Let me clarify bro, i went through her phone very early in the relationship. I don't anymore because I don't give a **** anymore. I am emotionally detached, she sees it and she's complaining that I don't care anymore. I told her that her personality has affected my attraction towards her and if she doesn't change it I don't see a future with us. So I am moving out. The sex is good so I really would like to have feelings for this girl and have a life with her but I just wanna know if I'm wasting my time or not. Can she get better ?
Short Answer:
Yes, you are wasting your time.
No, she's not going to get better, but worse.
Long answer:
This post is for every guy PMing me for advice around one specific girl and is going to be long, I'm on monk mode for my MBA and got more time after daily studies and workouts.
Nobody here knows the situation like you do, just like every other poster sharing his problem being smitten by
one specific girl cue ONEITIS.
1)
Humans desire things which are scarce.
Attraction through scarcity. Think back to the time when she wasn't in your life, you got her, you can do better now that you have experience.
2)
Law of investment
Every moment spent thinking about her, complying to her, taking any action revolving around her is an investment which will make you all the more attached to her.
If person A does something for person B, Person B doesn't like A more but the investment itself.
Ironically person A likes the person B more.
By making all these posts, guys smitten by one girl are investing more time and energy pondering over a worthless b!tch undeserving of it all.
3)
Denial is the most predictable of human behaviour.
The problem arises when people try to
attack a person to shake his denial, making him doubt his self worth, putting him on the defensive and ultimately feed his denial.
I've been where you are, struggled in the trenches with many women and saw freedom once I crossed through, you will too.
Just be self aware and keep moving forward.
4)
Recognise progressive signs of oneitis:
- Thinking about her when she's not with you.
- Trying to make it work with her.
- Wanting to build a life with her.
- Fixating on her special qualities
- Getting stressed and feeling helpless
- Thinking you won't get another girl
like her
- Separation anxiety
- Heart palpitations
- Loss of hunger
- Loss of motivation
- Depression and Fatigue
- Obsessions
- Suicidal thoughts
5)
My personal hacks to beat oneitis.
- Understand that
she's NOT special even if she might have some unique qualities.
Why?
The next girl will appear special too
- Everytime you think of her,
force yourself to think of her taking a giant dump in the loo.
Why?
To condition her image to disgust every time she pops in your head simultaneously depedestalising her.
I even approach extremely hot girls with ease by just imagining them taking a dump and feeling a little disgusted and funny.
- Workout, cook your food, study, earn money, indulge in yourself, it'll release the right chemicals and hormones.
Invest in yourself.
Why?
Read connection with point 2.
- Set a goal to get rejected by 30 women by the next month. You will fail this goal. I guarantee this.
Why?
Because you'll get another girl long before 30.
- Push forward to approach more women when you feel oneitis creeping up.
Why?
Oneitis creates aloofness and disinterest naturally, you'll rack up more notches and numbers, if you exploit it using reason.
