Why online and app dating simply doesn’t work

[Bingo-Player]

2016 was a year for me where I didn’t have much free time to meet as many women in reality as I probably should have

This led me to heavily using apps like tinder and social media such as Facebook / snapchat in an attempt to meet some

I had mixed results but on the hole unless you have mutual friends with her or some type of history it just doesn’t work and here’s why


1) women are emotion driven its all about how you make them feel , how can you make a woman feel anything through a text based message when she’s never met you before !?! well the answer is you can’t, and if you can then please feel free to tell me how

2) Women are extremely temperamental ……you ever been having a nice flowing text convo with a chick and suddenly she just vanishes off the face of the earth with the only plausible explanation being she must have just been hit by a bus ? yea me too
Again unless she has that emotional connection to you , you can get used to this sort of behaviour

of course in reality it’s a lot harder for a woman to simply disappear whilst you are in the middle of having a conversation with her

3) There are also seriously badly jaded & damaged women lurking on sites like tinder / POF / Match and you have to ask yourself what exactly a woman is doing on these sites in the first place

When you think about it dating for normal women even with average looks shouldn’t be difficult all they really need to do is doll themselves up and not be overweight although I know guys that aren’t even fussy with that, society ensures this by placing pressure on the male to always “make the first move”

Again in reality its difficult for a woman to hide personality flaws

4) don’t underestimate how many matches girls on these sites are getting , a simple bit of cleavage is likely to attract at least 500 – 1000 matches easily even if a lot of them are guys she doesn’t want they are still there telling her how “beautiful she is “ its easy for people to send messages

Of course in reality not every guy is going to have the confidence to approach a woman whilst she’s off guard in a coffee shop instantly setting you apart from the herd

Now don’t get me wrong I have had SOME success with tinder I would say ive gotten laid between 5 & 10 times through it but only 2 or 3 of those have been from a completely cold opening the others I already knew or had some sort of mutual friend with

To summarize app and online dating is a waste of time , you may get lucky once in a blue moon but overall the work and trawling required to do it far outweighs the rewards

Your far more likely to get laid by approaching that chick reading a book in the coffee shop or even better getting yourself involved in a social circle that has plenty of women in it

 

[SmooveMooves]

I agree.

 

[Milano]

Its important to know just how important great pictures are at this market too. I changed 2 pictures on my tinder profile and I got laid by a beautiful blonde woman who at this point in my life is out of my league. I got a lot more matches compared to the time when I lived in a city that was 7 times bigger.

The pictures have to show you doing something of higher social value, I dont give a fuk if you like to ride ponies it wont get you laid.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I had mixed results but on the hole

best typo ever in a post about vagina

 

[Roober]

I have mixed feeling about it. Had much more success on coffee meet bagel. I think that is because it is a much lower volume. POF, Tinder, etc. are much better for women...

 

[RedZone]

I think like anything else it's just a numbers game. Some girls will be interested and some will not. The more you play the game. The more chances you have to win.

 

[Tom Shivoe]

Also respectfully disagree. I had a short phase of internet dating before my previous marriage that was short because I ended up in a relationship with the 3rd girl I met that lasted nearly a year. I don't honestly think the reason that relationship ended had anything to do with its internet origins. Just broader incompatibility that emerged after we'd been together that length of time.

I was challenged about internet dating by a frenemy at work and I shut the guy right down by saying, I'm busy, I work a 60-hour-plus week in a professional job, so do most of the girls I might want to get with in this city (London), I don't have time to take a course or count on randomly meeting someone at a party, so let's cut the bullsh1t. The guy was left going, "oh... OK". (I guess I remember this so clearly because I win that way so few times...)

 

[Young OG]

I disagree. I used to hate OLD. It took me a while to get good at it and figure out what works. Your pics need to be really good and if your not that good looking then your screwed. I banged 2 girls in the last month off OLD.

 

[Red Legg]

It was a very good year for me on OLD.I fvcked about 10 off of Tinder,abt 5 off of Craigslist,a couple off of Ashley Madison,hell this morning I even pulled a good looking desperate black girls number off of Skout for Christ sakes.I agree you have to look good I am in shape and am always told by the ladies that I have "killer blue eyes".

 

[Bible_Belt]

Between fetlife, craigslist, and pof, in 2016 I fvcked an 18 y/o, a 19 y/o, a 20 y/o, and a 21 y/o. That's like hitting for the cycle in a baseball game.

 

[El Payaso]

OLD works if you're attractive.

If you're not then the odds will be stacked against you.

 

[skinnyguy]

OLD works for attractive guys but they don't need OLD to pull.

The main reason you would go on OLD is that you can't pull in real life, but girls online act pickier cause they are getting 200 messages per day so your chances of pulling are worse online if you're average or ugly.

Women have way more power than men do online. If you're ok with that dynamic, go for it.

In my experience all women online are seeking tall white males. Minorities get laughed at by women online.

Bottom line - if you're a tall white male, you should be on Tinder, OKC, POF, Bumble, and Match.

Other guys might have success but after many long hours of sending stupid messages that pander to women.

 

[Bible_Belt]

OLD works if you're attractive.

I don't disagree. Fetlife is different, though. I see a lot of ugly old men with hot young girls, because they know how to cater to their weird fetishes. Women are into a lot of sick sh!t that personally doesn't float my boat, but if you can get into that stuff, it's an easy way to fvck women who are much more physically attractive than you.

 

[Red Legg]

@skinnyguy. I disagree that men that do OLD can't pull offline,I do both,but then again I am one of those "tall white males" you talk about,I'm 6'3".

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Said it 100 times on here OLD does not work well for me, but in real life I kill it.So there has to be some type of variable or variables to OLD. I know of less attractive dudes who pull more than me on OLD

 

[BeTheChange]

OLD is a skill in itself and it takes genuine investment to figure out what works for you but once you do....boy, the floodgates will open and you will laugh at how easy the game is.

Once you have a GREAT set of pictures and a profile that fits your vibe OLD is easy mode. Just be prepared for flaking. Success in OLD is volume driven. I often have 2 or 3 girls booked in on a single night with the in built expectation some will flake. Adapt or suffer.

I used to think like OP, until I rolled up my sleeves and gave it a good go. Now if I told you the number of chicks I've banged in the last 2 months off Tinder alone, you wouldn't believe me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Respectfully disagree.

In my opinion women are women. Doesn't matter if you meet them via online. I have full respect for OP but in my experience all 4 points in his thread are just as pertinent in "the real world" as they are online.

Same goes for the DJ. A confident "real world" DJ is a confident OLD DJ...regardless of the way or place he meets women.

I agree with Espi...getting laid online is so easy it should be criminal. I have no idea how guys on here cry about OLD...sure, you might have to go through a bunch of chicks before you figure it out, but once you do, there is no reason why you can't have 4 or 5 chicks in rotation after a few months.

Granted, there will be ones that drop off constantly and you will probably need to be replacing 2-3 of them every 4-6 weeks, but you'll get 2-3 you will have for 6+ months if you are hitting it right...

It's easy if you are willing to put in enough work and actually go out and find out what works and what doesn't work and fine tune your game accordingly. Personally I feel people who always rip on OLD simply go out a few times and if they don't get laid immediately they say it sucks, or they go out and keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again date after date that don't work and never spend any time figuring out what they did wrong and fixing it do they get better results.

Well, it doesn't suck, you just didn't put in enough time or effort to get the results you wanted. It's like anything else in life, you get out what you put in. I mean, if you can't get laid online, you damn sure aren't getting laid off-line, so all things considered, you can get really good results with very minimal effort online--- I'm not sure why people aren't all over it. There is no bigger bang for your buck effort wise, and I mean that both literally and metaphorically.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OLD is a skill in itself and it takes genuine investment to figure out what works for you but once you do....boy, the floodgates will open and you will laugh at how easy the game is.

Once you have a GREAT set of pictures and a profile that fits your vibe OLD is easy mode. Just be prepared for flaking. Success in OLD is volume driven. I often have 2 or 3 girls booked in on a single night with the in built expectation some will flake. Adapt or suffer.

I used to think like OP, until I rolled up my sleeves and gave it a good go. Now if I told you the number of chicks I've banged in the last 2 months off Tinder alone, you wouldn't believe me.

EXACTLY what I am talking about...I probably had to go through about 30 chicks before I had any real success to the point where I knew every date I went on was about a 1 in 2 or 1 in 3 chance of me banging that woman within the next 2-3 weeks. Although I have to say the best out of all the chicks I fvcked from OLD was the chick I met on my first on line date...fvcked her the second date, banged her about 5 or 6 more times and then she started really falling hard for me and I kind of got spooked and ghosted her...still think about that after all these other chicks now...I thought it was going to be easy meeting freaky wild chicks I had great sexual chemistry with, but sadly not the case...sure I've met some that have been really good, but not at her level, we just had some type of magnetic attraction where we couldn't keep our hands of each other for more than 5 minutes...

Once you get to that point, your success skyrockets because you literally exude confidence...you are geting laid so much and so often that you are literally tapped out some days and have to turn it down....you can only fvck so much during a given week, and these chicks are wanting it ALL the damn time...eventually it hurts from fvcking so much and you just need 4-5 days off...

Put the time and effort in, and you will reap the rewards in a way you would never imagine. Just never expect anything tho...you could fvck a chick better than she ever has gotten fvked in ehr life 3 or 4 times and then never here from her again...I used to think that fvcking a woman right would always make them want to see you again, but I don't think it's the case so much anymore...you'll get at least 4 or 5 bangs if you hit it right, but anything past that point is a coin flip now...it's so weird these days, but so easy to find new chicks it just doesn't matter...

 

[Ratiocinative]

OLD works just fine, as long as you understand the pros and cons of what it has to offer. The pro of online dating is you get a decent insight into the kind of woman she is, the down side is it is a lot harder to make a lasting impression than it is in person.Women have literally 100s, if not 1000s of guys to choose from, so unless you're super ripped and a master of pickup skills, you need to rely on more than just being a strong, confident, masculine guy.

Online dating allows you to easily and quickly identify women of specific personality types or whatever other attributes you are looking for in a women. If you're a business guy, you can find women with lots of degrees and possibly even women running their own business. If you really like women with lots of piercings and tattoos, you can find them. If you want a family women who wants a dozen kids, put that in your profile. Spending your time messaging those women and you should be able to meet some compatible women without having to spend hours and hour and hours to finally get on a date with a woman who after 10 minutes you realize you don't have any real interest in her beyond the fact she's hot.

Now sure, if you're just looking to sleep with as many different women as possible then go ahead and cast a wide net and message every woman you find attractive, but you're going to have to invest a lot of time. IMO, you should decide what kind of women you like, setup your profile so it attracts those kinds of women, and just spend 30-60 minutes a few times a month scanning through profiles and message the ones you like. If you've got a really great profile you'll have women of your type who message you first too. One nice thing about Tinder is you can set it to 1 mile radius and it will still show women who matches you from any distance, so you can quickly see who matched with you. Easy way to maximize your time messaging women who likely have interest in you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

how would you and @BeTheChange rate yourself in looks?

I'm an average looking dude but I am jacked...as in I can wear a winter coat and people will still notice I'm jacked...never underestimate how much being jacked helps you out with women. It does a hell of a lot of talking for you without you having to open your mouth. It also does a hell of a lot of for you in the bedroom too...God help the woman who's on the receiving end of what I am dishing out...

Does it help me out in al situations? No...some women prefer the better looknig dudes or guys that aren't muscular or who are taller, etc...

But I think I am lucky in that the ones who tend to like me see me as someone they want to use for sex(I don't have many women who view me as a relationship type of guy...they see me as a bad boy and a player and someone that screws a lot of women from what they almost universally tell me), so it typically happens pretty quickly as long as I escalate properly.