The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[LiveYourDream]

What happens after no Contact?

If done correctly, then you are free. You have a life and mind that no longer revolve around 'the one' who brought you to this thread.

 

[S. Aureus]

Day 3 over 40 days

Pretty great so far. Going out with some friends and concentrating with my studies have made me think anything but her. Today i saw her for like 3 minutes but we didn't get close so we didn't say hello or anything, Tomorrow will be with her for 2 hours in the same room with another 10 people so it will be a little awkward.
Also thursday with a friend of mine, we will get out with his gf and two friends (one of them is pretty cute and available), and friday a pretty big party but I'm pretty sure that I will see my ex so I'll play cool and hopefully everything should be fine

Also I'm trying to think a lot of positive things about me, that "I'm the prize" "It's her loss" "I can do better" and I know. I will get better guys. If a lot of my friends and her bff told me that and also I KNOW THAT I AM.

 

[Skyline]

Day 13(broke no contact)

I woke up feeling normal. Later on in the morning she texted me that her car broke down and that she was going to be late and to tell me to tell our professor. I simply responded with "have fun walking" and she replied with "fvck no." I didn't reply after that.

Also, she could have texted a few other class mates but decided to text me..? Just food for thought.

Didn't really talk to her or interact with her in class. Kind of just let myself be fun and obnoxious like how I usually am.

Later in in the evening she posts a snapchat about how her coach hates her. I send her one asking why and she responded but I haven't opened it yet.

I don't feel bad for breaking no contact to be honest. Obviously I'm still going to treat her like a 2 and do my own thing but I feel like I'm on the verge of getting over her so I don't think I need to update this anymore.

She still floats in the back of my mind but she will come back around later down the road. She's really missing out.

The first 10 days were painful but I'm okay now.

Good luck to you all!

 

[Floydispink01]

Day 13(broke no contact)

I woke up feeling normal. Later on in the morning she texted me that her car broke down and that she was going to be late and to tell me to tell our professor. I simply responded with "have fun walking" and she replied with "fvck no." I didn't reply after that.

Also, she could have texted a few other class mates but decided to text me..? Just food for thought.

Didn't really talk to her or interact with her in class. Kind of just let myself be fun and obnoxious like how I usually am.

Later in in the evening she posts a snapchat about how her coach hates her. I send her one asking why and she responded but I haven't opened it yet.

I don't feel bad for breaking no contact to be honest. Obviously I'm still going to treat her like a 2 and do my own thing but I feel like I'm on the verge of getting over her so I don't think I need to update this anymore.

She still floats in the back of my mind but she will come back around later down the road. She's really missing out.

The first 10 days were painful but I'm okay now.

Good luck to you all!

She most likely texted you over the other classmates because you have been indifferent towards her in these last 12 days. You've demonstrated a backbone. This has raised her interest. Without fully knowing your situation, I think its a trap to suck you back into her little orbit. Good work over the last 2 weeks to keep your cool but i would be careful how you continue from here. Feelings for a girl don't quickly subside.

'she will come back around later down the road' - you don't know this for certain, it is more than likely than she is walking down another man's road. When she falls over, she looks for the attention of you and others to pick her back up. For example - friendly 'innocent' snapchats and predicament messages. Be mindful of this, which im sure you do. Your response to these were good. Better would of been to ignore.

Good luck dude.

 

[Skyline]

She most likely texted you over the other classmates because you have been indifferent towards her in these last 12 days. You've demonstrated a backbone. This has raised her interest. Without fully knowing your situation, I think its a trap to suck you back into her little orbit. Good work over the last 2 weeks to keep your cool but i would be careful how you continue from here. Feelings for a girl don't quickly subside.

'she will come back around later down the road' - you don't know this for certain, it is more than likely than she is walking down another man's road. When she falls over, she looks for the attention of you and others to pick her back up. For example - friendly 'innocent' snapchats and predicament messages. Be mindful of this, which im sure you do. Your response to these were good. Better would of been to ignore.

Good luck dude.

If it is a trap, ill only give in a little because I see her on a daily basis. If I didn't I wouldn't have responded at all or even broke no contact. I won't be going out of my way to talk/interact with her, it'll be as if I'm still doing no contact without actually thinking about it.

I think I'm fine now to be honest, if I fall off ill come back here.

 

[Floydispink01]

Righto Neon Owl.

Now THEY are feeling rejected. So, they extend the "Olive Branch"

But this is a poison Olive Branch...you see, when you reach out for this and take it....you do it with honesty, sincerity, and hope. Vulnerability. Meanwhile, she extends it ONLY to see if you will expose yourself, once again, to be gutted. IF YOU DO....it simply confirms she still has you, can reach you and get a response, be accepted and chased by you any time she wants. It is a Trojan Horse...........whose only purpose is to feed her ego.

I am not bitter, but I am slightly hardened. When she breaks it off with you..............she CHOOSES to give up the right of a reply from you.

I can remember reading this quote a few years ago during NC and it hit me like a block of ice full force in the face. It was just what i needed. Great stuff.

 

[S. Aureus]

Day 4
Like I knew, I say hello to her because we were in the same class
Kinda weird, her bff sat behind me so I expected her to sat by her side. But she decide to do by my side, we said hello to each other, mine was a normal "hello" and her was with a big smile.
After that nothing more, felling pretty good except that hour. I felt the rage of why I hate her for a couple of minutes but then decided it wasn't any good so I try to ignore it.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Day 13(broke no contact)
I feel like I'm on the verge of getting over her....
The first 10 days were painful but I'm okay now.

Either you are in denial or your version of No Contact was just a game to toy with her emotions?

You are kidding yourself if you actually believe you have moved on and grown to true indifference.

Look at your posts from a few days earlier. How many CONSECUTIVE DAYS (let alone weeks or months) of indifference have you actually experienced? There is an ebb and flow in the 60 day process where emotions fluctuate, as true AND lasting indifference solidifies.

No offense intended, but from my perspective you barely got your feet even wet. That's ok. We all learn through experience. Sometimes we have to go back into the fire many times before we decide not to anymore.

Countless before you have preemptively ended No Contact only to realize there is way more to it than they had any idea. Thats why there is such focus for at least 60 days of true no contact, no media snooping, etc. It appears that was not exactly your intent. What you put in is what you get out. Don't mistake a day or two of indifference with true indifference. When you see her all over another guy you'll know in your gut, how indifferent you really are.

 

[Skyline]

Either you are in denial or your version of No Contact was just a game to toy with her emotions?

You are kidding yourself if you actually believe you have moved on and grown to true indifference.

Look at your posts from a few days earlier. How many CONSECUTIVE DAYS (let alone weeks or months) of indifference have you actually experienced? There is an ebb and flow in the 60 day process where emotions fluctuate, as true AND lasting indifference solidifies.

No offense intended, but from my perspective you barely got your feet even wet. That's ok. We all learn through experience. Sometimes we have to go back into the fire many times before we decide not to anymore.

Countless before you have preemptively ended No Contact only to realize there is way more to it than they had any idea. Thats why there is such focus for at least 60 days of true no contact, no media snooping, etc. It appears that was not exactly your intent. What you put in is what you get out. Don't mistake a day or two of indifference with true indifference. When you see her all over another guy you'll know in your gut, how indifferent you really are.

I see her on a daily basis. I agree that I haven't exactly moved on but I think it's because I have no plates at the moment. What I was feeling a week ago was awful but what I'm feeling now is just desperation. I'm at the point where I can find another girl to replace her. I just think about her because I have no other options at the moment.

Occasional small talk, very little at that, is okay so long as I control myself. I still see her on a daily basis... The key here is to keep looking for new girls and not get hooked.

Maybe I am in denial though, but right now I don't feel like posting about this girl anymore because it seems pointless. I'm confident that I can control myself and find a new girl.

If I bounce back, I'll come back here.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I see her on a daily basis. I agree that I haven't exactly moved on but I think it's because I have no plates at the moment. What I was feeling a week ago was awful but what I'm feeling now is just desperation. I'm at the point where I can find another girl to replace her. I just think about her because I have no other options at the moment.

Occasional small talk, very little at that, is okay so long as I control myself. I still see her on a daily basis... The key here is to keep looking for new girls and not get hooked.

Maybe I am in denial though, but right now I don't feel like posting about this girl anymore because it seems pointless. I'm confident that I can control myself and find a new girl.

If I bounce back, I'll come back here.

Aim to feel indifferent about her. Spin other plates absolutely. Always spin them for you, never to mask your feelings about the other one. Again, aim for indifference. You may see her everyday, put no meaning on any of it. Do not seek out her social media or to interact with her. Do not respond to hers. Let her hamster spin if she pursues more. Focus on your life and becoming a better version of you. Imagine you have 20 other plates all vying for your time. The one that passed up the opportunity, her loss. Better opportunities ahead. Indifference is the key!

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Day whatever
Just wanted you guys know that I'm fully good again. And something I learnt, you might think you are totally over her because you don't think about your relationship anymore, but don't be a fool and look at old photos or think that you can talk again with her. It takes more time than you realize, so keep NC forever, and if it's not possible for whatever reason, keep it for as long as you can. Don't overvalue your own forces!

 

[S. Aureus]

Day 5
Well this was a little bit a downhill. She told me hello and ask me my grade in an exam that we just had. Pretty good so far until in a group a photo where she is with a Guy that she was pretty in to.
The girl that i was gonna have to date with a friend and his gf bailes with a pretty good excuse, so my friend and his gf didn't go out also.
Tommorrow will go to a party with a couple of friends but SHE will be there. I will try to have fun and see what will happen.

 

[S. Aureus]

Day 6
Pretty good so far. Went out with a friend to the stadium and enjoyed it.
Well, right now i'm nervous. I'll go to a party and I'm sure that I'll see her. So I have kinda of mixed feeling you know guys, i didn't lose just her but my bff.
I expect everything will be great and wont look Like a AFC that I was

 

[Armourhead]

Day 6
Pretty good so far. Went out with a friend to the stadium and enjoyed it.
Well, right now i'm nervous. I'll go to a party and I'm sure that I'll see her. So I have kinda of mixed feeling you know guys, i didn't lose just her but my bff.
I expect everything will be great and wont look Like a AFC that I was

Nah, you just assumed a woman could be a man's best friend. Go out and make some masculine friends, the ones who truly believe in Bros before Hos and you'll be much better off

 

[S. Aureus]

Nah, you just assumed a woman could be a man's best friend. Go out and make some masculine friends, the ones who truly believe in Bros before Hos and you'll be much better off

Yeah, she was like my best girl friend. But thats true, thanks man

 

[S. Aureus]

So, after the party and all. Her friends started talking about zhit about me. I went pretty late and some friend told me that she was asking about so i was "Cool, but I don't talk to her for nearly a week" then after half an hour they told me than some of her friends were telling her that I was looking for her all desperate and zhit. That was few minutes after our way crossed and I say hello and nothing else.
Pretty angry because she and her friends made me look like a desperate ****. I will possibly see her tomorrow in class so If that topic come to the table, i will freaking explode.
Btw, she was with another guy holding her hands, the minute I saw her she decided to dont hold it

 

[Spinach]

Just a suggestion but how about a monthly update rather than the day by day stuff which frankly gets old quickly. Thanks in advance.

 

[indisguise]

Day 24 over 45

Even though it's been about 70 days since we've broken up, I don't feel that I'm moved on as I should be.

Today I unfollowed her on Instagram. I know I should've done that long ago but for some reason I didn't. I don't open it regularly anyway and I don't stalk her. I felt me doing so earlier would cause both of us unneeded pain. but eventually you have to break all the connections which can help you move on.
I don't feel good about trying to avoid contact and forcing myself to ignore and forget. you don't even treat friends or stranger that way! this person used to be the whole world for you and now what? you hate each other and call each other names.. I know I don't hate her, we just wanted different things.

My career is going better than great. I exercise daily and hang out with friends most of my free time. all aspects of my life are perfect and yet I can't enjoy any of that. I feel like I lost my soul and my emotions are all dead now. I wonder if I will ever get out of this mindset and be able to live normally again..
That's day 24..
good night all..

 

[Floydispink01]

Day 24 over 45

Even though it's been about 70 days since we've broken up, I don't feel that I'm moved on as I should be.

Today I unfollowed her on Instagram. I know I should've done that long ago but for some reason I didn't. I don't open it regularly anyway and I don't stalk her. I felt me doing so earlier would cause both of us unneeded pain. but eventually you have to break all the connections which can help you move on.
I don't feel good about trying to avoid contact and forcing myself to ignore and forget. you don't even treat friends or stranger that way! this person used to be the whole world for you and now what? you hate each other and call each other names.. I know I don't hate her, we just wanted different things.

My career is going better than great. I exercise daily and hang out with friends most of my free time. all aspects of my life are perfect and yet I can't enjoy any of that. I feel like I lost my soul and my emotions are all dead now. I wonder if I will ever get out of this mindset and be able to live normally again..
That's day 24..
good night all..

She used to be the whole world for you – NEWSFLASH. Times change my man. People change. Circumstances change. It’s called Life. Look at a football coach for example. His team might have won the league last season. Now what will happen if he has a bad run of results this season? He will get the chop. Its all about the here and now. The present moment. The past means jack shlt. It’s brutal but it is what it is. Turn it to you advantage.

Worst thing you can do is stalk her social media so it’s good that you have unfollowed her on Instagram.

Your career is going great – tick.
Exercise daily - tick.
Hanging out with friends – tick.

Continually chase these three aspects above and you are golden. It has the opposite effect of chasing a girl because its all about you. Your hurt for this girl is overriding the good things you are doing presently but keep maintaining them and your life will snowball. The hurt for this girl will un-snowball eventually so yes you will get out of this mindset and you will be able to live normally again.

You don’t feel that you’ve moved on? This is the No Contact challenge. Its called this for a reason. It’s a challenge, its tough, its f.cking pain. Its one big Rollercoaster ride. One week your fine, the next week you are crying. Good. It shows you are Human. Hurting. Healing.

The good times you had with that girl and the attraction she had is officially dead. Its not coming back. She was just a passing boat. Let that sink in. When that boat has gone into the distance you will eventually that it was just a boat. Bigger and better ones are always on the horizon.

Its not called the No Contact easy piece of plss simple ride. It would be good if it was that, but let me ask you – what would you really learn if someone was easy to achieve.

Take pride that you sought advice from the posters on here. We have all experienced what you are going through. We know exactly what your going through.

You will be fine dude. As others have said, read the DJ bible.

Pain is temporary. Self-respect is permament.

Good luck!

 

[indisguise]

She used to be the whole world for you – NEWSFLASH. Times change my man. People change. Circumstances change. It’s called Life. Look at a football coach for example. His team might have won the league last season. Now what will happen if he has a bad run of results this season? He will get the chop. Its all about the here and now. The present moment. The past means jack shlt. It’s brutal but it is what it is. Turn it to you advantage.

Worst thing you can do is stalk her social media so it’s good that you have unfollowed her on Instagram.

Your career is going great – tick.
Exercise daily - tick.
Hanging out with friends – tick.

Continually chase these three aspects above and you are golden. It has the opposite effect of chasing a girl because its all about you. Your hurt for this girl is overriding the good things you are doing presently but keep maintaining them and your life will snowball. The hurt for this girl will un-snowball eventually so yes you will get out of this mindset and you will be able to live normally again.

You don’t feel that you’ve moved on? This is the No Contact challenge. Its called this for a reason. It’s a challenge, its tough, its f.cking pain. Its one big Rollercoaster ride. One week your fine, the next week you are crying. Good. It shows you are Human. Hurting. Healing.

The good times you had with that girl and the attraction she had is officially dead. Its not coming back. She was just a passing boat. Let that sink in. When that boat has gone into the distance you will eventually that it was just a boat. Bigger and better ones are always on the horizon.

Its not called the No Contact easy piece of plss simple ride. It would be good if it was that, but let me ask you – what would you really learn if someone was easy to achieve.

Take pride that you sought advice from the posters on here. We have all experienced what you are going through. We know exactly what your going through.

You will be fine dude. As others have said, read the DJ bible.

Pain is temporary. Self-respect is permament.

Good luck!

Thank you very much for such motivating and helpful words. you guys are the best, I hope you all are doing well.
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Day 25 over 45

I found out that some girl I know is interested in me, she texted me with hidden meaning message, then we flirted back and forth but I'm not genuinely interested in her. even though she's very nice and cute, I don't think I'm ready to date girls yet.

What makes the breakup harder is the fact that even though it was agreed upon by both of us since we wanted different things, deep inside we know it's not what we really want. she knows that I still love her and I know she does too.

25 days ago she texted me saying she misses me. knowing this girl she would never think of doing so unless she can't take it any longer as she takes pride and it's not like her to show the weak side of hers. one of us had to think rationally because this won't do any of us good. I didn't say it back even though it was killing me after 45 days to tell her just how much I miss her. I had to be strong and tough so we both can move on.
I still remember when I assured her that I will always stay by her side, my absence caused her pain and yet I couldn't even comfort her when she came back to me.. I had to be tough on the girl who I promised I will never hurt no matter what.. God knows I cried myself to sleep that night.
so, another day went by. I hope day 26 will be easier.
night all..