Exclusivity

[Fruitbat]

Yo,

My main plate is dropping hints. She checks my OLD profile and lets me know she knows I am on there.

Things life "am I in the top 10" etc and how she isn't dating anyone else. She also always has time for me and seems a bit paranoid about me seeing others.

I have worked on the basis that it's for her to initiate this discussion but it's only been a few weeks, but we've spent A LOT of time together and both seem pretty sold.

I don't want her dating others or losing interest because she thinks I am gaming others (I am)

Is there any way I can have this discussion without losing frame or shall I just leave it hang until she suggests it?

I have other plates but I really do like her. I would prefer to play it but I might lose her, or at least give other dudes the opportunity to date her.

Any advice? I could tell her another plate asked me and I prefer her or something?

 

[Fruitbat]

Don't wife up women from old

I'll go back to single like the previous 4 years without OLD where I met 0.00 women.

I think things are different in different parts of the world. My ex wife was real life and she was nowhere near the quality of the women I am meeting online, the world has changed.

 

[Glassguy]

When she brings it up, just tell her that you are not so much into titles and only care about taking her out and having fun. Tell her you like seeing her and want to continue doing so, but if that doesn't suit her, she should date other people.

You are giving her the option, yet letting her know that you will walk if you need to. If she likes you she will stick around and put this conversation on the back burner.

If she is looking to clamp onto someone and rush into things, you walk and realize that you probably dodged a bullet.

 

[Fruitbat]

Aka need to improve

Nope. Afraid not. You don't know my life. If you had my career/social life you would understand. This is the UK, people don't hook up at the beach/in bars in their 30s, the only chicks I would find doing that would be 20-25. Most women 30-35 are married and I tried hitting on them, and you get a lot of uncomfortable and awkward conversations.

You might be built/good looking but don't transpose that on others as their deficiencies. Most people of a similar age are online, not hanging out in bars.

 

[Fruitbat]

When she brings it up, just tell her that you are not so much into titles and only care about taking her out and having fun. Tell her you like seeing her and want to continue doing so, but if that doesn't suit her, she should date other people.

You are giving her the option, yet letting her know that you will walk if you need to. If she likes you she will stick around and put this conversation on the back burner.

If she is looking to clamp onto someone and rush into things, you walk and realize that you probably dodged a bullet.

I am in the game for a LT partner.....surely this will just ensure I am single forever....what self respecting woman would accept that? If a woman said that to me I would drop her like a stone.

Just to explain, I never met a woman I had so much common ground with....this isn't just some chick, this is like epic level compatibility.

 

[Fruitbat]

Interesting false dichotomy. It's not bars vs online.

Join a dance class or a cookery class? I have no interest in metro things which women do. I like sports. You don't meet women in the pool hall or golf course. I'd have to live a different life to meet them.

I've asked out waitresses, bar staff and all sorts with no success. They're all in relationships usually. Seems like more sense to find women who are in the same place as me, rather than run around hitting on the 1 woman I meet that I find attractive per month in real life. My occupation is 99% men.

Like I say, if you've got good facial genetics and get regular female interest, good luck to you, but this just isn't practical for 80% of mid 30s guys. You're most likely ascribing it to how you interact. I have a friend who is the same "just go out and talk to women" Only works if you're top 20%, srs.

 

[Konada]

While banging her from behind, whisper into her ear "You're my girl now". You don't have to discuss things.

 

[Fruitbat]

While banging her from behind, whisper into her ear "You're my girl now". You don't have to discuss things.

Nice. I feel that discussing terms/boundaries is essential in advance so you can avoid bull**** later.

 

[Konada]

Ideally you should not need to have the 'talk' about discussing if you've been exerting your frame from day 1. Bringing up your boundaries in philosophically allows you to navigate sensitive terrority without seeming overdomineering.

A woman should get a sense of what's a dealbreaker for you in the dating phase, not having discovered your boundaries only when you guys get into a relationship.

 

[Glassguy]

I am in the game for a LT partner.....surely this will just ensure I am single forever....what self respecting woman would accept that? If a woman said that to me I would drop her like a stone.

Just to explain, I never met a woman I had so much common ground with....this isn't just some chick, this is like epic level compatibility.

"Epic level compatibility"....Really? After 2 weeks? I think its called you put her on a pedestal because she is into you and you actually get along with her.

Look, nobody on here knows you, or her......so it's a decision that you have to make. Either you drop the other chicks you are talking to and focus on her, or roll the dice.

I personally would keep other chicks very close and string her along to see what she is really about. Lets face it, after a few weeks its just been fun and you have no idea who she truly is.

I personally think if she is pushing exclusiveness after a few weeks I would think something is off with her. Again, you wont really get to know someone until you are around them for at least a few months. Tell her that you're interested in her, want to keep seeing her, but you aren't going to push things at mach speed. Tell her that you want things to stay fun and as long as it does, she can call it what she wants.

BTW, you think she is only getting on the OLD site to see if you are active? I wouldnt completely buy that either.....but I am a seasoned dater lol.

 

[Fruitbat]

"Epic level compatibility"....Really? After 2 weeks? I think its called you put her on a pedestal because she is into you and you actually get along with her.

Look, nobody on here knows you, or her......so it's a decision that you have to make. Either you drop the other chicks you are talking to and focus on her, or roll the dice.

I personally would keep other chicks very close and string her along to see what she is really about. Lets face it, after a few weeks its just been fun and you have no idea who she truly is.

I personally think if she is pushing exclusiveness after a few weeks I would think something is off with her. Again, you wont really get to know someone until you are around them for at least a few months. Tell her that you're interested in her, want to keep seeing her, but you aren't going to push things at mach speed. Tell her that you want things to stay fun and as long as it does, she can call it what she wants.

BTW, you think she is only getting on the OLD site to see if you are active? I wouldnt completely buy that either.....but I am a seasoned dater lol.

I know, that's what I thought too. However, if she is lying and dating others, she isn't giving them nb time as she offers me anything I suggest, right off the bat.

She isn't really pushing it per se, but she has said I was the only one who made it past the first date. I think maybe I am thinking of this because truthfully I am developing a hint of oneitus here.

There genuinely is a very high level of mutuality, not known it before. However, I need to cool it before I ruin it.

 

[Fruitbat]

Old is the MOST LOOKS DEPENDENT medium possible!

Intelligent chicks look for intelligent guys. it's like that in the lower reigons or for young people.

10 mins talking online and she will work out who has a brain and who doesn't, and I don't want dumb chicks.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Abandon your profile without mentioning it to her and start a new one? It's good to be looking around just to oneitis doesn't lock you in.

 

[Fruitbat]

Abandon your profile without mentioning it to her and start a new one? It's good to be looking around just to oneitis doesn't lock you in.

Whenever I see your profie I think "I'm a cop, you idiot"!

 

[Thorninmyside]

There is no bathroom!

 

[Fruitbat]

There is no bathroom!

Who is your Daddy...

This guy does the most epic Arnie prank calls ever created by mankind

https://www.youtube.com/user/TheMBDChronicles

 

[resilient]

The interest level in @Fruitbat's bird is TOO DAMN HIGH.

Kudos, bro. Good problem to have, eh?

 

[Fruitbat]

The interest level in @Fruitbat's bird is TOO DAMN HIGH.

Kudos, bro. Good problem to have, eh?

I have another who has worked out the one thing I don't have from plate one is a desire to have a family (or a few concens). She is currently assuring me of her fertility

So funny this game. Someone once said something like "you date one, you date two, then it becomes obvious you're in demand and game just comes from that" so true. Plate spinning is everything. I was in a better place 3 years ago but just went from obsessing on one chick to another.....

Love the GIF bro!

 

[Desdinova]

I don't want her dating others or losing interest because she thinks I am gaming others (I am)

A woman shouldn't know that you're dating/gaming others because there's a good chance she'll look for a revenge fvck. You're better off having her wonder where your interest sits.

Is there any way I can have this discussion without losing frame or shall I just leave it hang until she suggests it?

"The talk" should be initiated by the woman. You can drop hints, but it should be her who ultimately brings it up.

As for the boundary talk, it should ultimately take place. If she has guy friends that she doesn't want to get rid of, then you shouldn't reward her with your exclusivity.

 

[Fruitbat]

A woman shouldn't know that you're dating/gaming others because there's a good chance she'll look for a revenge fvck. You're better off having her wonder where your interest sits.



"The talk" should be initiated by the woman. You can drop hints, but it should be her who ultimately brings it up.

As for the boundary talk, it should ultimately take place. If she has guy friends that she doesn't want to get rid of, then you shouldn't reward her with your exclusivity.

of course, I didn't tell her I am screwing others but she sure thinks others are in the frame. I also told her roughly how many I have screwed on the site, which I think shocked her (none are recent). I've been pretty honest, perhaps even overstated slightly.

This is it, I want to agree that going for lunch with guys is cheating (when do I meet women as friends - never, theres always a reason), talking to guys online is cheating, I see my friends, I keep my hobbies, I do not tolerate flirting with anyone I know socially, not even slightly. Women have done this to me before and I hate them for it, and I will explain that.Mostly it's just "fun" in their eyes (it wasn't done really to do anything but test me out), but these types of test in my book are too far and I have men in my group who don't give a sh1t and will welcome the chance to piss me off.

Issue is, it may come off needy and they know how to annoy me. I am super paranoid as there are a couple complete losers in my group who are spectacularly succesful with girls and we have long standing feuds. They have taken girls off me I just met before (I was chatting up a girl and he just walked in and took her off me - within the first 10 mins to be fair but I ended up going home I was so mad, I would have hit him) - I just can't compete on looks with these 2 guys, one in particular.

But, I seem needy and paint him as an alpha if I explain. I can't give her that social proof, perhaps I just trust that she likes me for me and is not a sloot, but so many are, it worried the sh1t out of me.