The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Armourhead]

DAY 20

Last night went out with 6 girl friends and one potential plate for a drink at a bar. I had an amazing time, my confidence was at a very high level and I was very nonchalant,funny,charming- basically yesterday I was alpha as fvck. Ofc that one potential plate, hooked up with her, she couldnt get her hands off my d1ck as she was so horny about me. She loved every second that she spent in my company. In fact, everybody loved my company last night.

Enough for yesterday, lets talk about today. As usual, i still have dreams about my ex every night. Waking up every fvcking morning thinking about her. Everyday im trying to apply that alpha mentality where i can control my thoughts and emotions and most of the time it actually works, but today thats maybe not the case. Feeling some strong pain in my chest today as thoughts are coming up where I might see her these days with someone else. Wouldnt know how to react in that kind of situation because i know that i will be filled over with emotions and pain.

Almost 50 days since the break up, and as I said 20 days since last contact, things are getting better i must admit. I also found out some nasty stuff about her past, what she did to her ex boyfriend before me, and I can truly say that this girl at least back then was a SL*T! That's why she is branch swinging now with ease.

But the most painful thing that bothers me isnt that she left me for another guy, or that im jealous now, or that i miss her or that i cant fvck her anymore.. The most painful thing is that I THOUGHT I KNEW THIS GIRL. I was so convinced in that naive and calm and loving personality that she showed and couldnt even open my eyes even if i wanted to. I had some opinions about her, some beliefs that back then i thought that would never change and that are very true and realistic. And now everything falls into water. The person I thought i knew, the person i idealized and the person i honestly loved with all of my heart and all of my soul and body, just isnt real and true. And that's what sucks the most.

I dont have anything else to say really..if some1 wants to reply to give me some valuable opinion, be my guest, if not, its all good.

Welcome to red pill. I think every guy needs or will at some point in their life undergo this disillusion with life. I went through the same thing about 6 months ago. Was with plenty of women in my life then caught oneitis for a virgin for 3+ years. Unconsciously thought she was NAWALT, was disillusioned during the breakup. Just give it time and you'll recover entirely from this. Develop yourself while you recover to keep yourself busy.

You are going to emerge from this stronger than you were before, now that you know the truth. It sucks but its better to have sight in hell than to be blind in heaven.

 

[alex_in24]

This kind of manly backup, that no girl ever, even mothers, cant give to their male friends/sons, gives me so much hope and motivation and literally destroys that sadness and emptiness that i feel in my chest. It doesnt kill it instantly but with continuous reading, its fvcking melting down! And u can take that to the bank !

Better to have sight in hell ?? Well all I am going to say to the fvcking devils is: Is that all you got ?? Coz imma get through this whether they like it or not, stronger that ever, and fvck yeah, gonna keep swallowing those red pills until my gut is bloody red, and eyes wide open, even on the back!

Thanks @Armourhead, u just gave me a blast of motivation. I owe u.

 

[Fireballs]

Day 19

Today was the first day that she wasn't the first thing I thought about when I woke up.. very happy about that.

Will be a busy man this week.. Have dates set up for Wed, Thur and Fri. Looking forward to them.

 

[Glassguy]

A little late, but I am going to jump in on this. I was leery at first because I am at the point that it may be a constant reminder of her to put updates on here but I think I am past that stage.

I am on day 22 of no contact. My ex (3 yr LTR that ended surprisingly February 11th, we were engaged last October and the wedding was planned for May 28th of this year). At first I was butthurt and chased a little and tried to talk to her after the breakup. That lasted about 2 weeks. We sat down at one point for 2 hours to talk, 10 days after the breakup, which ended with her kissing all over me before I left and then a few days later she went cold again. So I dropped the chasing her real quick.

I thought that I had wiped her off all my social media but I didnt unfollow her on Instagram. Saturday night I scroll through and see a pic of her and a guy that says "This guy ". Funny thing is, when we first started dating, the first pic she ever put on social media of us said.....get ready for it...."This guy". Ironic lol.

So seeing the pic made me realize the importance of ending all for of communication, especially social media, IMMEDIATELY after a break up. Its not a good feeling.

My ex has never been married and no kids. I was married before and have a 12 year old daughter, and I am 12 years older than her The age was never a problem....but my daughter was at some points because I couldnt just up and go somewhere on a whim. She is 26 I am 38. Funny thing is the new guy is my age and has a 4 yr old son and an ex wife in the picture (they got divorced just months ago). I have full custody of my daughter and she is very independent. No baby mama drama lol. Its just me and my daughter.

So seeing this pic of her and the new guy on Instagram stung.....but I am pass the point of being butt hurt over it. I've got one young chick I've been smashing and several others lined up. So I did what any alpha male would do when I saw the pic.....NOTHING. She will not get a rise out of me over it if she is looking for one.

I just stepped back and grinned....if she couldnt make a 3 yr LTR and planned wedding in 2 weeks work with my situation, it will be fun to see how she handles a new man with a 4 year old son and pissed off ex wife in the picture. Get the popcorn out.

Now time to work on these other chicks that want to smash.

 

[alex_in24]

A little late, but I am going to jump in on this. I was leery at first because I am at the point that it may be a constant reminder of her to put updates on here but I think I am past that stage.

I am on day 22 of no contact. My ex (3 yr LTR that ended surprisingly February 11th, we were engaged last October and the wedding was planned for May 28th of this year). At first I was butthurt and chased a little and tried to talk to her after the breakup. That lasted about 2 weeks. We sat down at one point for 2 hours to talk, 10 days after the breakup, which ended with her kissing all over me before I left and then a few days later she went cold again. So I dropped the chasing her real quick.

I thought that I had wiped her off all my social media but I didnt unfollow her on Instagram. Saturday night I scroll through and see a pic of her and a guy that says "This guy ". Funny thing is, when we first started dating, the first pic she ever put on social media of us said.....get ready for it...."This guy". Ironic lol.

So seeing the pic made me realize the importance of ending all for of communication, especially social media, IMMEDIATELY after a break up. Its not a good feeling.

My ex has never been married and no kids. I was married before and have a 12 year old daughter, and I am 12 years older than her The age was never a problem....but my daughter was at some points because I couldnt just up and go somewhere on a whim. She is 26 I am 38. Funny thing is the new guy is my age and has a 4 yr old son and an ex wife in the picture (they got divorced just months ago). I have full custody of my daughter and she is very independent. No baby mama drama lol. Its just me and my daughter.

So seeing this pic of her and the new guy on Instagram stung.....but I am pass the point of being butt hurt over it. I've got one young chick I've been smashing and several others lined up. So I did what any alpha male would do when I saw the pic.....NOTHING. She will not get a rise out of me over it if she is looking for one.

I just stepped back and grinned....if she couldnt make a 3 yr LTR and planned wedding in 2 weeks work with my situation, it will be fun to see how she handles a new man with a 4 year old son and pissed off ex wife in the picture. Get the popcorn out.

Now time to work on these other chicks that want to smash.

Wow, reading your story makes me think of the mine as a piece of cake. You were 3 yrs together and engaged and she just went cold like that, and found a new guy ? AWALT. Same situation as mine, except we were not engaged and we were same age. Believe me, she will get over you in a blink of an eye, and if ur smart and alpha enough, u will do just the same.

Best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else. And yeah, go NC for lifetime. First 2 months maybe will be a bit hard, but after that, u wont even bother replying to her even if she messages u.

 

[Glassguy]

Yep...Engaged and supposed to be married in 4 months when she gave me the ring back. It was tough at first. It wasnt an easy pill to swallow. But I will not be a beta and give her the reaction she may be searching for. I will just store that emotion I had when I saw her pic of her and the new guy away and let it be a reminder if she ever reaches out.

 

[dustmuffin]

Yep...Engaged and supposed to be married in 4 months when she gave me the ring back. It was tough at first. It wasnt an easy pill to swallow. But I will not be a beta and give her the reaction she may be searching for. I will just store that emotion I had when I saw her pic of her and the new guy away and let it be a reminder if she ever reaches out.

She did you a favor. Now enhance your value and get some strange. My ex did me a favor too. She is a unique kind of crazy. Think about you exs bad qualities. This helps a lot when you have her on your mind

 

[Glassguy]

She did you a favor. Now enhance your value and get some strange. My ex did me a favor too. She is a unique kind of crazy. Think about you exs bad qualities. This helps a lot when you have her on your mind

You're 100% correct. It's hard to see until a few weeks/months apart take the rose colored glasses off! I'm 36 and have been smashing mid to upper 20 yr olds like nothing (7s-9s). The more I tell them I don't want anything more, the more they want. It's starting to be hard to juggle several at the same time. Tough life lol.

 

[Glassguy]

Day 23 feels just like day 22. Nothing lol.

A slight thought here and there but its better every day. Another smash prospect lined up for this weekend. Life is good.

 

[alex_in24]

Day 22 of NC

Starting to get attention and compliments on my looks from people i haven't met in a while. Complimenting my gains and saying that overall i look very handsome and seem happier.Gained about 10lbs/4kgs in about a month in the gym. Using creatine monohydrate, and it seems very benefical for me.

The past 2-3 days i really don't think bout her that often. Some thought here and there. And i am not even that busy and occupied so i could be distracted.

The only thing that i keep on my mind, is not going on the same routs and paths that she does, so i can't see her. Also avoiding ''our'' places because it can trigger my emotions pretty easily, but that is not backed up since I haven't been in any of our places for a while. So maybe i will act indifferent, who knows.

That's it for today i guess.

 

[Glassguy]

Day 24 and I honestly feel great. I didnt even think of the ex until I saw a browser open on my work pc with this forum up.

Yesterday I got a new lead.....seems down to smash. I have too many oars in the water so to speak so I mentally put one girl I have been smashing the past 2 weeks on the bench. She was getting a little clingy anyways after I clearly let her know what I wanted, no more no less.I will rotate her back into the starting lineup if one of the starters gets flaky.

Life is good.

 

[alex_in24]

Day 23

Why do i feel so good and manly because i hard nexted a plate today ?? As soon as i nexted her, i felt a huge blast of manliness haha and im being serious right now. Dunno why, but i feel way better after doing that.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Day 23

Why do i feel so good and manly because i hard nexted a plate today ?? As soon as i nexted her, i felt a huge blast of manliness haha and im being serious right now. Dunno why, but i feel way better after doing that.

Reaffirms your self confidence. Reaffirms you always have options. Reaffirms your abundance mentality. Reaffirms you never have to settle. Reaffirms you are the one that chooses. Reaffirms you are a MAN.

 

[alex_in24]

Day 24

Not gonna lie. I feel sad. I miss her. I miss her laughter, miss her stupid jokes, miss her stupid face. Had a dream this morning, me and her laying in bed, she got her arms around me with one leg over my body. She was kissing me softly as i was laying there and just embracing the moment. That shook me honestly.

First day i feel like this after some good 7 days. I am aware of the ups and downs so i accept this, and i am trying to regain control over my emotions. Thinking about all the negative stuff i know and found out about her makes me a little bit better.

Why do i love her ?? why do i love the woman who did not respect me, who did not love me and who did not want to be with me ? Why do i love the woman that is fvcking my neighbor in just 2 weeks since the break up ?

Hope this sh!t ends, and i hope i am indifferent in the near future.

 

[Fireballs]

Day 24

Not gonna lie. I feel sad. I miss her. I miss her laughter, miss her stupid jokes, miss her stupid face. Had a dream this morning, me and her laying in bed, she got her arms around me with one leg over my body. She was kissing me softly as i was laying there and just embracing the moment. That shook me honestly.

First day i feel like this after some good 7 days. I am aware of the ups and downs so i accept this, and i am trying to regain control over my emotions. Thinking about all the negative stuff i know and found out about her makes me a little bit better.

Why do i love her ?? why do i love the woman who did not respect me, who did not love me and who did not want to be with me ? Why do i love the woman that is fvcking my neighbor in just 2 weeks since the break up ?

Hope this sh!t ends, and i hope i am indifferent in the near future.

I know what it's like, yesterday felt like day 1 again for me lol... We'll get there

 

[alex_in24]

I know what it's like, yesterday felt like day 1 again for me lol... We'll get there

I hope and believe we do. At the end of the day, god damn we are MEN. We are the dominant force in this god damn world.

 

[finality]

I'm back on day 3 of NC. I ended up sleeping with my ex last Friday.

Its hard when she calls/texts every day to ignore, ignore, ignore. I'm pretty much over her at this point though so the 30/60/90 days of NC is just a formality at this point. She broke up with me over two months ago so a better man would already be a 60 days but you live and learn. I played her game and lost, and while I will eventually look back at the past couple months and have a ton of regret how I handled the situation, the experience will make me a much better man.

I think the best advice I can offer someone reading this thread is that your situation is NEVER different. There is a lot of great advice offered here but you need to be willing to accept it. The other piece of advice I would offer is stay the hell away from relationship books. When my ex broke up with me I wanted to read all the information out there how be an expert with women but all that did is make me compare how I handled/should've handled different situations. I was keeping myself stuck in analytical relationship mode and it wasn't helpful for moving on or for grasping the information in a meaningful way.

Things are looking good for me though. I finish college this Sunday, I have a final interview today with a company that would pay me 20k more than I was making before, I've been working out twice a day and I'm in the best shape of my life, and I met a women that I have amazing chemistry with. I went out with 7 or 8 different women after my ex broke up with me and this is the first one that I NEEDED to get close to. We kissed like 30 minutes into our first date. She is coming over on Saturday

 

[alex_in24]

I'm back on day 3 of NC. I ended up sleeping with my ex last Friday.

Its hard when she calls/texts every day to ignore, ignore, ignore. I'm pretty much over her at this point though so the 30/60/90 days of NC is just a formality at this point. She broke up with me over two months ago so a better man would already be a 60 days but you live and learn. I played her game and lost, and while I will eventually look back at the past couple months and have a ton of regret how I handled the situation, the experience will make me a much better man.

I think the best advice I can offer someone reading this thread is that your situation is NEVER different. There is a lot of great advice offered here but you need to be willing to accept it. The other piece of advice I would offer is stay the hell away from relationship books. When my ex broke up with me I wanted to read all the information out there how be an expert with women but all that did is make me compare how I handled/should've handled different situations. I was keeping myself stuck in analytical relationship mode and it wasn't helpful for moving on or for grasping the information in a meaningful way.

Things are looking good for me though. I finish college this Sunday, I have a final interview today with a company that would pay me 20k more than I was making before, I've been working out twice a day and I'm in the best shape of my life, and I met a women that I have amazing chemistry with. I went out with 7 or 8 different women after my ex broke up with me and this is the first one that I NEEDED to get close to. We kissed like 30 minutes into our first date. She is coming over on Saturday

Dude if u are still fvcking ur ex, believe me, ur not over her no matter what u say to yourself. U mentioned u got some new girl going on. You want to mess that up because of ur ex ?? Think about it for a second. Or just make a decicison what u really want. This hot and cold game u are playing isnt bringing benefits to neither party. Either go full NC and try to work it out with the new girl, or get stuck in the past.

See how much benefits u have from breaking up with her. U are finishing college, and u are almost hired in a better and wealthier company. Like u said, u've never looked better EVER and u've had some adventures with more than 5 women EASILY!!!

I also noticed the word "NEEDED" in ur sentence..and i completely understand you what u meant by that because i've felt the same way. Believe me, u didnt mean that u NEEDED to get close to..u are just addicted to the closeness and the love that ur ex gave to u. And u are trying to find that feeling into this new girl. Dont rush things with her. I believe u are still not that sober so u can attempt to love some1 else. Just go with the flow, and be open for a relationship, dont be needy.

Before u go out with some girl next time, dress yourself, get a good haircut, get that pump from the gym, feel positive and TAKE A LOOK AT THE MIRROR! What do you see ? I'll tell what you will see. You will see a MAN that is desperately wanted by that chick waiting for u at the bar. That is desperately wanted by that company that u gave extraordinary impression. That is MAN enough to control his emotions, maintain frame at the worst possible moments and to never look back because thats a rude manner. That lives for today and plans and works for the better future.

Still want to sleep with ur ex ?? Yeah, I thought so

 

[LiveYourDream]

Why do i love her ?? why do i love the woman who did not respect me, who did not love me and who did not want to be with me ? Why do i love the woman that is fvcking my neighbor in just 2 weeks since the break up ?

It does not serve you to judge your loving. Loving does not come from logic.

You are moving on from her. Don't judge the dreams and thoughts of her. You are detoxing, so to speak. It is not easy. Be kind to yourself through the process.

Remain aware of where your time and attention are best invested, for you and your life. Keep your focus on those things. You are doing that. Know that you are right on track and just keep, keeping your focus. The day will come and you will realize you are actually out the other side and truly living a whole new adventure.

 

[Glassguy]

It does not serve you to judge your loving. Loving does not come from logic.

You are moving on from her. Don't judge the dreams and thoughts of her. You are detoxing, so to speak. Be kind to yourself through the process.

Remain aware of where your time and attention are best invested, for you and your life. Keep your focus on those things. You are doing just that. Remind yourself that you are right on track.

Very true. And realize that there ARE going to be great things that you miss from the relationship, but you have to block that out and start remembering the DISRESPECT and other things that you did not like. THAT is what is going to mentally get your mind right to not only move forward without her and eventually not care, but also put you on the path to YOUR happiness and ultimately find someone that is going to give you all of those good things (many times better) without all the bullsh!t negatives.

So after saying that, I am now on day 25 and I cant remember the last time I woke up with her on my mind, which used to be an every morning occurrence.

I have a lunch date scheduled with a 8.5/9 in just a few minutes that will lead to another date tomorrow night. Saturday night is booked with another 8.5/9 and I am still spinning plates.

Life is hard sometimes. You just have to make your mind up that a failed relationship, no matter how hard, lets you see the person in their true colors AFTER the break up (mind games, hatefulness, deceit, etc.) and make yourself understand that THIS is the person you were dating all along. I have been through this twice, once married and now a 3 yr LTR (engaged) that seemed like she really was the one. Society will make you guarded but do not let it keep you down! We all think "there will never be another like her" after a breakup. Trust me, you dont want another one like her! Now go out and find something better. Better yet, have 3-4 of them coming at you and pick your poison because you my friend have options!