Gents, I'm bringing this up again for some new insight. I was speaking to a friend about this and, well, I think my ex may be NPD. An email i sent to my friend:
OK
As far as Petra goes, I think it’s very possible she’s narcissistic. She
was seeing someone else when we met. As soon as things began getting heavy
with us, she dumped him. This dude lived 90 miles away so I’m guessing she
was somewhat serious with him to drive all the way out there. This is in
line with what I’ve read about NPD----the hopping from one relationship to
the next. And like what I read, she showered me with gifts all the time,
took me out to dinner, wouldn’t let me pay, cleaned my apartment, ironed my
shirts, cooked for me, she liked to fvck, etc, etc. , I woke every morning
to an e-mail from her saying some kind of dopey witticism. She said my MS
was nothing but a trial that would make us stronger. She also said it was
no big deal that I had to pop pills in order to have sex.
You may say that these are merely the behaviors exhibited by anyone in the
early stages of a relationship. I thought, at the time, that I hit the
jackpot.
Things began to change once we got more serious and I moved in. I began to
notice that she would withdraw whenever I disagreed with her. Not like
My ex wife but she would take on this reserved air. She became more and more
withdrawn as the days went on. I’m about 90% certain that she fvcked some
dude when she went to California for work. And I’m fairly sure that she was
banging some other guy behind my back. Then she got pregnant and I was
gone. She became almost non-present in the three weeks leading up to this.
Even though we lived together, I never saw her. Her two main reasons for
breaking up with me were that the level of intimacy was forced because I
had to take pills and that my MS was too unpredictable to have a normal
life. Notice that these two items were no big deal in the beginning of the
relationship. I mean, it was inexplicable but makes sense looking back
through the narcissistic lens. At least according to what I’ve been reading.
So where does that leave me and how I am with her now? Don’t know. As I
once said, I’m treading very lightly, like treading on the rotten
floorboards in an abandoned house. Perhaps she learned her lesson and wants
to tread slowly as well, like you said, friends first. Perhaps once NPD
always NPD. I never felt about anyone like I did about her. It was intense,
all consuming. Healthy? I don’t know. Corny as it sounds, it feels like a
piece of me has been missing ever since that happened. Perhaps I’m only
setting myself up for another heartbreaker.
I'll add to my email that she began redecorating her last husbands house with pictures of her and her new family-----within 3 weeks of getting married. Another red flag. I said he'd be singing the blues in 3 years. I was right. They're going through a divorce.
Any thought, advice or admonishments will be gratefully accepted
Thanks
