Once Bitten
Don Juan
This may be an oversimplification, but I still believe that a man and woman who truly hit it off have found someone who is a similar band of "crazy".
Yeh bro to be honest i am in good shape. So its definately not my shape. But my teeth do need work. I lost my retainer when i was younger so my upper row of teeth are mildy messed up. But all but 3 of the 4 girls got physical with me. Two had sex and one initiated the make out. So it might be looks but then why would they get physical. It might be because i am a black guy idk. I still dont understand how a woman can be attracted enough to a guy to get physical with him on the first date and then go cold after they leave. Its like wtf im still the same guy you had sex why aint you texting back!
Could it be that you are carrying extra weight or something real simple that simply dampens any desire they may have?
Is there something about the way you are behaving to the ones that don't get the tingles that you can pinpoint? I know ALL females won't get them. I'm just wondering if you figured out if there was a quality or something that could be measured that causes this in the others or some other personality trait they liked.
Was he built as per her sexual spec, or she has a certain "range" of a guy that she likes.
Well, that's not exactly true. Women crave an alpha who has strong DNA and good resources. If women are not attractive enough to secure commitment from a man like this, then they will take the beta provisioning while screwing an alpha on the side. (Sometimes. Believe it or not, many women are faithful even to betas due to social conditioning.)Women crave alpha DNA, and beta provisioning.
My intention is not to be rude when I say that this is precisely why men should never take dating advice from women. For some reason women do not have insight into their own behavior, or if they do they never share it with men.Nope. Sex appeal is visceral. It has nothing whatsoever to do with resources. It has to do with the way a man moves, the way he speaks, how he kisses, his decisiveness in small things, the way he carries himself and how he interacts with a woman. It is highly individual whether one person has sex appeal in the opinion of a potential lover. It has ZERO to do with resources. I can tell whether I have any interest in a sexual encounter with a man pretty instantaneously (and the answer is almost always Meh, nope). From there the interest is tempered by other criteria that can only be gauged by getting to know someone. This gets back to why I don't have sex early on - I haven't had opportunity to get to know the man, and if he wants sex before I feel I know him well enough - which takes time - then logic would indicate that sex is all he is after, and therefore it is in my best interest NOT to engage such a man (who only wants sex) physically. Even if he has sex appeal. I have control over myself and do not get swept away emotionally in beginning encounters. This comes from being a more rather than less rational person. It also comes from internal confidence and security in who I am. From internal validation. Few women are truly internally validated.
The quote about "overall resource package" is that poster's projection of his belief system onto all women. He grossly underestimates women in holding this view, which hands women a tremendous advantage of which he may not be aware. The person who is underestimated in any interaction always holds greater power if they recognize it and utilize it.
Back to last week as an example. Of the two men who approached me and the redhead with whom I was conversing, neither held any of my interest sexually but they were both intelligent and engaging conversationalists. This despite the fact that one gentleman expressed such interest in me, is a millionaire, is age appropriate, is divorced, lives on the waterfront in Seattle, owns his own business, loves sports, is in shape, is tall, is nice looking from an physical standpoint etc. So here is a man with resources out the wazoo compared to the general male population, and he also had self respect and was not a pandering sort of man in any way. He was his own man, made his own decisions, leads his own life, etc. Just not someone I found sexually appealing. Some other woman would find him quite appealing I am sure. I didn't. I wasn't repulsed either, he was engaging, self assured and pleasant. But his "overall resource package" should have had me all excited according to the quote above. Not so.
It all comes back to choice. An "independent" woman has constructed her life in such a way to be able to choose according to wants and desires instead of financial/attention needs because her needs are already met. She will gravitate to men in similar circumstances and will have her own preferences as to what is most important. Mine is sex appeal, as I have noted but that sex appeal needs to be in the context of a man of at least my caliber in other aspects of his life. The number one thing for my best friend was intelligence. She is married to someone successful who holds advanced degrees and business interests in a couple of diverse fields (physics and psychology). She, like the doctor's wife in the previous post I made in this thread happily defers to her man. But she herself is an accomplished senior level executive, perfectly capable of handling her own affairs if she needs to. She CHOOSES to defer and is happy in the feminine role.
I already have enough stuff to control and deal with in life. I have no interest in exerting control over a man. That is the ploy of a woman who needs the man - such that she seeks to make him depend on her by exertion of control. Control freaks always seek control precisely because they feel out of control in their own lives.
I don't have that need. Therefore I expect a man to have his own affairs well in hand and be at my same level in life or above (if he is someone I can learn from - fantastic!) I have zero interest in controlling a man's affairs. That way I can simply be free to enjoy the company of a man I find worthwhile to spend time with. And the men whom I associate with greatly appreciate this attitude. I have been told it is rare I can't tell you how many times.
This is a very different mid set than most women have. That was the entire intent of this post from what I can gather. How an "independent" woman thinks (because yes she most definitely does think) and what motivates her because it is different than most other women. It is also worth recognizing because women like this are the sort that men most enjoy.
Cheers.
The assumptions your post makes are exactly why @Howiestern started this thread.Well, that's not exactly true. Women crave an alpha who has strong DNA and good resources. If women are not attractive enough to secure commitment from a man like this, then they will take the beta provisioning while screwing an alpha on the side. (Sometimes. Believe it or not, many women are faithful even to betas due to social conditioning.)
I do agree that not being a provider is important though. I'd much rather be the guy that women will sleep with but have no intention of marrying than the guy they'll marry but are never really attracted to.
lol I hope that was a joke. You actually thought there are alphas on this site?I was hoping with the amount of strong/alpha/independent types we have on here that I would get some more responses. Maybe some aren't as tough as they sound? It certainly takes a pretty solid guy to be with these types of females.
Define how a man is "accomplished" and explain precisely how a man's financial resources and his accomplishments are not linked. For instance, a man with a negative net worth who lives in a trailer park and needs food stamps can be accomplished enough in some way to be attractive to you?????I personally could care less about a man's resources in a financial sense because I am my own provider.
Therefore I'm interested in a man I can exchange ideas with, enjoy and learn from. Someone capable of leading me should a relationship develop. Because of where I am in life that is going to be a man who is at least as accomplished as me if not more so.
I appreciate a man for who he is and how he thinks and what he has accomplished and I have great respect and admiration for that. I recognize and value a man's character. I know what it takes to become a success and I value those qualities in others. That is a very different perspective than an attitude of what he can do or provide for me.
Cuban girl?That's Not always true. sometimes it depends on how she was raised, which can heavily influence the type of person she becomes.
There's girls that are not even close to my looks but are very picky with bitchy personalities.
Things are not always black and white. almost all my relationships have been where they will cater to me. I think it has to do with my personality as well.
They are your words whether you wish to have them emphasized or not. You are just dodging the question because you don't want to admit that a man's resources are important to you.My previous post was pretty clear so no need to rehash.
I will note the bolded portions are your emphasis, not mine.
Cheers
.....that's hott like a sexy-bad girl straight out of Bond movie! hahaI appreciate that @LARaiders85 & it's cool. I don't like it when threads get sidetracked about me personally.
Not because it bothers me but because I am an outlier in many ways and therefore not always a good representation of a woman or woman's behavior that many here expect to fit in a nice neat little box that fits a perception promulgated here. And that perception is accurate to a large degree but not to a 100% degree.
I don't think some poster on the Internet telling me how I think (when I am very well aware what I think and why) serves any purpose and it takes value away from this thread for example, which was created precisely to inquire about how outlier women are not in lockstep with the "all women do this or that" mantra which so many here try and apply to "all women"
The question exists (when @Howiestern started the thread exactly because some women honestly do not fit the broad brush behaviors preached here)...and those who don't fall in line with what the forum expects are actually the ladies most worth pursuing.
So some men here are trying to tell me, essentially, "No sweetie, really you think this...really you want that" because the fact that I don't follow the party line is perhaps uncomfortable to some.
As in, Egads!! A woman who doesn't need my (fill in the blank with whatever "resources" here) might actually evaluate me on the basis of character and other intrinsic characteristics...
And that idea could be understandably disconcerting for those men who know or suspect they have more work to do in the personal growth arena.
In other words men like to hide behind the notion that all women need resources because that gives a convenient excuse not to get out there & become better men...
And I'm rooting for better men (and women too for that matter) or I wouldn't be here.
I'm independent. Good profession, income, house, etc.Have you ever dated a woman that you considered highly independent? What was it like? Do you consider yourself independent? Do the independent females desire males with
strong personality types? I’m guessing less than 5% of the females I know fit into this category.