SILENCE and DISTANCE

[guru1000]

The strongest weapon in your artillery is knowing when and how to apply silence and distance (and in some cases disappearance).

Girl flakes on a date. Silence and disappearance.

Girl declines with no counteroffer or changes the subject in response to your date offer. Silence and disappearance.

Girl accuses you of using her as a FB or pushes for exclusivity. Silence and distance.

Girl gives you an inappropriate attitude, a snide or disrespectful remark. Silence and distance.

I cannot tell you how the number of instances I have experienced of women backpedaling in the above contexts following my employing silence and distance/disappearance.

In any social situation you find yourself in, when a girl oversteps her bounds, silence and distance/disappearance, if employed correctly, will tip the frame into your favor assuming there is just enough interest on her end.

You will not lose frame by employing silence and distance/disappearance, but you can lose frame by reacting or by responding incorrectly.

Silence and distance create room for her imagination to ignite, engage her fight or flight response, and incite her second-guessing and backpedaling.

Silence and distance forge “the” frame in your favor and set the precedence that you WILL walk away if you are not content with her behavior.

Silence and distance send the message that you are accepting of only her best behavior and if she has a grievance to raise the issue overtly for discussion as opposed to undermining you.

Silence and distance amplify attraction, as attraction is built not in the time spent together, but in time spent apart.

Silence and distance allow you to gauge her emotional investment because if she doesn’t reach out to you, she merits no further engagement.

Silence and distance set boundaries covertly, so that she doesn’t feel ordered and resentful that you are controlling/commanding her as she might by overt boundaries.

Silence and distance are not game playing. You are responding covertly to behavior you deem unfitting which sends the message louder and clearer than any possible overt response.

Silence and distance are not to be confused with avoiding clear communication but rather to be used only when a girl commits an act that is unmistakably tasteless or disrespectful to any observer.

Silence and distance, in the right context, are the single most powerful act you can commit in your relations with women.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

The strongest weapon in your artillery is knowing when and how to apply silence and distance (and in some cases disappearance).

Girl flakes on a date. Silence and disappearance.

Girl declines with no counteroffer or changes the subject in response to your date offer. Silence and disappearance.

Girl accuses you of using her as a FB or pushes for exclusivity. Silence and distance.

Girl gives you an inappropriate attitude, a snide or disrespectful remark. Silence and distance.

I cannot tell you how the number of instances I have experienced of women backpedaling in the above contexts following my employing silence and distance/disappearance.

In any social situation you find yourself in, when a girl oversteps her bounds, silence and distance/disappearance, if employed correctly, will tip the frame into your favor assuming there is just enough interest on her end.

You will not lose frame by employing silence and distance/disappearance, but you can lose frame by reacting or by responding incorrectly.

Silence and distance creates room for her imagination to ignite, engages her fight or flight response, and will incite her second-guessing and backpedaling.

Silence and distance forges “the” frame in your favor and sets the precedence that you WILL walk away if you are not content with her behavior.

Silence and distance send the message that you are accepting of only her best behavior and if she has an issue that bothers her, to bring the issue overtly for discussion as opposed to undermining you.

Silence and distance amplifies attraction, as attraction is built not in the time spent with each other, but in time spent apart.

Silence and distance allow you to gauge her emotional investment because if she doesn’t reach out to you, she merits no further engagement.

Silence and distance sets boundaries covertly, so that she doesn’t feel ordered and resentful that you are controlling/commanding her as she might by overt boundaries.

Silence and distance is not game playing. You are responding covertly to behavior you deem unfitting which sends the message louder and clearer than any possible overt response.

Silence and distance is not to be confused with avoiding clear communication but rather to be used only when a girl commits an act that is unmistakably tasteless or disrespectful to any observer.

Silence and distance, in the right context, is the single most powerful act you can commit in your relations with women.

One time a girl robbed me electronically on SA. So I looked her up on Facebook and told all her family and friends that she prostitutes herself. I sent screenshots of texts of her saying all kinds of things she's willing to do for money.

Hahahaha.

I even called the police anonymously before I did it to make sure it couldn't be considered stalking.

Then, I sent the info to the management of her apartment complex to try to get her evicted. They said they would forward it to their "legal team." Who knows what happened.

 

[youngprodigy]

This works really well cause it makes the girl think you’re turned off rather than emotionally hurt. Turning a guy off is a huge hit for a girl cause it’s make them doubt their worth.

Excellent post.

 

[Serenity]

Silence and distance gives them space to think. Why don't I hear from him? Was I mean? Why doesn't he react like most dudes? Do I not matter? It spins their hamsters. So many questions, no answers and a burning curiosity. Many cannot resist the temptation of finding out, so they reach out.

The meta of this is that you control the frame. You will not tolerate being treated badly or ignored and thus remove yourself from a situation there's nothing to gain from. You only take part if there's something in it for you, anything else would be foolish. There's many fools out there though.

 

[Trump]

The strongest weapon in your artillery is knowing when and how to apply silence and distance (and in some cases disappearance).

Girl flakes on a date. Silence and disappearance.

Girl declines with no counteroffer or changes the subject in response to your date offer. Silence and disappearance.

Girl accuses you of using her as a FB or pushes for exclusivity. Silence and distance.

Girl gives you an inappropriate attitude, a snide or disrespectful remark. Silence and distance.

Silence and distance are not to be confused with avoiding clear communication but rather to be used only when a girl commits an act that is unmistakably tasteless or disrespectful to any observer.

Silence and distance, in the right context, are the single most powerful act you can commit in your relations with women.

I don’t know bro, I think

If you don’t response to a girl flaking on you, it’s as if you are a dumb guy.

If you don’t respond to a girl insulting you, it’s as if you are a dumb guy.

If you don’t respond to a girl changing the subject, it’s as if you are a dumb guy.


Personally I like to confront the issue rather than silence and distance, but to each his own.

 

[way2smart]

The strongest weapon in your artillery is knowing when and how to apply silence and distance (and in some cases disappearance).



Girl gives you an inappropriate attitude, a snide or disrespectful remark. Silence and distance.

I disagree with this. So a girl disrespects you and says something nasty and you just go and silently disappear like a p*ussy? That's a sign of a weak or absent frame. That's a sign of nonexistent boundaries. You have to let your girl know your boundaries and the way to do that is by telling her when she disrespects you. If she does it again despite your warnings that's when you can employ silence.

Silence and distance is good but it's not a magic thing which will save you from every situation.

 

[devilkingx2]

I don’t know bro, I think

If you don’t response to a girl flaking on you, it’s as if you are a dumb guy.

If you don’t respond to a girl insulting you, it’s as if you are a dumb guy.

If you don’t respond to a girl changing the subject, it’s as if you are a dumb guy.


Personally I like to confront the issue rather than silence and distance, but to each his own.

just make sure she knows that it's on purpose like you just say "okay" or "ok" or "k" and then you go silent, she will clearly know that the silence is your answer

You have to let your girl know your boundaries and the way to do that is by telling her when she disrespects you. If she does it again despite your warnings that's when you can employ silence.

this too

 

[guru1000]

I don’t know bro, I think

If you don’t response to a girl flaking on you, it’s as if you are a dumb guy.

If you don’t respond to a girl insulting you, it’s as if you are a dumb guy.

If you don’t respond to a girl changing the subject, it’s as if you are a dumb guy.
.

Notice you are concerned about how you appear as opposed to handling her most effectively.

Notice you are investing more of your two most valuable assets--time and attention--into her as opposed to withdrawing them.

If a girl disrespects you and says something nasty and you just go and silently disappear like a p*ussy?

"Disappearing like a puzzy" is a social construct, which has merit in dealings with a random girl or guy.

As to your girl or date, it could be argued that your staying following her conscious disrespect is "staying with her like a pvzzy" as opposed to her losing you.

That's a sign of a weak or absent frame. That's a sign of nonexistent boundaries.

It could be well argued that staying following her disrespect is a sign of a weak or absent frame, and an overt signaling of non-existent boundaries.

Remember, boundaries can be implemented overtly or covertly.

You have to let your girl know your boundaries and the way to do that is by telling her when she disrespects you. If she does it again despite your warnings that's when you can employ silence.

Considering :

Silence and distance are not to be confused with avoiding clear communication but rather to be used only when a girl commits an act that is unmistakably tasteless or disrespectful to any observer.

Within this context, need not tell her not to disrespect you as she is well aware of what she is doing. Yet you stay.

Action > Words

Overt boundaries not to disrespect when she already knows not to disrespect you implicitly demonstrates (1) You will not walk away if she chooses to disrespect you; (2) how to push your buttons (with no consequence) if she elects to; (3) you will give her more time and attention as opposed to withdrawing them; (4) if the disrespect were unconsciously incited by an issue ruminating in her, you are training her not to bring the issue forward for discussion, as there is no punishment of withdrawal imbued in her psyche motivating her to learn how to properly communicate.

The greatest boundary she will feel is her loss of you. Don't talk about her losing you. Don't threaten that she will lose you. Don't delineate the ultimatum, "If you do it again, you will lose me." Simply exercise the boundary immediately ... she loses you.

Any reparation (assuming the disrespect was not so great) she makes will be felt and imbued in her psyche greater than any overt words you could possibly deliver.

Within the above contexts, this is how you exercise boundaries ... powerfully.

 

[sosousage]

The strongest weapon in your artillery is knowing when and how to apply silence and distance (and in some cases disappearance).

Girl flakes on a date. Silence and disappearance.

Girl declines with no counteroffer or changes the subject in response to your date offer. Silence and disappearance.

Girl accuses you of using her as a FB or pushes for exclusivity. Silence and distance.

Girl gives you an inappropriate attitude, a snide or disrespectful remark. Silence and distance.

I cannot tell you how the number of instances I have experienced of women backpedaling in the above contexts following my employing silence and distance/disappearance.

In any social situation you find yourself in, when a girl oversteps her bounds, silence and distance/disappearance, if employed correctly, will tip the frame into your favor assuming there is just enough interest on her end.

You will not lose frame by employing silence and distance/disappearance, but you can lose frame by reacting or by responding incorrectly.

Silence and distance create room for her imagination to ignite, engage her fight or flight response, and incite her second-guessing and backpedaling.

Silence and distance forge “the” frame in your favor and set the precedence that you WILL walk away if you are not content with her behavior.

Silence and distance send the message that you are accepting of only her best behavior and if she has a grievance to raise the issue overtly for discussion as opposed to undermining you.

Silence and distance amplify attraction, as attraction is built not in the time spent together, but in time spent apart.

Silence and distance allow you to gauge her emotional investment because if she doesn’t reach out to you, she merits no further engagement.

Silence and distance set boundaries covertly, so that she doesn’t feel ordered and resentful that you are controlling/commanding her as she might by overt boundaries.

Silence and distance are not game playing. You are responding covertly to behavior you deem unfitting which sends the message louder and clearer than any possible overt response.

Silence and distance are not to be confused with avoiding clear communication but rather to be used only when a girl commits an act that is unmistakably tasteless or disrespectful to any observer.

Silence and distance, in the right context, are the single most powerful act you can commit in your relations with women.

haha good post. i always try to do it, sometimes i fail and i text her after 3 days instead of waiting for message. but since recently doing better. maybe except that last time when i was texting with a 30yo girl for enjoyment, got used to texting with her, then she suggested second date (i gave up on her and started dating other girls after our first date because she seemed weird)
I agreed for a date, and then she flaked on me saying its cold today and shes going to bed straight after work, but I saw her on tinder and the distance to me was smaller than her home or job so she obviously lied
i lost my sh*t and started insulting her haha but anyway if she flakes on a date that SHE suggested then i guess its good it happened this way

 

[Spaz]

What you guys should realise is that any type of relationship is a power struggle.

The dominant and the submissive.

OP is trying to tell you how to remain in the sphere of influence - dominance.

Women in general subconsciously yearns to be submissive but she would only submit to a strong man. Subconsciously she will test his mantle every week, month and year and will remain attracted to a man who does not waver.

And I think OP has got it down pretty good.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I disagree with this. So a girl disrespects you and says something nasty and you just go and silently disappear like a p*ussy? That's a sign of a weak or absent frame. That's a sign of nonexistent boundaries. You have to let your girl know your boundaries and the way to do that is by telling her when she disrespects you. If she does it again despite your warnings that's when you can employ silence.

Silence and distance is good but it's not a magic thing which will save you from every situation.

Thing is...

What can you do?

You can't retaliate or you'll go to jail.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

What you guys should realise is that any type of relationship is a power struggle

Who the fvck has time for that sh1t? I have a business to run.

Especially when she's a little girl in the first place? She gets to pretend that she's tough because the law protects her.

 

[sazc]

To me

Silence + Distance == he's not interested in you, move on ,don waste your time

Because

Actions > Words

For females with self esteem issues this should get their hamster wheels spinning.

I was just reading the "told this girl a fre mistruths" thread, murkserious latest post. When silence + distance works to draw her in, be careful, very careful. The drama is on its way.

 

[Spaz]

To me

Silence + Distance == he's not interested in you, move on ,don waste your time

Because

Actions > Words

For females with self esteem issues this should get their hamster wheels spinning.

I was just reading the "told this girl a fre mistruths" thread, murkserious latest post. When silence + distance works to draw her in, be careful, very careful. The drama is on its way.

If she's invested, it will work.

If she's not, then at least you'd know where you stand.

It's a win-win.

 

[sazc]

If she's invested, it will work.

If she's not, then at least you'd know where you stand.

It's a win-win.

The ones with issues always invest VERY quickly

 

[sosousage]

The ones with issues always invest VERY quickly

like these IT girls?

 

[guru1000]

To me

Silence + Distance == he's not interested in you, move on ,don waste your time

Because

Actions > Words

For females with self esteem issues this should get their hamster wheels spinning.

I was just reading the "told this girl a fre mistruths" thread, murkserious latest post. When silence + distance works to draw her in, be careful, very careful. The drama is on its way.

A woman who disrespects you and doesn't try to make amends is a woman men don't need. Men need not accept shvt behavior from women.

Good riddance.

haha good post. i always try to do it, sometimes i fail

If she doesn't have sufficient interest level, nothing you can do will reverse a flake or a date decline. However, I find the greatest percentage of turnarounds following a flake has been when I employed silence and distance.The greater your rapport with her, the greater effect silence and distance will ignite, especially those you are in frequent communications with. The withdrawal acts powerfully.

 

[Spaz]

The ones with issues always invest VERY quickly

Know any women without any issues ?

Every women has issues, and it changes weekly.

 

[Glassguy]

If a woman disrespects you (flaking, ghosts you, doesnt counter offer, etc) I have to ask why you would want to pursue her in the first place. I certainly wouldnt, because I know that a woman with high interest isnt going to do those things.

Silence and distance should be automatic and natural in these situations, not some type of "plan" to grab her attention. Obviously grabbing her attention was a failure if she does these things at the onset of a scheduled date in the first place. Rarely will it do anything to raise a woman's interest if its early on (as in within the first 1-3 dates).

 

[guru1000]

Silence and distance should be automatic and natural in these situations

Absolutely, silence and distance should be an unconscious process.

Hehe, just the other day I was chatting with my friend (who is a girl), and she asked how I so often get new dates, new plates, and new gfs absolutely obsessed with me. She had never seen anything remotely close to such obsessions among all her friends with their bfs. After some rumination, I narrowed it down primarily to how I naturally operate through silence and distance. The unconscious push-pull invest-withdrawal process ignites extreme passion and a stronger emotional connect with these women.

Though, many men here come to this site seeking to improve themselves and their relations. The first step in improving social relations/acumen is employing conscious directives, that is, consciously undertaking acts that feel different/foreign to you, until they are practiced so often and intertwined into your modus operandi, they become an unconscious process, and thus a part of who YOU have become.