The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[soulforge]

Out of curiosity, do you always go for older women? A 50 year old bar girl. What are you late 30's?

You put as a negative that she put her


She's 50 and you're late 30's? Have you always gone for the older women?

Your boundaries are slightly confused. You name the fact that she's career driving as a positive yet you put as
a negative that she put her career before you. One of these is a boundary preference the other is an indicator of slightly immature boundary.

Would you every put your career before your "relationship"? You shouldn't. And you shouldn't really expect her to do the same.

Ironically, when you lose some of these expectations they sometimes start to happen by themselves as if by magic. The key is letting of the expectation.

Strengthen your boundary and make a firm final decision on this old gal (in your mind you haven't quite done that yet)

I'm making my decision based on what this relationship has to offer me in the long run..

And it doesn't look good.. thats why letting it go the right and only option

 

[lizardking82]

No man i'm 42 years old.. wish i was 30's

Its true a career should not be put on hold.. she was expecting me to put mine on hold for her... While she persuade her own..

This is what i meant.. sorry for mix up..

Always look at their actions, not only girls, but anyone. I was stupid enough to postpone my own things for the relationship I had with my ex while she did none of that. She pursued her arts university, got accepted, pursues her modeling career and all. Never, ever stop pursuing your things for a woman. They feel then that you're becoming the follower and she the leader and it's biologically and psychologically bad for both of you, but especially for you because she loses respect. Trust me, they will go to the ends of the world to follow a guy that does not give a rat's ass about her plans much and goes on strong with his.

 

[soulforge]

I'm making my decision based on what this relationship has to offer me in the long run..

And it doesn't look good.. thats is why letting it go is the right and only option

 

[guru1000]

No man i'm 42 years old.. wish i was 30's

We are the age. Your ex is 50. My plates or women I have been exclusive with can be daughters of this lady, and they have top-tier looks. This battle that you are fighting is really not about her, but rather about YOU, that is, your own insecurities, so much so that you find it perfectly appropriate to date a woman much older than you as opposed to much younger--and even worse, find her physically compatible, or maybe even superior.

This "battle" is about you devaluing YOU.

If you want to enfranchise from this "prison," begin with a truthful look at your own insecurities. What insecurities prompt your low self-perception whereas you feel you are only good enough to attract women one decade older than you?

 

[soulforge]

Always look at their actions, not only girls, but anyone. I was stupid enough to postpone my own things for the relationship I had with my ex while she did none of that. She pursued her arts university, got accepted, pursues her modeling career and all. Never, ever stop pursuing your things for a woman. They feel then that you're becoming the follower and she the leader and it's biologically and psychologically bad for both of you, but especially for you because she loses respect. Trust me, they will go to the ends of the world to follow a guy that does not give a rat's ass about her plans much and goes on strong with his.

I didn't exactly put my career on hold for her.. i just had to change my work days around for her, in order for us to be able to meet..

My job is abit flexible like that.. where as her job was not flexible.. we only saw each other once a week, pushing it twice a week..

But yes not giving a rats ass is much more effective..

She wanted me to quit my job, leave my home.. and move in with her, in her house.. in her town... told her to get stuffed

 

[soulforge]

We are the age. Your ex is 50. My plates or women I have been exclusive with can be daughters of this lady, and they have top-tier looks. This battle that you are fighting is really not about her, but rather about YOU, that is, your own insecurities, so much so that you find it perfectly appropriate to date a woman much older than you as opposed to much younger--and even worse, find her physically compatible, or maybe even superior.

This "battle" is about you devaluing YOU.

If you want to enfranchise from this "prison," begin with a truthful look at your own insecurities. What insecurities prompt your low self-perception whereas you feel you are only good enough to attract women one decade older than you?

I have plates younger than me.. and have previously only banged chicks younger than me..

My last LTR was 32 years old... but i don't know man.. she was good looking for her age, and we kinda clicked..

But looking back now i'm thinking meh.. i should be perusing much younger chicks.. i look pretty fit for my age... i work out alot... could easily pull in an early 30s chick

 

[guru1000]

I have plates younger than me.. and have previously only banged chicks younger than me..

My last LTR was 32 years old... but i don't know man.. she was good looking for her age, and we kinda clicked..

But looking back now i'm thinking meh.. i should be perusing much younger chicks.. i look pretty fit for my age... i work out alot... could easily pull in an early 30s chick

Early 30s chick? Guy, one of my plates was a former Ford model, she just turned 26. My other plates are 24, 27, 28, and 31. All top-tier looks. As to character, well, can't vouch for that to the exception of one.

You are capable of much more than you think you are. The focus is on you and constant self-improvement. I make it a goal to tend to one physical improvement each week. This month:

Week One: Teeth bleaching
Week Two: Tailor-made pin stripe three-piece
Week Three: Skin care (acid peel)
Week Four: TBD

If you were to commit to one physical improvement each week, in one year, you would look like an entirely new man. As stated, this battle is not about her, its about YOU. And you, my friend, are capable of much more than you think you are. I would never fathom entering an exclusive relation with a 50-year old, and neither should you.

 

[soulforge]

Early 30s chick? Guy, one of my plates was a former Ford model, she just turned 26. My other plates are 24, 27, 28, and 31. All top-tier looks. As to character, well, can't vouch for that to the exception of one.

You are capable of much more than you think you are. The focus is on you and constant self-improvement. I make it a goal to tend to one physical improvement each week. This month:

Week One: Teeth bleaching
Week Two: Tailor-made pin stripe three-piece
Week Three: Skin care (acid peel)
Week Four: TBD

If you were to commit to one physical improvement each week, in one year, you would look like an entirely new man. As stated, this battle is not about her, its about YOU. And you, my friend, are capable of much more than you think you are. I would never fathom entering an exclusive relation with a 50-year old, and neither should you.

You are right, but not all of us can attract those young hot looking chicks..

My main problem right now is finances, heaps of debt.. no chick wants to be with a guy who is broke..

That being said, i am doing my very best to get out of the situation and improve my financial situation..

As for looking after myself improving.. i,m in the gym 5 days a week.. big solid arms, chest, shoulders, legs..

So physically i look good man, but bit on the short side tho..only 5ft7

Not much i can do about that lol.. but i get your point..

I should be ploughing younger chicks.. a 50 year old who frequents bars and is rude, immature... I can do so much better man..

I guess this toxic relationship effected my self esteem somewhat.. will be back on my feet soon enough

 

[guru1000]

You are right, but not all of us can attract those young hot looking chicks..

My main problem right now is finances, heaps of debt.. no chick wants to be with a guy who is broke..

That being said, i am doing my very best to get out of the situation and improve my financial situation..

As for looking after myself improving.. i,m in the gym 5 days a week.. big solid arms, chest, shoulders, legs..

So physically i look good man, but bit on the short side tho..only 5ft7

Not much i can do about that lol.. but i get your point..

I should be ploughing younger chicks.. a 50 year old who frequents bars and is rude, immature... I can do so much better man..

I guess this toxic relationship effected my self esteem somewhat.. will be back on my feet soon enough

Bodyfat %: Is that your current bodyfat in your avatar? If so, I would encourage you to get leaner to improve attractiveness. 10%-12% is ideal for maximum attractiveness (as long as your face doesn't gaunt out if you had a weaker bone structure).

Height: You state you are 5'7. You can buy 2-3 inch platforms and place them in your shoes, for increased presence.

Finances: You will need enough finances to dress sharp, skin care, and other amenities, but no women needs to know about your finances. Women are not attracted to your finances initially, unless you are a renowned mogul or flamboyant in your presentation but you don't want money-hungry wh0res, do ya? Have the confidence of a mogul; that is talk the talk, walk the walk, but finances are none of her business, and should do little with your attracting young, hot women if your presentation/confidence is right.

As to keeping women LT, the illusion of finances can be important to some. Just be the ambitious shark who has the world by the balls, had a temporary setback due to a "risky business venture," and many women will find security in knowing you will bounce back. Been there, done that. Kid's play here.

Kudos for being upfront with your insecurities; you are now well on your way to transcending them.

 

[ApolloSunGod]

Question after 18yrs high school sweet hearth requested a friends request on FB.. I have forgotten about her a long time ago she move on and had kids and is marry.. I moved on as well, it just caught me off guard so the question is should I accept or ignore friends request I have no feelings for this person at all since iam dealing with baby drama at the moment sh*ts just awkward lol..

 

[lizardking82]

Question after 18yrs high school sweet hearth requested a friends request on FB.. I have forgotten about her a long time ago she move on and had kids and is marry.. I moved on as well, it just caught me off guard so the question is should I accept or ignore friends request I have no feelings for this person at all since iam dealing with baby drama at the moment sh*ts just awkward lol..

Don't overthink it much. One step at a time. Accept the request and don't push it further. Soon enough you will understand if she wants sth or just wants to keep up with your life as she gets older. I think it is more probable the later is true.

 

[QuadDeuces]

I smashed a new girl last night and this morning, cute girl.
But it makes me think about my ex more, just wanted to text her, been feeling a little depressed.
How come that everytime I get with a new girl my first instinct is to contact my ex.
Witchcraft....

 

[lizardking82]

I smashed a new girl last night and this morning, cute girl.
But it makes me think about my ex more, just wanted to text her, been feeling a little depressed.
How come that everytime I get with a new girl my first instinct is to contact my ex.
Witchcraft....

How long has it been since your breakup? Maybe you should stop smashing girls altogether for the time being and just relax a bit. I don't think you've fully gone through the pain yet.

 

[soulforge]

Don't know what it is about weekends, but its the time when I usually miss her the most..

I have been banging other chicks, great sex.. but still not feeling that connection i had with her.

I don't understand why I feel like this, because logically i know a relationship with her could NEVER work..

I guess i need to ride out this storm I am feeling today!

 

[Carpathian]

Don't know what it is about weekends, but its the time when I usually miss her the most..

I have been banging other chicks, great sex.. but still not feeling that connection i had with her.

I don't understand why I feel like this, because logically i know a relationship with her could NEVER work..

I guess i need to ride out this storm I am feeling today!

We all know that feeling, hang in there bro. It's your rose tints coming into play and looking back at the good things and never the bad.

 

[soulforge]

We all know that feeling, hang in there bro. It's your rose tints coming into play and looking back at the good things and never the bad.

Yes Fam.. me and my ex had some amazing times.. and those memories keep flooding back, and the dreams do not help either.

But there are too many bad things there, that would make it impossible to be with her..

This is 3 months on extreme NC i have her blocked..

I must admit, this time apart from her, has helped me see things more clearly about her, also some things about myself that I will improve

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes Fam.. me and my ex had some amazing times.. and those memories keep flooding back, and the dreams do not help either.

But there are too many bad things there, that would make it impossible to be with her..

This is 3 months on extreme NC i have her blocked..

I must admit, this time apart from her, has helped me see things more clearly about her, also some things about myself that I will improve

The thing about it is there are better women out there. Ones who will treat you a lot better and fvck you similarly or at a higher level. Plus a really good woman will spend her money on you.

 

[soulforge]

The thing about it is there are better women out there. Ones who will treat you a lot better and fvck you similarly or at a higher level. Plus a really good woman will spend her money on you.

I don't know man? This is something we say to each other on this board to comfort each other.. Chances of finding a good woman these days, is pretty low

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't know man? This is something we say to each other on this board to comfort each other.. Chances of finding a good woman these days, is pretty low

Good ones are usually out of sight. Or in a long term relationship.

 

[soulforge]

How many of you guys where disrespected by your ex or mistreated at some point?

Don't you wish you had walked away or dumped her sooner? You wouldn't be in this much pain right now..

Regrets.. I find regret is a difficult emotion to deal with.. I guess with time those feelings will somewhat disperse..

I suppose it is better late, than never!