Getting over cheating

[finality]

How do you get over it? The ex cheated and it tough man. NC.. screw other chicks but it still infects my mind.

 

[finality]

I've been creeping her social media.. first thing I need to stop

 

[EyeBRollin]

Drop the girl who cheated on you and find some hotter chicks to bang.

If the ex ever hits you up in the future for another chance, either block her or keep her around as a booty call. The latter option could be dangerous if she's one of the crazy types.

 

[finality]

Drop the girl who cheated on you and find some hotter chicks to bang.

If the ex ever hits you up in the future for another chance, either block her or keep her around as a booty call. The latter option could be dangerous if she's one of the crazy types.

Her mom died was she was 7.. kicked out of her home when she was 16. She's the crazy type.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I'm 38. It’s only happen to me 1x with my ex wf.
She messed around with another woman.
I'd bet it's happened before I just never knew.

Don't care to know ether, just move on and forget about her. LA nailed it.

 

[finality]

Here's the thing. I broke up with this girl like 3 times ... mostly for her nagging or something and then would get back together a few days ago. A month ago I literally couldn't stand her..
She was super negative all the time so I dumped her again. I reached out a few days later but this time she didn't come right Back and it sent my hamster wheel spinning.. I persued really hard ..Drove her away .. when she finally came back she wouldn't have sex with me with drove my hamster wheel even more and then I became an afc...
I found out she cheated on me a few
Days after that and i lost my mind. After I found out she cheated I literally feel in love with her over night. It doesn't make sense but the competition of another guy is what drives my feelings for another women. But now that she had cheated im literally broken and can never look at her the same way. I feel like most of this is my fault but I can never trust her anymore... the fact that she is now a ***** is what makes me love her. It's messed up I know but the exact same thing happened with my previous ex. I didn't even like this girl.. I actually cheated on her for a month but the fact that she cheated drives the compition anxiety and now she is the one.

I actually had to spend 1000 ina shrink because it made be develop limerence and I love he now.
I fuked guys.

 

[bigneil]

How do you get over it? The ex cheated and it tough man. NC.. screw other chicks but it still infects my mind.

You get over it by:

1) Never asking her for a commitment to begin with (obviously SHE didn't want one)
2) Always having more than one woman (you' should be texting your backup instead of posting this)

 

[resilient]

OP, block her on Instagram, Fb, Twitter, Snap, etc. -- lurking on any of those outlets will keep you attached to her and wondering who she's with now. Stick to the advice in the main NC thread. What we say there is solid and guys who've been through it all before will remind you to stop creeping on her social media. You need a detox from the psychosis you're putting yourself through with this limerence development.

 

[wifehunter]

It burns, doesn't it?

Let this be a lesson for you.

Learn to screen.

 

[finality]

You get over it by:

1) Never asking her for a commitment to begin with (obviously SHE didn't want one)
2) Always having more than one woman (you' should be texting your backup instead of posting this)

Well she did want a commitment at one point.

She was the first to ask about moving in together. We we apartment shopping together but I ended up telling her that we aren't ready.. this crushed her.

 

[finality]

I went on a date with a new chick tonight. She is pretty hot..at least an 8.. good career.. she actually paid for all my drinks. I realized half way through the date that I didn't really like her so I started disqualifying myself and telling her all the negatives about me but this just made her more interested in me. Gave her a kiss goodnight.. doubt I will take her out again.

A different time and place and I would probably be into this chick but she is just too vanilla compared to my ex.

 

[Milano]

Its a classic noob thing isnt it. It starts with a breakup then none has the strength or self respect to let it go.

I was trying recently with a woman who broke up with her boyfriend only to move in with him in another town and new apartment, contract signed and everything. He got a good job there so she justified breaking up with him lol, gold digging over anything else.

He is a pssy for accepting her breaking up and will suffer the inevitable consequenses of less respect as more and more time goes on. You can never win with breakups involved, funny hearing the excuses people make for themselves, I did it myself.

 

[darksprezzatura]

If a woman's actions affects your self worth, there is one thing you should know.
This always works for me.

Her actions are a reflection of herself not you.

Anything a person does or says is a reflection of his/her perception or reality. It has nothing to do with you.

Do not react to external stimuli. Respond.
By introducing only those people in your life who improve it.

 

[bigneil]

By introducing only those people in your life who improve it.

Sometimes people only improve our lives to a certain point and then we need to let them go, and sometimes our paths cross again. Just because it's meant to be doesn't mean it's meant to be forever.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I have a really tough time with this. I think it stems from childhood and not feeling good enough. I always wonder if whoever she cheated with is better than me - and it's always physically that I'm worried about. I could care less if the guy makes more money, etc. Don't know why but this really bogs me down.

 

[lizardking82]

I have a really tough time with this. I think it stems from childhood and not feeling good enough. I always wonder if whoever she cheated with is better than me - and it's always physically that I'm worried about. I could care less if the guy makes more money, etc. Don't know why but this really bogs me down.

Well, that just means you're not so confidend about your looks/physique. For example, I have a problem thinkin' that some other dude might bang a chick better than I did. I am learning to let go of that and just smash, have my fun, have a good time. Worrying about other people just projects your own insecurities.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Well, that just means you're not so confidend about your looks/physique. For example, I have a problem thinkin' that some other dude might bang a chick better than I did. I am learning to let go of that and just smash, have my fun, have a good time. Worrying about other people just projects your own insecurities.

Yeah I suppose. It's definitely deep-seated sh*t I need to work on.

 

[bigneil]

I have a really tough time with this. I think it stems from childhood and not feeling good enough. I always wonder if whoever she cheated with is better than me - and it's always physically that I'm worried about. I could care less if the guy makes more money, etc. Don't know why but this really bogs me down.

The best you can do is work out more, but never assume there are better men out there, and if you do, at least don't tell her you assume that.

Ok, this is totally random, but I had sex with my last girl on her period once and I went through this healing process and realized that I was traumatized at age 1 by circumcision. It was probably some pretty nurse who I loved who cut 1/3 of my penis off without my permission or any anesthetic. Have any of you ever wondered if this is why we don't trust women and get weak at some point? It couldn't have helped us trust women, or feel very smooth. Anyhow, I wondered if somehow the blood had something to do with my healing. Needless to say, that was the best sex I ever had, and the fastest I ever had three orgasms. I'll never forget her saying "Neil..." and realizing I had passed out after the second time, and being inside her again before I even woke up.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Ironically, the male ego would much prefer to believe they caused someone to cheat because then they can continue the fantasy that they have more control over the situation and future situations than they actually do. Cheating is an ever present existential threat to your future relationships, not just a one-off thing that you can prevent in the future. That's what makes it difficult for men to deal with or even admit happened.

Let me use this opportunity to tell you a story.

During prehistoric times, men grouped together in small tribes instead of being alone to ward off predators, conserve resources to ensure survival.

Alpha

There was always an alpha whose word was revered by everyone in the tribe.

Having bigger muscles to challange predators, a sharper mind, risk taking behaviour and utter selfishness were all assets for the survival of his tribe.

But none of that made him alpha, there could be stronger or smarter men than him to whom he could outsource different kinds of specialised tasks to ensure survival.
Enter Warriors/Representatives of sub tribes /Strategists/Explorers et al.

He used his unemotional and detached mindset to seek solutions to fulfill the needs of the entire tribe and its survival.
He has better things to do than try to fvck women, women themselves want to fvck him.
They follow the alpha.

It's not a joke to be the alpha.
Fvcking women doesn't make you alpha.
I've slept with dozens of women and I am not even close to alpha.

Reproduction
As the tribe needed to reproduce to ensure its survival, it took women by force or show of strength and ensured that the women survived childbirth.

The women were treated as prized possessions to ensure survival and the only work they had was to nurture the kids, be available for sexual access and provide intimacy to the male.

Say a woman had prior kids, they would be killed or left to die while the mother was taken with the tribe.

Cheating
The women in the tribe knew that if they mated with any male of another tribe without being included in his tribe, they might be killed or left to die alone during pregnancy.

This kept their most of their behaviours in check.

Modern times

Women these days arent part of tribes but nomadic with higher survival value than earlier times. There are no predators other than other humans against whom they have the false security of the government.

Modern feminism has empowered women to ride the CC which helps them exploit the attention and resources of males while fulfilling their hedonism.

End
Blatant cheating by a female is mental violence against a male as it leads to extraction of his time and resources for raising other men's offsprings and in casual relationships, there's no law against it.

Cheating by a man who can provide for all his women doesn't lead to problems for a female as her genes are still being passed on, except for dread which gives her vagina tingles to lock a man down for fear of losing his resources and masculinity.

Idiotic females project their dread on guys thinking that making us jealous makes them more desirable, it definitely makes them more desirable to guys with low self esteem.

Dread is physiologically dangerous to a man and not to a woman.


My advice:
Think what an alpha would do if one of his women got impregnated by another man.

Would he forget his purpose and his tribe to focus on a woman who's useless to him?
Or would he banish her from his tribe and move on to greater pursuits?

 

[Red Legg]

Get over yourself OP....I have been in an "LTR" since December with a woman who I know talks to other men on FB messenger ( I looked at her phone and she doesn't know) BUT she is useful to me because she cooks and washes my clothes for me and drains my ballzz every weekend...am I going to not see her anymore just because she might want some side c0ck or validation ? ( I don't give her validation) from some loser whom she doesn't cook and wash for??? the short answer is he!! no...