If you found a beautiful woman who was genuinely a great woman, would you marry her?

[RangerMIke]

No. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

 

[wifehunter]

Believe in miracles?

I do.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

As to changing another person? It's impossible. That desire is ego talking & ego is very persuasive.

The other person has to want to change for themselves. If a person wants to change and is open to growth and is consistently taking action in the direction of improvement then that's someone who can be influenced positively by another person. But at the end of the day it's them doing the work toward self improvement.

This is why getting involved with an addict or alcoholic is never a good idea. You cannot rescue someone from their own destructive behaviors. No matter how much ego wants to.

I'm talking about normal people, not addicts. That's a neurological change that cannot be helped no matter what; they are no longer completely human anymore. But what about making someone better? How is it that many times a woman can come into a man's life and raise him up to become more wholesome than ever before, in the same way that they can (usually) destroy them? That's partially why a man becomes more attractive once he gets a woman. Why can't we do that to people in general?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I'm talking about normal people, not addicts. That's a neurological change that cannot be helped no matter what; they are no longer completely human anymore. But what about making someone better? How is it that many times a woman can come into a man's life and raise him up to become more wholesome than ever before, in the same way that they can (usually) destroy them? That's partially why a man becomes more attractive once he gets a woman. Why can't we do that to people in general?

Men do the same for women too....

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Men do the same for women too....

But I tend to realize that it's MOSTLY your SMV that goes up rather than your overal social value or value to the community. And it's rarely permanent, though sometimes it is.

Also, when it does happen, it usually is a woman raising a man rather than vice versa. I believe it's because civilization makes life harder on men and loyalty and brotherhood is no longer valued either, so if a man somehow finds that companionship in a woman, it leaves a mark on him.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

No. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

And what if for this particular fairytale woman, you get much more juice than you thought you'd squeeze out?

 

[bigneil]

And what if for this particular fairytale woman, you get much more juice than you thought you'd squeeze out?

Goddamn it, get a job and let me off this f*cking sleigh ride. Trump ended the Dreamer Act with no remorse.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Goddamn it, get a job and let me off this f*cking sleigh ride. Trump ended the Dreamer Act with no remorse.

You know, you could just very well not open this thread. Now piss the hell off already.

 

[bigneil]

"If you could have things totally suck but not suck at all, would you do it?"

 

[mrgoodstuff]

But I tend to realize that it's MOSTLY your SMV that goes up rather than your overal social value or value to the community. And it's rarely permanent, though sometimes it is.

Also, when it does happen, it usually is a woman raising a man rather than vice versa. I believe it's because civilization makes life harder on men and loyalty and brotherhood is no longer valued either, so if a man somehow finds that companionship in a woman, it leaves a mark on him.

Some women have the key that unlocks his inner man. It's mental and spiritual.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

No.

If she likes me that much, then she would understand why I don't want to get married.

She's welcome to cohabitate so long as she's not just doing so to reduce her bills (unless she's really hot).

If she REALLY likes me, she can even change her last name and wear a ring. But no contract.

But then there's the even more important question of...

Are kids going to be born?

 

[devilkingx2]

The esteemed 'unicorn', the great woman of prophecy that the heretics have preached about, a genuinely sweet woman who will do as you say whenever you say to do it, one who is really passionate about you, and is also extremely beautiful at the same time without any makeup at all and doesn't test you or give you sh!t. A 'perfect' wife who you just know by talking to her WILL be down for freaky bedroom fun even though she is still *GASP* a virgin. She will support you in every positive endeavor you have. Her only requirement would be for you to marry her. Would you drop all your plates, give up the game right now and stop slaying all the poon you are to be with her? Or would you continue to play knowing quite well that the next guy will immediately snatch her right up?

one more thing, a woman who will do anything you say and is passionate about you is likely to be a woman with few hobbies, friends, social life, interests, opinions etc of her own. you'll end up with a shadow

beautiful + freaky + virgin is impossible unless this woman is 13, if she was freaky and beautiful why would she be a virgin? what's keeping men away? is she locked into a tower? unfairly picky? at an all girls boarding school?

I've met freaky virgins but they're usually fat girls who live in small towns 3 hours off of bum****, kentucky or something. I've met women who were freaky and beautiful but they were usually huge slvts, I've met women who were beautiful and virgins, but they were the furthest thing from freaky, usually they were boring and uninteresting people in every way.

is the reason that she supports all of your endeavors part of a ploy to live off of your money? I'd support someone getting rich and successful if they paid for my lifestyle too.

 

[The Duke]

But why can't you change someone? It is SO easy to ruin people, so easy to just destroy their lives. But why can we not help them? Change them for the better? I swear to you there is a way, though not directly.

In order for long lasting change to occur, that person has to develop new habits and skills. You can teach them, guide them, support them, but they have to do the heavy lifting. Its the same thing with grade school kids or those trying to get a college degree. The main difference is most need to hit rock bottom and they need to be highly self-motivated.

I had a 5yr ltr with a girl that had a lot of greatness in her(lots of character and huge heart), but she also had some personal issues(abandonment/insecurity/borderline traits-created from a rough childhood) that caused flare ups in our relationship. We struggled thru it and spent lots of time talking thru things and eventually this girl improved. But I grew tired from all of it. Over time I felt like I became her counselor. I didn't feel like I was her lover/boyfriend anymore. It killed the attraction I had for her. Therapists will tell you that you should never play the counselor role(try to change someone) in a relationship and I wish I never would have.

I still talk to her and she has shared many times how it decimated her when we split up and she doesn't think there will ever be another one like me. She got even more serious about changing her ways and being a better person because of what she lost. Losing me was her motivation.

She will make somebody an excellent woman someday. She has all of the attributes we desire(looks, supportive, likes sex, wants the man to lead, anti-feminist, not an attention wh0re, barely uses social media, low notch count) and now has the mental skills to be successful.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Therapists will tell you that you should never play the counselor role(try to change someone) in a relationship and I wish I never would have.

So you shouldn't have helped her simply because you lost attraction for her. But is that the only reason why they say not to?

What if you still did have attraction for her though? Would it have been worth it? And would you consider erring back together with her ever again, or no? And if not, then why?

 

[BeExcellent]

You can teach them, guide them, support them, but they have to do the heavy lifting.

After a time of teaching, guiding and supporting, especially if it goes on for for some years, it becomes really annoying and frustrating to keep trying to help someone who shows you over and over through their behavior and actions that THEY are NOT interested in changing or improving themselves. At that point really you have a choice to make. Do you stay or do you go? You have to accept this is who the person is. They may not care about or value the same things you do.

You can't fix that, change that or influence that if they are unwilling to internalize it and work toward it for themselves.

So the best way to enter into a relationship such as LTR or marriage is to find some one with whom you are satisfied just as they are. They will have shortcomings as we all do. But pick some one whose shortcomings you can live with. Even then its still a risk. It always is. You cannot completely remove risk.

But if you start out with someone you are hoping to "change" and whose shortcomings you'd really like to improve or work on, you are fooling yourself. Alcoholism or addiction is the obvious example so that's why I used it in my previous post. But cleanliness, organizational skills, lying, refusal or inability to communicate effectively, etc are all traits that you might observe in a potential partner. If you think you are going to make a slob into a neat freak you are mistaken. So you have to sort people by the criteria you can and cannot tolerate.

 

[The Duke]

So you shouldn't have helped her simply because you lost attraction for her. But is that the only reason why they say not to?

What if you still did have attraction for her though? Would it have been worth it? And would you consider erring back together with her ever again, or no? And if not, then why?

If I still did have attraction for her, then we would be back together and yes it would have been worth the struggle. There is still some attraction there on my part, just not like it used to be. I'm a person that doesn't give up easily and will put up with a lot of schitt IF I feel you are worth it and see progress. But when I throw in the towel, I'm done for good. I'm not looking back. That might be a flaw in me, but its how I am. That mentality is ingrained deeply in me. What is done is done and it stays that way. To go against that would violate one of my own moral codes.

I think the reason most professional therapist/counselors say not to counsel your own relationships is because:

1. Most people aren't level headed enough nor can they step outside of the fire and see things from the eyes of a 3rd party.

2. The person that primarily has the issue often will feel like they are being attacked and criticized when the one they are having issues with is trying to counsel them. Just look how difficult it is for people to do so on this forum. The entire forum knows BigNeil has some Aspergers/Autistic/NPD issues but even after 50 people told him every day, all it did was fuel his rage. His ego didn't see it as constructive criticism and he acted out in a manner that got him banned.

3. so if you can be that person that passes the first 2 reasons, then the next issue is what happened to me. Your role as "lover" turns into a role of "counselor" and that's when attraction takes a dump. I had a sense of pride in her because we were making progress but it was like a father feels for a daughter as she matures and reaches her goals.

So If you think you have the skills, are level headed, can remove yourself from the situation and see it thru the eyes of an outsider AND are dealing with someone that feels you are trying to help them and not attack then go for it.

 

[kronreiff]

Why the hell would someone get married in this day and age with all that great pvssy out there. You'd have to be insane!

 

[Julian]

short answer: FUKK NO

do i believe in marriage? YES


We dont need to be married to be together,tho... and especially not in this satanic day an age when marriage gets shat upon and women hold all the legal power. fukk that and FUKK YOU (marxist gov society bastards)

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

short answer: FUKK NO

do i believe in marriage? YES


We dont need to be married to be together,tho... and especially not in this satanic day an age when marriage gets shat upon and women hold all the legal power. fukk that and FUKK YOU (marxist gov society bastards)

Hey man Bernie didn't get elected nor Hillary so it ain't Marxist just yet lol

 

[Desdinova]

The legally binding contract is out of the question. I'll get her a cheap ring, have a ceremony, and get a pre-nup.

With regards to kids, that decision has to be made when she turns 27 and she has to pay for the procedure because I've had a vasectomy. I also require at least 5 years of being with her to make that decision. In other words, I'll have to start dating her when she's 22.

So far, my GF has filed my requirements. My next major step with her will be in 3 years. By then I should have figured out whether or not she qualifies.