just joined
hi fellow members,
here is my story:four months after my exwife of 3 years(knew each other for 13 years) and I divorced(btw,i was over her at the time:yes: ),hooked up with this 30yo girl i knew for 2 months,on september 1,2009(ironically,she and her exbf of 3 years who was back living in japan,broke up earlier that day also),but unfortunately had to move 1100 km away to the next province(on sept 2) to attend to my familys house.btw my ex and i are in Canada.we decided to be bf and gf in this long distance relationship.i went back to her city at the end of sept. to work at my hospital job that i had kept(as a casual worker)and not relinquished for 1 week and spend time with her.Then i went back to her city again at the end of october to work another 2 weeks.then went on a preplanned for 1 yr, vacation alone with my family from nov 16-jan 6 to the philippines and also attend to business matters there.My exgf and i maintained contact at least 1-2x a day via email,text,phone,or webcam throughout our 5 month relationship.she flew into my city to visit and seriously consider moving to my city by march(after her school is finished)and live in my house, on jan 7-16,but we were having problems commence already,mainly due to me being love-blind and not being aware of these issues.BTW,in hindsight,NOW I AM REFLECTING BACK ON WHAT I DID WRONG in our relationship,for example:not being so affectionate at times,controlling,etc....anyways,she had to find a new place to live by the end of january.she mentioned this to me even since early december.on jan 22,she revealed that she found a new place but with a roomie.a friend of a friends roomie.once she mentioned it was a guy,I LOST MY COOL and became a jealous,raging,n insecure freak.I BROKE up with her that day on jan 22.I called her back on jan 24 and we reconciled in a pleasant way.she told me her roomie knew that i was her bf...But from jan 25 to the 29 th,she couldnt be reached and she didnt contact me.I MADE the mistake of sending very rude n vulgar txt messges on jan 26 n 27...Finally,she emailed me and broke it off on jan 30th.....I was running on high emotions and flew down to her city on feb 2 and coincidentally met up with her after her school...she was standoffish and i begged n pleaded..she said "give me time"....on feb 5,she texted me again to say she considered her decision and still doesnt want me...so i met up with her again....and I really LOST MY COOL and became a weak man n cried etc...after that meeting,I voluntarily checked myself into a medical clinic bcoz i was suffering from insomnia(like 0 hours sleep per nite) for more than a week....on feb 11,i phoned her and told her i just want to be friends and mentioned that i was ok,health wise...she phoned me later that night but was civil....i tried phoning her feb 12 n 13 but no answer....so i stopped communication for 4 days....on feb 17 she txted me wondering how i was n if i did well on an english exam which will qualify me to teach english in japan should my ex and i move there in the future, on feb 16(i attained an A- btw:yes: )....btw,while receiving that txt,i was on my way to the airport to fly back home...so i met up with her at school b4 my flight and she was more warm and receptive than the previous 2 encounters by touching my arm etc,....but not like old times(kissing etc.)...i was supposed to text her back b4 her dismissal(btw her final exam is on feb 26 and mentioned she is not seeing anyone,has no new bf,as of feb 17) but was too late,so she texted 2x me wondering where i was.so i called her and she was irritable,distant,and made excuses....at the airport....feb. 17..i txted her goodbye...no response........feb 18,i txt message terrorism her 10x from yahoo messenger....sappy messages...no response......feb 19..i emailed her one last time...no response.......BTW,during our 5 months together....i knew for a fact that she loved me and cared just by her actions alone.she was a flexible giver.gave presents.walked to my apartment at 5am in the morning from 2 km away since i was on rotating shifts at the hospital.She was a good girl......so i initiated NC.....Im on DAY 2 now of this NC challenge and it feels reassurring to be a part of this forum despite my SOB story and I do apologize if any one feels like puking,reading this story,LOL....TKS.......any input would be appreciated.guys,this hurts by being not on good terms or even any form of warm relations with her....but i feel that NC will only make me stronger.and yeah,im now starting to realize she wasnt perfect either:whiny,secretive,nagging,blaming,etc.....i manned up and admitted my faults and am aware of being able to fix them n myself.....after reading through these previous posts,i feel empathy from them.........i deleted her phone number,yahoo messenger addy,blocked her email,hid the presents she gave me,and deleted all her pics on my computer...the only way to get into contact is if i pick up that phone....NOT! YOU guys are right....women dont have the B%LLz to breakup with you in person or on the phone....my ex did it via Email and text message.
