Getting over cheating

[bigneil]

Let me use this opportunity to tell you a story.
Would he forget his purpose and his tribe to focus on a woman who's useless to him?
Or would he banish her from his tribe and move on to greater pursuits?

Nominated for SS Post of the Year.

 

[Glassguy]

How do you get over it? The ex cheated and it tough man. NC.. screw other chicks but it still infects my mind.

You don't. If you allow this cheater back into your life, you'll never trust her and always wonder what she is doing when you're not around.

If she cries and says she is sooooooo sorry and it will never happen again, look her right in the eye with a smirk on your face and say "d@mn right it won't, because you and I will never be together again. Your choice, not mine."

One strike policy with cheating or total loss of trust.

 

[bigneil]

You don't. If you allow this cheater back into your life, you'll never trust her and always wonder what she is doing when you're not around.

If she cries and says she is sooooooo sorry and it will never happen again, look her right in the eye with a smirk on your face and say "d@mn right it won't, because you and I will never be together again. Your choice, not mine."

One strike policy with cheating or total loss of trust.

How do you get in a relationship so committed that her having sex with another man means you never speak to her again? You mean marriage? Sharia Law?

This is what men who aren't nearly as hot as their girl do: try to restrict her as much as possible. This is with men with zero options do: stew over how mad they are that she had more than zero options. No wonder why she cheated. Glassguy, do you think women reading your post here would be getting wet? Does your woman agree to these terms? Does she say "I want a commitment from you and I am so faithful that if I ever in my life have sex with another man you should never forgive me"? This sounds like a lonely man fantasizing about what he would want, not a working example of his life. The sexiest thing a man can do is give his woman 100% freedom to choose him.

Who gives a f*ck whether she stays with us forever or not? Men who never go out alone I suppose.

 

[bigneil]

Note: When my last girl (who I was never in a committed relationship with) said she loved someone else I said congratulations, that I loved her, and goodbye. I had a younger girl within 5 days. Men with options don't get mad when their woman chooses someone else. Just implying you would get mad screams "You don't want any of those other, hotter men, do you??"

 

[MrAddiction]

You don't. If you allow this cheater back into your life, you'll never trust her and always wonder what she is doing when you're not around.

If she cries and says she is sooooooo sorry and it will never happen again, look her right in the eye with a smirk on your face and say "d@mn right it won't, because you and I will never be together again. Your choice, not mine."

One strike policy with cheating or total loss of trust.

You are right. But he talked about his ex and I think he wonders how to get over the psychological damage the cheating caused.

 

[bigneil]

You are right. But he talked about his ex and I think he wonders how to get over the psychological damage the cheating caused.

Psychological damage??? What a f*cking p*ssy. No wonder she cheated. Is this f*cking Cosmo? Women don't want men who will need counseling if she scores.

 

[Glassguy]

How do you get in a relationship so committed that her having sex with another man means you never speak to her again? You mean marriage? Sharia Law?

This is what men who aren't nearly as hot as their girl do: try to restrict her as much as possible. This is with men with zero options do: stew over how mad they are that she had more than zero options. No wonder why she cheated. Glassguy, do you think women reading your post here would be getting wet? Does your woman agree to these terms? Does she say "I want a commitment from you and I am so faithful that if I ever in my life have sex with another man you should never forgive me"? This sounds like a lonely man fantasizing about what he would want, not a working example of his life. The sexiest thing a man can do is give his woman 100% freedom to choose him.

Who gives a f*ck whether she stays with us forever or not? Men who never go out alone I suppose.

Its called self respect guy. I know you like the strippers who are probably bouncing on a ton of bones (no sarcasm, just facts) but I have higher standards in other areas besides the looks department.

Now that being said, if its a plate, I really dont care. Just replace and knock her back down on the totem pole.

The thread in question is concerning a "relationship" as in gf, fiance, wife, etc. In 40 years and all of the girls I've banged I had ONE cheat. Ex wife that I was married to for almost 9 years. I wouldnt wish that on ANYONE.

She cheated, did the "I'll do whatever it takes to make this work", she (and later we) did marriage counseling. The whole 9 yards. This was 3 years into the marriage. At year 8 the same behaviors started coming up. I knew without asking. Had some extensive investigative work done and got the evidence. Let me tell you it was a worse feeling than the first time because I allowed it by staying.

She wanted to do the same "work on it" when she was busted and I fvcking laughed in her face and got my self respect back.

I can assure you:

1.) Once a cheater (with you) always a cheater. Some people cheat and then correct it in the next relationship. But if you stay with a cheater, it will happen again.

2.) The life of walking around on eggshells, wondering who they are texting, where they are, etc., is not healthy and downright miserable. It's simply not worth living like that for anyone.

Since she has been remarried and they are apparently having problems because there is question on her faithfulness to the new guy.

You cant control what another person does to you or behind your back. You can in fact control how you handle it.

Neil, if you dont mind some chick wondering off and letting dudes blow loads in their mouth and then come running home to greet you with a hug and kiss, to each his own.

I have too much self respect for that. I am not going to butt heads with you, we just see a lot of things differently because we are looking for completely different women. Beauty is only skin deep my friend. You can still find hotties that arent rubbing on poles for dollar bills and actually have a moral aspect when it comes to a relationship.

 

[bigneil]

Its called self respect guy.

I showed self respect by saying goodbye. Also, I knew her so well I was totally unsurprised when she told me she was in love with someone else (notice she never said she fell out of love with me, meaning feelings are simply on hold). Women don't change spontaneously. There will be tons of signs you missed if you ever feel blindsided.

You on the other hand are showing a lack of self respect in several ways:

1) You feel a need to lay down the law and forbid her from "cheating" (something that only happens when the MAN wants the commitment more than the WOMAN). Women will always do the opposite of what you command. Just asking them to do it shows you fear it. You're sending the following message "You BETTER not cheat on me like all those other dirty wh*r*s! I have self respect!!"
2) You feel a need to punish her for bad behavior. Maybe when women were only with 1-2 men in their lives, but now that it's 21-40 usually, you're being naïve if you think she'll be monogamous forever.
3) You don't have an abundance mentality.
4) You don't have a take it or leave it attitude.
5) You don't understand that women will ALWAYS 100% of the time pull away (and 95% of the time they slept with someone else).
6) You are ending things on a bad note. Trust me, 2 years down the road you won't care who else she was with, you will hope you ended things from a strong position so you can actually have increased her attraction and have great make up sex.
7) You are letting her know it hurt you.
8) You are not approaching this from a giving, generous position of love, but one of her owing you.

My approach is simpler.

1) If they are NOT putting other men above me, I ask them out.
2) If they ARE putting other men above me, I don't ask them out.

 

[MrAddiction]

She cheated, did the "I'll do whatever it takes to make this work", she (and later we) did marriage counseling. The whole 9 yards. This was 3 years into the marriage. At year 8 the same behaviors started coming up. I knew without asking. Had some extensive investigative work done and got the evidence. Let me tell you it was a worse feeling than the first time because I allowed it by staying.

She wanted to do the same "work on it" when she was busted and I fvcking laughed in her face and got my self respect back.

Can absolutely realte to that. Been there Done that. Never ever again.
Through her out of the house for meeting someone behind my back, she wanted to try again, so we did but with seperated housholds and when things did not turn out the way she expected, she startet meeting another guy behind my back - 6month After ther moving out.
Hard luck for her that I more or less knew what might come - thanks to this Forum so I immediately kicked her to the curb. I wanted evidence that this the guys on here are right and maybe hoped that she would be different, eventhough knowing chances were very low. But do not think more or less knowing beforehand what will come up would lessen the pain of the breakup. The second try is never worse it. I wanted evidence, I got it, but the pain is the same, so not worse the try.

If I would have known beforehand that another LTR she har before me ended with her "meeting someoneelse" (in their words it is never cheating) I would not even have gotten involved with her.

 

[bigneil]

This guy gets it right also:

 

[Glassguy]

I showed self respect by saying goodbye. Also, I knew her so well I was totally unsurprised when she told me she was in love with someone else (notice she never said she fell out of love with me, meaning feelings are simply on hold). Women don't change spontaneously. There will be tons of signs you missed if you ever feel blindsided.

You on the other hand are showing a lack of self respect in several ways:

1) You feel a need to lay down the law and forbid her from "cheating" (something that only happens when the MAN wants the commitment more than the WOMAN). Women will always do the opposite of what you command. Just asking them to do it shows you fear it. You're sending the following message "You BETTER not cheat on me like all those other dirty wh*r*s! I have self respect!!"
2) You feel a need to punish her for bad behavior. Maybe when women were only with 1-2 men in their lives, but now that it's 21-40 usually, you're being naïve if you think she'll be monogamous forever.
3) You don't have an abundance mentality.
4) You don't have a take it or leave it attitude.
5) You don't understand that women will ALWAYS 100% of the time pull away (and 95% of the time they slept with someone else).
6) You are ending things on a bad note. Trust me, 2 years down the road you won't care who else she was with, you will hope you ended things from a strong position so you can actually have increased her attraction and have great make up sex.
7) You are letting her know it hurt you.
8) You are not approaching this from a giving, generous position of love, but one of her owing you.

My approach is simpler.

1) If they are putting other men above me, I ask them out.
2) If they put other men above me, I don't ask them out.

Your approach works for hookers and wh0res dude (or models as you call them as they are on your pedestal).

And it's called common sense. Walking away is the most powerful tool you have. You say you do it, then turn around and say you shouldn't. Make up your d@mn mind Neil.

I have abundance. I can and will walk away.

The difference in you and I is I'm proactive and look for the type of person who has LTR potential.

I take women with class and then turn them into a plate and treat them like a wh0re if that's what they deserve.

You take a wh0re and try to treat them like a woman. Then you are reactive when they cheat.....or "fall in love with someone else" as you call it.

Big difference my man. Big difference. You keep getting what you ask for, as do I. Completely different outcomes. You have a fragile ego, thus you have to post pics and pay for other people's opinions of these chicks. Just like you gloat about having money. You are constant looking for other people's reassurance.

I have my own reassurance. I don't need other people to validate what I do and don't do. That's the difference in our outlooks. To each his own.

 

[bigneil]

Neil, if you dont mind some chick wondering off and letting dudes blow loads in their mouth and then come running home to greet you with a hug and kiss, to each his own.

This screams insecurity. You are showing that you hate women and that women never give you what you want.

This is honestly as pathetic as a guy in a gangbang porno accusing the woman of cheating. All women are sleeping around in 2017. Until SHE asks YOU for a commitment, it's not cheating. I'll bet money you asked her for a commitment.

I don't mind wandering off with other chicks and having sex with them instead. You obviously only have one woman and will be heartbroken if she doesn't always hold your hand and tell you that you are the only one. You obviously see women as extremely difficult to find and so rare that you have to set rules so you won't lose them, like a dog fence. And women who won't agree to stay inside their little yard on your leash get sent to the dog pound (you can only date dogs with this strategy). Something tells me you aren't dating 21 year old HB9 women.

I am 100% non jealous and it is freedom. You should have seen the transformation my last girlfriend went through when I didn't care. Most guys can't handle it and they will scream at her (which bounces off her like water off a Duck's back).

 

[bigneil]

 

[Glassguy]

This screams insecurity. You are showing that you hate women and that women never give you what you want.

This is honestly as pathetic as a guy in a gangbang porno accusing the woman of cheating. All women are sleeping around in 2017. Until SHE asks YOU for a commitment, it's not cheating. I'll bet money you asked her for a commitment.

I don't mind wandering off with other chicks and having sex with them instead. You obviously only have one woman and will be heartbroken if she doesn't always hold your hand and tell you that you are the only one. You obviously see women as extremely difficult to find and so rare that you have to set rules so you won't lose them, like a dog fence. And women who won't agree to stay inside their little yard on your leash get sent to the dog pound (you can only date dogs with this strategy). Something tells me you aren't dating 21 year old HB9 women.

I am 100% non jealous and it is freedom. You should have seen the transformation my last girlfriend went through when I didn't care. Most guys can't handle it and they will scream at her (which bounces off her like water off a Duck's back).

Haha. Love your assumptions about people on here. Furthest from the truth.

Tell me Neil, when was the last time you have a mini relationship with someone who wasnt a stripper (I mean model) lol

 

[bigneil]

Haha. Love your assumptions about people on here. Furthest from the truth.

Tell me Neil, when was the last time you have a mini relationship with someone who wasnt a stripper (I mean model) lol

I got my last girlfriend to quit stripping, remember? Nice try.

I've gone on dates with about 20 gorgeous women in the past year, average age 22. The vast majority were not strippers. I got them all rated on Photofeeler if you want to see ratings (average rated 85).

I lived with a Russian girl who wasn't a stripper - want me to text her and show you what she replies with? She will do anything for me.

Note, it's been over 3 years since I had sex with a stripper who I actually met at a strip club. The last 3 strippers I had sex with I actually picked up outside the club, because I can pick up the most beautiful women. Hence, the vast majority of women I pick up are not strippers.

My last girl turned out to be from a rich family and was a sweetheart. Neither of us ever had an STD in our lives, so your worrying about what she did behind my back was moot.

You never showed us any photos of the women who commit to you btw. If your non strippers are such better women, why don't you have a hotter girl than I was dating?

Tell me GlassGuy, when was the last time you dated an HB9?

 

[Glassguy]

I've gone on dates with about 20 gorgeous women in the past year. The vast majority were not strippers. I got them all rated on Photofeeler if you want to see ratings (average rated 85).

I lived with a Russian girl who wasn't a stripper - want me to text her and show you what she replies with? She will do anything for me.

Note, it's been over 3 years since I had sex with a stripper who I actually met at a strip club. The last 3 strippers I had sex with I actually picked up outside the club, because I can pick up the most beautiful women. Hence, the vast majority of women I pick up are not strippers.

My last girl turned out to be from a rich family and was a sweetheart.

You never showed us any photos of the women who commit to you btw.

Tell me GlassGuy, when was the last time you dated an HB9?

I dont starve for validation like you do my man. I dont care how many chicks were scored 85 on Photofeeler. How many of those girls are you currently sleeping with Neil? Nada.

I'd rather feel my women up myself, lay the D and then withdraw attention and watch them continue to come back for more.

I have "dated" 20+ chicks this year. Slept with 14. Didnt sleep with the other 6 because I just wasnt attracted to them on an intellectual or social level. All 7.5s-9.

Fvckable and not fvckable Neil. How many times do I need to tell you this? None were strippers, superficial models, BPD, narcissistic, or complete attention wh0res.

11 of them are still a text of phone call away from getting drinks and hooking up. They still actively pursue my D.

All but 2 have a Bachelor's or higher, 5 with a Masters and 3 with Grad degrees. All between the ages of 25-34.

Last "relationship" lasted almost 3 years. She was 23 when we started dating and 26 when it broke off. Ended over a year ago. HB8, Grad degree from tOSU in Occupational Medicine. Broke it off because she couldnt adjust to me having a daughter (and custody). Walked away. She still texts on occasion. Last text was 2 weeks ago on my birthday. Only reply she got was "thanks".

My game is on point my man. It works for me. I dont get hung up on 1 chick. Ever. I have abundance. If a chick starts to act flaky, I withdraw the little attention they were getting and spend it elsewhere.

So back to the original subject at hand before you turned this into another Neil p!ssing contest that nobody gives a flying fvck about....

If she is a cheater, dont walk away, fvcking run. Go to the next 1 or 3 chicks.

Have some fvcking self respect dude. You are a white night, trying to turn pretty fvcked up young wh0res into relationships.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I dont starve for validation like you do my man. I dont care how many chicks were scored 85 on Photofeeler. How many of those girls are you currently sleeping with Neil? Nada.

I'd rather feel my women up myself, lay the D and then withdraw attention and watch them continue to come back for more.

I have "dated" 20+ chicks this year. Slept with 14. Didnt sleep with the other 6 because I just wasnt attracted to them on an intellectual or social level. All 7.5s-9.

Fvckable and not fvckable Neil. How many times do I need to tell you this? None were strippers, superficial models, BPD, narcissistic, or complete attention wh0res.

11 of them are still a text of phone call away from getting drinks and hooking up. They still actively pursue my D.

All but 2 have a Bachelor's or higher, 5 with a Masters and 3 with Grad degrees. All between the ages of 25-34.

Last "relationship" lasted almost 3 years. She was 23 when we started dating and 26 when it broke off. Ended over a year ago. HB8, Grad degree from tOSU in Occupational Medicine. Broke it off because she couldnt adjust to me having a daughter (and custody). Walked away. She still texts on occasion. Last text was 2 weeks ago on my birthday. Only reply she got was "thanks".

My game is on point my man. It works for me. I dont get hung up on 1 chick. Ever. I have abundance. If a chick starts to act flaky, I withdraw the little attention they were getting and spend it elsewhere.

So back to the original subject at hand before you turned this into another Neil p!ssing contest that nobody gives a flying fvck about....

If she is a cheater, dont walk away, fvcking run. Go to the next 1 or 3 chicks.

Have some fvcking self respect dude. You are a white night, trying to turn pretty fvcked up young wh0res into relationships.

+1.

This is such solid content. A great example of the type of mindset that all guys should be striving for when dealing with women.

 

[thePurple]

OP, you don't need to get over, you should dump her.

 

[MrAddiction]

I thought he already dumped her and just wanted to know how to get over the pain that the cheating caused!?!
If he is still together with her: DUMP her! JUST RIGHT NOW. For your own sake.
Once a cheater always a cheater...I know first hand.
They don' t Even consider the harm they do to you.

 

[bigneil]

You handle a cheater by never committing to them and having four other women along with the ability to find more.

You never know who is a cheater. Cheater normally means they found someone way hotter. Whose fault is that?