When a woman is interested, she'll do ANYTHING to make things happen

EyeBRollin

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Save yourself the hassle. Save her the hassle.

If she's not enthusiastic about going out with you, withdraw the offer. Weather is always a ****ty excuse. Her dog may as well ate her homework.

At the very least, the fact that you withdrew the offer may increase her interest OR respect for you.
 

sazc

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Save yourself the hassle. Save her the hassle.

If she's not enthusiastic about going out with you, withdraw the offer. Weather is always a ****ty excuse. Her dog may as well ate her homework.

At the very least, the fact that you withdrew the offer may increase her interest OR respect for you.
I am totally on board with withdrawing the offer. You'll learn REALLY quickly if a female is interested if you do this. If you withdraw and she isnt all over it trying to counter, you jsut saved yourself a lot of time on something that may have been worthless.
 

bigneil

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Postponing is also a good technique to see interest level. They will say "Oh no, I was really looking forward to this" if they were going to go. Obviously, you should only do this if your reason is legitimate.
 

Glassguy

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Postponing is also a good technique to see interest level. They will say "Oh no, I was really looking forward to this" if they were going to go. Obviously, you should only do this if your reason is legitimate.
It doesn't have to be legitimate, especially if there is little build up before the date.

If there have been sexual tension and enuendos, stay the course. If there has been little reaching out or initiation of contact on her part, scrap the date as a good sh!t test to see where her head is at.

Of course if you're spinning other plates that doesn't leave you sitting at home upon flaking, unless of course you want to.
 

bigneil

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It doesn't have to be legitimate, especially if there is little build up before the date.
True, but members should note that women do this too (often when there IS buildup), so we shouldn't declare a relationship over if she doesn't text back by saying "if a woman is interested in you, she will crawl through poop".
 

Glassguy

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True, but members should note that women do this too, so we shouldn't declare a relationship over if she doesn't text back by saying "if a woman is interested in you, she will crawl through poop".
It's because of a lack of interest if a woman does it. Trust me on that.

Dating is a double edge sword if you let it be.
 

bigneil

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It's because of a lack of interest if a woman does it. Trust me on that.
Always? For the entire first year of dating? Regardless of how much sex you've had?

Not only do I not trust you on that, but this is the most blatant loser mentality pushed on this board.

Notice the dichotomy of:

1) Date goes well for bigneil - Beta bucks!
2) Date goes less than 90% for bigneil (despite harem) - Permanent low interest - case closed!

I'm honestly wondering if any of you ever dated a woman long term. Women send mixed signals. That is dating 101. They don't send mixed signals on the first date. They will have sex on the first date if they are interested. After that, they will try to gain control as Poon King has been outlining, using sex and rejection.

By having this loser mentality of "If you don't treat me like a King indefinitely then you rejected me forever", you will convey this to her when she tests you by postponing/not replying. I challenge any man who ever had a 90+ day relationship to say they never had a hiccup.
 
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Glassguy

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Always? For the entire first year of dating? Regardless of how much sex you've had?

Not only do I not trust you on that, but this is the most blatant loser mentality pushed on this board.

Notice the dichotomy of:

1) Date goes well for bigneil - Beta bucks!
2) Date goes less than 90% for bigneil (despite harem) - Permanent low interest - case closed!

I'm honestly wondering if any of you ever dated a woman long term. Women send mixed signals. That is dating 101. They don't send mixed signals on the first date. They will have sex on the first date if they are interested. After that, they will try to gain control as Poon King has been outlining, using sex and rejection.

By having this loser mentality of "If you don't treat me like a King indefinitely then you rejected me forever", you will convey this to her when she tests you by postponing/not replying. I challenge any man who ever had a 90+ day relationship to say they never had a hiccup.
Loser mentality? Hardly. I have more dates with different women than I have time.

In a LTR, I would somewhat agree with you. Anything in the first month and especially before you've actually met up, I won't vary from my process.
 

bigneil

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In a LTR, I would somewhat agree with you. Anything in the first month and especially before you've actually met up, I won't vary from my process.
Exactly. We need to make this distinction. Remember: it takes women 2-3 months to fall. Once they fall, the games and manipulation starts. When we apply the same rules as we did seducing her, we fall into her trap.

Observe my example:

1) Romance.
2) 10 day delay
3) Sex
4) 13 day delay
5) Sex
6) 6 day delay
7) Great Sex
8) 21 day delay
9) Mad, passionate sex
10) Most well planned date in history
11) Date postponed due to flu
12) Bitter members insisting it's over due to low interest, on Christmas
 

Mike32ct

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@Who Dares Win @BeExcellent is actually correct in what she says. I tend to signal my interest in a male and then back off. I dont know what social, familial or professional obligations they have. I would feel like a moron and as if I was signaling that I was needy if I started texting, contacting, etc and they were busy. A man's obligations can be demanding, the last thing they need is a female adding to their stress. I signal once and back off out of respect for the male.

I'm a professional female and tend to date professional men. That may be/make the difference.
This is all totally understandable. But plenty of guys may move slowly because we don't want to feel like morons because we misinterpreted her "friendliness" as "interest." Or we don't want to look needy or like a total hornball who hits on everyone (immediately) that flirts with us.

So the guy (especially a more shy guy) may stall a bit to gather more evidence that she's interested before making a move. Then she assumes that he isn't interested, and she gives up.

It's nobody's fault really, but I'm sure there are plenty of missed connections that way.

I guess the takeaway here is that a guy needs to make a move quickly and let the chips fall where they may.
 
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MatureDJ

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About two weeks ago, I asked a girl out on a date. We'd already been on two dates so far. She gave an excuse that the weather would be bad due to excessive snow.

I checked the forecast and told her it wouldn't be snowing until the next day. She insisted that it was going to snow so I sent her a picture of the forecast. She saw it and said "Oh, okay. Let's go." Mind you I was also going to pick her up.

I could sense a flake coming anyway and sure enough two hours before the date she texted saying "I'm not feeling well. Let's go another day."

Lmao. I told her "alright" and we never texted again.

Today, my friend tells me about this date he's excited for. He says the girl wants him to pick her up because it will be snowing and she's a bad snow driver. He said she even offered to pay him gas money. He shows me a picture of the girl and sure enough it's ol' girl who flaked.

I couldn't contain my laughter.

Listen to what they say here. If a girl wants to go out with you, she will manipulate the moon and stars to make it happen.
I am not sure why you are laughing; it sounds like your friend has been granted access that has been denied to you. BTW, I've had women like this, but not since I have hit age 15.

But yes, I am now at the point where I do not even try to ask a woman out a second time if there has been a flake. Now, I do this in full knowledge that such a woman has my mobile phone number handy, and thus she has the ability to get things going again - and that yes, if she wouldn't have enough interest to call me back, then nothing would have come from it anyway. And when she does call back asking why you didn't call her, you can respond that you didn't think about it, which of course gets her inner hamster going.
 

EyeBRollin

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But yes, I am now at the point where I do not even try to ask a woman out a second time if there has been a flake. Now, I do this in full knowledge that such a woman has my mobile phone number handy, and thus she has the ability to get things going again - and that yes, if she wouldn't have enough interest to call me back, then nothing would have come from it anyway. And when she does call back asking why you didn't call her, you can respond that you didn't think about it, which of course gets her inner hamster going.
As you should. Flakes are unacceptable. Flakes are a deal breaker. If you flake, you're out.

If you had sex with this woman, demote her to a booty call. If you haven't had sex with this woman, do yourself a favor and NEXT her.
 

bigneil

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Flake before sex = low interest.
Flake after you gain the upper hand = (often) high interest.

You guys are giving them way too much power insisting on hard and fast rules like this. The op even refers to "she flaked so I won't ask her out a second time". Indeed, they should not flake the first time you ask them out. Expecting that they will never flake over a LTR is unrealistic (and apparently in many cases something certain members have yet to experience).
 

bigneil

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Note that ALL romance novels must feature an OBSTACLE. This defeats the "if she delays your linear path to marriage once, ever, it's over" theory often pushed by those who are used to arranged marriages.

"So, you want to write a romance novel? Before you do, be sure to understand the "obstacle" in your love story. A romance novel focuses on the romantic relationship between the hero and heroine as they reach their happily ever after (HEA). The journey toward getting there however is not easy as these two characters must overcome one or more obstacles to love.

The obstacles that stand in the way of a romance make a character resistant to love. Obstacles are both internal and external conflicts that keep the hero and heroine emotionally apart until the very end of your story. Internal conflicts include emotional issues or fears, such as wounds from the past or fear of getting hurt. External conflicts involve external circumstances. Perhaps the heroine is engaged to another or the hero is taking over the heroine’s company. Often these issues/obstacles are right out in the open; other times, they involve a painful secret.

Conflicts need to be emotionally compelling. For example, how can the heroine possibly be falling in love with the hero when he is responsible for the death of her father? It is up to you, the writer, to explore this relationship and discover how she overcomes such an emotional hurdle. Nothing can bring back the heroine’s father, making this an insurmountable obstacle. Only through the growing relationship -- and the power of love -- can the heroine overcome the pain of her past to have a future with the hero."

http://www.shewrites.com/profiles/blogs/definiing-the-obstacle-in-a-romance-novel
 

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El Payaso

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I am not sure why you are laughing; it sounds like your friend has been granted access that has been denied to you. BTW, I've had women like this, but not since I have hit age 15.

But yes, I am now at the point where I do not even try to ask a woman out a second time if there has been a flake. Now, I do this in full knowledge that such a woman has my mobile phone number handy, and thus she has the ability to get things going again - and that yes, if she wouldn't have enough interest to call me back, then nothing would have come from it anyway. And when she does call back asking why you didn't call her, you can respond that you didn't think about it, which of course gets her inner hamster going.
I laughed because I found the situation funny. I also found another "access" that same night she flaked so I didn't lose out on anything other than spending a night with an uninterested girl.
 

bigneil

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Interested women do not flake. What about this is so hard for you to understand?

How many times have you flaked on your "10"?
I flaked for 2 straight weeks when I had the flu.

I'm sorry you can't tell the difference between a first date and a long term relationship.

If you are saying women over the course of an entire long term relationship never throw one curve at a man (and/or vice versa) you will confirm what I suspect: you have never had a 3+ relationship with a woman. Every 3 month relationship has a hiccup.

Note that she flaked after 2 months also, and then had 7 orgasms on our next date. She lives with another man. That can impact things. Again, try dating sometime.

Also, women who already had sex for 3 months are by default interested. You don't get to undo that, as much as you would love to. Sorry, but I can't unf*ck her. Try again.
 

bigneil

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But to summarize:
  • She's only a "10" - not really that hot.
  • I must have been paying for it.
  • She is NOT interested obviously!
So Suave is supposed to be a forum where people help you score, but for me, it's a place where lesser members try to get a leg up on me through their disbelief and burning the candle at both ends. Try again girls.
 

devilkingx2

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Flake before sex = low interest.
Flake after you gain the upper hand = (often) high interest.

You guys are giving them way too much power insisting on hard and fast rules like this. The op even refers to "she flaked so I won't ask her out a second time". Indeed, they should not flake the first time you ask them out. Expecting that they will never flake over a LTR is unrealistic (and apparently in many cases something certain members have yet to experience).
it depends on the circumstances of the flake

obviously if she's already your serious gf and you're exclusive and in love or whatever and she misses one date it's not the end of the world.

but most people are talking about flakes towards the beginning of the relationship when she's still a plate/friend with benefits/barely started dating.

when you're into the relationship the question of whether or not she's making excuses or if she's legit busy/can't make it comes up
 

bigneil

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devilking gets it, thanks.

Note that my girl came back 3 days ago (but I hadn't checked my messages). So, for all of the naysayers who desperately hoped my days of scoring with an HB9.9 would be limited to a mere 90 days (shamelessly under the guise of being here to help facilitate men succeeding, and for your own personal gain as DJ-wannabees): I told you so.

Gentlemen, always observe women over the past month average, never over minute-to-minute nuances.
 
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