The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[dustmuffin]

Yep she definitely isn't thinking about you anymore.. Women find this easy as they have usually checked out of the relationship long before they dump you. Looking back mine checked out about 2 months before it ended.

I am so fvcking stupid.. I deleted most of her friends but kept a couple of mutual friends and forgot to ''unfollow'' one of them. He put up a group pic up of them all and guess who she is standing close to looking chummy with.. another Doctor from her study group/work who I had a gut feel that there was something going on at least emotionally..looks like he's moved in.. Made me feel sick.. really wish I hadn't of seen it.

Looking forward to picking my boat up Wednesday and getting the fvck on with my life.

We all make mistakes. Learn from it and move on. One day in the near future you won't give a s hit.

 

[finality]

Day 2 of NC.

I set boundaries the last time I talked with my ex. She has been cheating on her new boyfriend with me but I put an end to it. I tried to detach emotionally and just use her for sex but I'm not strong enough right now and catch feels each time we hook up.

I set a bunch of goals for the next 2 months and I'm keeping track of every activity that is beneficial even if its just walking my dog for 20 minutes.

My 3 main goals or milestones in the next 2 months are:

- Finish my college diploma

I only have 1 month left of school

- Become certified as NLP practitioner

I'm taking an 8 days workshop in June.. this will no doubt help rebuild my confidence and mental frame

- Get a new job

I've been unemployed for the last year because I was in school. My diploma should allow me to make 20-30k more than I previously earned.

I have tons of smaller goals but just wanted to list my main ones for now.

 

[Floydispink01]

Very good advice.....She isnt thinking about you...She has new men in her life and is thinking about them. The sooner you move on the better you will be.

If you are using NC to win her back/get a reaction from her then this statement above will hit you hard. Brutal but also enlightening.

I am going to take a punt and say that a lot of men are unable to accept this.......the quicker you can. The quicker you can heal.

 

[Fireballs]

Picked the boat up yesterday and fixed the lock I broke. Got a thankyou text from her last night for fixing the lock but I didn't respond. Not because of NC but because I didn't do it for validation. I did it because I broke it and I took responsibility.

But finally I can now properly move on. Still hurts like hell but I'll get there.

I am grateful for having found this site and being able to see things through the red pill lens. I cringe to think how I would be acting towards her right now if I had never found this place. Understanding the true nature of women certainly does help in dealing with a break up.

 

[Jordski]

Done with 60 days NC. I realized how lame and pretentious the bish was now lol.

 

[Mig1]

Day 9 NC - she's trying to make excuses to contact me, wants her few little items of clothing back, after saying that it didn't matter before , ignored her for 9 days now ........ Mean while I gave up hundreds of dollars of belongings, basically writing them off and forgetting about them ....... sends me pictures and phrases about forgiveness and letting the past go , trying to bait me ..... I AINT BITING !!!!!

 

[Mig1]

Day 10 - She tried to contact me this morning with a text "Hope your doing well" ....... lol , of course I ignored it , funny how she hopes I'm doing well after lying to me, and running off with her ex BF , what a Narcissist , she's "hoovering" , sorry i ain't taking the bait , I will admit , its very difficult because my co-dependency causes me to think I love her and she loves me , but I'm tired of being in pain .........

 

[dustmuffin]

Day 10 - She tried to contact me this morning with a text "Hope your doing well" ....... lol , of course I ignored it , funny how she hopes I'm doing well after lying to me, and running off with her ex BF , what a Narcissist , she's "hoovering" , sorry i ain't taking the bait , I will admit , its very difficult because my co-dependency causes me to think I love her and she loves me , but I'm tired of being in pain .........

Stay strong it's for the best

 

[S. Aureus]

I finished the NC Challenge
I gotta say that I was a king AFC. Now I doubt that i left tha old me behind completely but fixed a lot of things. People noticed it a few times so yeah, it felt great.
About her, a lot red flags and a few of her friends too but I know she is a good person. A little bit toxic but I don't blame her completely because I was a AFC and that blow her off.
My feelings: In comparisson of Day 1, way better. Once a week I remember a good thing because I saw something or heard something about her but thats it. The last contact I had with her was a few days ago, I went with some friends to help packing some food and clothes to the people that were affected by the earthquake and she was there by coincidence. I only said hi and good bye and nothing else.

And me
-I can get someone better than her
-Gotta expand my social circle because my friends or they have a LTR gf or don't go to parties and something like that.
-Fix a little bit of my confidence
-Get better shape (Doubt it in this 4 month because the uni and my hellish schedule)

At the end, if she ask to be friends again, I'd say no. It won't be good to either of us and probably will have some tension starting from two weeks because I'll see her in 9 of my 11 classes but I know I can handle that

 

[Fireballs]

Has been just over 4 weeks since the break up and 6 days since I picked the boat up so I guess I'm on day 6.

Constantly switching between the anger, depression and acceptance phases each day. Bit all over the place at the moment.

Back out to sea tomorrow for 2 weeks of work then taking 2 weeks off to go and visit my family.

Have been re-reading the DJ bible and have a fwb on the go but haven't been pursuing any dates as of yet but I think it's time that I started.

 

[dustmuffin]

Got an email from my ex today. She asked how I was and wants to talk. What the hell would she want to talk about? Anyway I'm going to ignore. It really started my gut churning. I'm glad she is long distsnce. Running into her would defiantly suck.

I am over her and will be glad when she dosent effect me at all. Yes I miss her. She is not good for my well being. Funny thing is when my wife dumped me I could of cared less about her. I was upset about my boys and that was it.

I have a date tonight and have to purge my mind so I won't be nervous. If I screw it up np. There are more to be had. I have dates Thursday and friday. Friday is second date with girl I fuc ked sat. Some secs will defiantly relax me.

 

[Tictac]

I am over her and will be glad when she dosent effect me at all. Yes I miss her. She is not good for my well being. Funny thing is when my wife dumped me I could of cared less about her. I was upset about my boys and that was it.

I have definitely 'been there, done that'.

If you are well and truly done, the only response is no response at all.

 

[alex_in24]

NC- day 9

Now let me tell you my story. I've been with my ex for a year and 8 months. We had our ups and downs, the relationship wasn't perfect, but as sure as hell we loved each other a lot. Bla bla bla, on 25 march 2016, which was a month ago, we had a terrible fight with cusses and everything and in the middle of it, she tells me she never wants to see me again...

As this has happened a lot of times before, i just let her chill out for like 3 days and then came back to her..guess what- she called me the worst things u can imagine in ur head and literally threw me out of her building by calling her cousin to get me out because i was harassing her. From that day 29 march till 18 april (2016 ofc) i went full no contact. Literally i didnt check her not even once on all the social media, didnt call, didnt sms,nor email, NOTHING !!! But in the mean time, wherever she went, she made sure to come pass my house, wherever i was out, she got her friends saying to her where i was, and she would just walk by that bar or cafe shop just so she could see me i guess. And that has happened few times in that period of 3 weeks.

Now read carefully guys, this is one of the mistakes that i made. I talked to my FEMALE cousin about my ex . One of the basic rules which i was already aware of is that you should never, EVER talk or get advice from a girl about ur girl. That just cant be, PERIOD. Fast forward, she made me call her the next day after good 3 and a half weeks of NC with my ex constantly checking on me what did i do.

The next thing i remember - i got dumped-AGAIN! but in a more calmly, very cold, very very effective for my ex way..she told me that she has been was losing her feelings for me for the past 3-4 months. Honestly after that, i felt very sad, very disappointed and couldn't believe that those words were coming out of my "the one" love..

We talked for an hour maybe with a few hugs and kisses here and there and we separated in more of a friendly way agreeing that we shouldn't contact nor see each other at all. That was as i said, on 18 april so today is 9th day of NC. Nothing particular from my ex, dont see her around anymore like i was seeing her when i first implemented the NC.

Honestly, i have my ups and downs, today i feel good, tomorrow i'll feel maybe like ****, i feel jealous of the thought of other guys ****ing her and what not..but at the end of the day, i didnt like the relationship, i wasnt that happy although i loved her so..

I will keep u guys updated, YOU helped me A LOT with ur stories and I appreciate that very much so I thought I could help someone who is in a similiar situation like me. Thanks

 

[dustmuffin]

NC- day 9

Now let me tell you my story. I've been with my ex for a year and 8 months. We had our ups and downs, the relationship wasn't perfect, but as sure as hell we loved each other a lot. Bla bla bla, on 25 march 2016, which was a month ago, we had a terrible fight with cusses and everything and in the middle of it, she tells me she never wants to see me again...

As this has happened a lot of times before, i just let her chill out for like 3 days and then came back to her..guess what- she called me the worst things u can imagine in ur head and literally threw me out of her building by calling her cousin to get me out because i was harassing her. From that day 29 march till 18 april (2016 ofc) i went full no contact. Literally i didnt check her not even once on all the social media, didnt call, didnt sms,nor email, NOTHING !!! But in the mean time, wherever she went, she made sure to come pass my house, wherever i was out, she got her friends saying to her where i was, and she would just walk by that bar or cafe shop just so she could see me i guess. And that has happened few times in that period of 3 weeks.

Now read carefully guys, this is one of the mistakes that i made. I talked to my FEMALE cousin about my ex . One of the basic rules which i was already aware of is that you should never, EVER talk or get advice from a girl about ur girl. That just cant be, PERIOD. Fast forward, she made me call her the next day after good 3 and a half weeks of NC with my ex constantly checking on me what did i do.

The next thing i remember - i got dumped-AGAIN! but in a more calmly, very cold, very very effective for my ex way..she told me that she has been was losing her feelings for me for the past 3-4 months. Honestly after that, i felt very sad, very disappointed and couldn't believe that those words were coming out of my "the one" love..

We talked for an hour maybe with a few hugs and kisses here and there and we separated in more of a friendly way agreeing that we shouldn't contact nor see each other at all. That was as i said, on 18 april so today is 9th day of NC. Nothing particular from my ex, dont see her around anymore like i was seeing her when i first implemented the NC.

Honestly, i have my ups and downs, today i feel good, tomorrow i'll feel maybe like ****, i feel jealous of the thought of other guys ****ing her and what not..but at the end of the day, i didnt like the relationship, i wasnt that happy although i loved her so..

I will keep u guys updated, YOU helped me A LOT with ur stories and I appreciate that very much so I thought I could help someone who is in a similiar situation like me. Thanks

Those are all normal feelings. You will get over them. Sounds like you were set up by the cousin. Your ex wanted closure and you gave it to her by accepting the bad advice from the cousin. Lesson learned, no biggie just press on with NC and get control of your emotions.

 

[alex_in24]

DAY 11

Woke up still drunk from the last nights partying..i had an amazing time,made eye to eye contact to several very good looking women but still didnt approach...

I saw a missed call on my phone, it was from a friend of mine. Called him to see whats up. We talked for a bit before he told me that he saw my ex on instagram on a trip to Prague, Czech republic. ( btw im from Skopje, Macedonia, SouthEastern Europe). Since I went fully NC, no stalking or whatever i didnt know that. That shook me a bit honestly, had to tell u this, so i can express my feelings to the people who will try to help me, not f*** me up.

Jealousy came up again. Million thoughts coming up..her f*****g there other guys and doing whatever not..leave aside the jealousy and im honestly good. I dont miss her, dont love her like i thought i did, but the jealousy is awful. Dont know why it comes up, so i can kill the root and the reason.

Thats all for this morning.

 

[MrWood]

keep the faith Alex!

 

[finality]

DAY 5

I told my last week that as long as she was with her boyfriend not to contact me. The next day she called me and told me that she broke up with her boyfriend and invited me over for supper. We ended up hooking up. Then the next day I found out that she went out with her boyfriend again and I think she lied about even breaking up with him so I told her to leave me alone and call me in a couple months.

She contacted me 8 times in 4 days since that.. all of which I ignored. I think previous times I went NC because I wanted her to miss me but now I'm doing it so I can finally heal and move on.

I did a lot of research why this particularly breakup was hard for me and I believe my ex is borderline and I developed some codependency issues while being in a relationship with her.

I know her contacting me right now is just hoovering and it isn't about me at all.

 

[alex_in24]

DAY 5

I told my last week that as long as she was with her boyfriend not to contact me. The next day she called me and told me that she broke up with her boyfriend and invited me over for supper. We ended up hooking up. Then the next day I found out that she went out with her boyfriend again and I think she lied about even breaking up with him so I told her to leave me alone and call me in a couple months.

She contacted me 8 times in 4 days since that.. all of which I ignored. I think previous times I went NC because I wanted her to miss me but now I'm doing it so I can finally heal and move on.

I did a lot of research why this particularly breakup was hard for me and I believe my ex is borderline and I developed some codependency issues while being in a relationship with her.

I know her contacting me right now is just hoovering and it isn't about me at all.

Just keep on with NC, believe me it will get better, i'm on day 11, and as crazy as it sounds, u will just learn how to deal with letting go..just let it go, ignore, go out with friends AS MUCH as u CAN, and start approaching new women.

 

[finality]

Just keep on with NC, believe me it will get better, i'm on day 11, and as crazy as it sounds, u will just learn how to deal with letting go..just let it go, ignore, go out with friends AS MUCH as u CAN, and start approaching new women.

My situation was a bit different because my ex is borderline. I didn't know any of this chit at the time. She split me to black and I was left for dead. I walked each time but she is also a narcissist and of course their biggest fear is abandonment so even though she dropped me she simultaneously couldn't let me go. Would blow up my phone or just stop by my house aka hoovering.

Researching all this stuff has helped me heal. She cannot control herself. Her hardware is not normal and she is incapable of loving the way normal people love. We all know that women are ruled by emotions but borderlines are on an entire different level.

One thing I don't think is helpful is going out and meeting a bunch of new women... I fkck 3 women right off the bat and all it did was give me a quick fix that delayed any real healing.

Right now I don't care about women at all. Investing 100% into myself. Eventually my vibration will be so strong that women will fall into my lap. Until then all I'm attracting is trash. fvck women.

 

[alex_in24]

DAY 12


I just woke up..had several dreams about my ex , and it somehow brought me some feeling of nostalgia in my chest, thinking about the things we did together. My mind is trying to f*** me up again this day but i wont allow it. I'm in control of my emotions and i know whats best for me!

Also I wanted to ask u this guys. When u drunk, do u think about ur ex's, do u have that urge to call her or sms her ?? Coz whenever I am, i dont even think about her, cant catch myself thinking bout her honestly..