Can a BPD make you feel like you are the narcissist?

[latinnova]

This gal really mindfcuked you. It is all manpulation. Pay attention that more empathy does not lead to buy further into more bull****. They like to mainpulate, and argue in Crazy ways.
Example?! Here we go:

Her(2000): I am thirsty.
Me: then Drink something
Her: get me something
Me:???why???
Her: because you already stand (while her on the couch
Me: yes, but your water is not here it is in the other room. Go get yourself.

She did not argue further but did not get up.
I wenn to bed at 2230 and she had not gotten herself something to Drink Till then.

2400 she comes to bed
0015: "i am thirsty"
Me: didn't you get somthing?
Her: no.
Me: so you were not that thirsty!
Her: yes I were and am.
Her:can you get me something now?
Me: no!
Then she drinks some of my water near the bed and complains- it does not taste well.

Who is the narcicist in that Story? Me? Hell no!

Wow, I can relate to this very much. She would not do this often, it wasn't an every day thing, but it would happen. And sometimes it would even make sense in my mind... like I was speaking of earlier "Ok, well I am up, I was going the other way, but I guess I can get the water, I don't need to be an uber **** about things." But the thing is she would get me beers when I didn't ask, very much in the Kingly stage, but even out in the end when we weren't fighting as often she would do things for me that I didn't ask for.

 

[exhausted]

How dare you say no to me!! "NO" is their most hated word. They're not used to hearing it and when they do, boy will they throw a hissy fit

Absolutely true she even told me that she hates to be told no. She once asked me to drive out of my way to pick up something for her as I was in the middle of mowing yards all day and I said well can it be done later I don't have time right now and she flipped out and raged calling me an a******* and hung up on me. I was in shock I called her back 2 hours later and she said she's tired of dealing with *******s I said I'm busy all day because I won't run an errand that you don't want to run for yourself I'm an a****** and you scream at me?

 

[exhausted]

Yes, they're basically stuck at some stage of emotional immaturity. Tell a young child they can't have ice cream today, or a teenage girl she cant go on a date.
Same type of response from these 'grown women'.
You go in thinking you're dealing with an adult, but you're Not.…

Absolutely true in every regard they are like children a spoiled brat who doesn't get their way Stomps and screams and runs out of the house or runs to her room and slams the door. I can't count how many times my ex got mad and just ran out of my house to her car and drove home and I sat there thinking what the f***

 

[Billtx49]

But the thing is she would get me beers when I didn't ask, very much in the Kingly stage, but even out in the end when we weren't fighting as often she would do things for me that I didn't ask for.

Typical cycling. Now I like you, now I dont…
After you get enough of it, you don't know what's up or down.
The walking on egg shells stage.

 

[latinnova]

Typical cycling. Now I like you, now I dont…
After you get enough of it, you don't know what's up or down.
The walking on egg shells stage.

Interesting. I will have to read more about this. I remember there was a point at which I kind of didn't like her getting gifts anymore because I knew at a later time they would be used against me in some way. I admit I could be an arsehole in our relationship for sure, no doubt about it, but it was usually after I had said no and she would fire back at me, or when she would get an undeserved attitude with me, that never sat well with me. I could also just be an arsehole, because we are all sometimes. At the end though I was just kind of in arsehole mode because I was tired of it all, and would just be an asrehole because I was just kind of sick of everything, and anything dramatic just kind of fired me up. And when she would leave I would feel relieved. I regret those moments. I don't know why, but I keep on getting waves that rush over me when I really miss her. Strange, huh.

 

[resilient]

I remember there was a point at which I kind of didn't like her getting gifts anymore because I knew at a later time they would be used against me in some way.

I remember that feeling. The ex-wife would cherry pick and critique what I got her for her bday, Christmas, and anniversary. I had the huge pressure to live up and surpass a previous year's gift like some childish competition. I don't miss those days. Not one bit, lol.

The same logic went for date night ideas.

She would expect original date ideas, and then would cherry picky my creativity/brain storming... saying something like, "let's just stay home and order in pizza and watch DVR shows."

Glad to be single, gents, glad to be single.

 

[exhausted]

Indeed. There were some things though, where she would say something and I would consider it and think "you know what, since we are in this relationship I should do this one thing she needs me to do.." because I felt that maybe I should be her man and step up to the plate and do as she asked. However, I noticed that when I gave an inch she took a mile and her interest in me faded considerably. There was definitely a loss of respect. So I tightened up my belt and said "**** that" then ensued a huge fight, but she was back into me 100%. That just completely messed with my mind.....

Loss of interest or punishment would come when i didnt do what she wanted and when.

The more I did for her the more she liked me but not in the response of appreciation or recipricating love and kindness but it just came as wanting me to give more and more as she gave less and less.

 

[exhausted]

Interesting. I will have to read more about this. I remember there was a point at which I kind of didn't like her getting gifts anymore because I knew at a later time they would be used against me in some way. I admit I could be an arsehole in our relationship for sure, no doubt about it, but it was usually after I had said no and she would fire back at me, or when she would get an undeserved attitude with me, that never sat well with me. I could also just be an arsehole, because we are all sometimes. At the end though I was just kind of in arsehole mode because I was tired of it all, and would just be an asrehole because I was just kind of sick of everything, and anything dramatic just kind of fired me up. And when she would leave I would feel relieved. I regret those moments. I don't know why, but I keep on getting waves that rush over me when I really miss her. Strange, huh.

Because you think back to how if you handled it better things would have worked out. So you are carrying that with you. I can relate. No matter what it isn't your fault, these nutjobs are unreachable

 

[Billtx49]

I don't know why, but I keep on getting waves that rush over me when I really miss her. Strange, huh.

Not really strange, but you're only missing the great parts of a krap relationship. That's all it really is.

 

[exhausted]

Typical cycling. Now I like you, now I dont…
After you get enough of it, you don't know what's up or down.
The walking on egg shells stage.

I'm jealous and the fact that this girl was going out of her way doing stuff for you even when she wasn't happy. Yes walking on eggshells is a huge red flag what's funny is that mine said that she felt like that around me which is insane have solutely insane I'll be terrified to bring things up and talk to her about so they flip the script

 

[latinnova]

I'm jealous and the fact that this girl was going out of her way doing stuff for you even when she wasn't happy. Yes walking on eggshells is a huge red flag what's funny is that mine said that she felt like that around me which is insane have solutely insane I'll be terrified to bring things up and talk to her about so they flip the script

Ya, mine said the same thing about me, that she was walking on eggshells. Hmmmm... most people see me as one of the most laid back guys there is, until someone pushes my buttons endlessly, then ya I can get pissed, am I not allowed to or something?

Not really strange, but you're only missing the great parts of a krap relationship. That's all it really is.

I'm going to hang that on my wall... that was perfect. But damn, I tell you, the good times we had were the best so far in my life time. That is why I don't understand how it can go from being the best, to just crashing so hard.

 

[latinnova]

Quick question, can a person with a cluster B personality disorder only get involved with a co-dependent type of person, or can they actually just get with anyone? I have read that co-dependants usually form relationships with these types because co-dependants have no boundaries. However, I noticed a majority our fights happened when she tried to cross the boundaries. At the end it felt like I was the wall in the game of thrones and the white walkers were constantly attacking me, little bits and pieces fell here and there, but it mostly stayed in tact. What happens if the cluster B completely breaks through someones wall, is that when they lose respect and walk all over them?

 

[Billtx49]

What happens if the cluster B completely breaks through someones wall, is that when they lose respect and walk all over them?

Any woman eventually loses respect for a doormat, but cluster B's run on steroids so it Will happen faster with them.
Bottom line though, if the relationship gets too emotionally close for them, they either break it off or get you to do it for them.

 

[exhausted]

Quick question, can a person with a cluster B personality disorder only get involved with a co-dependent type of person, or can they actually just get with anyone? I have read that co-dependants usually form relationships with these types because co-dependants have no boundaries. However, I noticed a majority our fights happened when she tried to cross the boundaries. At the end it felt like I was the wall in the game of thrones and the white walkers were constantly attacking me, little bits and pieces fell here and there, but it mostly stayed in tact. What happens if the cluster B completely breaks through someones wall, is that when they lose respect and walk all over them?

Good question as I have been trying to assess that within myself as well if that is what I am. We are in the same boat exactly that is where our arguments came from if she was being disrespectful or crossing a boundary something like that. Other than that I'm very easy go lucky very calm composed and fun sarcastic all the time I have no problems what's something arises and it was boundaries just like you. These cluster bees are so similar it's like mathematics. I would not even say it's codependent there's just other characteristics out there about you and being responsible and a caregiver where these girls just almost act like little kids looking to their mommy or daddy to do things for them.

 

[Billtx49]

where these girls just almost act like little kids looking to their mommy or daddy to do things for them.

That's right, they want you to be Daddy. It keeps their emotional investment more minimal that way by getting it out of lovers territory…

 

[exhausted]

Any woman eventually loses respect for a doormat, but cluster B's run on steroids so it Will happen faster with them.
Bottom line though, if the relationship gets too emotionally close for them, they either break it off or get you to do it for them.

Agreed that's what I told my ex you want to run the show but it always causes problems but when I run the show things go better and you're happier but you can't get over yourself for not being the boss I even told her for three years that she needs somebody different for me I'm not a b**** so we don't get along that's what she needs

 

[exhausted]

Ya, mine said the same thing about me, that she was walking on eggshells. Hmmmm... most people see me as one of the most laid back guys there is, until someone pushes my buttons endlessly, then ya I can get pissed, am I not allowed to or something?



I'm going to hang that on my wall... that was perfect. But damn, I tell you, the good times we had were the best so far in my life time. That is why I don't understand how it can go from being the best, to just crashing so hard.

Want to talk about walking on eggshells last fall I took my ex and my son out to dinner the drive up was fine 2 minutes into getting seated all the sudden my ex just goes quiet and cold doesn't talk to me I ask a questions she barely nods doesn't say a word to me ignores me where there for 45 minutes or more get up leave I pay the bill come all the way home she said she's going home I asked why she was she just wants to go have no idea what happened everything was fine and then for an hour and a half she's just cold and s***** and ignoring me halfway home she calls me and says that my son interrupted her when we set down so she f****** ignored me the whole time we were there allowed me to buy her food and she ate it I told her she is rude Beyond disbelief even if my son did interrupt her that is no reason to ignore me and go cold and be mean he's a kid he would 17 and 3 months before that he wrecked his four-wheeler and got a traumatic brain injury this f****** c*** abused me emotionally because of being interrupted by my kid. What kind of horrible person treats another human being like this? Because she was interrupted? I'm f****** real but I'm the one who causes problems and she has to walk on eggshells

I told her she was horrible to treat me like that allow me to pay for her food and she ate it while she was on Facebook on her phone she said well I'll just pay you back I said damn right you will you owe me fifteen bucks she came over dropped it off and left. Unreal treatment absolutely unreal off and on like this for 3 years verbal and emotional abuse I literally want to call her Mom and Dad and tell them how terrible their s*** daughter is

 

[Billtx49]

Want to talk about walking on eggshells last fall I took my ex and my son out to dinner the drive up was fine 2 minutes into getting seated all the sudden my ex just goes quiet and cold doesn't talk to me I ask a questions she barely nods doesn't say a word to me ignores me where there for 45 minutes or more get up leave I pay the bill come all the way home she said she's going home I asked why she was she just wants to go have no idea what happened everything was fine and then for an hour and a half she's just cold and s***** and ignoring me halfway home she calls me and says that my son interrupted her when we set down so she f****** ignored me the whole time we were there allowed me to buy her food and she ate it I told her she is rude Beyond disbelief even if my son did interrupt her that is no reason to ignore me and go cold and be mean he's a kid he would 17 and 3 months before that he wrecked his four-wheeler and got a traumatic brain injury this f****** c*** abused me emotionally because of being interrupted by my kid. What kind of horrible person treats another human being like this? Because she was interrupted? I'm f****** real but I'm the one who causes problems and she has to walk on eggshells

I told her she was horrible to treat me like that allow me to pay for her food and she ate it while she was on Facebook on her phone she said well I'll just pay you back I said damn right you will you owe me fifteen bucks she came over dropped it off and left. Unreal treatment absolutely unreal off and on like this for 3 years verbal and emotional abuse I literally went to call Upper Mom and Dad and tell them how terrible their s*** daughter is

She was obviously a low functioning / rapid cycling cluster B. Now you know what to look out for in your future.

 

[exhausted]

She was obviously a low functioning / rapid cycling cluster B. Now you know what to look out for in your future.

She did this nearly 3 years into the relationship if she would have done that within the first year I would have just got up at the table and left her there an hour from home. What kind of terrible human being acts like this to another somebody they say they love to their companion who takes care of them who takes care of their kid? Why would anybody act like this to somebody who is good to them in their own child I just don't understand. That treatment is God awful yet she says I cause problems she's going to walk on eggshells around me it's unreal it's like the f****** Twilight Zone

 

[Billtx49]

She did this nearly 3 years into the relationship if she would have done that within the first year I would have just got up at the table and left her there an hour from home. What kind of terrible human being acts like this to another somebody they say they love to their companion who takes care of them who takes care of their kid? Why would anybody act like this to somebody who is good to them in their own child I just don't understand. That treatment is God awful yet she says I cause problems she's going to walk on eggshells around me it's unreal it's like the f****** Twilight Zone

If you. An afford it, try to see a psych therapist or even a charity based counselor.