btownbuck2012, I like your post. But there are certain problems with it. Allow me to explain (and by no means is this a criticism, just perhaps a way to enlighten):
A good man is altruistic whereas a nice guy is selfish. A nice guy is manipulative. His dealings with others are always laced with some type of agenda that suits his own selfish needs. He'll pursue a career or type of job for the money and title as opposed to the actual fulfillment he'll get from doing that type of work. He'll do things and act certain ways at work that solely revolve around his opportunity to advance, make more money and get a better title. The way he treats people, the value of his word and his integrity will mean nothing if it can't help him advance.
This is very true, a Man will do things genuinely, authentically. A nice guy (as RangerMike says) does things out of expectation for reciprocity and how he expects something in return. However, a Man is not necessarily altruistic. Replace that word with 'charismatic' or 'charming'. The difference? A Man will make you willingly obey him. A nice guy will make others do so out of the feeling of owing him something and will come to resent him for it.
Same thing with his group of 'friends'. Nice guys have LOTS of 'friends'. But how many of these people do they truly know? How many of these people will stand by and support the nice guy through the lowest lows of his life? How many 'friends' does he have that will drive half way across the country to seem him when he's going through a divorce or serious medical issue? How many of his 'friends' will shed a tear or cry for him?
And lastly, a good man can probably count on one hand the number of real friends he has. Real friendship takes a LONG, LONG time to develop. My Grandfather told me this. He was a world war 2 veteran who stormed the beaches of Normandy. His father died while he was oversees in the war and his mom died when he was just a boy. He went on to lead a successful life and always had a smile on his face. He was good with people and was usually very magnetic every time he entered the room. But he would always tell me that same thing about real friends being hard to find. I never could really understand that as he seemed to have so many friends but as I got older it made more sense to me. A-lot of people will use you for things; your connections, your money, your body, your influence at work, etc., and to the nice guy this is great because he is, again, only concerned about status. But for the good man, your closest friends will stick by you because of WHO you are, not WHAT you are.
A good man doesn't care about status in regards to women. He tries to f*ck women who he finds sexually stimulating because that is what feels good to him in mind body and soul. If these women have a bad attitude he drops them because sex is never worth putting up with abuse or bad behavior. The nice guy does NOT understand this as sex and companionship is the end all be all for him. In his mind, it's worth putting up with anything for.
Also, sex and the companionship of a woman doesn't define true meaning in the good mans' life. Nice guys don't ever figure this out because they never think for themselves. Any man who has enough experience with women and relationships naturally comes to the conclusion that happiness from either one of these two things or both is fleeting. Happiness from sex and the company of women is FLEETING. True contentment and fulfillment cannot be found in these things. But nice guys place so much importance on sex and the idea of "the one" that they don't have sex with enough women to ever come to this conclusion, therefore they are never able to fully connect the dots and women and relationships maintain themselves as being the holy grail for these guys. But again, a-lot of this mindset STARTS with the idea of status surrounding having a woman and sex as opposed to the actual pleasure. It's the image and idea of these things that trips up nice guys, whereas a good man has peaked behind the curtain and seen these things for what they really are, therefore he is only interested in the pleasure that comes from these things and NOT the status.
Most people are not true friends towards anyone. If you are, you end up getting disappointed, taken advantage of, or people take you for granted and come to expect you. People from older generations may have true friends, but the youth coming of age? No one is true anymore and we have been corrupted by society. Older folks cannot possibly understand what it means. A little bit of background from me so that you know that I am not just spewing garbage: I was born between the changing of generations, and even further so, I was put in school one year ahead. Not only that, but my father comes from the old-fashioned bourgeois family from a third world country (but has also been through some of the worst hardships you could you can possibly live on planet Earth) and my mother comes from suburban America from a working class family. They had us a little later than most folks have kids. In school, I was always with people who were older than me, but outside of school, I was with people of my own age group. It was very confusing for me to understand the differences in social etiquette, what the norms were, how to appropriately respond to certain things, etc. And because of their VERY differing backgrounds, my parents also had conflicting ways of teaching us how we should behave too and messed us all up when we were young (especially me and my older sis). I eventually figured everything out when I got older (and I also figured out some timeless social skills that will always work regardless of generation
). I am very experienced with the different generations and classes of people.
From what I have realized is that true friendship is no longer there anymore. It existed when I was a little kid, but as times changed, I realized that people are pretty much just in it for themselves. The only reason why TRUE friendship was able to develop with the older generation is because they had less technology.
Technology? What? Yes, technology. Social media, the upgrading from timely schedules to pagers to phones to smartphones; it sped everything up. Life moves by so much faster now than it ever did for the older generation, so much so that they anyone in their 50s cannot even COMPREHEND what I am saying. True friends no longer exist for the younger generation because life moves by too fast to enjoy the small stuff anymore that would ALLOW for true friendship to develop. It takes many of those small things to really develop into a true friend. And THAT is why, as you say, real friendship takes a LONG, LONG time to develop. This feeling of companionship is what many of us lack nowadays because we all have a desire to have a sense of love and belonging somewhere. That is one of the reasons why men nowadays place so much value on a woman. We all long for this TRUE companionship that is nowhere to be found anymore. Engaging in an LTR is one of those ways to be ABLE to develop true companionship which is why so many guys want girlfriends and place women on that 'holy grail' you said talked about.
I can't have more than 10,000 characters on here so I will continue this in my next post.
