When to back off the Alpha a little with a serious GF

[Poon King]

I just don't have the interest tonight. Not to mention, you are quite the bully and I dont feel like you actually care to listen, you usually just want to bullly and argue. What's the point?

Maybe some other night

MEN: I ask her a simple non-threatening question which is "Why are you on SoSuave?"

She runs away from it. What is the big secret? Just something to keep in mind when she gives "advice".

 

[sazc]

MEN: I ask her a simple non-threatening question which is "Why are you on SoSuave?"

She runs away from it. What is the big secret? Just something to keep in mind when she gives "advice".

Dude, chill! I have A life, Christmas is in a few days, I I am out right now, and I can't sit in front of my keyboard. I will take a look at what you wrote as soon as I have the time and I will try to address your questions.
Maybe you should try getting out every once in a while too?

 

[Firestar786]

MEN: I ask her a simple non-threatening question which is "Why are you on SoSuave?"

She runs away from it. What is the big secret? Just something to keep in mind when she gives "advice".

She's clearly hormonal and attention seeking, given her last message.

 

[sazc]

MEN: I ask her a simple non-threatening question which is "Why are you on SoSuave?"

She runs away from it. What is the big secret? Just something to keep in mind when she gives "advice".

Do you realize that you sound like an insecure female waving her hands and saying " pay attention to me pay attention to me. "
At this moment I only have voice textin one hand so you are going to have to put on your big boy pants and wait until I get home so I can sit down at my keyboardread what you wrote and respond correctly

 

[sazc]

She's clearly hormonal and attention seeking, given her last message.

Ridiculous. When all else fails simply "name call" because that solves it all. are you eight years old or something?

 

[sazc]

She's clearly hormonal and attention seeking, given her last message.

Now that I think about it this is a really good point, I don't want to be hijacking someone else's thread. That's not cool. I'm gonna pM you @Poon King . You can ask me all the questions you want there if you really want to talk about it

 

[Poon King]

Do you realize that you sound like an insecure female waving her hands and saying " pay attention to me pay attention to me. "
At this moment I only have voice textin one hand so you are going to have to put on your big boy pants and wait until I get home so I can sit down at my keyboardread what you wrote and respond correctly

LOL.

And you still haven't answered my simple question of "Why are you on SoSuave?"

You throw one distraction and smoke screen after another to throw me off the sent of fish. I'm a bloodhound babe. You won't trick me or throw me off the trail.

This is why I dominate my relationships with women. AND this is why a lot of men on this site listen to me.

Now that I think about it this is a really good point, I don't want to be hijacking someone else's thread. That's not cool. I'm gonna pM you @Poon King . You can ask me all the questions you want there if you really want to talk about it

NO.

You should have nothing to hide from other men reading this thread.

 

[sazc]

LOL.

And you still haven't answered my simple question of "Why are you on SoSuave?"

You throw one distraction and smoke screen after another to throw me off the sent of fish. I'm a bloodhound babe. You won't trick me or throw me off the trail.

This is why I dominate my relationships with women. AND this is why a lot of men on this site listen to me.



NO.

You should have nothing to hide from other men reading this thread.

I have nothing to hide from anyone. I replied to your PM reply. I feel like I have to keep qualifying myself to you all, one man at a time. If I could fit it in my status, I would.
I'm on your sides people. I get it. Just because my viewpoint doesn't directly align with what MGTOW, red pill or DJ says, doesn't mean I'm trying to get you to eat an apple (or pomegranate, depending on what you believe) It just means I have a slightly different viewpoint. sheesh

 

[Poon King]

I have nothing to hide from anyone. I replied to your PM reply. I feel like I have to keep qualifying myself to you all, one man at a time. If I could fit it in my status, I would.
I'm on your sides people. I get it. Just because my viewpoint doesn't directly align with what MGTOW, red pill or DJ says, doesn't mean I'm trying to get you to eat an apple (or pomegranate, depending on what you believe) It just means I have a slightly different viewpoint. sheesh

Nothing to hide?

I asked you a simple question that can be answered with one word. Rather than answering, you go into a meltdown.

Do you not see how this plays right into the claims that women are often dishonest and manipulative?

 

[C00lAF]

From my personal experince and trial and error from advices around here these two @Poon King @deesade rarley if ever go wrong...they basicly give some of the most solid advice around this site

 

[C00lAF]

A spicy thread,just how i like it <3

 

[sazc]

Nothing to hide?

I asked you a simple question that can be answered with one word. Rather than answering, you go into a meltdown.

Do you not see how this plays right into the claims that women are often dishonest and manipulative?

Like I said in the PM, I didn't read thru every post you put up, to understand that you boiled it down to a single question. I had too many notifications and was oterhwsie occupied with my man, Christmas and errands.

You can label it as a meltdown if you want. That's nice, dramatic, and feeds into the frame you want people to buy about females. And I am oh so positive someone will come along and be happy to tailgate and back you up.

I think a lot of men on this site wonder if women are all manipulative and dishonest, and I think a lot of men on this site believe that all women are manipulative and dishonest, and I think that there are an equal number of men that know that not all women are manipulative and dishonest.

As I mentioned in the PM, all of it really depends on your background and what has occurred in your life. People are going to read into internet postings what they want to see, me included. that doesn't make their perception correct.

And, please, before some beta fvck comes along and calls me an attention seeker, I'm done with the commentary. Carry on gentlemen!

 

[Roober]

Doesn't sound like there's too much going wrong here. Good work

Here's the key that I've found...

-If you're being too needy, she probably won't tell you. She'll just have 'less time to see you' in an attempt to get some breathing space. That's when you back off a bit.
-If you're being too distant, she will probably tell you verbally. That's when you make an effort temporarily, maybe surprise her next time you see her.

For me, maintaining a relationship with a woman isn't always about power plays; being 'too alpha' or 'too beta'. Women do crave a powerful man, but they also crave fun and spontaneity. If maintain these three things until the end of time, and you won't have a problem.

You don't need to 'back off the alpha'. Just show her that you value her in an alpha way. Then carry on as normal. Rinse, recycle, repeat.

And this was my problem... I didn't back off... But how do I back off when she has less time for me (time together), but still calls several times a day? It is like a lose-lose...

 

[The Duke]

Hey Poon, I asked you a while back if you have ever been married. I'm still waiting for my answer.

 

[Poon King]

Like I said in the PM, I didn't read thru every post you put up, to understand that you boiled it down to a single question. I had too many notifications and was oterhwsie occupied with my man, Christmas and errands.

You can label it as a meltdown if you want. That's nice, dramatic, and feeds into the frame you want people to buy about females. And I am oh so positive someone will come along and be happy to tailgate and back you up.

I think a lot of men on this site wonder if women are all manipulative and dishonest, and I think a lot of men on this site believe that all women are manipulative and dishonest, and I think that there are an equal number of men that know that not all women are manipulative and dishonest.

As I mentioned in the PM, all of it really depends on your background and what has occurred in your life. People are going to read into internet postings what they want to see, me included. that doesn't make their perception correct.

And, please, before some beta fvck comes along and calls me an attention seeker, I'm done with the commentary. Carry on gentlemen!

MEN: Do you see what took place in this thread?

My discussion with sazc started when I challenged her claims about how romantic relationships work. Instead of saying "you are right Poon King" she told me I was wrong. When I asked her to explain HOW I'm wrong she deflected and claimed she didn't want to "get into it" and she didn't have TIME to argue. Then she proceeds to argue about something completely different along with personal attacks and shaming.

So its not that she had no "time" to argue. She just didn't want to argue about a topic she would be proven wrong on.

When dealing with women always read between the lines. They will throw up smoke screens to take you off the trail of discovering the TRUTH.

Sazc.. you're as skilled as most women I've met. But I'm better.

Hey Poon, I asked you a while back if you have ever been married. I'm still waiting for my answer.

Never been married.

 

[The Duke]

Every body just needs more dirty hot sechs! I think I'll go play on my sechs swing, hopefully Deesade will spare me his left overs!

 

[marmel75]

Behaviour that's gets you in a long term relationship isn't the same behaviour that will keep you in a long term relationship

 

[Trump]

She loves me and we have great sex etc but she says I am "different" from other guys in that I appear more remote and distant that her ex boyfriends who were forever texting her, seeking where they stand etc. I think she is a little fazed by my approach. However, I am starting to think I should back off the alpha just a little. She knows I am a good catch (and so is she to be honest). We are both professionals, own property, cars etc and dress well, slim attractive etc.

I think you guys know what I am trying to say. What do you think? Of course not being wet and soppy is the important thing and i never will. But also, not to be too available and overly generous. i don't want to wreck this by overplaying the alpha side.

Bro I don't know what you are a 'professional' in, but you are sounding uneducated.

You meet a woman, go on a few dates, she says she loves you and you have great sex with her. She spits out some words and now you are wondering whether you should change your behaviour? Why would change anything that led her to love you and have sex with you?

It sounds like she wants control like all women do. If you change your behaviour to adjust to her needs, she will think 'wow, I just said some words and he bought what I was selling, I wonder how much I can manipulate him now to fit my needs.'

Guys, keep on doing the same thing that led a woman to be attracted to you and have sex with you in the first place. Once you start changing FOR HER, she will say 'what a sweet guy' but is secretly laughing with her friends. You should change for yourself, she comes along for the ride.

 

[marmel75]

Here's my 2 cents. I'm with @sazc on this one. The GF asking why she is having to do the majority of the initiating is not a red flag. It's her way of evaluating whether or not OP is worth HER time.

In my relationship I never text "good morning" and all that. I expect a man to initiate and demonstrate interest through action. My job is to respond. When a woman pre-empts the man by initiating she looses the ability to discern his interest by observing his actions because she is doing the man's job (initiate).

When this happens you eventually get these type questions because the woman starts to wonder if the man has any investment in her because she has removed her only ability to watch what the guy does. So you get this kind of question, which will then (if she isn't reassured) be followed by withdrawal so she can start observing the man's behavior.

I don't have this problem. I never initiate; I always respond.

As far as OP goes, it really comes down to what it is the OP wants. If he just wants serial dating and plate spinning then the advice from the men above applies.

If however the OP would rather have an LTR and develop depth on a deeper level, then at some point he's going to have to invest emotionally in someone.

Some of the advice in this thread is geared toward protecting OP from emotional attachment. In LTR game this is bad advice because it actually deprives OP of the depth required to develop something meaningful, and there are older women with options on the market. I am such a woman & so is @sazc.

My advice to OP is continue to be warm & loving when you are together and my suggestion is to assume more the man's role of leadership in the relationship (aka initiate contact.) This will accomplish 2 things. It will give the GF the reassurance she is seeking through action...and it will also allow OP to frame the contact and drive it.

I'm NOT saying OP should text more because she says so...

rather I'm suggesting this is an opportunity to assume a more masculine leadership role and at the same time reassure her and build her respect for you.

But that is only if OP values this woman and wants a LTR. If he wants various plates then the advice already given by the men here is the correct advice.

Good women don't stick around if they feel stonewalled any more than good men do.

What do you want OP?

I just don't agree with this at all...in my experience interested women act interested especially in the beginning...

 

[sazc]

I just don't agree with this at all...in my experience interested women act interested especially in the beginning...

When I read the initial post, it seemed to me like the people involved had been seeing each other for at least a few months and possibly considered themselves heading towards a relationship. @Carpathian how long has it been that you have been dating?