BPD's can control their behavior…they choose not to

uk41

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Yeah it's unfair that her female friends think I'm the abusive one.

I argued back when she demeaned me in public and could be quite nasty in response to her - but, especially in the early days, she got me in a ****ty mood.

She then went on to charm everyone and have a great time while I was stewing and was made out to be anti social.
 

exhausted

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Yeah it's unfair that her female friends think I'm the abusive one.

I argued back when she demeaned me in public and could be quite nasty in response to her - but, especially in the early days, she got me in a ****ty mood.

She then went on to charm everyone and have a great time while I was stewing and was made out to be anti social.
Another sign of npd is making a scene in public. Mine did this 2 summers in a row at a water park with her kid and mine both there both times. Literally over nothing, finding anything to go off about and act a damn fool. These npds have NO shame or humility. Of course we didnt know anyone there but hell have some self respect. Absolutley disturbing in every way.
We rode rides for hours for her and her kid and my son wanted to go down one that was super fast and they couldn't go as she was too little, i asked if my ex wanted to go with my son and I'd stay w her daughter she said no so i went with him and man did i get in trouble, for ONE ****ing ride, gone 15 mins no line to wait in.
Ignored, smarted off, then freaked out on me in front of my kid and hers saying that my son and i were "up each other's asses" like what the FUHK!!!!!! For going on one slide together the whole day??
The girl clearly is a psycho. Acting a fool amd ignored me for 3 hours at the park after that and on the way home broke things off, 4 hour ride, then when we got home kissed me bye like all was fine. What a pos psycho.
Then refuses to admit any wrong doing, EVER

Npds are truly evil and soul killing vampires.

They are heartless irrational cvnts.

Be happy u are free
 

stovepipe

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Good God poor guy.
Hope u are doing better as time goes on as well.
I'm months out and still have trouble, i feel bad, ya i know dumb, but she didn't cheat or anything just a npd who struggles. Jekyll/ hyde and i talk to her occasionally which just ****s me up.
Its rough to lose a best friend of 3 years but no contact is the only way to get past it all.

What's hard is when they have kids as well because u get attached to them too.
That kid I mentioned went and dropped off a book at her front door with a love note inside to call him. He drove by the next day to notice she hasn't been home. Dude called me crying non stop, wants her back, his mind is tricking him in thinking he can not only get her back, but get the "love bombing" version of her back. No matter how many times I tell him not to make contact, he doesn't listen. He wants her to destroy him, he wants to have a heart attack and die as he said he cannot live in the mental prison he is in anymore.

I get it, I almost committed suicide twice since my ex moved, had a panic attack so severe it almost took my life. I've come to except the fact she will haunt me forever and no relationship will ever compare to what her and I had. To the point I dont even want to deal with women anymore. On top of her giving me an STI, makes moving on seem impossible. It's like im programmed to not really be attracted nor want any other girl but her. Its crazy once that switch in their mind shuts off, you are now their enemy more than likely forever, they paint you black.

Seems like he's fighting two personalities. One, where he thinks in his mind he can and will be back with her, the other, he knows she's sick and not worth pursuing. But either way he loves her with all his heart and he will not accept trying to get her back even if it destroys him. He's been having a lot of medical problems too as a result from all the pain, crying, overthinking, nightmares, sleepless nights.

He admitted he fell in love with her kids too and they became a huge part of his life. Whats crazy about his situation is that his relationship was 1.5 years on the phone/video chat and two months physical and 2 months pysical. Weird seeing she lived 20 mins away and took over a year to meet in person. They met on POF, but he had fake pics of a good looking guy not his own. Took him 4 months of being loved bombed to admit the pics weren't even him. She still accepted him and forgave him. So he was loved bombed that entire time on the phone. In person, it only lasted two months. She broke up with him and left like nothing happened when just a day before she was begging him to get her pregnant. He kept calling her out on her disrespectful and rude behavior. He was smart in the fact he didn't fall for her games. She begged him not to use a condom and to also get her pregnant, but he wouldn't cave in. I know she left him cause he couldn't be controlled and was on to her BS mind games. We all know Npd's Bpd's and Hpd's need to be in control, once you start calling them out on their BS behavior, they usually bail.

I know what you mean man, I lost my BF of two years. Im Cluster B myself and look back to see how similar her and I were. I have some psychopath traits and also lack empathy at times, but I would never intentionally break someones heart ,knowingly give them an STD like she did to me, cheat or manipulate a person. Like you said, no contact is and always will be the only way to heal. Even looking at pics of them is considered breaking NC.
 
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exhausted

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That kid I mentioned went and dropped off a book at her front door with a love note inside to call him. He drove by the next day to notice she hasn't been home. Dude called me crying non stop, wants her back, his mind is tricking him in thinking he can not only get her back, but get the "love bombing" version of her back. No matter how many times I tell him not to make contact, he doesn't listen. He wants her to destroy him, he wants to have a heart attack and die as he said he cannot live in the mental prison he is in anymore.

I get it, I almost committed suicide twice since after my ex moved, had a panic attack so severe it almost took my life. I've come to except the fact she will haunt me forever and no relationship will ever compare to what her and I had. To the point I dont even want to deal with women anymore. On top of her giving me an STI, makes moving on seem impossible. It's like im programmed to not really be attracted nor want any other girl but her. Its crazy once that switch in their mind shut off, you are now their enemy more than likely forever, they paint you black.

Seems like he's fighting two personalities. One, where he thinks in his mind he can and will be back with her, the other, he knows she's sick and not worth pursuing. But either way he loves her with all his heart and he will not accept trying to get her back even if it destroys him. He's been having a lot of medical problems too as a result from all the pain, crying, overthinking, nightmares, sleepless nights.

He admitted he fell in love with her kids too and they became a huge part of his life. Whats crazy about his situation is that his relationship was 1.5 years on the phone/video chat and two months physical and 2 months pysical. Weird seeing she lived 20 mins away and took over a year to meet in person. They met on POF, but he had fake pics of a good looking guy not his own. Took him 4 months of being loved bombed to admit the pics weren't even him. She still accepted him and forgave him. So he was loved bombed that entire time on the phone. In person, it only lasted two months. She broke up with him and left like nothing happened when just a day before she was begging him to get her pregnant. He kept calling her out on her disrespectful and rude behavior. He was smart in the fact he didn't fall for her games. She begged him not to use a condom and to also get her pregnant, but he wouldn't cave in. I know she left him cause he couldn't be controlled and was on to her BS mind games. We all know Npd's Bpd's and Hpd's need to be in control, once you start calling them out on their BS behavior, they usually bail.

I know what you mean man, I lost my BF of two years. Im Cluster B myself and look back to see how similar her and I were. I have some psychopath traits and also lack empathy at times, but I would never intentionally break someones heart ,knowingly give them an STD like she did to me, cheat or manipulate a person. Like you said, no contact is and always will be the only way to heal. Even looking at pics of them is considered breaking NC.
Shiiiiit this is rough to read with all the hurt you both endured.

He needs to constantly tell himself and trick his mind into believing no sane woman wants to get pregnant like that. She wouldnt meet him in person for that long??? CRAZY

And u need to do the same.

One thing that i keep coming back to myself is thinking thay i just dont understand why she would ruin things.

Well duh, no one can understand illogical and irrational selfish acts that these crazy npds do.

And yes you are abdolutely right about controlling.

When i look back the only trouble we ever had was when she didnt control something.

Meaning she had to control everything and in fact it was insane. If not there were rages, screaming fits, she would just up and bail and leave right in the middle of a composed conversation. Like wtf whereare u going?

She wanted to control money yet had NONE and was in debt.

She wanted to control the church we went to yet NEVER has gone.

She wanted to control me to move out of my home to get one with her yet she had no money to contribute.
She also wanted me to leave my city where i work and make better money. I would be losing 400$ a month. She didnt care all about her. F that

Like how did she not know she was being a dumbass?

Didn't matter as a npd is a mental illness.

Just keep telling yourself you are better off in every way.

More than anything i miss good times tog but there were more bad and she is a selfish mean cvnt when not getting what she wanted.


None of us need a vampire like that.

NEVER give your life up for someone who is worthless like that, dont even think about it!!!
 

noBSgames

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Yes definitely narcissistic. Some of the most ridiculous fights I would just sit back looking at my phone thinking how in the world are you making a problem out of this or do you not understand it. It was very very disturbing the lack of comprehension at certain times
Wow this whole thing makes me feel like I've been down this road. My ex she would fit over text over and over.. so if I did not respond within 5 min she would be like oh your ignoring me like always then you will get the paragraph long texts about how I mistreat her and all that bs. It went on and on I stopped responding because it would just keep the cycle going and I had to be up at 1 am she got mad for me kicking her off the phone it was like she was rambling and talking about nothing so I said I have to go to bed. So she was like you know what **** you and she hung up first but text me saying I hung up before she did.. went to sleep never even thought about it
 

exhausted

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Wow this whole thing makes me feel like I've been down this road. My ex she would fit over text over and over.. so if I did not respond within 5 min she would be like oh your ignoring me like always then you will get the paragraph long texts about how I mistreat her and all that bs. It went on and on I stopped responding because it would just keep the cycle going and I had to be up at 1 am she got mad for me kicking her off the phone it was like she was rambling and talking about nothing so I said I have to go to bed. So she was like you know what **** you and she hung up first but text me saying I hung up before she did.. went to sleep never even thought about it
It was ridiculous the fights she would instigate,over NOTHING.
I used to get mad when i was younger, now i am in disbelief of such difficulties
 

mrgoodstuff

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It was ridiculous the fights she would instigate,over NOTHING.
I used to get mad when i was younger, now i am in disbelief of such difficulties
It was something, power. She was likely trying to shrink and diminishes some of your strength so she could be more prominent.
 

noBSgames

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It was ridiculous the fights she would instigate,over NOTHING.
I used to get mad when i was younger, now i am in disbelief of such difficulties
Mine would do the same picking fights and arguments over made up stuff like if my phone went off it was always who is that or your other girl is texting you it's like shut the hell up. She kept doing it.. then she got to the point where she would blame me for her actions.. mind you I remember her blaming me back when I used to share my location with her one night it showed me on a different street about 2 miles away... holy crap she flipped I woke up with like 1,000 mad red faces on my phone she did not want to hear the reason why it happened ( concrete walls) she had already made up her mind. I should of known when I first called her she's like (I've seen you in my dreams like I know you and I was meant for you) man some of the crap she said it's going to be hard to forget
 

noBSgames

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Mine did.. and when I forced her hands and arms away she started laughing.. man you should of saw the look on her face if it was not for me restraining her I would of got up and walked out.. it was creepy as hell.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Mine did.. and when I forced her hands and arms away she started laughing.. man you should of saw the look on her face if it was not for me restraining her I would of got up and walked out.. it was creepy as hell.
Like the devil I imagine. That's her B's ego.
 

exhausted

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Be glad she didn't go physical on you. Some do…
I would laugh if she did. I have been boxing all my life along with studying other fighting disciplines. Not that i would ever hit a girl but it would just be a joke is all to see her act out like that. She did go crazy on me one time when i was driving and grabbed and pushed my right shoulder from the passenger seat, i just looked at her stupid and she stopped.
What a joke these girls can be
 

noBSgames

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I would laugh if she did. I have been boxing all my life along with studying other fighting disciplines. Not that i would ever hit a girl but it would just be a joke is all to see her act out like that. She did go crazy on me one time when i was driving and grabbed and pushed my right shoulder from the passenger seat, i just looked at her stupid and she stopped.
What a joke these girls can be
Speaking about crazy while driving mine tried to jam my car in park while I was pulling off I raised my voice so loud she said I scared her. You don't screw with someone else's property more so if you don't own a car yourself
 

noBSgames

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I see my ex has posted a picture of her birthday yesterday and she was like this makes up for last year and she posts a picture of some guy she's so stupid I can't find myself ever going back to her.. I'm just waiting for her to try be it her showing me her breasts or vajay jay
 

exhausted

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Speaking about crazy while driving mine tried to jam my car in park while I was pulling off I raised my voice so loud she said I scared her. You don't screw with someone else's property more so if you don't own a car yourself
What a cvnt. These girls think they can get away with anything
 
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