I got the gifts, the love bombing and sex just about anytime I wanted it. Not knowing what I know now, the gifts were given because she is unable to offer any type of emotional bond. That is her way of saying I love you/I need you. Taking me out to a $400 dinner $200 hotel for my birthday, $500 in xmas gifts. Hell, she bought me all kinds of stuff. It thru me off big time as I was so brainwashed at to see her and her actions for what they really meant. My friends were telling me they never ever had a girl do something like that for them, so to me, I thought I hit the lotto, hot gf who love bombs me, kinky sex, gifts, spends 95% of her time with me. Its like everything they do has ulterior motives behind them. They use gifts or sex as currency at times, that when you ask them for something./favor they use a gift or a certain thing they did for you against you.
When I caught her lying or needed to confront her about her behavior she would give me a ******* or spread her legs to avoid confrontation to talk about it. I loved BJ's so much she knew she could get away with almost anything by just giving me one or spreading her legs. She spoiled me so much with sex/gifts and loving bombing that no other relationship will satisfy, as I will always compare everything to her. Birthdays and Christmas's will never be able to be compare. My bday and xmas after she moved were the most depressing times of my life, I spent them crying wishing things didn't end up the way they did. She made them everything I dreamed of that nothing will ever compare. Fukn hate her for that!!
Some of them go to these extreme with gifts, sex and love bombing on purpose cause they know that it will leave a permanent mark. They want you to look back and know no other girl did that, no other girl can compare to her, that you will always be thinking about her on those special holidays. It kinda leaves you super depressed, part of you wants all that back even tho she treated you like dog sh!t.
Thank you for all the replies guys, I really appreciate it. Stovepipe hit the nail on the head, that is exactly what my ex histrionic (my assumption) was like. She would purchase extraordinary gifts that no one will live up to , like at all. Even when she didn't have the money, she would go broke buying me this stuff. But, another thing is the love in the beginning, I mean we all have a honeymoon phase, make no mistake, but to be the king of someones world is the most extraordinary thing that one will ever experience. It is amazing, the compliments, gestures, gifts, hand written letters of how you are the most amazing man in the world, and the never ending sex..... which is good at first.
However, let me expand on the sex a little further. With the ex-wife, we always had sex, once every two to three days, and I never had a problem with him staying hard... yes I am going there, lol. And with this girl, in the beginning we were having sex every day, all the time, as I was caught up in the honeymoon period also. However, after about a year and a half, you know, I just wasn't wanting to have sex every single day (ya, I know, and this has me thinking I might be crazy too) because first, I just needed some recovery time, and second, it almost became a chore because sex with her was always a 1 hour to 2 hour event to make her orgasm. And she was a bit of a sex addict. So I found myself wanting sex less and less, and her wanting it more and more. It got to the point where it started messing with my head as I totally lost desire, but I would still do it because she wanted me too.
Ok, so on it went and it got to the point where my member just didn't want to co-operate either, and this really kind of wigged her out, and me too, it has never happened before. She was trying to be cool about it but then she would try what ever she could to get him hard again and I was laying there like (babe, this isn't going to work) and then she felt like a complete failure, asking why she no longer turns me on, what is wrong with her, etc... and I felt really bad about it, because this girl is finest woman I have been with. So now this was added on to the pressure of me losing my desire , and it was a mind-**** every time she wanted sex. Sometimes I was super turned on and we were good, but most of the time at the end I never looked forward to the sex because I knew that it would be a marathon (there never were quickies) and there was pressure for it every day, and if I didn't provide I felt like a failure, it was a vicious cycle that got worst and worst.
So I went to the doc to get blood work done to make sure that my testosterone wasn't low, or to see if anything else was wrong with me. Tests came back and he said that my test was really high for my age (40), like a dude in his 20s due to me having a steady workout schedule and healthy diet. He asked if I still get morning wood, and yup, I sure do. He said it is nothing physical and all mental. Also, she and I had different sex styles, she likes it super rough, being choked, and all that crazy stuff that I know you guys like (which she didn't expose for the first year), but that completely turns me off. She is my girl and in my mind the last thing I want to do is harm or choke a woman, like at all. I am more into love making, with a little kink here and there, ya I am pretty tame. It just throws off my timing when everything gets super aggressive and crazy.
Sooo... I guess my point here is.. am I the only one that was overwhelmed with sex, to the point where it was way too much and started messing with ones mind? Ya, I feel I am the weird one out for sure on this one. Also, I read that Narcissist will withdraw sex as a way to have control of the relationship. This also made me think I may be a narcissist, but the reason I had no desire for sex is because I knew it would take forever and it felt like a chore at that point, in no way was using it to control the relationship to my knowledge. Matter of fact, after we have broken up, I still have no desire for sex at all. It is the furthest thing from my mind now.
