The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[BeTheChange]

Day 25

Complete and absolute acceptance. The closest I've ever felt to zen.

The journey is not over but if I feel like this now on day 25 I cannot wait till day 60. This chapter of my life has strengthened me in a way I did not think possible. If I get through this I can get through anything. There is no woman I cannot walk away from now.

 

[Asmodeus]

If I get through this I can get through anything. There is no woman I cannot walk away from now.

 

[xstang77]

Well I stayed strong yesterday and stuck nc though probably giving up late night drunk sex from my ex...I did start talking to a nice girl last night that seems stabile and set up a date without getting hopes to high,so here's to hoping in better things to come.

 

[beatjunkie]

Hello All,

Back on here again. Same girl i've been posting about last 3 years. on and off. Breakup happened this time after big fall out at work and involved family (we work together). even CEO got involved and everything. eventually I apologized to her and she did too. Then she wanted to go on a long weekend to "get closure" and away from the country I am in. I accepted and then thought about and told her not to come after she was on the way in the taxi to airport...because she basically wanted me to beg. And I told her so. I hung up, she called 5 times in a row didn't answer. This was 6 days ago.

This morning I woke up and called her (6AM) but not answer. texted immediately "sorry to disturb, only a bad dream." haven't gotten a reply since. haven't called since. I plan on calling again one last time.

Do note; I want to marry this girl.

Someone help me make a decision please; I plan on calling in 2 hours.

 

[BeTheChange]

Day 26

Lads, even if it feels like the most difficult thing in the world push through those first one or two weeks of what is the post breakup emotional rollercoaster. Trust me. Do not break NC even if your hope is to reconcile, which seems to be a convenient excuse for lots of men to fall back. After three weeks you will be a lot more centred and at four you will wonder why you ever even cared as much as you did.

For those in the initial stages of NC. Right now your mind is in a cloud. As long as you do NC properly (no texts, phone calls, social media stalking, looking at pictures of her, etc.) you will push through the fog and eventually things will become much clearer. You will be shocked at how centred you will feel once you reach that state.

 

[Carpathian]

Day 26

Lads, even if it feels like the most difficult thing in the world push through those first one or two weeks of what is the post breakup emotional rollercoaster. Trust me. Do not break NC even if your hope is to reconcile, which seems to be a convenient excuse for lots of men to fall back. After three weeks you will be a lot more centred and at four you will wonder why you ever even cared as much as you did.

For those in the initial stages of NC. Right now your mind is in a cloud. As long as you do NC properly (no texts, phone calls, social media stalking, looking at pictures of her, etc.) you will push through the fog and eventually things will become much clearer. You will be shocked at how centred you will feel once you reach that state.

I'd echo that. It's imperative you steer clear of any and all references to her.
I feel for you if you work with her at the same company, I really do.

 

[beatjunkie]

The trick up my sleeve; I have a new job in a new country with a new organization. I have accepted and signed.

But how to I stop myself from trying to get closure. I feel like I should call and have her not respond just so that I have my conscience clear "that I tried one last time"

thoughts?

 

[PantyWhisperer]

Day 57 - the spring just keeps getting tighter.... I know I'll get 60 and more after that, but it's just the psychological aspect that's getting to me! Of course, it's way easier when she is also on NC with me apparently...

 

[Gaysha]

Day 50.

I will be completely honest. I stopped thinking about her for the last 2 weeks, felt great (still do). But last night I suddenly started thinking about her, how it's so sad we used to tell each other everything and now we're complete strangers. It's been 7 weeks since last message, 11 since the break-up. But that's life, we all eventually move on.
I know I love her with all my heart but we can't be together. I stopped wanting that. I am much happier now. I hope she is happier, too.
This is what NC is about.

 

[BeTheChange]

Day 27

I forgive you and myself. The good times were a blessing and the bad memories a scar from which only the most painful of lessons can be learnt. A pain from which true growth can be achieved. Self-transcendence. "Evolve...". I ignore the voice. "Evolve...". I divert my attention away but the sound grows louder until like thunder it screams "EVOLVE" in a sea of magnificent agony. Evolve or die. I choose life.

I wish you the best but now I must close that chapter and say...Goodbye.

 

[xstang77]

Day 40 nc looking forward to upcoming date with a new girl that's hotter then my ex,still having negative thoughts since she contacted me Saturday literally 1month after her last message with a simple "hey" I saw she changed her profile pic to just her now so her new r/s is probably loosing it's excitement,she was also coming to my town that night to drink...still kinda want to bang her and I'm thinking her contact means that's still a possibility, guess I'm having a low moment, since this is the second time in a month I ignored her contact maybe she'll stop for good now.

 

[BeTheChange]

Day 40 nc looking forward to upcoming date with a new girl that's hotter then my ex,still having negative thoughts since she contacted me Saturday literally 1month after her last message with a simple "hey" I saw she changed her profile pic to just her now so her new r/s is probably loosing it's excitement,she was also coming to my town that night to drink...still kinda want to bang her and I'm thinking her contact means that's still a possibility, guess I'm having a low moment, since this is the second time in a month I ignored her contact maybe she'll stop for good now.

Do you really want to get back with a girl who is ONLY interested because things with the actual guy she was interested in fizzled out. You're still in the fog. Stay NC until it clears. Have some pride and dignity man. No pvssy is worth that.

 

[Carpathian]

The trick up my sleeve; I have a new job in a new country with a new organization. I have accepted and signed.

But how to I stop myself from trying to get closure. I feel like I should call and have her not respond just so that I have my conscience clear "that I tried one last time"

thoughts?

Forget "closure". There is no such thing as closure. The ONLY closure that matters is that [certainly for now] it is over. That is all the closure you need. Forget thinking that "just one last conversation" could neatly tidy all the loose ends up. That notion is a fantasy. The only closure that matters is your acceptance that it is over and the quicker you can get to that point the easier it will be on you and the more "closed" the whole thing will feel.

 

[xstang77]

Do you really want to get back with a girl who is ONLY interested because things with the actual guy she was interested in fizzled out. You're still in the fog. Stay NC until it clears. Have some pride and dignity man. No pvssy is worth that.

Oh I don't want her back,I'm detached enough to know better,I'm just still juggling the idea of using here as a **** buddy,think I need a little more time until I'm actually detached enough to be able to do so.

 

[BeTheChange]

Oh I don't want her back,I'm detached enough to know better,I'm just still juggling the idea of using here as a **** buddy,think I need a little more time until I'm actually detached enough to be able to do so.

Are you so devoid of the ability to generate options that you need to keep this viper around in any capacity whatsoever?

 

[xstang77]

Are you so devoid of the ability to generate options that you need to keep this viper around in any capacity whatsoever?

You should see what the area I live in is like... But I'm still staying nc.

 

[BeTheChange]

Saw my ex literally 10 minutes after I came back home from Italy. I kid you not. She walked past my window. Not even going to lie. She looks good. Blonde hair flowing, tanned skin, black dress. It's VERY obvious that she is clearly going on a date.

I'm ok with it but it still hit me way more than I thought it would given how centred I've felt these last few days. Obviously haven't broken no contact because reconciliation is a dream and nothing more but was a bit shook so talked it through with a mate. Life goes on. I'll be fine. Feel ready to get back out there. Have 5 dates over the next week or so. It will be refreshing to spend time with other women.

Would welcome support from my brothers and sisters. Touched a chord more than I expected.

 

[BeTheChange]

Fvck this. It should be her getting topsy turvy over the sight of me. Not the other way round. I am the prize. And I don't just say this as a buzzword. I know this.

My ex is not a special snowflake. The ONLY thing she has going for her is that she is very attractive and has a good sense of humour.Once you strip away the BPD esque loving charm there is a monster underneath. I do not need that in my life. I loved her, I've forgiven her and now it's time to move on. If I see her in the streets again I will allow that jolt to the heart to happen. I won't see it as weakness but instead accept it for what it is. Emotions calling for something that is only an illusion.

Going to read the DJ Bible and get my mindset right in preparation for my dates this week.

Onwards.

 

[beatjunkie]

S

Saw my ex literally 10 minutes after I came back home from Italy. I kid you not. She walked past my window. Not even going to lie. She looks good. Blonde hair flowing, tanned skin, black dress. It's VERY obvious that she is clearly going on a date.

I'm ok with it but it still hit me way more than I thought it would given how centred I've felt these last few days. Obviously haven't broken no contact because reconciliation is a dream and nothing more but was a bit shook so talked it through with a mate. Life goes on. I'll be fine. Feel ready to get back out there. Have 5 dates over the next week or so. It will be refreshing to spend time with other women.

Would welcome support from my brothers and sisters. Touched a chord more than I expected.

Stay strong!!

 

[beatjunkie]

So since my last posting here...i called, we talked. Then she came over and we had one last rodeo...she asked for it. I felt like **** after and underperformed. This was two days ago. Yesterday I called again and we talked for a while. This morning i called again to say good morning....now i will be going full NC with nothing additional left to say or ask.

Day 1