I'm going to date a bpd chick

[bigneil]

And secondly aren't u the one who's girl left him for another guy and u are taking her back?

'u'? You know I dump HB9's for calling me 'u', correct? Are you f*cking texting this from an Obamaphone?

To answer your question: no, I'm not the guy taking her back. I'm the guy who now has the option of taking this girl back (as every man ever dumped wants, and you know this):



...but tonight was out with this girl:

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is about them. I purposefully made one my girlfriend. I even made a thread about it. Why'd I do it? To test my own grit. I wanted to see how tough I am or could be. Here's the thread if you're interested:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...hs-you-guys-made-this-too-easy-for-me.239960/

You can read the responses. The guys are trying to twist it around saying 'no she actually DOES have you under her spell' or 'she is not an actual BPD'. It's like they can't believe that someone could handle one easily. So long as you use COMMON FVCKING SENSE, have decent social skills, respect yourself more than her and always trust your gut, you can't go wrong with these types. It isn't that hard. They aren't anything special. Are they worse than normal chicks? Yeah, that I definitely agree with. Are they unmanageable? Definitely not.

OP, something that you've got to realize is that a lot of these men on here are social retards and can't remain calm when a b!tch starts dancing around their head, figuratively speaking. They feel the need to always respond back if a decent looking girl shows interest. Sometimes the best thing to do is to not give a crap even if she is dtf.

Good on ya dude. Show all these numbskulls how it's done. They really aren't all that hard to deal with.

 

[Pandora]

I am willing to bet money that the girl in this video is BPD. If you have been with one you will know right away. My buddy sent me this video a long time ago and asked me to make the diagnoses. I said BPD right away and he was like yup. Notice the cycles of " leave me alone" and then when you do they run back " and cry at your doorstep". This stuff is real. Also notice the need for drama and craving arguments. If you dated this girl you will go crazy. I can also bet that she has unstable relationships, a history of promiscuity, chronic feelings of emptiness, self medication using drugs or alchohol etc. There are real patterns to this stuff.

 

[Dash Riprock]

listen up. YOU become a willing participant in your own "victimization" based off your own neediness, insecurity, and willingness to check your God given brains at the door when choosing to even bother with a chick or anyone toxic for that matter.

and then finger point refusing to learn from your own shortcomings thus inadvertently sticking up for your abuser as if you go full retard off "wild sex" and toss not only common sense but your own dignity down the sewer for "validation" as if you have zero self respect cuz PVZZY!

those types are known as co-dependent.

myself? I may be in the relationship but I'm also never swayed by immediate fawning, sex, praise etc. I'm also watching for not only actions matching words but the fake stroking of the ego to lull me into what they think I want to simply "hear" because the person is attempting to manipulate.

I may mention things a few times gently to not only see how they react but to see if their words match their actions. I never get paranoid let alone ever show my full hand. I simply keep things cool and normal while playing "clueless" if I notice things don't work out and give them rope to hang themselves with. no investing in arguments as I've simply only invested in trying to have a normal relationship.

If Not? I drop them period. no joke. ghost as in no reply, response, nada learning and growing in a positive direction forward in life for myself.

10, wild sex, etc be damned.

dead serious

Clueless.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Nobody knows the ball park of how many cluster b's are out there. BPD is often misdiagnosed or undiagnosed. Factor in co-morbidity and a diagnosis becomes even harder. That's assuming all borderlines in any given country seeks therapeutic help to even begin to form a statistic. Google it

I think it's a lot higher than 2%. It seems the common denominator is a broken family and/or abuse in the family at an early age which is far more prevalent now than 10-20 years ago, hence you're breeding more and more BPD, NPD, etc. people. Plus, it's a spectrum disorder like autism. So you don't have it or not have it. Not that easy. All the reading I've done on BPD (more than I care to admit) states it's generally (mis) diagnosed as something else like PTSD. One expert put the figure more at 20% which sounds more accurate.

 

[Dash Riprock]

To the OP and Bigneil, there are certain very identifiable criteria for a women to be BPD. This is not something that we men are making up. This is not just sour grapes. These women are objectively ill. There is a medical checklist that they have to go by in order to diagnose some one as BPD. It is not that hard to do. I dont think most of the men on this forum are making this up. When you run into a BPD you definately know. They are very similair. They self mutilate, they have episodes of raging over trivial things, they take some things to personally and get angry over them, they are sexually reckless, history of substance abuse, history of stripping/ sex work, no real identity etc etc. This is objective stuff. It is not just men having a bad girlfriend and then saying she was crazy. This is coming from someone who had to do clinical rotations in mental health. But I learned the most about BPD when I actually dated a full blown one. It serious bro.

You speak the truth brother. At least I bailed ship as soon as it started taking water. Now I know the warning signs.

 

[Dash Riprock]

BPD women are not leaving men who they have high interest in for men they have low interest in, simply because they are crazy.

Not always true. If you're a strong man and a DJ and stand up for yourself and call them out when they have a tantrum, despite them having high interest in you, they WILL leave. They realize they cannot control you so they're OUT. They are usually hot so they jump to the closest beta male orbiter whom they can control. They ARE mentally ill so it's almost like normal rules don't apply to them. Sure, they are attracted to all the DJ behaviors like swagger and confidence but once they realize the DJ will not cave into their demands or fall under their spell, they leave to seek an easier victim--and they are easy to find. Their overall behavior has very little to do with interest level. It's more about control level. Sick, I know. But very true.

 

[btownbuck2012]

It's more about control level.

It's ALL about control. That's why they don't bite until you're hooked.You're easier to manipulate and control that way.

A-lot of guys think they'll know if she's a BPD right away. Not if you're high value you won't. She'll keep up the act until you're hooked.

There is no truer test of your inner game than having the script flipped on you abruptly by a cluster B. In fact, I'd argue that it's almost impossible to handle appropriately unless you've been through the complete cycle before.

 

[Infern0]

Im gonna post on this and then be done with the subject.

I had a 2.5 year relationship with a diagnosed BPD and it was a dreadful experience. It lead me to my own diagnosis for C-ptsd which came from my own extremely abusive childhood. C-ptsd is the more fixable cousin of bpd by the way.

One of the great things about my recovery from c-ptsd is that i learned a lot about human behaviour, trauma, psycology etc.

Borderlines are NOT "just ***** women" they have suffered SEVERE childhood trauma to the extent they have no sense of self, are barely concious, have no values or sense of morality and will do ANYTHING to meet their percieved needs.

YOU dont exist to them, you are simply a means to an end and nothing more, they will treat you like a king so long as you sate that need because in essence they are addicted to you like a crackhead is to crack. But when you stop feeding that need (and the clock is ticking the second you meet them) they discard you like trash because you become absoloutley useless to them and they become addicted to a new drug.

YOU have nothing to do with it, you mean nothing, you dont even exist, you are simply a need being met, or not, thats all there is to it.

I almost got in with another bpd quite recently but due to my mostly resolved issues and knowledge it ended up becoming a kind of stand off with neither of us giving any ground and it simply didn't work, the dynamic was there but i refused to meet her needs for validation and control, instead choosing to be authentic and not participate in the drama triangle. It neutralized her bod program, she didnt know what to do, couldnt understand aunthentic behaviour and we drifted apart with no drama (phew), although she had some kind of emotional breakdown after it (which im not making fun of)

Anyway..

Guys with serious damage of their own will be DEVESTATED by a bpd, because the two sets of issues play off each other but the BPD is by nature predatory and will exploit childhood guilt and shame, in essence transporting you back in time towhen you were abused yourself.

A "normal" guy will just think "well that was weird"

A "moderate issues" guy will be a bit messed up but get over it fairly quickly.

It all depends on the severity.

But op take it from me, the very fact you are on a forum bragging, seeking attention and belittling the suffering of others which you know zero about means you have got serious issues of your own and if you manage to get taken for the true bpd ride it'll do you serious harm.

 

[exhausted]

Bigneil i agree. We are definately on different train of thoughts. Yes, you are right. BPDs leave Beta men in the dust. They date betas for a second and leave then permenantely. Betas cant even keep the attention of BPD's. This is similair to normal women. BUT THIS IS WHERE THE SIMILARITIES STOP.

BPDs do cycle back and forth with high value men. They have this break up make up cycle that they do with men that they love. They constantly fight with guys that they have very high interest in. This is fact. They will fight with you and then a few hours later come crying at your doorstep begging you to take them back. This cycle can happen many times a week. THIS IS NOT NORMAL WOMEN ****. This has nothing to do with high interest or low interest. This is a mental illness.

Have you ever had a girl walk into a room and swear that people were talking **** about her? Or she sees you look at a girl and then swears that you had ****ed her in the past even though this girl was a total stranger? Then you guys fight over this, break up, and she is back in your bed by the evening. This is normal BPD behavior and HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOW INTEREST. IT IS A MENTAL DISEASE.

You ever caught your girl throwing up after a binge session because she is secretly bulemic? She has such bad body image issues that she goes through starvation and binge eating cycles. You ever see her pick at her face and almost self mutilate because she cant stop? No you probably have not.

BPDs will start a fight with you because they are afraid that you will leave them. They do this with HIGH INTEREST men. In fact the higher interest and value you are as a man, the more fights they will have with you. You activate their insecurities because they are constantly afraid that you will abandon them like their fathers and mothers did. Dude this is so much deeper than low interest. You and the OP have no idea what you are talking because you have never really dated a true BPD. If you did you would not say the stuff you say. The guys that have been through it speak on it with respect. This **** is not a game man. Its very scary and sad.

He has never been there so he does not get it.
You are correct.

They love you so much and rely on you so much it's a mind**** when they turn on you out of no where, start a crazy fight you aren't even participating in, go nuts discard you then are back working things out sorry and loving. It's NUTS

 

[exhausted]

'u'? You know I dump HB9's for calling me 'u', correct? Are you f*cking texting this from an Obamaphone?

To answer your question: no, I'm not the guy taking her back. I'm the guy who now has the option of taking this girl back (as every man ever dumped wants, and you know this):



...but tonight was out with this girl:

Your condescending remarks about grammar and attempts to prove your worth showing pics of a decent looking chick display your own weakness and insecurities.

It's ok!!! We are all here for these reasons my friend.

 

[Leisuresuitlegend]

Still haven't heard any signs that the ss bpd experts missed or WARNING signs of bpd that they've never experienced from any other human they've ever encountered.

methinks they're too embarrassed to admit they saw obvious signs of toxic behavior yet brushed them off because they know deep down they're an insecure needy dude who capes up for chicks that are screwed up to not only feel "better than" but think shed "owe" her white knight savior.

 

[bigneil]

He has never been there so he does not get it.

I've never been there?? I dated a BPD girl for most of the past year. She tried to tear out my heart and stomp on it but I laughed at her and started dating her friend. Now she is back.

Can any of the guys whining about BPD women show that they ever dated HB9 non-BPD women?

 

[exhausted]

I've never been there?? I dated a BPD girl for most of the past year. She tried to tear out my heart and stomp on it but I laughed at her and started dating her friend. Now she is back.

Can any of the guys whining about BPD women show that they ever dated HB9 non-BPD women?

Good for you for maintaining your frame.
Are you going to allow her back knowing what she is?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Not always true. If you're a strong man and a DJ and stand up for yourself and call them out when they have a tantrum, despite them having high interest in you, they WILL leave. They realize they cannot control you so they're OUT. They are usually hot so they jump to the closest beta male orbiter whom they can control. They ARE mentally ill so it's almost like normal rules don't apply to them. Sure, they are attracted to all the DJ behaviors like swagger and confidence but once they realize the DJ will not cave into their demands or fall under their spell, they leave to seek an easier victim--and they are easy to find. Their overall behavior has very little to do with interest level. It's more about control level. Sick, I know. But very true.

I actually agree with this. All women naturally have this within them, to seek out to control men indirectly. But it is accentuated with BPDs.

Im gonna post on this and then be done with the subject.

I had a 2.5 year relationship with a diagnosed BPD and it was a dreadful experience. It lead me to my own diagnosis for C-ptsd which came from my own extremely abusive childhood. C-ptsd is the more fixable cousin of bpd by the way.

One of the great things about my recovery from c-ptsd is that i learned a lot about human behaviour, trauma, psycology etc.

Borderlines are NOT "just ***** women" they have suffered SEVERE childhood trauma to the extent they have no sense of self, are barely concious, have no values or sense of morality and will do ANYTHING to meet their percieved needs.

YOU dont exist to them, you are simply a means to an end and nothing more, they will treat you like a king so long as you sate that need because in essence they are addicted to you like a crackhead is to crack. But when you stop feeding that need (and the clock is ticking the second you meet them) they discard you like trash because you become absoloutley useless to them and they become addicted to a new drug.

YOU have nothing to do with it, you mean nothing, you dont even exist, you are simply a need being met, or not, thats all there is to it.

I almost got in with another bpd quite recently but due to my mostly resolved issues and knowledge it ended up becoming a kind of stand off with neither of us giving any ground and it simply didn't work, the dynamic was there but i refused to meet her needs for validation and control, instead choosing to be authentic and not participate in the drama triangle. It neutralized her bod program, she didnt know what to do, couldnt understand aunthentic behaviour and we drifted apart with no drama (phew), although she had some kind of emotional breakdown after it (which im not making fun of)

Anyway..

Guys with serious damage of their own will be DEVESTATED by a bpd, because the two sets of issues play off each other but the BPD is by nature predatory and will exploit childhood guilt and shame, in essence transporting you back in time towhen you were abused yourself.

A "normal" guy will just think "well that was weird"

A "moderate issues" guy will be a bit messed up but get over it fairly quickly.

It all depends on the severity.

But op take it from me, the very fact you are on a forum bragging, seeking attention and belittling the suffering of others which you know zero about means you have got serious issues of your own and if you manage to get taken for the true bpd ride it'll do you serious harm.

You know, it's interesting you say all this and it furthers my belief that BPD is really just the female version of a sociopath. But I still do wonder why (like a sociopath) you say that they are barely conscious. And is there any way to actually 'wake them up', so to speak?

As for your assertion that they prey on the weaknesses of men, well in the case of the one I was with for only 3 months before we had a little ultimatum, I have an insecurity of weakness. I've realized this. Weakness bothers me a LOT. Kinda funny how that's my insecurity because having one in the first place is what irritates me. But the thing is, she couldn't prey on that because I was too strong for her to control. She couldn't detect that it was weakness either for whatever reason. And like that one other poster above said, it is all about control. That's why we she left. When she thought she had a LITTLE bit of control over me (keyword: thought. Only because her friend said something about me that wasn't true), she tried to use it right away. But I wasn't having it. Maybe because of this insecurity of mine. But I didn't eat burned because I remained strong regardless of what she or anyone else said or did to me. I did it for myself rather than because I 'wanted to keep her' or any of that garbage. All I thought when it was over was 'that ***** was crazy' and 'hell yeah I survived crazy like it was nothing' lol. They really aren't all that bad. You just can't be an idiot with you're heart despite any 'insecurities'.

 

[exhausted]

I actually agree with this. All women naturally have this within them, to seek out to control men indirectly. But it is accentuated with BPDs.

You know, it's interesting you say all this and it furthers my belief that BPD is really just the female version of a sociopath. But I still do wonder why (like a sociopath) you say that they are barely conscious. And is there any way to actually 'wake them up', so to speak?

As for your assertion that they prey on the weaknesses of men, well in the case of the one I was with for only 3 months before we had a little ultimatum, I have an insecurity of weakness. I've realized this. Weakness bothers me a LOT. Kinda funny how that's my insecurity because having one in the first place is what irritates me. But the thing is, she couldn't prey on that because I was too strong for her to control. She couldn't detect that it was weakness either for whatever reason. And like that one other poster above said, it is all about control. That's why we she left. When she thought she had a LITTLE bit of control over me (keyword: thought. Only because her friend said something about me that wasn't true), she tried to use it right away. But I wasn't having it. Maybe because of this insecurity of mine. But I didn't eat burned because I remained strong regardless of what she or anyone else said or did to me. I did it for myself rather than because I 'wanted to keep her' or any of that garbage. All I thought when it was over was 'that ***** was crazy' and 'hell yeah I survived crazy like it was nothing' lol. They really aren't all that bad. You just can't be an idiot with you're heart despite any 'insecurities'.

Not that bad?
Only 3 months?

They are damaging into the fact that these traits are hidden for a long time until you are bonded. Once you decide you 2 will be life partners. Then it comes out. Your lover, best friend who has been nice and supportive all of a sudden demeans you and talks to you so cruelly you can't belive it, you are in shock.
If a strangerof 3 months acted like this i would say goodbyes, but this is no stranger.

Mine stayed with me 4 days a week for 6 months about 10 months into the rela. At 18 months in all a sudden she turned Moody, bossy, controlling and mean as chit. if I woke her up to pee she would make cruel remarks and be ****ty , degrading, even tho she woke me up to pee and that was ok.
All a sudden she would get stressed out over the littlest thing and go to bed at 5pm for the day, but would come out to scold me for walking across the house, or opening the front door to let the dog out where she could hear me, punishing me with cruel remarks and the silent treatment.
My son and i started walking on egg shells, almost litetally at 7pm.
This chit never happened b4 now all these mood swings were coming more and more often.
I told her, this is my home I'm not gonna be punished to walk around it at 6pm, stop being mean or go home.
So that was a fight then she would follow thro for a month and back to the same ol moody remarks.
She would storm around my house woth negativity and a cloud of horror.
CONTROLLING beyond belief.

She never went to church yet wanted me to leave my church of 35 years to find a new one w her and was furious and punished me when i didnt.

I have a nice home but she didnt "choose it" so she wanted me to sell out snd downgrade for a home of her choosing i said no and she punished me for it by treating me horribly.
See she didn't have money to add to an upgraded home, her decifit, yet wanted to control where we lived so would instead downgrade than to live in my house because a psycho control freak.

I have 100 more stories and examples

 

[exhausted]

Thanks for the feedback. Dealing w/ a BPD was one of the worst experiences in my life. That's what lead me to SS. A couple of keywords you mentioned stood out to me. "Bonded" and "Walking on egg shells". I felt like my xBPD definitely wanted that trauma bond and I was all too familiar with the walking on eggshells part...more like landmines. The BPD experience was like a drug and the side effects were not worth it. I'm still recovering from such a horrible experience. I'm reading it's all about being their "supply". The experience helped me though. It revealed the chinks in my armor (which they will find). I'm stronger now with more insight on the subject. The best road to recovery is for the man to focus on HIMSELF.

I'm with ya as I am a month out and still healing, suffering a bit. It's rough.
I ended it after her latest discard and hoover. I got mean and mad and pointed chit out constantly and would not let up and she went running to hide.

They shame you to the worst of your suffering.

My dad passed 4 years ago, he was my best friend we were very close. She knows i pride myself on being a good son to my dad by being a good person every y as it's how i honor him. Anyways a few months ago she went into full blown rages because my sister was pregnant and she wants to be and she yelled at me screaming 3x in 5 days, anyways i refused to be around her until she aknowledged and apologized for unacceptable treatment and she responded with " what would your dad think of you treating me this way"

What a cvnt amd secondly my treatment was refusing to allow someone to batter me thats it.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Not that bad?
Only 3 months?

They are damaging into the fact that these traits are hidden for a long time until you are bonded. Once you decide you 2 will be life partners. Then it comes out. Your lover, best friend who has been nice and supportive all of a sudden demeans you and talks to you so cruelly you can't belive it, you are in shock.
If a strangerof 3 months acted like this i would say goodbyes, but this is no stranger.

Mine stayed with me 4 days a week for 6 months about 10 months into the rela. At 18 months in all a sudden she turned Moody, bossy, controlling and mean as chit. if I woke her up to pee she would make cruel remarks and be ****ty , degrading, even tho she woke me up to pee and that was ok.
All a sudden she would get stressed out over the littlest thing and go to bed at 5pm for the day, but would come out to scold me for walking across the house, or opening the front door to let the dog out where she could hear me, punishing me with cruel remarks and the silent treatment.
My son and i started walking on egg shells, almost litetally at 7pm.
This chit never happened b4 now all these mood swings were coming more and more often.
I told her, this is my home I'm not gonna be punished to walk around it at 6pm, stop being mean or go home.
So that was a fight then she would follow thro for a month and back to the same ol moody remarks.
She would storm around my house woth negativity and a cloud of horror.
CONTROLLING beyond belief.

She never went to church yet wanted me to leave my church of 35 years to find a new one w her and was furious and punished me when i didnt.

I have a nice home but she didnt "choose it" so she wanted me to sell out snd downgrade for a home of her choosing i said no and she punished me for it by treating me horribly.
See she didn't have money to add to an upgraded home, her decifit, yet wanted to control where we lived so would instead downgrade than to live in my house because a psycho control freak.

I have 100 more stories and examples

That's the difference between you and I. I still find none of these stories truly horrifying except the part where she brought up your dad. I don't find any of these situations hard to deal with though, even that last bit. Maybe because I have sisters who have been saying vicious things like that since I was a kid, but still.

****ty person? Yeah, for sure. Hard to deal with? Only if you make it; aka, no.

 

[exhausted]

That's the difference between you and I. I still find none of these stories truly horrifying except the part where she brought up your dad. I don't find any of these situations hard to deal with though, even that last bit. Maybe because I have sisters who have been saying vicious things like that since I was a kid, but still.

****ty person? Yeah, for sure. Hard to deal with? Only if you make it; aka, no.

Bringing up my dad is just an example of how these girls hit below the belt when it is not even relevant.
And yes stomping around making **** remarks then ignoring u for days because the dog walking across the house at 6pm woke them up is bs.
You weren't connected to that girl in 3 months to give a ****. Usually takes me a year to get bonded to a female.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Bringing up my dad is just an example of how these girls hit below the belt when it is not even relevant.
And yes stomping around making **** remarks then ignoring u for days because the dog walking across the house at 6pm woke them up is bs.
You weren't connected to that girl in 3 months to give a ****. Usually takes me a year to get bonded to a female.

That doesn't matter. If I were to get bonded, I'd still have the strength to walk away. You cannot ever let yourself get to the point where you will start to value her over yourself. You just don't. I never do that because I see how foolish it is. Very few people have my heart. And of those who do, I still have the guts to fight back against them should they be ignorantly pigheaded (my brother, my mom, and my dad). I've even cursed all them out before because of some stupid stuff (not proud of it, but I refuse to be a slave to anyone anymore). These are the people whom you would love more so than any woman you have a romantic relationship with. I have two sisters and one of them is a such a nutcase that I cannot deal with anymore. Probably is BPD by standard SS definition if I'm to be completely honest. But I've learned to even cut HER, my own sister, out of my life and not deal with her anymore despite her being family.

No love in this world for me. No love in this world for others.