Windy City Chronicles 3: Approach/Dating journal

[macallik]

Okay, haven't gotten a text back from Missy in close to two weeks. Decided to call her and her phone is legitimately turned off. I have been stressing about her not responding to my texts and trying to figure out where I went wrong, when in actuality, I have no insight and probably no recourse to the situation. She is probably out of the country but hopefully she has plans to return. The last time we hung out, she wouldn't let me up because she was cleaning but she could have been cleaning house? I can't stress about a situation that I can't change but it is one of those weird interactions that kinda keep you up at night.

We weren't 100% compatible and I'm not playing the coulda/shoulda/woulda game, but I did like hanging out with her and getting to know her and it is weird just having someone completely disappear from your life with no rhyme or reason. I'll update if I hear anything else but as it stands right now, I really have no insight into the situation. I guess this type of experience is baked into the game. Maybe 3/10 women that you get a number from turns into something meaningful, but then if that # gets large enough, you also run into 1/50 women who will completely disappear. It could've been a death in the family, rekindling things with an ex, losing all the contacts in their phone, etc. I have no way of knowing and so I just have to put it behind me.

I have also kinda added Olivia back to my roster. I met her on OKC and we had sex, but I felt like she wanted more. I let things fizzle out, but we had a talk and kind of agreed to being fwb. I really don't like labels but whatevez. We'll see how that plays out.

 

[macallik]

Halloween Recap
Went out in downtown Chicago and had a blast. I really think that writing out a gameplan had a positive impact for me, because I recall being pumped before I even left the crib. I think that because I had some objectives to accomplish, the idea of having a good time regardless didn't seem as random anymore.

Anyways, not going to go into too much details. I winged a friend and jumped on a grenade. Lol ok she wasn't terrible but not my type really. Eventually we are dancing and she goes to say something in my ear and I tell her that she can't get that close to my neck and not suck it. She starts sucking my neck and the beer goggles really kick in. I ask her what she is doing after and she tells me her friend lives in my neighborhood. I tell her that she should crash at my place later and she says that she will try and drive over later and I get her number.

I think I kind of knew in the back of my mind that I would sober up and lose interest in her but I am glad I pushed the envelope to remind myself how simple it can be. Anyways, bounce around and approach a few women. Opened a group of 3-4 girls and started dancing and talking to one. Grab her number and then steal her away from her friends for a bit before I get too aggressive and she peels out.

Head to the next spot and more of the same. The girl wasn't really my type has already texted me saying how cute she was and how she misses me. That sobered me up pretty quickly. If I have attractive women in my life that I do not want to be too attached to me, I definitely don't want to let women I find unattractive become too attached to me.

I grabbed one more number from a girl in a cheerleaders outfit waiting my the bathroom. Very cute and very my type, but I think I told her that like 4-5 times during the drunken conversation. Head back to converse with my guy friend and then I see three girls. One of the girls looks like a girl that I dated, so clearly she is my type. I go in, half expecting the girl to be my ex. It is not, but I still persevere. It turns out that her friends are going to head to another venue, but the girl I am talking to wants to stay put. The fact that she consciously made a decision to stay at the club instead of head to another place with her friends means that I have a real shot. We grab some drinks and grind on the dancefloor. I remember getting hard and telling her that I hate how much my costume doesn't hide my erection. She starts smiling and subtlety stroking my **** through my outfit. My **** got hard just typing that, so you can only imagine how dtf I was in the venue lol. Had a makeout sesh for a bit there but nothing too major. I didn't push hard enough to get her back to my place when the green light was showing here.

We sit on the on the couch in the club/lounge for a bit and talk. Turns out she is 33 with a kid. Not intending on getting married to her so it doesn't really concern me outside of logistics for potential future dates. I convince her to head out and find another spot. Every place we passed had +20 people waiting in line so we decide to go back to my neighborhood (finally). I ask her if she wants to head to my place or grab another drink. She says grab another drink so I tell her that we have to stop at my place quickly.

We get there and I am not getting any clear indications that she is DTF really anymore so we head to a nearby dive bar for a few drinks. Conversation turns pretty sexual pretty quickly with her talking about how much she likes getting head, blah blah blah.

I am really trying to get her back to my place but she tells me it is getting late and that we should call it a night. Her ride comes to pick her up and take her home. Since she mentioned that she lives nearby, I told her that once her ride drops her off, she should take the car and head back to my place. It was a sliver of a chance but no luck unfortunately. Can't win em all.

Thoughts
I was very pleased with the results and pushing the envelope even though I didn't end up fvcking at all. The night was a reminder of how things can escalate sexually when intent is displayed. So far, none of my numbers are really panning out, but they never felt like high probability anyways.

One thing I want to remind myself is that when I am doing cold approaches, even if I get rejected, I feel like most women don't view me as a douchebag or aggressive. When it comes to nightgame, I have to accept that females are less likely to have a savoury impression of me in that circumstance. I don't intend on groping women or doing stupid drunk sh!t, but if I am making it clear that I am interested in sex within 30 minutes of meeting someone (or 30 seconds when I dust off the Apoc Opener), I have to accept the reactions that come with it. In the same vein, my flake rate should increase pretty substantially because I can't really separate myself from the next guy in a club environment.

On a related note, I have started cutting some of the fat from my operation. Janelle is cute but I am not attempting to set up any more dates with her. Right now, the only thing that I think would get her interested would be for her to see me with another woman and realize that she missed her shot and then try and rekindle the conversation. Outside of that, she is pretty low-interest in retrospect. That is even though we talked about some in-depth stuff. Emotionally I think she may not have been compatible with me, but I was definitely attracted to her. Onwards and upwards though. Also, there are a few phones numbers I've gotten over the weeks that have been unresponsive that I have also stopped texting. I've mentioned this in previous journals, but I think that to preserve my ego, I can't chase women for extended periods of time. It really brings into question how amazing I am as a person which is sacrilege. I don't want to tap out the moment a girl flakes on me or anything but if someone consistently can't make time or an effort, then they clearly don't value you as much as they should so eventually I have to cut ties.

That's all for now. I plan to write up a gameplan for Cold Approaching as well as dating in the near future. More when it happens.

 

[macallik]

Went out Friday night and met 2-3 females that I am attracted to and might take a shot at in the future.

The downside of having 2-3 options in close proximity to each other all night was that I felt compelled not to neglect anyone for too long. As soon as I moved onto the next girl, another guy would swoop in and game the old girl I was talking to. As the night progressed, I felt my chances with each of the other girls was dwindling.

Colette
In comes Colette. She was late to the event and by herself on the outskirts of the group. We strike up a convo and into the interaction so I tell her lets go the bar and grab a drink... Isolation and alcohol are a deadly combination when it comes to night-game.

We are talking and I am doing my usual C&F spiel, except thanks to alcohol and my current interest in displaying intent for night-game, there is subtle (and not-so-subtle) sexual innuendo throughout the convo. For example:

Colette: You are just trying to sleep with me tonight aren't you?
Macallik: Haha what kinda guy to you take me for... I'm not just trying to sleep with you tonight... well yes I am but I never said anything about making it a one-time thing.

Lots of back and forth, bits of kino here and there, and drinks. Tell her she is trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me and random stuff I can't remember. What I do remember now that I think about it is one drunken move that makes me cringed when I look back... I showed her a text of a girl I used to mess, who, in this small world we live in, had befriended another girl I used to mess with, and that girl introduced her to a guy friend that I have and she was out on a date with him. I have no feelings for either of those girls, but sharing that text with a girl I am trying to get interested in me would just scream insecurity if I watched another guy do that. Luckily it didn't scare her away.

So we are talking at the bar and bit by bit, my friends start leaving. She says she wants another drink and I tell her we can have a night cap at my place. She seems somewhat hesitant or maybe it was just an unconsciously reaction but when I get up from my bar stool, she gets up as well and we head outside. She does give me a spiel about not sleeping with me as she gets up though.

She comes back to my place, drinks a bit and then we get naked and do the hippity-dippity. I think she drunkenly starts saying how she already knows I'm never gonna talk to her. She spends the night and leaves in the morning. I remembered her name and everything, but it was kinda ironic getting her phone number after we had sex. It goes like that sometimes.

I texted her my name as she walked out of the door. She didn't respond back like most girls do. I sent her a text today as well to which she hasn't responded to either. Might give her a call in a few days to see if she picks up, but if not, I'll just call it a ONS and put her number into the low probability pile of girls that I only reach out to as backup dates or to meet at a place where I can meet other girls if she flakes. I think the chances of us meeting again are like 40% right now... there wasn't a lot of rapport built so she doesn't know what she is missing out on. #ThingsConceitedPplSay I know. I am kinda joking but not 100%.

There was a couple red flags when we were talking but not sure if it was real or just that alcohol had her talking reckless. Not opposed to hanging out and getting to know her and added to the team as long as she isn't cray-cray and we are compatible.

Thoughts
Alcohol is great for displaying intent with little regard for rejection. With that said, it is very very easy to put my foot in my mouth when I have passed my limits in terms of alcohol. When I am night-gaming, I want to have a few drinks, but stay sober enough so that I am aware of what I am saying, and whether it is bringing me closer or further from sex.

Another thing I want to work on is dealing with the group dynamic with multiple targets together. I ended up with a bit of because a wildcard came onto the scene, but if it was down to just those three girls, I would have left without getting a number, let alone sex.

With that said, I know how important it is to acknowledge when I have a good night and get the results that I want, and I am proud of my first same-night-lay in a few months. I am glad to see that the game-plan I set down and spelled out is already paying dividends. When I have some time this week, I really need to sit down and figure out my game-plan for day game and dating longer term.

More when it happens.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Good stuff man!

Hopefully she texts you back and you can have a FWB situation going on.

 

[macallik]

Good stuff man!

Hopefully she texts you back and you can have a FWB situation going on.

Thanks AJ. She eventually texted me back and we had a brief text convo but went MIA the day we were scheduled to hang out. I'm going to chalk it up to a ONS and disengage for now. Back to back women have just gone ghost on me which is abnormal for me.

If I am 100% honest, I am nowhere near in love or heavily interested in Colette but I feel like we got along and I'll never know to what extent we could get along because she is acting flaky. It feels like I was about to sign someone to join the team and she backed out of the deal at the last minute. (Mark Cuban knows what I am talking about) I can't take it too personally because in retrospect I have unintentionally been a d!ck to women. With many options comes many responsibilities.

I think one of the learning lessons for this experience may be that if I am gunning for ONS and same-night lays, I have to be content with the idea that some women will not hit me back afterwards. If I want no-strings-attached sex without commitment, I have to accept that. The only actionable items I have to keep them coming back regardless is to step up my sex-game as much as I can.

Outside of that, nothing major to report. In NYC with family right now. Still need to write out some more goals for relationships and day game once I've sorted out some other things in my life.

 

[macallik]

Outside of that, nothing major to report. In NYC with family right now.

Didn't have work today so I spent some of the down-time thinking of ways to improve my confidence as well as my experiences in the field. I am going to head out later tonight and see what I can get into. My chances of a ONS are pretty low because I don't have my own hotel room, that doesn't mean I can't go out and work on night-game in the city that never sleeps. Just typing that out has me feeling pretty stoked.

 

[sunnykhatri736]

Number of approaches : 1
Number : 0

I came out of my gym and she was going from there on road.
I followed her trying to do eye contact but it was a road so i thought she might enter her home but then she went to a grocery store and from there she went to her car but before she entered her car i made my approach.
Me : hii....whats your name ?
She : not interested .

 

[macallik]

Number of approaches : 1
Number : 0

I came out of my gym and she was going from there on road.
I followed her trying to do eye contact but it was a road so i thought she might enter her home but then she went to a grocery store and from there she went to her car but before she entered her car i made my approach.
Me : hii....whats your name ?
She : not interested .

I saw your other thread as well. You should start a journal so that we can track your progress

 

[macallik]

Lot of stuff has happened since my last post. I'll try to be as brief as possible:

Taylor:
Met her about 3 weeks ago through some mutual friends. We were all hanging out and she didn't seem interested, but when I was getting ready to leave, I threw out that I was going to a friend's bday party and she was keen to go, so me and her went to my friend's house by ourselves. At my friends house we played games and stuff and then went to the club.

After the club, Amber came back to my place. Fooled around a good deal and no sex officially but I did get my d!ck in her va-jay-jay for a few pumps before she stopped me haha.

Since then we've gone out for drinks a few times and she has talked about having sex with me a few times but nothing has panned out. To be honest, the reason things haven't panned out is because of me more than her. When I met her, she was the cutest person amongst my friends, but she is not really my type when I think about it so I have been kinda dragging my feet and dodging her when it comes to hanging out with her or trying to fvck her. Probably isn't a smart idea since we are likely to see each other again through mutual friends/activities anyways

Missy:
This is the girl who went MIA on me after we had sex. On a whim, I tried calling her phone again about two weeks ago and she picked up. An awkward conversation ensued. Basically she was out of the country for a while and then came back to the country, but is leaving the country for good at the end of the year. She said she had been 'meaning to call me' but she never did and actions speak louder than words. Invited her out on two occasions and she flaked both times.

I hit her up today and we tentatively have a dinner date at her place set up for tomorrow. Not holding my breath though. Since I was a sh!tty lay last time, I want to second chance to prove myself haha. On the other hand though, since I've gotten new prospects since she went MIA, I am not really invested in Missy any longer so fvcking her again is more of a bonus than anything else. She is not very good at communication/empathy so I really don't see her as bringing anything to my life outside of that as it stands right now.

Amber:
Met at a Thanksgiving party. Didn't really reach out to her for 1-2 weeks but eventually I texted her and then we talked on the phone for a good hour or so. A few days later, she calls me to tell me that she is in the city and that if I am free, I should hang out with her and her friend. I oblige and we do drinks. I am getting a lotttt more comfortable with women and so I kept both women entertained and engaged throughout most of the night.

Overall, I am unsure where I stand with Amber though because even though I shifted the conversation shifted towards sex a few times and asked some of my usual rapport/attraction building questions, on a few occasions she would break rapport or not pay attention to what I was saying when I was talking to her. Girls that are interested in me don't tend to act that way. I think I will reevaluate how to game her the next time we hang out.

One thing I didn't like about her was that she was a bit of a flirt with other guys at the bar as well which definitely eliminated any chance that I would make her a top-tier plate. Nothing over the top, but it did put me in that weird situation where I feel like I am trying to game her, but another random guy would be justified in taking his shot at her at the same time. She can be the most attractive woman in a room, so if she reacts to male attention that way, it would be a headache to ever try to enter into anything meaningful with her. Still wouldn't mind doing the hippity-dippity with her though.

Anyways, after that night, I invited her to hang out twice since then and she has flaked both times. FWIW she did counter-offer different days to hang out when she had to cancel. We were supposed to hang out today but I haven't heard from her and I couldn't be bothered to send her a text to ask her if we are still scheduled to meet up. I will text her later this week, but because of my uncertainty towards her level of interest, I won't be surprised if any future plans also end up falling through.

 

[macallik]

Tracey:
She is a friend of a friend that was interested in me. I was at a happy hour once and she invited me to come to her place for drinks. She says she invited our mutual friend, but that friend declined so it is just me and her. I get there and we drink and smoke and watch tv. Didn't get any signals to make a move really and then she had me sleep on the couch when she went to bed. I was already on the fence about sleeping with her, but the fact that she invited me over and then didn't give any signs that she wanted to have sex was pretty much the nail in the coffin for her. I woke up in the morning and snuck out before she woke up.

Bumped into her in the neighborhood once and she was friendly but rushed away like she had to be somewhere important lol.

Jai:
I went to a dance party on Wednesday and saw Jai with two female friends. Eventually the two friends went on the dancefloor and I approached Jai when she was sitting alone. We started talking with her and found out more about her in 20 minute conversation than most people probably learn in a handful of dates. I say this not to brag but to remind people that a lot of the day-to-day stuff that people talk about on dates is irrelevant and doesn't not give you an idea of who someone is or the best way to figure out where they are coming from. We talked about how she is a virgin but she thinks about sex a lot. Theresa was the same way and I ended up taking her virginity. To be honest, I am unsure if I want to take Jai's V-Card or not... I really don't see it as a badge of honor or anything because I am pretty amoral when it comes to sex.

Anyways, my convo with Jai also touched on other things that helped me understand her such as the issues that she has with her family, what she can work on in future relationships, etc. My female friend, Monica came in and jumped into our conversation eventually. Kind of a c0ckblock move imo but it could be because my female friend might be developing a crush on me. For my ego, this would be a good development because my female friend is attractive, but outside of that, it would be a nightmare because my female friend is not someone I would date. She just sees the world differently than I do and I don't think we have a lot in common as a result.

But yeah, back to Jai. We scheduled another date for Friday and met up for drinks. Good conversation again. Monica texted me to see where I was, and when I told her, she came and brought a date with her, so suddenly we were on a double date. Monica and her date pull up chairs next to me and Jai. Normally I would have just had a conversation with Jai, Monica, and Monica's date, but I think that Monica was kinda pushing things by inviting herself to hang out while I am on a date and also, the fact that Monica is attractive and keeps popping up wherever I am could make things weird for Jai.

As a result, I basically ignored Monica and talked to Jai as if Monica wasn't there. Monica and her date eventually leave after about 45 mins of this. Jai and I talk until about 1 am and then head out. No chance of anything with Jai this time, but the next time we hang out, I will make the conversation more sexual and see what happens.

As for Monica, she also tried to intertwine her arm with mines at one point in the night which I subtly undid as I was talking. I know this sounds like Monica is super into me and everything, but I think one alternative option is that Monica wants attention from me when I am around other women. Just wanting some validation is no big deal because sometimes I seek validation from people I have no interest in romantically so I can understand that. If, one the other hand, she is catching feelings for me, then things can get a bit messy because I already know we aren't compatible so anything more than no-strings attached sex will end in disaster.

Connie:
Hadn't really hung out with her since this post because she turned a little too clingy and we are not compatible when it comes to personality. About two months ago she texted me at like 12am and I perceived it as a booty call. She did not and said that we had already tried to go down that path and we didn't need to do it again. Since we weren't compatible, I only perceived it as sex anyways so I didn't sweat it and didn't reinitiate after the convo ended.

About two weeks ago, she texted me inviting me out for drinks with her and her female friends. I declined but told her to hit me up after if she was interested. We were scheduled to go for drinks but by the time she came to my neighborhood, the bar was closed, so we went to my place and had a netflix and chill night which ended in fvcking.

She has been texting me more often and tried to guilt me into inviting her to hang out for the holidays. I told her no and that I don't hang out with women over the holidays because it gives ppl the wrong impression. I will give her a pass for now, but any further red flags and I am going to let her go.

Nicki
Went to an event last night and was sitting at the bar. I saw Nicki when she walked in and she made eye contact and smiled. She looked to be older (mid 30s?) but she looked cute. She walked by later and smiled again. Later on, I saw her sitting by herself and approached.

macallik: Hey... my mom said never to let a cute girl sit at a party and check her Instagram feed by herself
Nicki: Haha
macallik: haha let me take that back, I don't want to start the interaction with a lie or anything. My name is macallik *extends hand*

But yeah, talked for a good 15 minutes, made her laugh and then got her number. She is an Interior designer from the North Side of Chicago. Looking back, I feel like if I wanted to, I could've talked to her longer and insta-dated to somewhere quieter, but a) there were a lot of prospects there and b) the idea of insta-dating didn't even cross my mind during the interaction, so I thanked her for the conversation and left. I sent her a text and she responded, and then about 20 mins later I responded to her text and she had already left the party. I will give her a call later this week and try to set a date up. The conversation and attraction was there but it was average compared to some of the other women in my life so if things become difficult or seem 'off', I will let her fall to the wayside.

Callie:
We met her at a party a few months ago. She was in love with someone else, but didn't want to hang out with me unless I was interested in a relationship. I am not interested in a relationship and conveyed that to her but I didn't stop texting to hang out with her. I tried to set something up for the 2-3 weeks after the party, but she would flake or not respond to text messages. It stopped being worth the effort so I sent a text essentially saying something to the effect of:

I am not sure if it is bad timing or something but it has been pretty hard to talk to you. No hard feelings but I'll keep your number in my back pocket and if we cross paths again we can try this again.

Callie responding with a text making a comment about me giving up on her. I didn't respond to it.

About 3 weeks later, Callie hits me up out of the blue and sets up a date for us to hang out. The date was going well but Callie caught be talking about my plans for the weekend and realized that I was hanging out with another woman. I try not to talk about other women and if I am dating around when I am on a date, but she asked and so I told her. Things kinda went south from there. She didn't storm out of the bar or anything dramatic, but all of a sudden she had a curfew and had to be home at reasonable hour so she could get up early in the morning. It's ironic that she is such a staunch supporter of monogamous sex but also told me about threesomes she had. Ah well, win some lose some.

Haven't talked to her since that date.

Janisse:
I met Janisse the same time I bumped into Callie a few months ago. She also stopped responding to text messages and so I sent the same text to her as I did Callie. Janisse didn't even respond to the text though lol.

She was at the party where I met Nicki. I looked at her but didn't have my glasses on and didn't realize it was her. She actually sought me out and said hello and for the life of me I couldn't recall her name. To her it probably seemed as if I saw her and then purposefully acted like I didn't remember her when she approached though lol. Anyways, her approach caught me off guard so I kept the conversation short and then ejected. I re-engaged later on in the night but Janisse didn't seem too receptive. I will shoot her a text later this week saying it was good to see her and whether she wants to try hanging out again or not. I think there is a chance she is a lesbian and I am barking up the wrong tree, but makes sense to play until I hear the whistle I suppose.

Plates:
Without going into too much detail, I have a few plates that have been in my life for an extended period of time. Out of respect for my plates and the length of our relationship, I don't really write about them publicly anymore but things are going well in those relationships as well.

 

[macallik]

Missy called and canceled our plans for Monday as was kinda expected. That was the 4th or 5th flake in a row so I decided to just call it a day. I sent a text basically saying something to the effect of:

I thought about it and you have a lot going on in your life so don't worry about rescheduling for another date. I had fun but sometimes life is funny like that. Have fun and look me up if you ever come back to the city!

After that I deleted her number. A part of me wanted to see her again for sure, but another part of me said enough is enough and was content with the realization that I will probably never see her again after sending the text.

There was no response Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. This morning I woke up to a text saying something to the effect of "Sorry for being busy but I don't want to leave without hanging out with you at least once".

I sent a text back basically saying to schedule something if you find time. So Missy is kinda still in play but not necessarily high probability. If she was staying in the city for an extended period of time, I may have been more adversarial in my responses, but regardless of the actions I take, she is leaving in the next few weeks, so it doesn't matter either way I feel like.

More when it happens.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Mac. You gotta value yourself as a man. After a chicks first flake I charge her ass to the game. If you were Kanye West would she flake on you? I don't think so and you gotta put yourself on your own pedestal and act accordingly. I bet there are a lot of chicks that look just as good or better then her that wouldn't even think about flaking on my you. I think it says a lot of a person that makes plans with someone and then flakes out consistently. You don't need to deal with her. I'd delete her and block her number.

 

[macallik]

Mac. You gotta value yourself as a man. After a chicks first flake I charge her ass to the game. If you were Kanye West would she flake on you? I don't think so and you gotta put yourself on your own pedestal and act accordingly. I bet there are a lot of chicks that look just as good or better then her that wouldn't even think about flaking on my you. I think it says a lot of a person that makes plans with someone and then flakes out consistently. You don't need to deal with her. I'd delete her and block her number.

Hey AJ, I feel you man. There have been times previously where I invested a lot of time and effort into a female that wasn't worth it. I didn't have any plates and it started to negatively affect my confidence. Back then, based on one chick's flaky behavior towards me, I started to unconsciously act clingy and it turned into a negative feedback loop...

Luckily for me, because of the amount of plates in my life, (and the success I am having at finding new plates to try and spin) I am at a place right now where one girl's actions really doesn't have a major impact on my perception of myself. Also, I already fvcked and this girl is going to be in a different country forever in a few weeks time. My persistence is more about me trying to fvck a girl I am attracted to before I never see her again haha. Thanks for looking out though.

 

[macallik]

For the last 1-2 weeks, I have shifted my focus away from chasing skirts and towards some other goals. A few days ago, I texted a few prospects to see who was free to hang out. Most of the girls who responded said something to the effect of thanks I'll let you know.

Amber
Amber responded to the text and she said she was free and wanted to see a movie. We bartered on the movie a bit but she made a comment about if she isn't paying, she will see whatever is playing but if she is paying for her ticket, she wants to see Movie A or Movie B. Normally I have no concerns paying for a movie date if the girl gets the popcorn or something but when she put it like that, I don't think there was any way that I could come off not being a trick so I agreed to watch Movie B haha.

She scooped me up from my place and we talked on the ride there. The conversation was OK. Found out some goals she had, New Year's resolutions, etc. I think she has slight ADD or narcissistic... not that she has a huge ego or anything, but similar to the first time we hung out, there were instances where I was building rapport and while I am talking, she will cut me off and say something completely unrelated which breaks rapport for me every time. In the future, if we hang out again, I think that the best approach will not be for me to focus on how similar, but instead to focus on how unique and interesting she is as a person or how 'deep' the things are that she says.

At the theaters, I'm not a "talk during the movies" kinda guy, so we didn't really talk much then. Some brushing against arms as we sat down and things like that. I noticed her trying to make eye contact a few times during the movie which was cute and a sign of interest but I guess it never registered for me to do anything about it.

On the ride home, we talked a bit more. This time the rapport was deeper fwiw. We talked about family and trust and other familial things. When we got to my place, she looked for somewhere to pull over instead of just pulling up outside and letting me out, so I got the idea that she wanted to talk but then she started texting on her phone so I figured she had other plans. She asked me what I was going to be up to for the rest of the night. Normally I would have tried to parlay an insta-date here but I had an emergency to attend to so I said that in a few hours I might head to this party going on. She said she was going to see a friend in the city and to let her know. I texted her later in the night and she responded but never gave any signs that she was heading my way so I left it at that.

Thoughts
Overall she has a good head on her shoulders. With that said, I feel like she is kinda like me in that she has a lot of plates in the background so she show interest but is harder to build rapport with and doesn't seem as invested. I am not accustomed to this but if I can mentally acknowledging that it exists, then I think I can disarm it in the field as well if I think of a logical approach.

Jackie
Last night I went to an event and ended up a table with a bunch of people I hadn't met previously. There was one girl at the end of the table (Jackie) I was interested in but there were 2-3 guys that were putting in a bid so I just conversed with the people closest to me. As the night progresses the crowd thins out. During a period there is no one at the table but me and Jackie. She scoots over and introduces herself and we start talking.

We talk politics, class, society, etc. I am bantering and blah blah. Eventually I get her # and we part ways.

Thoughts
She strikes me as someone who excels professionally but doesn't have a great skillset when it comes to bringing something to the table that men are interested in in a relationship. The conversation was decent so I might set something up to see if any sparks fly

Jai
Jai is probably the highest rated female that I have recently met. Good banter, I have a decent level of attraction and we have engaging conversations. She was out of town for the last week or so but we texted a decent amount. Some of her messages/responses did rub me the wrong way but I don't think they are a major causes for concern... I think that it was mostly that tone can be hard to decipher in text messages.

Jai returned to the city and so I will schedule a date for the near future and then report back with an update.

 

[macallik]

NYE
Had a decent time to bring in the New Year. While dancing, a random girl approached me on the dancefloor and started grinding on me. We danced for a good 5-10 mins and then as she was about to walk away:

macallik: Hey before you go, can you help me out with something...
her: Yeah what's up?
macallik: Well it's 11:30 and the NYE kiss is coming up. I'm like super nervous about it so I think we should practice our kiss right now to make sure everything goes ok
her: haha *cue 5-minute makeout*

Found her at 12am and we made out at the stroke of midnight as well. Saw her making out with another dude a few minutes later so it's whatever haha. I was too tipsy and forgot to get her number anyways.

Jai
Came to my house to watch some movies last night. She is a virgin and was super-religious so I didn't expect to get substantially far, but it was hard as hell to initiate kino in a regular fashion because I sincerely can't tell when she is flirting and when she genuinely doesn't like my advances. It makes things feel less natural and breaks rapport a lot for me personally.

After, I walked her to her place and on her doorstep she told me it takes a while for her to warm up to someone but generally speaking, the things she does to show someone she is interested is the things that she has been doing with me. She said that she understands that I might be used to moving faster and she can accept if I want to call it a day and move on. Still thinking it through.

Amber
When I was hanging out with Jai, Amber apparently texted me. Didn't see it for a few hours and then didn't respond to it for about 5 hours around 1am. Amber called me back around 3am and we talked on the phone. She is a pretty open book and frank with her dating life. I spin plates so I know how hectic the lifestyle can be, but it is a slight wake-up call to hear someone tell you the last time the had sex was the same day that you had a date with them (that didn't result in sex between the two of you haha). I have fvcked 4 girls in a weekend so far be it for me to cast judgement I suppose.

We talked about love, and open relationships and past relationships. Unlike previous interactions, she was a lot more present in the conversation and didn't cut me off with unrelated comments. In fact, she often would finish a statement and then backtrack and mention that I was about to say something and ask me to finish with my thought.

With that said, hearing her talk about 1-2 of the decisions she is making in her life reminded me that the six year age gap between us can make a big difference. She is definitely smarter and more rational than I imagined when I first met her, but there is also something in her that has stopped me from taking her seriously as a plate.

We talked on the phone for 3.5 hours which is long even by my standards. Eventually I wrapped things up and went to sleep. Built some definite rapport together although I didn't get the feeling that she fell for me really at any point in the conversation. She is attractive so I wouldn't mind smashing but I am also contemplating LJBF'ing her and making her a pivot.



Thoughts
Some of my best nights out involve me planning and visualizing a gameplan beforehand. This was not the case on NYE, and so it was a lot of dancing and drinking but not nearly enough interacting with hot females. If I am going out and spending my hard earned money in the club, I want to make damn sure that I have a plan in place and that I am efficiently executing it. My money is too valuable to just drunkenly spend money without a high probability of a worthwhile return.

In terms of my plates, it might soon be time to get out there and find some more. I liked the feeling I felt when I was first talking to Jai and although that might be petering out, I want to capture that feeling and have it reciprocated with my new plates. Looks-wise I am definitely heading in the right direction. Even quality-wise, I am heading in the right direction. The girls I've met recently are not low quality, they just aren't making sparks fly for me internally Just got to keep keeping on and posting my updates in my journal.

 

[macallik]

Not really motivated to go out there and sarge recently. Focused more on my other goals in life right now and the idea of dedicating time to going clubbing/sarging seems kinda fruitless. That might change if I get horny though haha.

Saturday:
Went out for drinks with a plate and then went back to my place. We got into a semi-argument because there was a bunch of hair in my trashcan and it wasn't hers. Rookie mistake by me for not cleaning out my trashcans and eliminating all traces of other women. Also, I lied about it and it was a sh!tty lie that she saw right through.

After things winded down between us, she went home and I went out for drinks and dancing and bumped into a girl who I had a ONS with about a year ago and never called. It was one of those instances where I realized as we were hanging out that I wasn't really attracted to her sexually, but by that time she was interested in doing the hippity dippity. She was friendly when I came and spoke to her, but I still spent most of the night actively avoiding her which put me in a mediocre state.

I did meet one girl and spent most of the night talking to her. Even venue switched. In retrospect though, the venue switch was pretty sh!tty. We went from talking in a bar setting to standing next to each other in a club setting. I got nervous about the interaction and didn't push the envelope with kino to following things up.

Overall, I had too much to drink and didn't have a gameplan/goal so things started strong and then went south as the night progressed. After an hour or so, I got in my head too much and got self-conscious about our interaction. She probably got self-conscious too. Didn't # close but may see her again as we are kinda in the same social circle. I definitely wouldn't mind some no strings attached fvcking but I don't feel motivated to go out and chase skirts right now. I think that feeling will come back soon enough though.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Southsider checking in. I'll have my boat in Diversey Harbor all summer long - bring some Booz - plates and we'll party.

The city from the water is a game changer.

 

[macallik]

^^^ Sounds dope. May have to take you up on that offer when the weather gets better.


Anyways, I think I found out what motivates me to go out and chase skirts... my ego.

Today got a text from Janelle for the first time in +2 months. I had stopped reaching out to her after she flaked on yet another invite. Anyways she texted me apologizing and saying she valued me as a person and wanted me to stay in her life and askingif I would be her friend. I was nice because I genuinely harbor no ill-feelings towards her, but I told her that I am not interested in just being friends and that it'd be best if we just continued to go our separate ways. She understood and agreed and I said goodbye and deleted her from my phone.

It was the mature and right thing to do, but at the same time, getting confirmation that she wasn't interested stung a little even though I literally forgot her name and most things about her about a week after I stopped texting her. I don't want to her prove to her that women are interested in me because she didn't value my time and effort so I don't value her as a person in my life. At the same time though, I suddenly feel the need to prove to myself that I can go out there and fvck women and that they like me.

To be honest, it feels slight insecure, but the fact that it makes me want to get out there and mingle isn't a bad thing lol. I have a date lined up for Sunday during the game. It is a girl I met on Halloween and forget to mention in my journal apparently. I attempted to escalate the dancing when we first met and she still gave me her # but told me that she was looking for a seriously relationship. I insinuated that I am not looking for that. She responds to texts and is still single so just going to stick to my regular gameplan.

I have a house party I am heading to on Saturday and might swing to a bday party at a club afterwards.

Thoughts
I think the takeaway that I have been dodging for a while is that I could have/should have escalated with Janelle a long time ago and gotten exactly where I am right now. I don't want to scare chicks away by coming on too strong, but I would like to become better at displaying intent and making them decide what they want to do when the time comes.

More when it happens.

 

[macallik]

Been balking on the scene a bit I feel like. I haven't been as social as I should be when I am out and about recently. I seem to find ways to subconsciously (and perhaps at times consciously) distract myself when it is time to meet new cuties. With that said, I've gotten a few numbers over the last week or so.

The main concern is that I am meeting around one woman per night and getting one number. It is good for my confidence when the only woman I talk to ends up being interested/giving me her number, but at the same time, I can reflect back and imagine that there were other women that were attractive that I should've talked to. I've been in many situations where I meet a woman and they say they saw me before (and are clearly interested) and it reminds me that there are attractive women watching me at all times and it is my duty to sift the interested from the disinterested.

Going out extensively this weekend. I cannot speak to whether I get numbers or not, but there is no excuse for me not to meet a least five women this weekend. Here are my goals to ensure that I don't have my head in the clouds all night:

• Remember the reason why you came out
• Remember that you brought your phone to get numbers, not to act cool when you have nothing to do
• Be attentive and in the moment. When I do this, I am much more open-minded and 'in the zone' when it comes to finding ways to start a great conversation
  
• Don't drink too much. Alcohol can work wonders for my confidence but it also makes me say stupid sh!t that doesn't get me any closer to my goal
• Remind yourself of the possibilities: I had sex one the first night multiple nights last year. Who is to say 2nite isn't also a night? Multiple girls that got to know me are interested in hanging out with me on a regular basis. Who is to say that the girl in the corner I haven't met yet will not be thinking the exact same thing after I strike up a conversation?
• Enjoy yoselffffff b!tchesssss (clearly I've started pregamed)

More when it happens...

 

[macallik]

Just had a girl flake on coming through to my place. Receptive via text but excuses when it was time to come over. Gonna have to chalk it up as part of the game and get back on the hunt shortly. Feels good overall though because I was a lot more forward and aggressive with her when I met her. I actually tried to get her back to my place the night we met but no luck. She is only in town for spring break and I don't have any additional time for her so there is nothing left to say/do.

Gonna post more in-depth in the future but just dropping a quick line for now.