The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[MrAddiction]

Smoking? i Do more compare it with heroin.
Good Song to stay sober,

Must have been writen from a guy who had to deal with one of these bytches.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Well the hoovering has begun.
Received a text an hour ago with "Hi, how are you?"

Thinking whats the strongest move to make, ignoring it or tell her something extremely harsh like "fvck off you psycho bytch go manipulate someone else".

Ignoring is the stronger move right?

 

[MrAddiction]

Well the hoovering has begun.
Received a text an hour ago with "Hi, how are you?"

Thinking whats the strongest move to make, ignoring it or tell her something extremely harsh like "fvck off you psycho bytch go manipulate someone else".

Ignoring is the stronger move right?

Ignore, ignore, ignore.
She is searching for attention. Any reply is feeding her need for attention.
Indifference is what you and I are aiming for.
Stay no contact.

 

[dude99]

Well the hoovering has begun.
Received a text an hour ago with "Hi, how are you?"

Thinking whats the strongest move to make, ignoring it or tell her something extremely harsh like "fvck off you psycho bytch go manipulate someone else".

Ignoring is the stronger move right?

Just ignore it. Do not reply in any way. Replying will only feed the beast and delay you moving forward

 

[5chm1dd1]

5 1/2 months since breakup, 5 Months NC

Been busy in my job lately, which is good (as a soldier, I travel a lot, which I really adore)
Last Friday I was in my hometown, a girl from half across the country (7/10) came to visit me, and we were just driving to my tattoo appointment. And, there goes my ex, in a car with another dude. Even though i had that chick in my car, playing with my d1ck while driving, it still hurt a.f.
During the tattoo I was pretty much focused on that pain, which was good at that moment, at least better than the emotional one.

Afterwards, we went to a concert, which was really cool. Came home, had fun, but then as she felt asleep, it hit me pretty brutal.
Since then, I was somewhat drawn back into a state of constant pain, not that bad as it used to be 2 months ago, but still hurts like hell.

Ffs, over 5 Months, 2 ONS and 1 FWB, and still it hurts. The f is wrong with me? f@cking first love ffs.

 

[MrAddiction]

Ffs, over 5 Months, 2 ONS and 1 FWB, and still it hurts. The f is wrong with me? f@cking first love ffs.

Nothing fcuking Wrong with you. Had a similar Situation, Five month after the breakup, I was out to have fun on a concert with a Girl and met my ex there with her new Boyfriend. That night I was totaly down Eventhoug having sex with another Girl. Maybe thats just Part of the game.

 

[QuadDeuces]

I'm not really an active follower of religion but thought this is powerful.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Nothing fcuking Wrong with you. Had a similar Situation, Five month after the breakup, I was out to have fun on a concert with a Girl and met my ex there with her new Boyfriend. That night I was totaly down Eventhoug having sex with another Girl. Maybe thats just Part of the game.

I'm no where near 5 months post break up, but the minute she started pulling away, I got back on the horse immediately, thank god for Tinder.
When I'm wtching a movie and fooling around with another girl, it feels liberating in the moment. But when I drive home I feel sad and lonely.

 

[5chm1dd1]

I'm not really an active follower of religion but thought this is powerful.

Great point he has, but still it's freakin' hard to get to the point to really live by that.
But well, as MrAddiction said it, it's probably part of the game. And the eyes get used to the darkness after a while, so f@ck it.

 

[Roober]

I'm no where near 5 months post break up, but the minute she started pulling away, I got back on the horse immediately, thank god for Tinder.
When I'm wtching a movie and fooling around with another girl, it feels liberating in the moment. But when I drive home I feel sad and lonely.

you need to deal with it. Cry, journal, do whatever... If it has been 5 months, and you still struggle, you have not dealt with the core issue. Other women serve a nice distraction, but do not fill the void. Figure out what is causing the void, and deal with it. You may need to just be alone for a bit, a month or more, doing things you enjoy without the company of a woman. Once you can get over the lonely feeling, you can move forward.

This is one of the biggest reason I have tailored back my OLD use. Getting attention from women is nice, but you have to be okay with not having any of it. Once you are true to yourself, you can be true to someone else.

 

[MrAddiction]

you need to deal with it. Cry, journal, do whatever... If it has been 5 months, and you still struggle, you have not dealt with the core issue. Other women serve a nice distraction, but do not fill the void. Figure out what is causing the void, and deal with it. You may need to just be alone for a bit, a month or more, doing things you enjoy without the company of a woman. Once you can get over the lonely feeling, you can move forward.

This is one of the biggest reason I have tailored back my OLD use. Getting attention from women is nice, but you have to be okay with not having any of it. Once you are true to yourself, you can be true to someone else.

That was a 8 year relationship, with a what turned out to be a BPD/NPD girl. Breakup was now 8month ago. And mistake was to go no contact onl after 5 month and not from the beginning. For the five month it seemed as I could handle it without NC. And as I said before, two things came together. Knowing she already had him moved in and getting severe -live threatening- health issues, which forced me to take pill causing heavy sideeffects such as dpression. And that brought me down mentally and made me think of the Girl again. Unfortunately I still struggle with this sideeffects and the degreasing serotonin. On top side effect caused a Big problem with my hand. Due to that I still can nor work out the way I am used to. Only some leg Workout is possible but that by far is not that effective in causing a positive effect.
Yes I feel fcuked at the moment and I Do not know where my life is going. Some days are better, some like today, worse.
And all this has a massive negative Input on m confidence and everything. Time to Time I feel like the AFC i used to he as a Teen. Weird. Feels as if all that I learned on here is gone.
As Long as I will nor be able to work out heavy again and be able to live my life als I want with travelling I think there will be some Problems.

 

[MrAddiction]

Btw. My Ex NPD/BPD which emailed me on monday, send an SMS this morning: did you receive my Email?

Whats next? Her showing up at my door?
How Do I react than, and "explain" why I did not answer to anything anymore?

 

[QuadDeuces]

"When people can walk away from you, let them walk."

"You have to know when people's part in your story is over so you don't keep trying to raise the dead. When your boy is dead, wash your face and have another baby."

Wow very powerful stuff. Amazing post.

You're welcome, this is the longer version:

 

[5chm1dd1]

Whether it's your first love or your tenth, how difficult the breakup is depends on how addicted you were to the person. This addiction has to be broken, and eventually it will get better one day.

The best way to get over a girl you were in love with is to find a woman who is better and hotter.. and if you can't do that then you just have to remain in strict NC and allow time to heal your wounds.

It's funny how even banging 5 or 10 other women won't cure the stranglehold these women sometimes have over us. Sometimes when I'm out dating or fvcking another girl, it makes me think about her more. But stay strong, eventually one day you will be healed.

Today marks day 12 for me. It's so hard. I think about her all the time, and even banging other girls and having a hotter girlfriend hasn't helped much.

Well, I will. For the sake of my own sanity and health.

But f@ck, is this really what love sometimes is about?
From 15 y.o. On I was fine, not in love or anything. Banged 14 chicks till the age of 21, and then she came into my life.
How the hell can a 9 months relationship f@ck somebody up so hard?

 

[5chm1dd1]

Had some interesting thoughts today while on the road (as I said, I adore travelling alone. Just me, the German Highway without speed limits and some pretty dope music):

Since the breakup, I've done everything you can to help getting over it:
Working out like crazy, doing everything I love (concerts, road trips,...), bang1ng other chicks, improving my life in any possible way, working on myself emotionally and spiritually, facing all my fears and regrets and making peace with them (is that correct like that? "making peace"?)
F@ck, I even jumped out of a plane with a parachute ffs (was incredible, can 1000% recommend).

After having relived all those kickass moments, there was one question still lingering in my mind, and it still does:
WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THE F@CK OVER THAT B1TCH?!
I'm really out of ideas. And please don't tell me that time will do the rest. Because f@ck that, I've had enough of it.
I've never in my whole life been this clueless about my situation.

 

[5chm1dd1]

Yes, love is usually painful.

And nine months is actually a pretty long time, especially because you're young and because it was a very intense relationship. You fell in love, it's ok it happens. Even to the best of us. Be good to yourself, don't rush your recovery. It will happen, you will survive this. Break ups suck, aside from someone you love dying on you it can be the hardest thing you go through.

Remember, time heals all wounds. Stay strict NC, this is your path to salvation and recovery.

God damn it.

Well, I guess that's just me becoming an adult and learning what it's really is about, right?

Damn, f@ck time...

 

[MrAddiction]

God damn it.

Well, I guess that's just me becoming an adult and learning what it's really is about, right?

Damn, f@ck time...

Offtopic: where in Germany are you from?

 

[dude99]

Btw. My Ex NPD/BPD which emailed me on monday, send an SMS this morning: did you receive my Email?

Whats next? Her showing up at my door?
How Do I react than, and "explain" why I did not answer to anything anymore?

Ignore and do not reply. If she just shows up and asks if you got her emails or texts you just say you no longer use that phone number or Email address. Then politely say thanks for asking but i am just on my way out. Goodbye. The key to it is to not give them the reaction they are looking for and to not feed it either. Leave it with i am busy good bye aka a dead end that she can't keep you talking to her. Even if you grab your shoes and jump in the car, leave. Do not entertain her

 

[MrAddiction]

The key to it is to not give them the reaction they are looking for and to not feed it either

I knew this, but was in need of some practical acting advice. So thanks for that.

 

[dude99]

I knew this, but was in need of some practical acting advice. So thanks for that.

No problem.