You have a 3rd choice. Find raw material you can work with and develop it. Mayweather wasn't that good on day one. Mad talent, yes, but refined through discipline and training and focus.
Remember from a while back you & I had a discussion about where these women are. They partly develop over time into what you want through personal growth just as we all do. It should be obvious that the better the raw material the better/faster you get the result you want from the development, but you can influence development through your leadership (training/guidance).
Next logical question is OK. How to do that? Keep doing what you are doing to improve yourself and conduct yourself in a way that is true to yourself; repair your own issues you have identified (and as you progress you'll get better at reading intrinsic characteristics in other people).
In short lead and do what is best first and foremost for
@Tenacity . I don't have any quarrel with
@Poon King or any other poster when he advocates for leadership, autonomy and self development/empowerment. I simply have a divergent perspective as far as definition from some.
Let's say you find a chick who meets most of your criteria but her finances are a hot mess
Aside: (this was me many years ago by the way - my Dad helped me once and then I got right back in the mess. He never helped me again. He let me struggle. I did and I am a financial success as a result of his REFUSAL to further assist me).
You can lead through your actions to model better financial habits and you may improve her through your example (and by NOT giving handouts - handouts dis-empower people). Teach her to fish instead of giving her a fish you caught.
You have to be the judge about how best to invest your time for time is the most valuable asset you possess. Should you seek raw material and try to develop it or should you look for these characteristics after they manifest? Or should you be open to either and thus increase your odds (winner winner!) and then decide about each woman in real time. Only you can determine what is best in your environs.