New girlfriend still communicates with married ex

Heweab24

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Please mind my command of the English language for it is a second language to me.

I'm a man aged 27 and there's this girl I'm seeing who is a few month younger than me. I can't really say we are officially dating because our relationship is secret. We live in the same building and the people in our social circles might not we are dating. We see each other when she's alone at her place or we sometimes meet up in the lobby when noone is seeing. This girl always tells me that she thinks I'm a player and think might have given me the edge in getting into her pants, which I've done twice so far. She once told me we are playing a dangerous game because she has a past of her own and also because her younger sister told her she likes me, that's why she wants us to keep this relationship a secret. She also probably is not comfortable with her work colleagues who stay in the same building knowing about us, and this is my assumption.

This girl has an ex boyfriend who from going through her phone today I found out they're still communicating. This ex of hers is a married man to make matters worse. On one of the texts between them she told him that after she had received his call another ex of hers called her as well then the guy said that he doesn't consider himself an ex. He went on to ask her if she does, of which she replied that he is part of her history and she can't erase him that easily.

I also found out that she usually deletes the messages after chatting with him. She was present when I was going through her phone and she later on asked me what I saw of which I replied, "not much." I didn't complain to her because it will make me look I'm the loser here and the guy is the winner. However, I just told her I think she is playing a dangerous game.

I really feel stupid right now even though I don't want to show it. Should I cut this girl loose or continue ****ing her? After this incident will she probably still **** me regarding that I never complained about it? And do you think she is still ****ing this guy??
 

Bible_Belt

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She's keeping you a secret so that no one tells her ex about you. She's worried that would kill her chances with him.

She's in love with the ex, not you. That doesn't mean you can't still fvck her, but don't expect it to be anything more than just sex.
 

Heweab24

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Thank you. I'd also like to add that she sometimes tells me she loves me and I've never said it back. I learn a lot from sosuave and I've really tried to maintain my game from day one with this girl. Is there anything more you can say about this woman because I'm confused.
 

Heweab24

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I was also told that this girl used to live with another man before me, like a year ago. They're no longer together now. This married guy once came to her place whilst we were having a drink up with friends and she started to give him cold shoulder, but on the phone she initiates the conversation with him...
 

Heweab24

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She's not your girlfriend
I wouldn't mind dating her officially and it's a subject I brought up once and never talked about it again. She sometimes asked me if I'm just using her for sex or something else, saying that it'd hurt her if I was playing her.
 

Heweab24

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So treat her like she's not your girlfriend. No need to go through her phone or tell her "she's playing a dangerous game". Have fun with her and fvck her at will. One more thing.... spin plates.
What if she asks where we stand?
 

dude99

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Thank you. I'd also like to add that she sometimes tells me she loves me and I've never said it back. I learn a lot from sosuave and I've really tried to maintain my game from day one with this girl. Is there anything more you can say about this woman because I'm confused.
Her telling you that she loves you is lip service and means nothing. Pay no attention to what she says. Pay attention to her actions.

Right now her actions:
Keeping your relationship a secrete.
Sneeking around lying to her co workers
Sleeping with the guy who her sister likes
Hiding her relationship with her ex from you......(is he actually an ex? Or are you the other guy???)

Too many red flags bud. Are you listening to your gut?
Soundslike you have a bad quality girl here. I would walk away if i were you.
 

Heweab24

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Her telling you that she loves you is lip service and means nothing. Pay no attention to what she says. Pay attention to her actions.

Right now her actions:
Keeping your relationship a secrete.
Sneeking around lying to her co workers
Sleeping with the guy who her sister likes
Hiding her relationship with her ex from you......(is he actually an ex? Or are you the other guy???)

Too many red flags bud. Are you listening to your gut?
Soundslike you have a bad quality girl here. I would walk away if i were you.
Thank you. Let me just **** her then... She just sent me a text now asking what I would like her to bring me for dinner on her way from work. Let me enjoy these benefits while they still last... I'm not gonna catch feelings tho
 

dude99

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Thank you. Let me just **** her then... She just sent me a text now asking what I would like her to bring me for dinner on her way from work. Let me enjoy these benefits while they still last... I'm not gonna catch feelings tho
Perfect.

Bad quality woman are good for f-buddies. Nothing more

Enjoy the ride.
 

BeExcellent

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She's the mistress. The married guy's mistress, but he runs hot and cold with her. He probably gives her benefits of some sort and if it were known she is dating you this screws up her mistress benefits situation.

But she knows she can never have him and wants perhaps more than sex (or at least for YOU to be emotionally attached to her.) She will feel better if someone is emotionally attached to her. That's why you being a "player" bugs her. She is drawn to emotionally unavailable men.

Have sex with her if you want and enjoy yourself but understand something. She is using you. You are the one playing the dangerous game because this is not a woman you should catch feelings for.
 

Heweab24

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She's the mistress. The married guy's mistress, but he runs hot and cold with her. He probably gives her benefits of some sort and if it were known she is dating you this screws up her mistress benefits situation.

But she knows she can never have him and wants perhaps more than sex (or at least for YOU to be emotionally attached to her.) She will feel better if someone is emotionally attached to her. That's why you being a "player" bugs her. She is drawn to emotionally unavailable men.

Have sex with her if you want and enjoy yourself but understand something. She is using you. You are the one playing the dangerous game because this is not a woman you should catch feelings for.
I act all Macho around her but now I've noticed that when I'm alone it really eats me up. Especially the part where she couldn't blatantly call him her ex, let alone be the one to initiate conversations with him but act all cold with him when I'm around. I didn't sleep well, but I don't want to be the loser here. If you were me BeExcellent, what would do in this situation?
 

Heweab24

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She's the mistress. The married guy's mistress, but he runs hot and cold with her. He probably gives her benefits of some sort and if it were known she is dating you this screws up her mistress benefits situation.

But she knows she can never have him and wants perhaps more than sex (or at least for YOU to be emotionally attached to her.) She will feel better if someone is emotionally attached to her. That's why you being a "player" bugs her. She is drawn to emotionally unavailable men.

Have sex with her if you want and enjoy yourself but understand something. She is using you. You are the one playing the dangerous game because this is not a woman you should catch feelings for.
I was also thinking of turning the tables on her now and actually BE THE ONE using her...
 

BeExcellent

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You already have feelings. You need other girls to keep you occupied as others have suggested, spin more plates.

One other thing...reading messages on someone else's phone (whether she allowed it or not) never bodes well. It indicates a lack of trust, which is an undermining influence on its own.

You need additional women in the rotation. Get busy finding them & allocate this one less mental space.
 

Desdinova

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This girl has an ex boyfriend who from going through her phone today I found out they're still communicating. This ex of hers is a married man to make matters worse. On one of the texts between them she told him that after she had received his call another ex of hers called her as well then the guy said that he doesn't consider himself an ex. He went on to ask her if she does, of which she replied that he is part of her history and she can't erase him that easily.
These two ex-BFs are higher up on her high score list than you are. Chances are they'll remain her priority instead of you.

I'm a man aged 27 and there's this girl I'm seeing who is a few month younger than me.
Most women over the age of 23 are damaged goods. They're only good for sex and not LTRs. They're going to have ex-BFs and orbiters hanging around, some will have kids, some will be divorced. If you want a good LTR, you'll have to look at women younger than age 23. If you just wanna get laid, you have a very broad spectrum of women to choose from.
 

Heweab24

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These two ex-BFs are higher up on her high score list than you are. Chances are they'll remain her priority instead of you.



Most women over the age of 23 are damaged goods. They're only good for sex and not LTRs. They're going to have ex-BFs and orbiters hanging around, some will have kids, some will be divorced. If you want a good LTR, you'll have to look at women younger than age 23. If you just wanna get laid, you have a very broad spectrum of women to choose from.
Are you saying it's best I leave this woman? I was thinking of beating her at her own game.
 

Heweab24

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Youre not beating her at sh1t don't delude yourself
Someone told me on this forum that the woman is using me. I want to be the one using her to gratify my sexual appetite. My idea was to act like nothing happened and carry on, at the same time being a challenge to her like I've always been. I don't want it to seem as if I was hurt or anything. I simply wanna keep fvcking this woman.... And yeah, spin the plates too!
 

mrgoodstuff

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Ok, that's fine but youre not beating her at anything, you're fulfilling a role in her Disney movie fantasy world(that also includes adultery lol).
He's gonna be one of the several dwarves. She'll be pining for the most established and opulent prince while the dwarves entertain her carnally.
 
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