When a woman is interested, she'll do ANYTHING to make things happen

[bigneil]

I agree with most of this. The point I agree with the most is remaining idle. I never burn bridges, but I also REFUSE to initiate contact after a chick flakes. If she comes back around, chances are I will be very withdrawn and busy and she will have to put forth major effort to isolate me to a "date". Some will do that, some wont. They have to see the high value in you after the flake or it will never happen. And you have to be wishy washy with them after the flake as well.

The part I disagree with is this: If you fvck her the way she wants to be fvcked, treat her well when you are out, you are the prize, she is chasing......there will be no others in the picture. Physically or emotionally.

When I find out (and I am good at finding out) there is someone else in the picture, they are immediately put on the bench and demoted even to below plate status. I just dont compete well with others and dont have the time to do so.

But before 60 days, if you haven't heard from her, just drop a line after a couple weeks. I've had 3 year relationships that almost didn't start because around day 50 (after sex) I thought "she definitely should have done XYZ by now". But I dropped a line on day 60 and she said "Let's get together tonite!" and the rest was history.

With my current favorite girl, here was the pattern for the first 4 dates:

0) Met, then lots of texting, then ignored text, then another ignored text, then I asked her out and she said yes. Then tons of planning texts (hair, outfit, etc).
1) Date, then texting, then 5 day absence, then ignored text, then another ignored text, then I asked her out and she said yes. Then "Oh, how you excite me so!"
2) Date, then 6 day absence, then she initiated "I miss you".
3) Date, then 13 day absence, then she initiated, then didn't reply, then didn't reply, then I asked her out and she was gushing with romance. 60+ planning texts and photos from her.
4) Date, then 7 days of love letters and planning photos for next date. Then vacation. Then she initiated "Thinking of you". Then sick for 10 days (confirmed). Now hasn't replied to text...

See the pattern? Every time I had to wait and/or triple text to get another date, but every date was incredible.

 

[Glassguy]

But before 60 days, if you haven't heard from her, just drop a line after a couple weeks. I've had 3 year relationships that almost didn't start because around day 50 (after sex) I thought "she definitely should have done XYZ by now". But I dropped a line on day 60 and she said "Let's get together tonite!" and the rest was history.

With my current favorite girl, here was the pattern for the first 4 dates:

0) Met, then lots of texting, then ignored text, then another ignored text, then I asked her out and she said yes. Then tons of planning texts (hair, outfit, etc).
1) Date, then texting, then 5 day absence, then ignored text, then another ignored text, then I asked her out and she said yes. Then "Oh, how you excite me so!"
2) Date, then 6 day absence, then she initiated "I miss you".
3) Date, then 13 day absence, then she initiated, then didn't reply, then didn't reply, then I asked her out and she was gushing with romance. 60+ planning texts and photos from her.
4) Date, then 7 days of love letters and planning photos for next date. Then vacation. Then sick for 10 days (confirmed). Now hasn't replied to text...

See the pattern? Every time I had to wait and/or triple text to get another date, but every date was incredible.

Just curious...how old are you?

They flake, I dont respond.
I ask them a question and they dont eventually get back to me and just ignore my text, I dont respond.
Oh....I dont text a lot either. I save my sh!t for dates.

 

[sazc]

You have some women who will interpret lack of pursuit (the man contacting/asking out/initiating) as lack of interest in her. So it is possible that a self respecting woman may assume you don't like her if she has to chase after you.

@Who Dares Win @BeExcellent is actually correct in what she says. I tend to signal my interest in a male and then back off. I dont know what social, familial or professional obligations they have. I would feel like a moron and as if I was signaling that I was needy if I started texting, contacting, etc and they were busy. A man's obligations can be demanding, the last thing they need is a female adding to their stress. I signal once and back off out of respect for the male.

I'm a professional female and tend to date professional men. That may be/make the difference.

 

[bigneil]

Just curious...how old are you?

They flake, I dont respond.
I ask them a question and they dont eventually get back to me and just ignore my text, I dont respond.
Oh....I dont text a lot either. I save my sh!t for dates.

In this case, I'm 46. My last 6 girls were ages 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 and 26 (3 of whom I met at a strip club).

Where do you see the word flake? A woman not replying to a text or two is (obviously) not a flake, as the above data shows. A flake is when she cancels within 1 hour of the date. Rescheduling due to illness 24 hours prior is different than a flake. I've done this twice in the past month. Especially with everyone being very sick this time of year. Assuming the woman doesn't like you is a bad idea.

When I want to have a date with a woman, I study the patterns of women who I've had dates with. I don't declare a bunch of rules that protect my ego. If you end up having sex and you didn't grovel, you did what you wanted. The end game is having sex, not having rules.

 

[Who Dares Win]

@Who Dares Win @BeExcellent is actually correct in what she says. I tend to signal my interest in a male and then back off. I dont know what social, familial or professional obligations they have. I would feel like a moron and as if I was signaling that I was needy if I started texting, contacting, etc and they were busy. A man's obligations can be demanding, the last thing they need is a female adding to their stress. I signal once and back off out of respect for the male.

I'm a professional female and tend to date professional men. That may be/make the difference.

We're talking about a woman not returning call, being hot and cold, flaking or cancelling with no reschedule offer.

I understand you're a woman so you live by a total different set of rules and experience, yet when you're in a 99% males forum talking about such things, it should be simply enough to get the message.

If a guy invites you for a drink and you take a day to reply, cancel 20 min before the agreed time or deal with him with an apathetic attitude, you aint that likely to bang him...hope this makes it clear?

When you say that you signal interest then back off is an other thing which we are not talking about here and no western man expect you to do nowadays.

So I confirm what I said, any confusione, hassle, obstacle or anything that would piss off the guy at a gut level is a red flag wheter someone gives blue pill advice to keep pursuing or not.

Finally a woman which suggest to keep pursuing a woman that doesnt give feedbacks has to me the same weight of a woman saying that she likes nice guys who respect her and treat her good.

 

[BeExcellent]

Disagree in the bolded part, as I said a woman who gives a man any reason to stop pursuing her is a woman whos interest is so low that she doesnt even care if he chase her or not and doesnt really care if he stop pursuing or not.

Your suggestion is wrong, if a woman gives enough reason to a man to drop her its because she is either low interest or playing games (a sign of low interest or screwed up head).

To suggest to "keep pursuing" otherwise she will read as low interest is a blue pill advice that I expect from my grandma or some random middle aged afc married to a woman running the house.

Agree on the part about men taking initiative, thats what we are supposed to do but I confirm what I said above.

An interested girl wont do anything to give the impression of being uninterested, confuse the man or take the risk of him running away...if he stop pursuing its because he understood she confused him, pissed him off or played frustrating mind games.

But again you're a woman, whoever takes fishing advice from a fish instead of a fisher totally deserves what is coming to him.

Insecure women chase men. So do crazy women & women who are ambivalent (flakes are in this group). In my mind none of these are (+) attributes, but I don't date them so whatever floats your boat.

Some men prefer their woman insecure to one degree or another. It inflates a guy's ego but also typically comes with various drama borne out of insecurity (clingyness, jealousy, emotional instability etc.)

Self-confident women do not chase men. However they ALWAYS respond to him. They respond when the man initiates.

High interest women DO. NOT. FLAKE. They are reliable and encourage a man they like by respecting him and responding to him.

Why y'all assume I'm trying to excuse flaky behavior is beyond me. Flaking is 100% low interest behavior. So is waffling.

A woman who really likes you (unless she is unstable) will never blow up your phone. Have you guys considered that women contacting/chasing you may not really like you, but they reach out to keep you on the hook as an option? Female playbook 101.

I'm actually trying to help gents.

There are threads here about pursuit, how to pursue properly, exactly because it is nuanced and some men miss out on great women (the small % that exist) because in expecting the most desirable women to chase, initiate, blow up your phone etc., (they won't) you have communicated YOUR lack of interest in a non-verbal way so she moves along. She has other options & doesn't waste her time.

My point is the best women have options all the time. Be a mystery between dates, be scarce, be valuable. But initiate. Just initiate. Her response will tell you everything you need to know.

What do guys expect when they unknowingly set their parameters to attract floozies? Floozies & crazies chase men!! Is it any wonder so many run into floozies & crazies here?

Then guys lament there are no good women...um no...your parameters & expectations ran the good ones off already without you realizing it.

 

[sazc]

I understand you're a woman so you live by a total different set of rules and experience

I dont, actually. I know you will refuse to accept this but our rules and experiences align FAR more than you realize. I dont put up with any of the same petty BS that you guys talk about. I'll next without hesitation. I got over my fear of scarcity about 5 years ago. I'd rather find quality or be single.

 

[TheGambino]

I dont, actually. I know you will refuse to accept this but our rules and experiences align FAR more than you realize. I dont put up with any of the same petty BS that you guys talk about. I'll next without hesitation. I got over my fear of scarcity about 5 years ago. I'd rather find quality or be single.

Im your fantasy

 

[sazc]

Im your fantasy

Finally! I have found him!!! <3

 

[Who Dares Win]

Insecure women chase men. So do crazy women & women who are ambivalent (flakes are in this group). In my mind none of these are (+) attributes, but I don't date them so whatever floats your boat.

Some men prefer their woman insecure to one degree or another. It inflates a guy's ego but also typically comes with various drama borne out of insecurity (clingyness, jealousy, emotional instability etc.)

Self-confident women do not chase men. However they ALWAYS respond to him. They respond when the man initiates.

High interest women DO. NOT. FLAKE. They are reliable and encourage a man they like by respecting him and responding to him.

Why y'all assume I'm trying to excuse flaky behavior is beyond me. Flaking is 100% low interest behavior. So is waffling.

A woman who really likes you (unless she is unstable) will never blow up your phone. Have you guys considered that women contacting/chasing you may not really like you, but they reach out to keep you on the hook as an option? Female playbook 101.

I'm actually trying to help gents.

There are threads here about pursuit, how to pursue properly, exactly because it is nuanced and some men miss out on great women (the small % that exist) because in expecting the most desirable women to chase, initiate, blow up your phone etc., (they won't) you have communicated YOUR lack of interest in a non-verbal way so she moves along. She has other options & doesn't waste her time.

My point is the best women have options all the time. Be a mystery between dates, be scarce, be valuable. But initiate. Just initiate. Her response will tell you everything you need to know.

What do guys expect when they unknowingly set their parameters to attract floozies? Floozies & crazies chase men!! Is it any wonder so many run into floozies & crazies here?

Then guys lament there are no good women...um no...your parameters & expectations ran the good ones off already without you realizing it.

I already explained you twice in two pages (to you and the other woman) what we're talking about yet what you come up with is a poem based on something else.

We are not talking about women chasing men, you got it all wrong from line 1.

We are talking about the feedbacks interested women give compared to the ones uninterested women do.

Nobody mentioned "chasing" men unless picking up the phone when called, not flaking or offering a reschedule in case of a cancelled date means "chasing a man" to you...in which case would explain plenty of things.

 

[sazc]

@Who Dares Win I see what you mean. We seem to have deviated a bit from the op content with our discussion

 

[BeExcellent]

I already explained you twice in two pages (to you and the other woman) what we're talking about yet what you come up with is a poem based on something else.

We are not talking about women chasing men, you got it all wrong from line 1.

We are talking about the feedbacks interested women give compared to the ones uninterested women do.

Nobody mentioned "chasing" men unless picking up the phone when called, not flaking or offering a reschedule in case of a cancelled date means "chasing a man" to you...in which case would explain plenty of things.

We agree @Who Dares Win about what high interest looks like. A high interest woman will encourage, will not flake & will be responsive.

What she may NOT do, depending on her own variables is initiate contact. She may expect that is the male role. She may be too feminine to assume the male role for purpose of contacting.

But you see men here saying "wait for her to contact you (the guy)". "Make her chase you", etc.

Great relationships exhibit a pattern that looks like this:

1. Male: Approach
Female: Be receptive
2. Male: Get Contact Info
Female: Give Contact Info
3. Male: Initiate Contact Using Contact Info
Female: Receive Contact & Be Receptive
4. Male: Ask for Date or Meet Up
Female: Accept
5.Male: Show up at Date or Meet Up
Female: Show Up at Date or Meet Up
6. Male: Evaluate if wants to see Female again
Female: Evaluate if wants to see Male again
7. Male: Go back to step 3 and repeat. Keep repeating as long as result is positive. Otherwise, next.

It's not rocket science. Some men here don't understand what basic high interest looks like in the first place.

 

[bigneil]

When a woman is interested (subject to change without notice, and which may come and go and which usually will return) she will do anything for a man!

You guys are confusing initial interest level that leads to sex with long term relationship interest level which varies.

 

[BeExcellent]

@bigneil Your second paragraph in particular nails it.

 

[bigneil]

Also remember: if she has a boyfriend she hasn't told you about (who she very well may live with) that will make her behavior even more erratic. That has absolutely nothing to do with you, but members here will say you must have acted needy.

Finally, it's ok to care a little. We can't have it both ways. We can't seduce the most attractive women we meet, have relationships with them, have the best sex of our lives, and then not care when it ends. I take the good and the pain and use the pain to inspire improvement towards more good.

 

[icantgetlaid]

I want to make sure im making a distinction. It isn't about 'nexting' at first sign/first impression. It's about being efficient with your time/emotion/energy. If a girl has low interest, the low hanging fruit in this situation is, to work on yourself and approach more women. You can always re-attempt to ask the girl out on a date in the future anyway.

 

[blind_one]

There are threads here about pursuit, how to pursue properly, exactly because it is nuanced and some men miss out on great women (the small % that exist) because in expecting the most desirable women to chase, initiate, blow up your phone etc., (they won't) you have communicated YOUR lack of interest in a non-verbal way so she moves along. She has other options & doesn't waste her time.

My point is the best women have options all the time. Be a mystery between dates, be scarce, be valuable. But initiate. Just initiate. Her response will tell you everything you need to know.

I realized that some time ago and it works like a charm. I am the happy, friendly guy that loves life and wants to give his fruits to the world. Take the initiative and lead. If she cooperates, great ! If not .... well, do not be a wuss about it, have other things/options.

 

[devilkingx2]

Men on this forum (probably not from the US) justify past failures by claiming that there exists a woman with whom we should have a perfect, one-way, linear progression from meeting to marriage without any resistance whatsoever, without one cancelled date, without one flake, without one breakup, and with her offering complete commitment after sex happens the first time. Otherwise, she has low interest and you should next her..

it's generally agreed upon that anything other than a yes or a counteroffer is a no and a flake, but that doesn't mean it's over some guys keep trying, some guys go ghost, some guys delete her number and go NC, we all have different games.

however it's safe to say that she doesn't do that to guys she actually likes, but a lack of interest and a lack of high interest aren't the same thing. you can bang a girl that doesn't have high interest or turn medium interest high, but it's a lot more work and it's riskier than just cutting your losses and finding a girl who doesn't find taking a nap more important than hanging out with you

 

[devilkingx2]

everytime a woman does anything you just gotta ask yourself if you can see a guy doing that to a girl, or you doing that to a girl.

whenever a girl flakes on me i remember a time when i skipped two of my classes in high school to hang out with some girl(s) and realize that she's merely making excuses.

women aren't different from men in that regard, both will crawl through mud under barbed wire fences during a thunderstorm to get laid if they have to, but only if they want to.

 

[bigneil]

it's generally agreed upon that anything other than a yes or a counteroffer is a no and a flake...

however it's safe to say that she doesn't do that to guys she actually likes, but a lack of interest and a lack of high interest aren't the same thing.

After 4 months of dating? When they come down with the flu? "Sorry, but I'm certain I'll be better in the average recovery time of 22 days. See you then love!" You don't make plans more than 7 days in advance.

They don't play hard to get with guys they like?

"Lack of interest" is certain? What if she already had sex with this person 10 times? What if they flaked in between some of those times already? What if she said he was the greatest lover she ever had? What if she is involved with someone else? What if she is married?

Again, you're treating all women like first dates. You're describing the behavior of women in the first 2 weeks of dating. If you're talking about relationships of 3-6 months that do not involve commitments yet, the rules are not so simple.

Again, you are proving my point about your imaginary linear progression based on hard and fast interpretation of rules designed to soothe the pain of your past failures (misery wants company).

This makes me wonder: when was the last time you had a 3-6 month relationship?

My studies show that men on this forum underrate my women by about 33% on average. And they exaggerate anything bad that happens by 333%. That's their only chance of competing with me.