Confidence attracts more than good looks

[El Payaso]

I read this somewhere. What's your thoughts on this? Do you think it's true or it's the other way around?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Confidence is more than having success with skanky women in bars [though there is the odd cutie to be found there]. Confidence is simply being confident in yourself... in being who you are. And this quality can be attractive to women of all types. But it can also be the quality that finds many women unattractive and screens them out. It is this behavior that is attractive.

 

[zekko]

If an ugly dominant guy and a good-looking submissive guy walk into a club, my money would be on the ugly dominant guy.

Dominance is not the same thing as confidence though.

 

[zekko]

Dominance is what creates confidence. Confidence comes from positive reference experiences from dominating your world. It doesn't come out from the ether (unless you are Jesus and all knowing).

Dominance and submission is part of the masculine/female dynamic. Confidence tends to fall toward the masculine side, but a person might be confident simply because he is ignorant, or delusional.

Which is why more intelligent men sometimes struggle with women - they analyze too much, and think about what might go wrong. Whereas a simpler minded man might just rush forward.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Dominance and submission is part of the masculine/female dynamic. Confidence tends to fall toward the masculine side, but a person might be confident simply because he is ignorant, or delusional.
an
Which is why more intelligent men sometimes struggle with women - they analyze too much, and think about what might go wrong. Whereas a simpler minded man might just rush forward.

Yes, but imo it is not intelligence per se that is the problem, but a particular form of intelligence. Compare Rodin's stone statue of the philosopher sat down absorbed in thought with Plato's image of the mind astride rampaging horses. This second image has the mind naturally allied with the poetic state... this state is very successful with women. The first is the abysmal modern cogito/ ego. Many men need to be free themselves from what is essentially an ideological/ analytical state of mind.

 

[ubercat]

I work in IT. Plenty of young Project Managers running around posturing and screwing things up. They re not old enough for it to have come from hard fought wins when the odds were stacked.

 

[zekko]

Many men need to be free themselves from what is essentially an ideological/ analytical state of mind.

I'm not so sure. "Success with women" is not the end all, be all. It's the poorer, less educated portion of society that breeds the most.

I know guys who are dumber than boxes of rocks, but they can pick up women without a second thought. They see, they want, they go get. That's good in a "3 second rule" type of way, but I wouldn't trade places with one of them.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I'm not so sure. "Success with women" is not the end all, be all. It's the poorer, less educated portion of society that breeds the most.

I know guys who are dumber than boxes of rocks, but they can pick up women without a second thought. They see, they want, they go get. That's good in a "3 second rule" type of way, but I wouldn't trade places with one of them.

I agree with you. Freeing yourself from an ideological/ analytical mind may involve holding the whole manosphere/ red-pill thing at arm's distance. Red-pill can become just another ideology insofar as people take it too seriously. When you have more going on in your life, you will be a lot less needy and screen women a lot harder.

From previous post; 'Confidence is more than having success with skanky women in bars'.

 

[bigneil]

Confidence only applies to one particular skill. Would Tom Brady be confident ski jumping? Would a DJ here be confident rewiring the FAA's Air Traffic Control system?

Confidence is simply evidence of past success when attempting that particular challenge. Therefore, since it must be predated by success, confidence is an emergent property and can be factored out. Thus, we should focus on achieving success in our chosen field.

 

[zekko]

Confidence only applies to one particular skill. Would Tom Brady be confident ski jumping? Would a DJ here be confident rewiring the FAA's Air Traffic Control system?

Confidence is simply evidence of past success when attempting that particular challenge.

Agreed. I don't think women even understand what confidence is. They seem to see it more as a general trait. Which, again, makes me think that what they are attracted to is actually something other than confidence. Like dominance, bold action, a positive attitude, something along those lines.

 

[RangerMIke]

If an ugly dominant guy and a good-looking submissive guy walk into a club, my money would be on the ugly dominant guy.

Yep... chicks are not going to jump on you no matter how good you look. The MAN has to make a move, and a confident ugly dude will ALWAYS win out over a good looking guy just standing in the corner. Sure the chicks will try and get the attention of the good looking guy, but if he doesn't take the bait and fvcking do something, nothing is going to happen.

 

[RangerMIke]

Confidence is simply the willingness to DO SOMETHING along with a demeanor of expected success. That is ALL it is. Women are attracted to guy that are confident because the purpose of a man is to shape the environment.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

I find that it does vary based on women and where they are from. North American women, especially if white, value good looks the most while latinas and Slavic women are not as picky about physical appearance. I think women from wealthy societies will value looks more because they don't really need a provider or protection, just arm candy.

 

[wifehunter]

Confidence shines through as "good looks".

Your posture, frame, demeanor, body language and how you carry yourself... all play a part.

Beta pretty boys don't stand a chance!

Boom!!!

 

[AlphaNate]

Historically, this is accurate. The real-life issue is that it's going to be easier for a good-looking man to exude confidence than an ugly dude.

 

[Urbanyst]

When is the last time you met a good looking guy without confidence?

Its hard to test this theory because people generally treat good looking people better and it gives them more confidence.

Ugly people with confidence are attractive because they are confident despite being ugly, which suggests a level of strength and value that is higher than average.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Depends on the person's mindset. If you can emit a strong enough aura, then it will outplay someone with just good looks. Fact is though, maybe 1 out of every 80,000 people are like this, probably even less than that.

 

[skinnyguy]

When is the last time you met a good looking guy without confidence?

Its hard to test this theory because people generally treat good looking people better and it gives them more confidence.

Ugly people with confidence are attractive because they are confident despite being ugly, which suggests a level of strength and value that is higher than average.

I have to agree with this. I've never met a jacked good looking guy who wasn't confident. If you're getting validated every day it will lead to more confidence.

It also comes down to women's perception. If a woman gets confidently hit on by a good looking guy she will say he's "cute." If a woman gets confidently hit on by an ugly guy she will say he's "creepy".

Confidence does matter but for a majority of hot women, if you're not good looking it's game over. Keep in mind a lot of those hot women primarily care about what their friends think. If they date an ugly guy their friends will make fun of them.

 

[wifehunter]

If you're relying on good looks for confidence, your confidence is shallow and will fail in the face of female testing.

 

[zekko]

If they date an ugly guy their friends will make fun of them.

Not only that, but women want a "prize" just like we men do. If the guy is not good looking, there has to be something about him that the girl can brag about to her friends: "He's the leader of the motorcycle club", "He owns the construction business downtown", "He's two time state mma champion", something.