My Date With A Gold Digger

[bigneil]

The important thing is that OP held true to his principles. We all need to do more of that.

I've been doing this and to be honest, it's cost me a few dates, but in a way I feel as though it's simply culling out the women who aren't up to par.

 

[The Duke]

Look at it this way, if you don't set the tone of how you operate from the start then you end up with more grief and b.s. down the road. Might as well filter out what you want right out of the gate. Its much easier with women to set the expectations from the start of what is and isn't acceptable than to put the cat back in the bag.

 

[ubercat]

I don't mind paying for drinks on a first date. If you choose your bars wisely shouldn't cost much. I think introducing money into it on a first date just kills the mood no matter how much you laugh it off you're going to seem cheap. Later on I would expect her to offer something even if it's only nominal. I think some of you guys are trying to treat dates like their girlfriends. Early dating is primal and it's about settng attraction. Then you screen to see if they are ltr worthy which is more about give and take

 

[marmel75]

No response is the right one. But of course it's fun to imagine the look on her face if you sent back something like "I only reserve that kind of treatment for higher quality women. No hard feelings".

LMAO!!!!

 

[Dr. Reed]

That text would immediately get her number deleted. However, if you ask a gal out, you should pay. DON"T do dinner. Do move around a bit. Back when I drank I always had liquor with me. I would take me, her, and a 6 pack and go sit in a cemetery and drink with her. That keeps costs down and NO ONE has taken her to a cemetery before.

 

[bigneil]

That text would immediately get her number deleted. However, if you ask a gal out, you should pay. DON"T do dinner. Do move around a bit. Back when I drank I always had liquor with me. I would take me, her, and a 6 pack and go sit in a cemetery and drink with her. That keeps costs down and NO ONE has taken her to a cemetery before.

Ah, the days when women would do you in the cemetery as long as you brought 1/5th of Soco. Note the girls I date now were not born yet as of then (circa 1990).

 

[soulforge]

That text would immediately get her number deleted. However, if you ask a gal out, you should pay. DON"T do dinner. Do move around a bit. Back when I drank I always had liquor with me. I would take me, her, and a 6 pack and go sit in a cemetery and drink with her. That keeps costs down and NO ONE has taken her to a cemetery before.

Yeh that text said it all... that chick would have been expecting me to pay for her fuking tampons too!

 

[sazc]

I do agree that if the guy sells himself as a provider he will find a female that be attracted to that. My opinion is that any female that is going to overtly look for a man to take care of her is not a quality female. She lacks fundamental morals that would make her a good partner.

This guy messaged me on POF
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=154379871

His profile turned me off. I dont need someone to take care of me financially, im dong that well, for myself, but I am looking for someone whom takes care of themselves well financially. He is taking care of himself financially but he pretty much states that he will take are of the female as well, if she needs it. He's literally white knighting perfect strangers in an effort to draw them to him. Turn off (for me) He lacks fundamental insight as to what makes a good partner (from my perspective)

 

[bigneil]

Any female that is going to overtly look for a man to take care of her is not a quality female. She lacks fundamental morals that would make her a good partner.

And you can get away with this attitude thanks to the welfare state. However, women in the 9,999 generations before you would tend to worship a man who kept her alive.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Girls who would like to be kept but don't understand the concept of bringing value besides a pretty face will get blindsided when they get traded in for a younger, prettier version. To agree with their value system is actually not in their best interest sometimes.

I once had a discussion like this with a plate in the middle of dinner out. It wasn't as confrontational as it's about to sound, but when I asked her what she brings to this, and she answered "I'm pretty", I came back with "that girl over there is prettier, and the one over there is prettier than both of you, so what else do you have?". It got her thinking and she has been a bit more useful since then haha.

 

[Masculinity]

A lot of you guys need to get out of the "she should pay something" mindset. I've been saying this for years. The way it works is this:

The man invites the girl out. The man pays. They dynamics of this have been amply detailed by darksprezzaruta and bigneil above. Asking her to pay is a huge turnoff to women, and rightly so. Your end of the deal is paying for drinks/dinner/whatever. This is the beginning of her deciding to SUBMIT to you. The one who is being paid for is the submissive one. This is just the beginning. Her end of the deal (as time moves forward) is to submit to you and to take care of you in feminine ways (usually having to do with domestic practicalities and sex).

When it comes to relationships, there is no such thing as "50/50". The process involves the male establishing provision and protection, and the female, submitting and offering her body sexually and providing domestic and personal care. That dynamic is rooted deep within the core of every human.

If both make the same amount of money, future financial compromises can be made, but in the opening volley, get the idea of her paying out of your head completely. Get the idea of "fairness" out of your head. Instead, work with the machine (system) as it is. If you don't, you come off as a complete jerk, or at least VERY questionable in her mind. There is no other way.

Wise is the man who does not resent the machine, but instead becomes a part of the machine and thereby becomes able to manipulate the machine and leverage its force to his advantage.

It's very unlikely that you'll get a millennial girl to do domestic chores and taking care of you. I think there's a generational gap in opinions here. These millennial women are mostly equality-oriented with an "I'm a woman and I don't need men" mentality.

OP's point is that women who expect preferential treatment and don't give anything in return are gold diggers. If you're dating a cool girl who is submitting to your leadership and banging your brains out, I have no problem paying. But she has to contribute. We're looking for additions to our lives that are assetts, not liabilities with attitudes who don't put out. I've successfully used this approached for years with success.

Doesn't it work with all women? No. You've to select your demographic and routine, values, beliefs, etc. you're looking for in a woman.

 

[sazc]

And you can get away with this attitude thanks to the welfare state. However, women in the 9,999 generations before you would tend to worship a man who kept her alive.

I can get away with this attitude because I can now get an education and earn my own income to keep myself alive. WTF good is wefare?

 

[bigneil]

I can get away with this attitude because I can now get an education and earn my own income to keep myself alive. WTF good is wefare?

Welfare is there to underwrite women who make bad decisions.

 

[sazc]

Welfare is there to underwrite women who make bad decisions.

Why would you choose to date a woman who you know/you find out makes bad decisions? Shouldn't standards kick in at some point?

 

[bigneil]

Why would you choose to date a woman who you know/you find out makes bad decisions? Shouldn't standards kick in at some point?

I'm sorry, are you confusing bigneil with the welfare state?

I'm referring to a system that supports 100 Million women who make bad decisions.

Is there some ID that shows proof of good decision making?

 

[sazc]

I'm sorry, are you confusing bigneil with the welfare state?

I'm referring to a system that supports 100 Million women who make bad decisions.

Is there some ID that shows proof of good decision making?

What happened? Did you confuse yourself with your own words?

I said any man who looks for a partner based on her financial neediness isn't someone who had good standards when it comes to partner choosing skills.

You decided to mention welfare. Welfare is irrelevant People not on welfare make poor financial decisions too.

Yes, there IS an ID you can check that shows good decision making - it's called conversation and getting to know someone. Through conversation you absolutely can come to understand if the person you are dating makes poor decisions, about many topics.

I've left many a male behind when I realize thru conversation that our core values dont align. It makes no sense to partner with someone you realize is incompatible. That's drama waiting to happen.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Ok so been on a date tonight with a hb8

Damn this girl was HOT crazy sexy body

Anyhow I bought her the first drink.. we then went to the bar for a second drink and she refused to pay..

She was expecting me to pay for the drinks all night... which I refused to do..

The date went well.. lots of laughs, touching and some kissing!


After the date she messages me this..

HER - I like you, but I am not an equal opportunities kind of girl.. i want to be looked after, all the best..


So to me this translates as, she is looking for a simp who will pay for chit for her..

She did not like the fact, that i expected her to pay for one drink...


Anyhow I kept my frame, and did not even bother to reply her back..


Fuking pof chicks! How did I handle this?

Girl was hot..but I aint a fool either!

You handled this exactly as you should have. Good job. What a f*cking b*tch.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I'd disagree with everyone supporting you and telling you she's a b!tch.

Firstly, assuming you were leading, you asked her out, bought her a drink and took her to a bar.

Secondly, you set the frame of the interaction and venue, refusing to pay for drinks was similar to her refusing you sex after she took you to the bedroom.

You shouldn't have cared about the money and offered to pay even if she insisted otherwise because you were leading.

The only time I tell a woman to pay is when she leads and hints she's thirsty, I tell her "Me too, buy me a drink" with a sly smile.

Calling her a "gold digger" who wants a "beta faggot" in this situation is similar to her thinking you are "sex crazed fiend" who wants a "wh0re" if she took you to the bedroom and refused sex.

The blue pill runs deep in this forum.

Some of what you wrote is accurate but her text to him at the end of the night is 100% Certified USDA B*TCH. Read the OP he wrote again.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I would not have actually minded if she had at least offered to pay for one drink.. but she made no offer

in fact she tried to make me feel like I was not a "gentleman" because I would not pay for ALL her drinks lol

her default position was, the guy pays for EVERYTHING

should I message her and set her straight with some reality??

NO!

 

[ubercat]

Agree the chick is trash. Passive aggressive texts always mean u ducked a bullet. I guess a plus for your approach is my way u wouldn't find out until date 2. @sazac, c'mon u really on POF? After hearing the guys here. That profile was too sad. The guys got hair wings, wearing sub dad clothing and the guys here in their 50s r in better shape. I doubt it was his sugar daddying that put u off.