Messed up Royally

mrgoodstuff

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So you're saying marriage and declaring a relationship on Facebook to be greater than swallowing? I'll agree. It doesn't exactly diminish swallowing though.

She had four orgasms for every one of mine on average. She told me she came on the first date (admitting it months later).
What our guy was saying, bigneil was that swallowing is not an achievement among a millinial woman. Maybe in our generation. But he's saying the millinials swallow for anyone so they don't have to worry what to do with the ejaculate.
 

bigneil

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What our guy was saying, bigneil was that swallowing is not an achievement among a millinial woman. Maybe in our generation. But he's saying the millinials swallow for anyone so they don't have to worry what to do with the ejaculate.
I'm pretty sure she wasn't worried about what to do with the ejaculate in my bed.

Anyhow, I think blow jobs are overrated so it's sort of a moot point.
 

Milano

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Agreed. Blow jobs are cool when you havent had one in a while but the creampies are where its at
 

bigneil

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After hearing on Saturday that she needed to go to the hospital Monday, I just learned that my mother survived major surgery today (Tuesday). She had to have a complete hysterectomy. There was a large tumor but it was not cancerous. It's a strange and sad feeling as that was the womb from where I came from. It's another sign of our mortality. This was the reason I was so distraught to begin with which caused me to mess up my relationship Saturday.

I realized that when we are dealing with a crisis and/or are exhausted, we become more cranky and emotional and we should avoid talking to our significant others during those times (and also, while we should be supportive, we should avoid them when they are dealing with such issues).

Also, if you can, please give your mom a hug or a call.
 

bigneil

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Update: So I waited a week and told her I wasn't myself the last time we communicated. She responded and told me "I want to get back together. I like you a lot, but you were too emotional, and to be honest it was impeding things, but I want this to work". I explained what had happened regarding my family, and that I am not normally emotional. She apologized and we agreed to get together again. Still, it's sad that women these days despise even a justified glimpse of male emotion. Forgive me if I care that my mom almost died.
 

sazc

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Update: So I waited a week and told her I wasn't myself the last time we communicated. She responded and told me "I want to get back together. I like you a lot, but you were too emotional, and to be honest it was impeding things, but I want this to work". I explained what had happened regarding my family, and that I am not normally emotional. She apologized and we agreed to get together again. Still, it's sad that women these days despise even a justified glimpse of male emotion. Forgive me if I care that my mom almost died.
If ur emotional (ur toats emotional, don't try lying to yourself) you and she she are going to have to learn to deal with that, and integrate it into the relationship. The good news is that she said she's willing to do work with you in the relatio ship.
Cheers!
 

bigneil

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If ur emotional (ur toats emotional, don't try lying to yourself) you and she she are going to have to learn to deal with that, and integrate it into the relationship. The good news is that she said she's willing to do work with you in the relatio ship.
Cheers!
Is it just a coincidence this is happening after we made mad, passionate love? I think we are both pushing each other away because we fear the connection we happened upon.
 

devilkingx2

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Update: So I waited a week and told her I wasn't myself the last time we communicated. She responded and told me "I want to get back together. I like you a lot, but you were too emotional, and to be honest it was impeding things, but I want this to work". I explained what had happened regarding my family, and that I am not normally emotional. She apologized and we agreed to get together again. Still, it's sad that women these days despise even a justified glimpse of male emotion. Forgive me if I care that my mom almost died.
the trick is that if you fear you'll say something dumb when you're upset, simply avoid people until you calm yourself down
 

sazc

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Is it just a coincidence this is happening after we made mad, passionate love? I think we are both pushing each other away because we fear the connection we happened upon.
Very likely, fear of being vulnerable and exposed with someone will do that to people. The interesting thing is that most people don't realize that fear is what is motivating them to push the other person away. Be mindful of your behavior towards her. Before you act contemplate, I don't think you should be hardnose, but I think you should be compassionate embracing and maintaining DJ frame
 

bigneil

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Very likely, fear of being vulnerable and exposed with someone will do that to people. The interesting thing is that most people don't realize that fear is what is motivating them to push the other person away. Be mindful of your behavior towards her. Before you act contemplate, I don't think you should be hardnose, but I think you should be compassionate embracing and maintaining DJ frame
One moment of weakness was all it took.

In the same sentence where she confessed she likes me a lot, she described herself as unemotional. I'm not sure if that means emotionally unavailable. I think she meant her personality type. She is like Mr. Spock (Logical/Illogical, reacting with denial and dismissal). But I'm more Captain Kirk. He is much more animated and does get emotional (Right/Wrong reacting anger).
 

bigneil

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I thought you tested INTP. Anyway, no it's not a great fit, a cold woman and warm man. She's not in your corner.
She was never cold. She is always naturally warm and sweet. And to be honest, I've seen her be emotional many times. I think she was just underscoring what we all know, that men are never allowed to be emotional in 2017. It's like they want us to be sociopaths.
 

bigneil

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I just tested ENTJ but I don't think these tests mean that much. I was referring to the 4 personality types of Driver, Analyst, Feeler and Elitist ("How Can I Get Through To You D. Glenn Foster 1994".


ENTJ
Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
"I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?"
ENTJs have a natural tendency to marshall and direct. This may be expressed with the charm and finesse of a world leader or with the insensitivity of a cult leader. The ENTJ requires little encouragement to make a plan. One ENTJ put it this way... "I make these little plans that really don't have any importance to anyone else, and then feel compelled to carry them out." While "compelled" may not describe ENTJs as a group, nevertheless the bent to plan creatively and to make those plans reality is a common theme for NJ types.

ENTJs are often "larger than life" in describing their projects or proposals. This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy. In combination with the natural propensity for filibuster, our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline.

TRADEMARK: -- "I'm really sorry you have to die." (I realize this is an overstatement. However, most Fs and other gentle souls usually chuckle knowingly at this description.)

ENTJs are decisive. They see what needs to be done, and frequently assign roles to their fellows. Few other types can equal their ability to remain resolute in conflict, sending the valiant (and often leading the charge) into the mouth of hell. When challenged, the ENTJ may by reflex become argumentative. Alternatively (s)he may unleash an icy gaze that serves notice: the ENTJ is not one to be trifled with.

(ENTJ stands for Extravert, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging and represents individual's preferences in four dimensions characterising personality type, according to Jung's and Briggs Myers' theories of personality type.)
 

The Duke

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I've done the Meyers Briggs personality test with many people I know very well. It has been extremely accurate.

I always do this with do new girls. Helps me understand their behavior better and know how to deal with them effectively so I get the most out of our relationship.
 

bigneil

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"ENTJs are often "larger than life" in describing their projects or proposals. This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy....our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline."

Sounds like a stripper alright. I never knew we had so much in common.
 

The Duke

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"ENTJs are often "larger than life" in describing their projects or proposals. This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy....our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline."

Sounds like a stripper alright. I never knew we had so much in common.
I was going to say this before you highlighted these things(larger than life, salesmanship, story telling), but I definitely see that with you on this forum.
 

bigneil

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It took 21 days (three one week breaks with a couple texts in between) but she is back to being a sweetheart and our date is now tomorrow. She was smart enough to realize I wasn't being myself and she asked me about it and I gave her credit for how well she knows me and she was thrilled by that.

I think the first breakup in a relationship is important for several reasons.

1) Both of you learn how the other will act when it's over. Will they say really mean things to burn the bridge, things they hated about you all along? Will you destroy her attraction forever by being weak? Can you actually increase her attraction by being strong?
2) She can realize you won't stalk her (don't btw).
3) You realize what you meant to each other when you lose them.
4) Makeup sex after absence increases the bond.

However, the second breakup hurts the relationship and subsequent breakup doom it. It's like bending a wire too many times. At first you can shape it to get around an obstacle. But then you weaken it. We must learn from the mistakes of the first breakup.

Be willing to walk, but never threaten to end the relationship.

In this case she was upset about something and I tried to force her to ignore it and that led to the breakup, which only buried the problem. As soon as I apologized and she accepted the first problem still had to be addressed, and that one took time.
 

bigneil

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You really are putting way too much stock into a pseudo-relationship with a promiscuous damaged woman
Sure. I'll cancel my date with an HB9.9 who is 25 years my junior immediately after 4 months of great (uncommitted) sex (and one breakup that I instigated and regretted), and with her more excited to get together than ever (and another photo shoot planned for tomorrow). Thanks for the great advice.

What part about my generic advice regarding breakups do you disagree with, except the part about my having a much hotter girl than you?

How is she damaged more than average? Can any qualities offset damage (such as her being a supermodel, having a perfect body, and being an artist, singer, dancer and writer)?

Do you know any HB9.9 21 year olds who are not promiscuous (she's actually only had 2 long term relationships in her life before me).
 
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