What gets you the girls is "confidence"

[Who Dares Win]

Lost the count of all the times we read in this forum that what makes the difference is "confidence", some kind of holy grail that will allow an ugly guy to score a top model.

What I believe is that too many guys here make a mistake when it comes of evaluating what works and what doesnt.

They probably see guys approaching girls with confidence and succeding in the goal while shy or concerned guy being ignored and rejected therefore they believe that "confidence" is the key.

Apparently no one of them considered the fact that its not confident guys to be succesful but succesful guys to be confident...the notion that confidence comes from common past success and not out of thin air apparently its alien to them.

A loser lacking quality and value who happens to be sure of his approaches doesnt look like a confident guy nowadays, he is in fact the guy more likely to be kicked out from the club or fired from the work place.

According to that mindset a homeless guy asking a mortgage at the bank doesnt really need any backup as long as he confidently enters the bank and demands to speak with the manager.

"sorry abdul but the fact that you are an illegal immigrant with no job or house has nothing to do with the fact that the bank rejected your request, you just need to be more confident next time".

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

In both scenarios, confidence is only one facet of the thing.

Abdul going and applying for a mortgage can be as confident as he likes; the bank will just laugh in his face because he's a terrible investment. Thus, confidence isn't really the issue.

Equally, Abdul can go in to a bar and chat up a hot girl with the silvery tongue of Casanova, but will get rejected because he hasn't had a shower for a week and stinks of sh!t, and his clothes smell of stale p!ss.

The guy sitting next to Abdul in the bar is clean, well groomed, decked in a fitted CK suit but is painfully shy. He is never even in the running with the hot girl, because he doesn't even open his mouth. In this respect, even poor old Abdul got further towards getting laid than this guy.

The point is, confidence does matter. But it's not the only thing that matters. It's one part of the whole package. I lose count of the number of times I've spoken of black and and white, versus dynamic thinking on this forum.

It's human nature to think binary, black and white thoughts. "I'm unattractive to women becasue:
-I lack confidence
-I'm poor
-I'm ugly
-I'm short
-I'm this, that, or whatever..."

People laugh at me when I talk about positive affirmations on this site. But what they refuse to acknowledge is that they themselves affirm themselves everyday, be it positively or negatively. Everyone does.

Anyway, I digress. Nobody ever said learning to attract women was easy. And it's not a case of blindly thinking that one thing is letting you down.

Confidence isn't something that needs to be overtly demonstrated to people. It's not an act. It's an internal belief system, that just so happens to translate in to your dealings with other people.

 

[Trunks]

Confidence without real value is delusion, and it won't get you the hot babes.

 

[guru1000]

Let me dispel another social myth about confidence.

Genuine confidence--as opposed to contrived confidence--is gained through actual success of a specific pursuit which you are striving to be confident in.

Derek Jeter was a confident baseball player from his success playing baseball. Although his confidence in that specific venture leads him to have high self-esteem overall, should you place Jeter in a chess tournament, he wouldn't be confident in his chess abilities as he has no prior success upon which to base his confidence. Though, he can could have a strong internal compass derived from his high self-esteem and thus feel that he will (one day) be the best chess player, this in no way contradicts that he is not confident in his chess acuity right now.

Your strongest confident state incites at the moment of your last close.

To be confident with women means you are or have been successful with women. The more women and the latest successes or failures you have had with women will determine the strength of your confidence right now.

In every social interaction, you are either validated or invalidated. Each will intrinsically augment or dissipate your confident state. As much as the Manosphere loves to solicit that confidence with women is not dependent on women and is internally incited, true confidence in a chosen pursuit can only be borne though actual success in that pursuit.

Herein is why it's most effective to begin with achieving small base hits, and get the momentum ball rolling into bigger waters.

 

[Fruitbat]

Confidence is confused with courage.

 

[Fruitbat]

Visualisation techniques don't work either.

I have been visualising hot chicks on my cawk for years but I don't think it's helping

 

[Styr]

I have learned from personal experience that confidence comes with experience. So as far as girls and dating are concerned:

Start small, seduce a HB2, 3, 4. Once you have some experience then you can continue with 5's and 6's. And soon enough dating and having seks with HB8+ is like an everyday routine.

Disclaimer: The only requirements are going outside and opening your mouth.

 

[Fruitbat]

I have learned from personal experience that confidence comes with experience. So as far as girls and dating are concerned:

Start small, seduce a HB2, 3, 4. Once you have some experience then you can continue with 5's and 6's. And soon enough dating and having seks with HB8+ is like an everyday routine.

Disclaimer: The only requirements are going outside and opening your mouth.

A 2 doesn't require seduction, an introduction is enough!

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Herein is why it's most effective to begin with achieving small base hits, and get the momentum ball rolling into bigger waters.

This is very much what I've experienced this year. Building up a whole team of plates, probably for the first time ever, I've really had to start with the 7-7.5's to get the ground work going, and the skills refining. Gradually as autumn descends, quality is starting to creep up slowly towards the 8 mark; my demeanour and general vibe now attracting lingering looks from 8's and 9's regularly. No one ever started running before they could walk.

After a few weeks off, I need to get back in the gym and start lifting, heavy.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I disagree. I can't count the time I saw ugly a$$ guys arm in arm with hot chicks. They seemed to be super confident.

I think the calm and quite confindence can help You to score with women alot more.

The rest of your post just looks like some ranting over immigrants and why 'Abdul' can't get a loan at his bank... whatever

Why dont u bother to quote properly so I get the alert and read your question...unless you want me not to read ofc?

You didnt get the obvious fact that a man with no citizenship/documents or registered home (illegal immigrant) scores lower than anyone in a bank ranking...I mean it didnt need einstein to get it after all.

 

[resilient]

Genuine confidence--as opposed to contrived confidence--is gained through actual success of a specific pursuit which you are striving to be confident in.

Yessss!!! Imma keep shredding at the guitar then.

Confidence FTW!!

 

[Who Dares Win]

Okay and what does that have to do with scoring with chicks?

it has to do with confidence as value, its kinda obvious in the post you were quoting and the fact that everyone but you got it means it was pretty clear.

 

[Urbanyst]

Confidence without real value is delusion, and it won't get you the hot babes.

This.

VALUE is what gets you women.

You either find a way to become valuable or you use PUA tricks to pretend you are valuable. But VALUE is all that matters today, all that mattered yesterday and all that will matter tomorrow. There is no way around it.

 

[guru1000]

This is very much what I've experienced this year. Building up a whole team of plates, probably for the first time ever, I've really had to start with the 7-7.5's to get the ground work going, and the skills refining. Gradually as autumn descends, quality is starting to creep up slowly towards the 8 mark; my demeanour and general vibe now attracting lingering looks from 8's and 9's regularly. No one ever started running before they could walk.

After a few weeks off, I need to get back in the gym and start lifting, heavy.

Excellent.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Yeah Ok poor Abdul cant have confidence because he has no real value or cant get a loan because his stinky clothes. For me this post is just a sneaky attempt to spread your political believes.

Nobody asked your opinion on a metaphor used to explain a point nor to provide any drama in this topic.

How about I pay you few bucks for ice cream and coke and you go back to the kids table and leave the adults to their talking?

 

[Kultam]

I think this is mostly true, however self-esteem is very real and the kids with low self esteem do more poorly than those with high self esteem out of the gate, when boys and girls are first getting interested in each other.

Now, the high self esteem kid after a lifetime of rejection for whatever reason will lack confidence with women, self esteem or not. Ditto with the low self esteem kid who grows up and gets success with women in spite of his lack of self esteem and so becomes confident in the women sphere.

Fast earned confidence disappears even faster. It's not like if you success with women once then you will gain permanent confidence. If you want it permanent then you need to take care of all the fields of your life.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Confidence without real value is delusion, and it won't get you the hot babes.

It still open locks in there mind. Huge confidence changes everything.

 

[devilkingx2]

have you ever been in a situation where you thought "even if I was too shy to properly spit out a sentence I'd still have gotten the girl"? me neither. confidence matters a lot

I did once talk to a girl who was a model and get absolutely nowhere because her being a model made me nervous and speak with a stutter though.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Your incoherent bla bla makes no sense anyway. Hmmm did you consider that not confidence makes successfull but suceess makes confident .lol. Pretty lame logic when you ask me.

Edit: for everyone who is interessted in logic:
Success A , Confidence B
B /-> A confidence not implying success
A -> B success implying confidence

B /->( A -> B )
A -> B /-> (A -> B )

Ad absurdum.
Other way said how should success imply confidence if confidence does not imply success implies confidence

Right imo:

Success implies confidence
Confidence implies success
A -> B
B -> A

A -> (B -> A)
(B -> A) -> (B -> A)

Without success No confidence and without confidence no success.

I'll put it more simple just like it was in the original message.

No amount of confidence is gonna help you if you lack value...and here the metaphor that you didnt like that much explained:

A homeless guy with no citizenship therefore no documents (illegal immigrant therefore no insurance for the bank), with no house or property (nothing the bank could take from him) will never get a mortgage no matter the amount of confidence he will show while asking the money in his dirty stinky clothes...everyone got it but you, you precious star had to turn it into a social justice crusade.

The illegal immigrant part was necessary cause a citizen would still be more accountable toward a bank compared to someone that could disappear the same day.

Thats the line which many other users agreed on, confidence without any value of past success to back it up is purely delusional, unless you think whoever else posted in this thread is wrong.

The way you lack to understand basic points while trying to prove others by showing off with eye-catching formulas and such plus a hint of social justice warrior makes me think you are one of those mama boys who are told they are special for simple fact of pissing inside the toilet.

As I told you many times there was no political meaning, I used the illegal immigrant for the simple fact that unlike a poor local citizen, he cant be traced in case the banks needs him....fkn simple as that as anyone else understood.

Next time I will call him Erik instead of Abdul so your social justice warrior sense wont get triggered.

 

[Trunks]

It still open locks in there mind. Huge confidence changes everything.

have you ever been in a situation where you thought "even if I was too shy to properly spit out a sentence I'd still have gotten the girl"? me neither. confidence matters a lot

I did once talk to a girl who was a model and get absolutely nowhere because her being a model made me nervous and speak with a stutter though.

Confidence and boldness are necessary, but they are not enough by themselves to get one women consistently. That's where becoming a desirable man comes in.