TEXT ANALYSIS: WHAT THE FVCKING FVCK HAPPENED HERE?!?!

[Konada]

Another to note is to observe whether you observed any marked differences in how you texted her prior to the date and after you had s3x with her?

If so incongruence is your major issue. Otherwise you can try calling women after you banged them instead of your texting style represents how you are in person.

 

[BeExcellent]

Here's the breakdown from the Ladies' locker room:

Why this happened: Complete incongruence on your part as da dynamically and Konada have both indicated. You were cool & smooth in person and humping her leg via text after sex. Not good. This casts you as poser who can play cool/player but really is eager beaver with nothing else going on. Please don't take my comments as put downs to you @narcissist as I am being absolutely point blank blunt how this comes across to a woman.

Why is this my analysis? Your text game shows you had nothing better to do then beg her to go out with you, so she started backpedaling. Here are particulars based on the messages.

1. Do not call a woman "Miss Pamela", who is she, a princess? That is subtle pedestalization. Notice how she is not addressing you in a similarly elevated way Mr. Narcissist?

2. Notice how you were pushing for another get together the very next day? Way too fast/Impatient. Incongruent to your in person presentation that got you laid. You are a man with options, therefore you must exhibit patience/indifference. A man with options is never pushing for a second date the next day, rather he is savoring the experience and weighing his options! A better play would have been to text "Really enjoyed last night, busy next few days. Will be in touch." then go silent for a couple days. Rather you came off as a stage 5 clinger.

3. Look at how you handled the time thing. You are asking for the afternoon, (she flakes) then you are asking for 6pm (she flakes), then you are asking for 9pm (she flakes again). She is now giving you the dog ate my homework excuse for not seeing you and you are still trying to confirm a date. *Awkward.* Next time bail on the set at the first flake (afternoon times don't mesh or whatever). Your response when she backed off the afternoon meetup should have been: "No worries. I'm busy later. Will be in touch." Right now she also thinks you are over eager to get laid again. That works against you while she works out the whole shame thing in the first 48 hours. You gotta be patient, somewhat unavailable, and let her rationalize that sex that quickly was a good idea in her own mind. If you give her the chance (assuming she likes you) she will convince herself IN YOUR ABSENCE. But you didn't give her the gift of that opportunity. Don't make that mistake next time.

4. Too dam many words as already stated. There is an oft stated axiom that "Brevity is the soul of wit." (Shakespeare, the wise old bas tard) I realize it is ironic for me (wordy as I tend to be around here) to say that, but its utterly true. In trying to be clever and witty you have come off as trying too hard.

Let her double or triple text you. So what? You have options. She can wait until you reach out again in a few days. You are not under obligation to respond to every inconsequential text she sends. Let her WONDER about you and what else you have going on.

So in short, Incongruence and Zero Mystery after Sex, which makes you look not so bueno.

If you want to play with salvaging this, wait 3 or 4 days and hit her up with "I'm going to (enter an activity here) later today. Join me." If she responds with a maybe or silence at that point, then it's blown, but if you get a bite, be direct and to the point, but bail if the flakiness starts again. You have to get her out in person again, but it may be too far gone. Live & learn.

Cheers

 

[narcissist]

Here's the breakdown from the Ladies' locker room:

Why this happened: Complete incongruence on your part as da dynamically and Konada have both indicated. You were cool & smooth in person and humping her leg via text after sex. Not good. This casts you as poser who can play cool/player but really is eager beaver with nothing else going on. Please don't take my comments as put downs to you @narcissist as I am being absolutely point blank blunt how this comes across to a woman.

Why is this my analysis? Your text game shows you had nothing better to do then beg her to go out with you, so she started backpedaling. Here are particulars based on the messages.

1. Do not call a woman "Miss Pamela", who is she, a princess? That is subtle pedestalization. Notice how she is not addressing you in a similarly elevated way Mr. Narcissist?

2. Notice how you were pushing for another get together the very next day? Way too fast/Impatient. Incongruent to your in person presentation that got you laid. You are a man with options, therefore you must exhibit patience/indifference. A man with options is never pushing for a second date the next day, rather he is savoring the experience and weighing his options! A better play would have been to text "Really enjoyed last night, busy next few days. Will be in touch." then go silent for a couple days. Rather you came off as a stage 5 clinger.

3. Look at how you handled the time thing. You are asking for the afternoon, (she flakes) then you are asking for 6pm (she flakes), then you are asking for 9pm (she flakes again). She is now giving you the dog ate my homework excuse for not seeing you and you are still trying to confirm a date. *Awkward.* Next time bail on the set at the first flake (afternoon times don't mesh or whatever). Your response when she backed off the afternoon meetup should have been: "No worries. I'm busy later. Will be in touch." Right now she also thinks you are over eager to get laid again. That works against you while she works out the whole shame thing in the first 48 hours. You gotta be patient, somewhat unavailable, and let her rationalize that sex that quickly was a good idea in her own mind. If you give her the chance (assuming she likes you) she will convince herself IN YOUR ABSENCE. But you didn't give her the gift of that opportunity. Don't make that mistake next time.

4. Too dam many words as already stated. There is an oft stated axiom that "Brevity is the soul of wit." (Shakespeare, the wise old bas tard) I realize it is ironic for me (wordy as I tend to be around here) to say that, but its utterly true. In trying to be clever and witty you have come off as trying too hard.

Let her double or triple text you. So what? You have options. She can wait until you reach out again in a few days. You are not under obligation to respond to every inconsequential text she sends. Let her WONDER about you and what else you have going on.

So in short, Incongruence and Zero Mystery after Sex, which makes you look not so bueno.

If you want to play with salvaging this, wait 3 or 4 days and hit her up with "I'm going to (enter an activity here) later today. Join me." If she responds with a maybe or silence at that point, then it's blown, but if you get a bite, be direct and to the point, but bail if the flakiness starts again. You have to get her out in person again, but it may be too far gone. Live & learn.

Cheers

This is so far the best analysis. I never take anything you say as jabs to my ego. This is fantastic constructive criticism. A million thank yous

 

[QuadDeuces]

Too needy and too suffocating, no offense.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Number one impression: too much text, that's even before I read any of it.

It's not that she wasn't interested; she clearly was. Thing is, you left almost nothing to her imagination. For example, when she says she's curious about where you're planning to take her, that doesn't necessarily mean she wants you to tell her. A simple, 'You'll see', would have done the job. She's literally just telling you that she's curious and thinking about you (she's starting to qualify herself to you). She wants an adventure in to the unknown. You kind of ruined that for her. The greatest gift a man can give a woman is the opportunity to miss him.

You know the drill by now: no more than half a dozen texts (at MOST) in between dates, maybe a few more depending on the time frame. Arrange the time and (meeting) place of the next date. Certainly not a full blown conversation like this. Also just trim the fat off the text; talking about picking your mum up is just surplus information. She doesn't need to know your life story, and to be honest, she probably doesn't really care. "I'm free from 7, so I'll meet you at (place)/pick you up at 8". Done. Save the conversation for face to face. Don't be like all the other guys who are hounding her 24/7.

Lastly, she just got out of a relationship, meaning the importance of everything above is escalated 3 fold. She wants fun and nothing else. If you provide that, it may well become more very quickly. But until they are literally blowing your phone up every day, initiating meeting up and qualifying themselves to you, you assume everything is casual and fun; and, act accordingly.

 

[stovepipe]

Your texts are trying too damn hard, along with using dictionary words. Keep it simple and to the point.

 

[Thorninmyside]

@BeExcellent gave a great summary.

The only thing I have to add is that I think you were writing her as if you guys we're already in some steady relationship. It was a little too cutesy.

However, when she reversed, it was a hard reverse, so I wouldn't completely discount the idea of her having gone back to the other guy. She might have been on the fence but then you were a bit too full on for her.

 

[Desdinova]

You come across as trying to hard in your texts for me.

I disagree. His texting style is identical to mine, and I generally don't have any problems. There is never such a thing as "too much texting" unless it's extremely boring 5hit. He was making the interaction fun, enjoyable, kept her interest up, and gave her something to look forward to.

My guess is her ex-BF messaged her and she's trying to work it out with him. He's likely at the top of her high score list. A woman will drop anybody she's seeing to get back with the guy at the top. That is likely what happened to you @narcissist, because she was clearly enjoying her interaction with you.

Here's a side note. First a bit of history with me and my GF...
She pursued me for 2 years. I eventually fvcked her but told her I didn't want a relationship. She got mad and cut contact with me. A few months later, I ran into her and we started chatting again. She told me flat out that she couldn't "just be friends" with me, so I said let's give things a try.

She was seeing a different guy at the time, and it was apparently going well. She immediately dropped his ass the next day so she could be with me. Something like this is likely what happened in your situation. There was nothing wrong with your texting, and she was obviously into you. You were likely dropped because of something that was completely beyond your control. Some other dude (likely her ex) had previously made his emotional imprint, and he's the one who has the power to change her mind. Your only fault is that you weren't dating her before she met him.

Don't beat yourself up over this. Good game doesn't always guarantee you'll get the chick. It just increases your success rate when circumstances are favourable (which they weren't this time around.)

 

[Bingo-Player]

I used to text chicks like you , spinning long paragraphs of nonsense and stuff I thought was whitty and clever

( half of it they wouldn’t even read and the other half they didn’t understand )

You cant display many emotions correctly through text messages meaning you can be the smoothest funniest and wittiest guy in the world unless you know to construct it into a concise message you’re fvcked

My last girlfriend was a proper sassy b1tch when I met her , I got her number in a club I remember texting her something basic the next day about her pretending to be a princess and she took the bait that was enough

Ive met very few who are able to match me intellectually , and I have to constantly check myself that im not going too “deep” with people

i learnt The only type of deep women like is when you’re d1ck is in they’re pu$$y otherwise keep it to a bare minimum

Women change how they “feel” daily , they don’t need any encouragement from us with sprawling texts

 

[narcissist]

Thanks every one. I have a lot to learn still. I will take all this advice seriously.

 

[narcissist]

This is the new wallpaper for my phone bsckground. I refuse to let texting be a sticking point for me.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She probably just cheated on her boyfriend with you and regretted it....

I wouldn't say cheating. She probably told the bf, "I just need some space right now to figure a few things out. Let's take a break."

 

[bigneil]

Sounds like OP found a girl on the rebound. Her ex is still in the picture. You can eclipse him, but slowly, over the next 30-60 days. Unless they live together.

 

[CMNILS87]

Here's the breakdown from the Ladies' locker room:

Why this happened: Complete incongruence on your part as da dynamically and Konada have both indicated. You were cool & smooth in person and humping her leg via text after sex. Not good. This casts you as poser who can play cool/player but really is eager beaver with nothing else going on. Please don't take my comments as put downs to you @narcissist as I am being absolutely point blank blunt how this comes across to a woman.

Why is this my analysis? Your text game shows you had nothing better to do then beg her to go out with you, so she started backpedaling. Here are particulars based on the messages.

1. Do not call a woman "Miss Pamela", who is she, a princess? That is subtle pedestalization. Notice how she is not addressing you in a similarly elevated way Mr. Narcissist?

2. Notice how you were pushing for another get together the very next day? Way too fast/Impatient. Incongruent to your in person presentation that got you laid. You are a man with options, therefore you must exhibit patience/indifference. A man with options is never pushing for a second date the next day, rather he is savoring the experience and weighing his options! A better play would have been to text "Really enjoyed last night, busy next few days. Will be in touch." then go silent for a couple days. Rather you came off as a stage 5 clinger.

3. Look at how you handled the time thing. You are asking for the afternoon, (she flakes) then you are asking for 6pm (she flakes), then you are asking for 9pm (she flakes again). She is now giving you the dog ate my homework excuse for not seeing you and you are still trying to confirm a date. *Awkward.* Next time bail on the set at the first flake (afternoon times don't mesh or whatever). Your response when she backed off the afternoon meetup should have been: "No worries. I'm busy later. Will be in touch." Right now she also thinks you are over eager to get laid again. That works against you while she works out the whole shame thing in the first 48 hours. You gotta be patient, somewhat unavailable, and let her rationalize that sex that quickly was a good idea in her own mind. If you give her the chance (assuming she likes you) she will convince herself IN YOUR ABSENCE. But you didn't give her the gift of that opportunity. Don't make that mistake next time.

4. Too dam many words as already stated. There is an oft stated axiom that "Brevity is the soul of wit." (Shakespeare, the wise old bas tard) I realize it is ironic for me (wordy as I tend to be around here) to say that, but its utterly true. In trying to be clever and witty you have come off as trying too hard.

Let her double or triple text you. So what? You have options. She can wait until you reach out again in a few days. You are not under obligation to respond to every inconsequential text she sends. Let her WONDER about you and what else you have going on.

So in short, Incongruence and Zero Mystery after Sex, which makes you look not so bueno.

If you want to play with salvaging this, wait 3 or 4 days and hit her up with "I'm going to (enter an activity here) later today. Join me." If she responds with a maybe or silence at that point, then it's blown, but if you get a bite, be direct and to the point, but bail if the flakiness starts again. You have to get her out in person again, but it may be too far gone. Live & learn.

Cheers

Bingo!!! The incongruence between real life and text blew her up. I've unfortunately done the same thing to a couple gorgeous plates. Too pushy, too sexual not enough time or being needyish.

Before locking a girl into casual dating or more I always roleplay and really think about what my text is and how it will come off to her.

@narcissist. Next time you're texting a plate that you don't have in bag just yet or super early on. Really think about what you're gonna text and thrn text the opposite easiest dumbest thing you can say.

I.e. Hey chica, had fun last weekend, what's your schedule like thurs? Blah blah blah. Let her respond and give her time. I always like to go 4-5 days maybe even a week between dates and keep chatter low and only to check in on her and check for an availability.

Don't text the alpha wear something sexy bs or any of that. Keep it simple, keep it stupid. Once she gets to know your likes, you can request her to wear some sexy cheekies or dress.

 

[switch7]

For future reference, here is my OLD and text game. After 10 years, I am able to get almost 100% compliance from women. The only principles I follow are framing the interaction as romantic/sexual, qualifying women, and escalating based on their unique qualities. Anything beyond what I do is over-gaming.

http://s1204.photobucket.com/user/tommy_kim1/library/

Are the girls in your album all your current plates?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

This is the new wallpaper for my phone bsckground. I refuse to let texting be a sticking point for me.

That's a pretty good list there. If it's your wallpaper, make sure no one sees it who shouldn't

Lastly, don't beat yourself up too much. Mistakes are just art of the learning process.

 

[bigneil]

Most people who are just getting out of a LTR are not interested in jumping immediately into another one.

This just happened to me.

For 9 months I was dating a married girl and suddenly she got divorced and then I never saw her again. We had at least 9 dates cancelled because she went from being a wild and willing sex slave to (almost but I backed off) LJBF overnight. I had to give her infinite space. Someone else tried to lock her down and we'll see how long that lasts.

 

[fastlife]

I think she was feeling your texting style & playing in your frame. But she's obviously very insecure--and you showed yourself to be too available (both texting & scheduling wise). Too much pressure to early.

Next time an interaction is not going where you want it to go, let it sit and revisit it later.

But I think you can still salvage this. Wait a week or two and invite her over.

 

[GhostOfCordon]

This is all way over analyzed imo. Even up to the very last round of texting she was showing very high interest by what she was saying. She was apologizing for the mini flake and was anxious to see OP again. Her IL was high. And.....While I do think that OP texts way too often, says too much, and tries to be too cute (I have a buddy who does this and the girls he texts all tire of it VERY quickly and therefore his relationships all fizzle out just as fast), that was not the issue here.

The issue was one thing and one thing only.


She got with another guy.....with a 99.999999% chance it was her ex. Her excuse of OP wanting more than what she did was just that, an excuse out of left field.

OP...just stay calm. Do not text her. She will contact you again I can promise you. And when she does? Cut down on the amount of texts, the content of the texts, and the cutsie in the texts and you will be fine.

 

[narcissist]

This is all way over analyzed imo. Even up to the very last round of texting she was showing very high interest by what she was saying. She was apologizing for the mini flake and was anxious to see OP again. Her IL was high. And.....While I do think that OP texts way too often, says too much, and tries to be too cute (I have a buddy who does this and the girls he texts all tire of it VERY quickly and therefore his relationships all fizzle out just as fast), that was not the issue here.

The issue was one thing and one thing only.


She got with another guy.....with a 99.999999% chance it was her ex. Her excuse of OP wanting more than what she did was just that, an excuse out of left field.

OP...just stay calm. Do not text her. She will contact you again I can promise you. And when she does? Cut down on the amount of texts, the content of the texts, and the cutsie in the texts and you will be fine.

I was sure of this as well. And I still am. But it's always good to analyze my own faults in the interaction instead of diffusing my responsibility by saying 100% of the reason is because she got with her bf again and that I did nothing wrong. So yes, very certain she got back with him, but there are still a lot of way I could improve. Thanks for the insight.