearly 7.5 billion people on this rock called Earth. More than half are female. You do not have a gold mine or a diamond in the rough. Take the reins and get your sh!t together. Or, she will leave you anyway as you are very beta and borderline cuck. You can be saved and you can right the ship, but only you can do it.

Nothing worth doing in life is easy. A life worth living is hard.

 

[Designer Man]

Bro, the one who cares the least about the relationship has the power. This is clearly her, and she knows this. SHE is the used up person in the relationship. How can you not see this? Unless she's going to be a sugar mommy and is incredibly hot, what man worth his salt would put up with her? She knows she has you wrapped around her finger and controlled by her pvssy. You need to STOP IT. Call her, text her or talk to her you need a break to settle things in your head then go no contact. You need to fix yourself, not her. One cannot fix another person, only they can fix themselves. Stop being Mr. Save A Hoe. There are nearly 7.5 billion people on this rock called Earth. More than half are female. You do not have a gold mine or a diamond in the rough. Take the reins and get your sh!t together. Or, she will leave you anyway as you are very beta and borderline cuck. You can be saved and you can right the ship, but only you can do it.

Nothing worth doing in life is easy. A life worth living is hard.

Ok so let's say I cut her off and go no contact. Then what? I work on myself, keep myself looking good, and wake up every morning alone and nobody to spend my time with?

Let's say I meet someone else and end up in a relationship, do I act like I don't care then? Surely any woman will not put up with that type of treatment. I thought just being my funny nice self would be enough?

Basically, do I just go through my life treating women like rubbish?

 

[R.U.G.]

Ok so let's say I cut her off and go no contact. Then what? I work on myself, keep myself looking good, and wake up every morning alone and nobody to spend my time with?

Let's say I meet someone else and end up in a relationship, do I act like I don't care then? Surely any woman will not put up with that type of treatment. I thought just being my funny nice self would be enough?

Basically, do I just go through my life treating women like rubbish?

Focus on your purpose in life. Work on yourself. Find other women to date and have sex with. When a woman breaks up with a man, what they call them? An a$$hole, prick, d!ck, etc. You know what that guy had but you don't? Her pvssy. Women are attracted to a$$holes and men who do not give two craps whether she stays, lays, prays or strays. Point being, men usually date at the same level or down. Women usually date up. When you are not available to them, they start to wonder. 97% of modern men trip over themselves when they have a new woman in their life. That is the wrong way to proceed. You are to be mysterious and aloof. They start to wonder and want you more. Being nice and funny is great... As long as your goal is no pvssy and friendzone. If you actually want a sexual relationship, you need to act like you do not give a fvck and live your life on your purpose. Think of it this way... If you feel you should do something for a woman you are sexually interested in, do the opposite. Many of us on this forum also thought like you due to conditioning by society. It is not what women want. It goes back to protection and evolution. They want a man who can protect them, not a soy boy.

 

[Designer Man]

Focus on your purpose in life. Work on yourself. Find other women to date and have sex with. When a woman breaks up with a man, what they call them? An a$$hole, prick, d!ck, etc. You know what that guy had but you don't? Her pvssy. Women are attracted to a$$holes and men who do not give two craps whether she stays, lays, prays or strays. Point being, men usually date at the same level or down. Women usually date up. When you are not available to them, they start to wonder. 97% of modern men trip over themselves when they have a new woman in their life. That is the wrong way to proceed. You are to be mysterious and aloof. They start to wonder and want you more. Being nice and funny is great... As long as your goal is no pvssy and friendzone. If you actually want a sexual relationship, you need to act like you do not give a fvck and live your life on your purpose. Think of it this way... If you feel you should do something for a woman you are sexually interested in, do the opposite. Many of us on this forum also thought like you due to conditioning by society. It is not what women want. It goes back to protection and evolution. They want a man who can protect them, not a soy boy.

In the first y months or so of the relationship she said there was something that attracted her to me. I had an air of mystery about me. Not sure what I done exactly but I sort of acted aloof. I Was great in her company but as soon as I went home I would let her contact me and not answer her calls. I think she loved it. Now, because we have been together for 3 years, the mysterious has gone. Is this something I should try to bring back?

 

[Fzatf]

In the first y months or so of the relationship she said there was something that attracted her to me. I had an air of mystery about me. Not sure what I done exactly but I sort of acted aloof. I Was great in her company but as soon as I went home I would let her contact me and not answer her calls. I think she loved it. Now, because we have been together for 3 years, the mysterious has gone. Is this something I should try to bring back?

I recommend taking the advice of taking a break from her. No contact and make her miss you. Long term if she doesn't want to live with you and is unappreciative of what you do and nags for you to do more you should probably move on.

Based on your posts you're not going to take the advice that you've been given. At least read the dj bible and consider reading The Rational Male as suggested. If you want to make this relationship work you need to change. I was in a relationship with an older single mom who stopped appreciating what I did and it killed our relationship.

Once you lose the respect you've lost the woman. Your relationship is doomed to fail as you are. The reason you receive the suggestion to spin plates is that you need to experience an abundance mentality. Once you realize that your girlfriend isn't that special nor is your relationship worth saving, you can move on. At least your attitude should change and your girl won't sense that you are as needy as you were before.

 

[Fzatf]

If you won't date other woman you're putting all your eggs in one basket for a woman who doesn't even want to live with you.

Keep the relationship going if you must, but you have to do serious work to regain frame, change your attitude, and make your girl respect you again.

A break in the relationship while you do the suggested reading and apply it can go a long way.

 

[sazc]

You should propose to her and marry her, ASAP

 

[R.U.G.]

In the first y months or so of the relationship she said there was something that attracted her to me. I had an air of mystery about me. Not sure what I done exactly but I sort of acted aloof. I Was great in her company but as soon as I went home I would let her contact me and not answer her calls. I think she loved it. Now, because we have been together for 3 years, the mysterious has gone. Is this something I should try to bring back?

Yea, that would be a good start. You're too available and at her beck and call. No woman really wants a doormat. They want what they cannot have. They want a challenge. You are familiar and no longer a challenge. If/when she or another woman calls, spend only 10 - 15 mins. tops on the phone with them, then you have to go. Respond to her or any woman's text 20 mins - hour later depending on time of day. If you were just with her and she texted she had a great time, you cannot wait an hour to respond. That would look like you are waiting to respond on purpose. But if she texts you during the day at work, wait and hour or two then reply. Also, if she or another woman texts or calls you after 9pm, leave the phone alone until the morning. If she asks you, you went to bed or dozed off. The point being YOU are the priority, not her in any relationship.

 

[Dash Riprock]

No disrespect to the OP, because it would be like getting mad at Bambi, but if SoSuave.com was a hospital, OP would need to be rushed to the ER and prepped for immediate surgery for a massive overdose of Blue Pills. I re-read the his first post and thought there's no way a man can think and act like that and still think the women will find him attractive, desirable, and well, manly. I think he honestly believes it's better to be beta and a doormat rather than be alone with dignity and self respect. I respect all opinions, even if I don't agree with them, but this one...WOW.

 

[Spaz]

You should propose to her and marry her, ASAP

......

 

[Designer Man]

She asked me to go to her house later today but shall I wait for her to text first?

We are going to a party together on Sunday, shall I still go?

 

[Designer Man]

I'm struggling with the dj bible and Corey's manual. They are more aimed at people starting new relationships not people who are knee deep in one.

I can't see any chapters for men who are in a relationship that need to regain their interest. Plus, my woman is not the type of woman to fall for these things. She Is a tough, independent strong character who likes to be in control. She isn't the lovey dovey type who melts at flowers or if I ignore her for a few days She will more likely think "forget him then" rather than "why isn't he calling?"

She has a heart made of stone.

 

[Desdinova]

Ohhhh man. There's so much to comment on here. Let's start...

I can't see any chapters for men who are in a relationship that need to regain their interest.

There's a reason why there are no chapters in the DJ Bible on fixing the relationship... It's because 99% of the time it isn't worth it. If there was a genuine, effective way to fix a damaged relationship, I would have put it in the DJ Bible.

She Is a tough, independent strong character who likes to be in control. She isn't the lovey dovey type who melts at flowers or if I ignore her for a few days

Here's something you need to learn... ALL women are much more functional and loyal when they're doing feminine things. The only reason your ex likes being in control is because you are NOT the one who's in control. There was a point in your relationship when you gave her all the control. Women genuinely want a man who can control them and lead them in life. You haven't been a leader in your relationship. You've been a follower.

I am 33 and she is 43. She has a child from a previous relationship and the child is 6 years old.

This is already bad. By the time a woman reaches age 25, she's already set in her ways. There is absolutely no way for an older woman to conform to your lifestyle because she's well adapted to her own, and already has decades of dating experience to be jaded towards men.

Here's what's interesting... Her kid is 6 years old and she's 43. That means she had that child at age 37. She consciously decided to start a family with a specific man at that point. Why is she no longer with him? Why did it take her so long to want to start a family? Why do you think you're going to be the one who is the exception to all the men she's fvcked over the past 25 years? Why is she going to stay with YOU after all her failed relationships for over two decades?

The answer is: She won't stay with you. You're just another number like the rest of the men who've put their c0ck inside her vagina.

I started to let my insecurities get the better of me. I became jealous of her daughter's father and began to accuse my partner for having feelings for him and asked if she was going to get back with him.

This isn't an insecurity. This is a perfectly normal male reaction to having other men sniffing around on what you've claimed to be your territory. The problem is, when you date older women, they usually have a LOT of men sniffing around her vagina. This is why you date younger women who don't have decades of orbiters (or baby daddies) hanging around. Younger women have the tenancy to be more loyal because they're more inexperienced and less jaded.

It has been a week since I moved and I have found It very difficult. Being away from my partner and her child has killed me and I have gone from having the family life to waking up in a room by myself.

The lesson to learn here is: Single moms are NOT good relationship material. They're used up, worn out, and only good for a casual fvck.

You've been set free from a worn-out woman who doesn't give two 5hits about the men she dates. Take your freedom and run with it. Man, when I was older than you, I was dating women who were under 25. Go find yourself one of those and you'll start to appreciate the fact that things didn't work out with that old bag you were seeing.

 

[Igetit!]

I'm struggling with the dj bible and Corey's manual. They are more aimed at people starting new relationships not people who are knee deep in one.

I can't see any chapters for men who are in a relationship that need to regain their interest.

Dude here......

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...ing-to-a-womans-emotions.156533/#post-1550301


THAT can help get your relationship back on track,that is,if the chick at least has some interest left in you. If she has none at all,it won't.

I read your thread. The problem here.....is YOU.

You behave WEAK...needy,clingy....you go to her for your sense of self. You ask her about how she feels about you,about the relationship....constantly worrying if she loves you or not.

You say that you've become a father-figure to her daughter,that you treat her as if she were your own. Ok,question......

Do you worry about how this child feels about you?

Do you constantly keep hounding and asking her if you're being a good role-model,if you're being a good father to her?

Do you ever wonder if she's gonna want some other guy to do fatherly things with her and kick you to the curb? No?

So you're secure in your relationship with her.....

THAT'S HOW YOU NEED TO BE WITH THIS WOMAN. If this thing falls apart and runs off into the ditch,it'll be because YOU ran it there.


This woman IS NOT responsible for your SELF-esteem.....YOU ARE. Nothing she can say or do will make you secure,you have to find that in YOURSELF. And again I want to CLEAR......

Based on everything you said in your original post.......YOU ARE responsible for the relationship being in danger of ending. So if it ends,you have ONLY YOURSELF to blame. You said it yourself......

"I was very open with my feelings and told her how I felt and how much I love her she told me she felt the same but I started to let my insecurities get the better of me. I BECAME JEALOUS of her daughter's father and BEGAN TO ACCUSE my partner for having feelings for him and asked if she was going to get back with him. She kept telling me no but THIS BEHAVIOR FROM MYSELF began to slowly push her away."

Unless you change ALL of the above,nothing anyone here says will be of any help.

Again...the link I gave you CAN help to turn things around,but even it will be useless unless you get your act together and stop being a WEAK,SPINELESS,needy,insecure wimp of a man,and be the KING your woman deserves to have.


You DON'T NEED to have a talk or conversation with her in order to fix this.

The ONLY WAY to turn this around is to have a conversation standing in front of A MIRROR.

That...and THAT ALONE will fix this.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

I'm struggling with the dj bible and Corey's manual. They are more aimed at people starting new relationships not people who are knee deep in one.

I can't see any chapters for men who are in a relationship that need to regain their interest. Plus, my woman is not the type of woman to fall for these things. She Is a tough, independent strong character who likes to be in control. She isn't the lovey dovey type who melts at flowers or if I ignore her for a few days She will more likely think "forget him then" rather than "why isn't he calling?"

She has a heart made of stone.

Why in the name of god would you choose to be with a woman who has “a heart made of stone”?

Dude, sack the fvck up and drop her.

-Augustus-

 

[Glassguy]

The ONLY way you can save this is to preemptively break up with her.

Just call her and tell her you need a break and that you shouldn't speak to each other for a few weeks while you "think things over." Be brief and be gone. NO CONTACT, got it? Her kid is not your kid. Don't give in to her whining, crying, or trying to lure you into loooong drawn out emotional "talk" that women LOVE to do.

This works 80+% of the time and, considering all the beta moves you displayed over the last three years, is really your only hope. BUT you must maintain frame and distance.

Based on what you wrote I really doubt you can execute this but, Good luck.

Best advice on this thread. I can assure you that if you do this, it will work out best for YOU. Most of the time, as you "take your break to think about things", if you have started talking to other women (which you certainly should) you will not only see how bad this relationship was getting, but more than likely take interest in a couple more chicks. Its at that point, when you have options, you will not want to revisit this mess of a relationship again.

Its not a lack of quality women out there that prevents most guys on here from finding a solid woman. Its their inability to let go of the toxic relationship, get their balls back and go out on the prowl and hitting up new chicks.